


Dreaming Of The Colour Purple

by orphan_account



Series: DOTCP [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, SPAAAAACE, Slow Burn, Tags to be added, accidental/unconscious self-harm, kissing n stuff, tw blood mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 00:58:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 130,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11047977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lance is studying to be a figher pilot, the ONE thing he's been passionate about since he was a child, except something is holding him back.Suddenly, their hermit of a roommate moves out and a new transfer student moves in three quarters of the way through the year after being mysteriously thrown out of college and forced to transfer, main problem is, their new roommates best friend and classmate has also transferred, and is known to be one of the best fighter pilots of their generation.Lance already can't stand him.





	1. New Roomate

**Author's Note:**

> baby's first published fanfiction, be kind.  
> Also am a british person so let me know if there are any inaccuracies either in the comments or on tumblr @foxsmo-lder

Lance rubbed his eyes as the sunlight streamed through the curtains, he had a feeling it was way too early for this sort of thing to be happening, raising his head and peering at the alarm clock next to his bed, which read 12:30pm, he quietly made peace with the fact he’d totally missed two of his morning classes.  
He sat up and stretched, a strangled yawn escaping his lips as he stood up and glanced through the curtains, it was a beautiful day, sure to be roasting hot. There were multitudes of students sat in the quad in groups, basking in the glorious daylight. He quickly dressed and left his room. Greeted by the sight of one of his roommates sat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, her laptop out in front of her, her messy short hair pushed back by her green headphones, she was staring intently at the screen, fingers poised as if ready to type aggressively. 

“Morning, Pidge.” Lance muttered, reaching into a cupboard and grabbing a bowl and some cereal.

“Definitely not morning.” Pidge muttered, moving one of the headphones away from her ear as she watched him enter the room. “You missed all of this morning’s classes.”

“I’m aware, Pidge, thanks.” Lance sighed, pouring some cereal and milk into his bowl, he rooted around in the drawer searching for a spoon, only to find there were none, so he settled on a fork.

“You could just wash up a spoon, y’know?” Pidge chuckled, watching Lance scoop cereal into his mouth sloppily. Lance shrugged and continued, he was nothing if not determined.

“Well, I made notes on this morning’s lectures if you wanted to have a look through them.” Pidge threw her immaculately decorated notebook towards him, the page was littered with useful information about their shared subject. He took it and scanned through it, one hand still scooping cereal.

“Oh, and I have some news.” Pidge commented, still not looking up from her laptop. “The ‘hermit’ as you call them, is leaving. We’re getting a new roommate.”  
Lance made a vaguely interested noise. There was always one in every apartment, the hermit, the person that never seemed to leave their room. Never made any noise. It was so unfamiliar to Lance, who was exceptionally sociable thanks to a huge family.

“Don’t you wanna find out who it is?” Pidge looked up, making eye contact with Lance finally, one eyebrow raised.

“What? We’re not gonna find out till they get here?” Lance responded, an eyebrow quirking in response. Pidge grinned and motioned with her head to her laptop screen. Lance picked up his bowl and rounded the breakfast bar to stand behind her.

“Hunk Garrett, huh?” Lance read aloud. Pidge removed her headphones and looked at Lance.

“Same major as us both, but a transfer student.” Pidge responded. “He’s about the same age as you, he should really be in the year above us, but he wanted to re-do his first year because he’s transferring. Apparently something classified about being kicked out?”

“Looks friendly enough.” Lance commented, ignoring the subtle dig about Lance being older, he’d been held back a year for being behind on work. Although he told his parents a similar story to Hunk’s, he wanted to repeat so that he had all the relevant information perfected. Pidge smirked and stretched.

“I take it now that you’ve eaten you won’t join me for lunch?” Pidge suggested, Lance backed away as she stood and stretched, turning the laptop off and slipping on her shoes.

“I could always go for lunch.”

 

Lance tucked his hands in his pockets as he and Pidge made their way across the quad, Lance glanced to each group, for such a sociable person, Lance really struggled to make friends other than Pidge, but Pidge was one of those people, really easy to get along with, didn’t ask questions, she just kind of accepted things quietly. Very non-judgemental.

“Where are we going?” Lance asked. 

“I super fancy coffee, you into it?” Pidge responded, stretching her arms behind her head.

“It’s soooo hot though!” Lance moaned.

“You know you can order a cold drink!” 

“Fine!”

 

They rounded the corner to the local coffee shop, it wasn’t quite on the quad, but they preferred to be in quieter places, not so frequented by university students. Pidge glanced through the window.

“Hey there’s a new guy!” Pidge exclaimed excitedly. She pointed through the glass and Lance followed her finger, there was indeed a new guy. Long black hair, bangs flopping over his forehead.

“Does that guy have a mullet?” Lance guffawed, not believing what he was seeing.

“Yeaaah! Bring it back!” Pidge laughed, throwing an arm enthusiastically in the air in a fist pump. Lance groaned and shook his head, the guy behind the counter noticed and glanced blankly at them both and then went back to what he was doing. Despite the haircut, this guy seemed pretty cute.

Pidge pushed the door open and approached the counter, smiling the whole way.

“Hey! You’re new here aren’t you?” Pidge started brightly, the guy looked up at her, expression still blank. He nodded. “I just wanted to say I dig the haircut!”

“Huh? What about my haircut?” He finally spoke, his voice almost matching his blank demeanor. He lifted a hand to touch his hair resting on the back of his neck. 

“I just dig it, I think it suits you…” Pidge’s smile faltered, she glanced quickly at Lance who shrugged, the guy who’s name tag read ‘Keith’ followed her line of sight and locked eyes with Lance. In all of his 20 years of life he’d never met someone who looked at him with such distaste. Lance stepped back, feeling like he’d been punched in the gut. Pidge noticed, quickly reeled off their order and paid. She led him over to the end of the counter to wait for their drinks to be made, trying to talk rubbish to try and take his mind of the look that Keith guy just gave him. Lance numbly watched Keith make their drinks, clumsily, he was spilling hot milk all over his hands and making a complete mess of it.

“What the hell is he doing?” Pidge muttered angrily. “What the heck is Shiro doing hiring this guy!”

Lance grunted an affirmation, and as if by divine intervention, Shiro, the owner of the coffee shop, appeared from behind the counter.

“Was it just pure coincidence that my ears are burning, or are you guys talking about me?” Shiro grinned, leaning against the counter. Pidge squealed at the shock, took a deep breath and motioned with her head to Keith, who was still sloppily making their drinks.

“Who the heck is that?” Pidge whispered. “He was so freaking rude to me and looked at Lance like he was something disgusting he’d stepped in.”

Shiro sucked in a breath and looked apologetically at Lance.  
“I’m sorry, he’s an old family friend…” Shiro started, glancing quickly back at Keith. “He just transferred here and is staying with me at the moment. My mom made me promise I'd always take care of him when she died. I couldn’t say no. I swear he didn’t used to be this bad."

“Oh he’s going to be attending our college?” Pidge questioned, Shiro nodded, an apologetic look in his eyes, Pidge sucked in a breath. “Same major?” Shiro nodded again, it was Lance’s turn to suck in a breath. The conversation fell silent as Keith turned with their finished drinks in his hands.

“Oh Shiro, you know these people?” Keith muttered, still looking mildly bitter. His fingers bright red from the burning hot milk.

“Yeah, they’re regulars, so you’ll do well to be nice to them.” Shiro responded, kindly but with a slight lilt of sternness, Shiro had that way. Lance always thought he’d make a good college professor with a voice like that. Keith gave Shiro a look, grimaced in an attempt to smile and placed their drinks in front of them on the counter.

“There you go.” Keith gritted his teeth, not daring to look up at Lance again, he side-eyed Shiro once more and continued on with his work, setting about clearing up all the spilt milk.

They said their farewells to Shiro and left the coffee shop, Lance toyed with his cup self-conciously. He straightened his back and puffed out his chest.

“What the heck was his problem?” Lance exclaimed loudly as they continued back to their apartment. 

“Oh god, who knows.” Pidge replied, fluffing hair out of her face. “Maybe he’s just one of those people, y’know has little to no social skills?”

“God, you always make good excuses for people!” Lance huffed. “Why do you always gotta see the good in people.”

“Because good is all we got nowadays.”

 

As they returned to their apartment, they were met with a very confused looking Hunk at the door. Lance thanked god that they had seen his photo before otherwise they’d have been exceptionally terrified to find someone of such stature waiting by their door.

“Oh hey, you must be Hunk!” Pidge smiled extending a hand. Hunk breathed a huge sigh of relief, grabbed Pidge’s hand and pulled her into the greatest bear hug of her life. She looked at Lance, mildly perturbed by the casual intimacy from a stranger.

“Yes! And you must be Pidge, and Lance!” He cried, his voice wonderfully friendly. “I’m so glad you guys are here, I couldn’t get in! I don’t think they gave me the right key!” Hunk let go of Pidge and lifted his other hand, the key had completely snapped.

“Um, I think it might just be broken.” Lance inspected it, “must have snapped in the doorway.”

“Aw crap!” Hunk sighed, “Great first impression, I break your freaking door!” Lance and Pidge both shrugged, sipping on their coffee.

“We’ve had worse today.” Pidge chuckled. Hunk glance between them and shrugged, dropping to his knees in front of the door, he took the broken end of his key and put it back in the lock, he slowly twisted it till the door fell open and Hunk fell with it. Pidge and Lance both fell apart, after they pulled themselves together and helped Hunk up, they helped bring his luggage in and showed him his new room and the rest of the apartment.

“So, why did you transfer so far into the year?” Pidge questioned, they were all sat on the sofa together, the television playing in the background.

“Ugh, it’s complicated…” Hunk looked away, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Pidge and Lance locked eyes, curiosity piqued.

“Now you HAVE to tell us!” Lance grinned, arms wide.

“It wasn’t really me…” Hunk started. “It was a friend, we kind of got kicked out together. Totally not my fault, I’m totally innocent in the whole thing.”

“What happened to your friend?” Pidge asked.

“Oh he’s transferred here too. He’s staying with a friend of his though. He’s not the most.... sociable of people.” Hunk laughed. “He’s nice once you get to know him, I’ll have to introduce you.”

Lance sighed, not entirely convinced he could cope with meeting another new person, lest he gain another death stare.

"Hey, I better fix the door, try and get the end of my key out of the lock," Hunk laughed, glancing at his broken key, still in his hand.

"How are you going to do that?" Lance asked, Hunk grinned and pulled a complicated-looking tool out of his back pocket and tapped himself on the nose with it and shuffled off to the front door, he reappeared moments later with the other half of they key in his hand, looking triumphant.

"Remind me to get a new key cut," He suddenly sighed, throwing the key parts in the bin, his victory blunted a little. "Hey, why don't we get some pizza, my treat, I'll give my friend a shout and see if he can come over and meet you guys, only if you don't mind."

Lance hesitated for a second.

"I don't see why not..."


	2. Coincidences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Have you guys met?” Hunk stuttered, sensing the vibe in the room straight away.
> 
> “Remember when I mentioned bad first impressions?” Pidge muttered coldly, not taking her eyes off a very red Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, i wrote 11,000 words in one night and i just had to get it out  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder

“Keith! What is your problem?!” Shiro yelled, totally exasperated. Keith wouldn’t look at him, his fingers were sore from the multiple burns. He turned on the cold tap and ran them underneath it.

“I’m sorry, Shiro.” He replied. He didn’t really have an excuse, he didn’t know why he was trying to make Shiro’s life so difficult. It was probably because he didn’t want to be working in some shitty coffee shop, pretending to be nice to people.

“It’s fine, just take your time, it’s because you’re rushing.” Shiro ran a hand through his tuft of hair. Luckily it was the end of the day, the last couple of people were finishing their coffees and newspapers and slowly filing out.

“Can I go upstairs now?” Keith closed his eyes. Shiro muttered an affirmative and Keith went through the door behind the counter, not looking up once. He ignored the strong smell of coffee beans and climbed the stairs towards Shiro’s apartment. He opened the door and went to his temporary room. He allowed his body to fall onto the bed. Sucking in a deep breath of air and stared at the wall to his right. It was all empty, nothing there, no posters no paintings no nothing. He just felt empty. How could he go so wrong? How could he manage to get both of them thrown out of college. It was pathetic, he could have lived with being kicked out, but Hunk too? He’d just come along for the ride, he’d never leave Keith to make stupid mistakes on his own. He reached into his pocket and stared at his phone. 3 messages and 2 missed calls, all from Hunk. 

He sucked it up and called him.

“Hey! Keith! Good to hear from you!” Hunk exclaimed happily. “How are you doing?”

“I’ve been better.” Keith responded, it was calming to hear his voice. “How was your day?”

“It’s been ok! I met my roommates, they’re really cool, I think you’d like them.”

“People don’t like me.”

“I like you!”

“You’re an exception…”

“Hey! You should come over and meet them tonight! We’re getting some pizzas in and watching some crappy tv!”

“I…” Keith faltered. He knew he should, but he just couldn’t. Not after the day he’d had “I… I can’t tonight, I’ve had a hard day at work, and Shiro wanted us to do something together, catch up. Sorry,”

“It’s fine! Just feel free to pop round whenever this weekend, I’ve got tonnes of stuff to put away in my room, you could come and help me if you like.”

“Sounds good…”

“I’ll text you the address! By the way, how was your first day of work?”

“Awful… there was this one guy-

 

Lance peeled another slice of pizza and chowed down, it had been so long since he and Pidge had spent any time in the living room of the apartment. He was really enjoying himself. Hunk had such a similar energy to Pidge, just super laid back and easy-going. They all chatted easily, conversation was flowing so nicely, they were actually laughing. Lance felt like he could go all night. They got through three pizzas together when Hunk started flagging, he yawned and stretched.

“It’s been a long day, I think I’m gonna hit the hay.” He rubbed his eyes. “Hey, I rhyme when I’m tired!”

Lance chuckled and Pidge was silent, Lance turned to face her and saw that she was fast asleep. Hunk chuckled and picked her up gently.

“Which is her room?” Hunk asked quietly.

“Last door.” Lance whispered. He stood up too, grabbing the pizza boxes, he dismantled them and put them in the recycling. He felt like he’d get a good nights sleep tonight. He had two good roommates, he’d almost completely forgotten the coffee shop guy, hopefully Shiro would be manning the shop tomorrow instead. He made his way to his room, hopped in the shower and went to bed. He fell asleep thinking about sunshine and pizza.

 

Lance awoke the next day to a light rapping on his door. He looked at his alarm clock, 7:30am on a Saturday? He leaned out of bed and flicked the door handle so that it slowly opened on its own. Hunk peeked his head around.

“Oh dude! I’m so sorry, did I wake you?” Hunk apologised quietly, he extended an arm into the bedroom, he was holding a coffee cup. Lance sat up and accepted the cup, motioning Hunk to enter. Hunk took a seat on the bed next to him, smiling kindly.

“I got you guys coffee to say thanks for last night!” Hunk grinned proudly. “You guys have been so welcoming to me! I could have been put with a bunch of weirdos who tried to kill me or rob me in my sleep, so I’m grateful for that!”

“Uh, you’re welcome.” Lance grinned sleepily. “Don’t worry, the murder and thieving come when you least expect it.” Hunk chuckled. “I’m dead serious.” Lance kept a serious face one and Hunk look mildly terrified till Lance nudged him with his foot.

“Naw, we’re really lucky too!” Lance laughed. “Our last roommate was a bit of a hermit, we never saw them come or go. So it’s nice to have someone a little more sociable.”

“Yeah, I heard, Pidge was telling me all about her.”

“Her?”

“Yeah, her name’s Allura, she was a senior.” Hunk raised an eyebrow.

“What?!” Lance leapt up from his laying position, “Allura?! That sounds like a nice name for a cute girl! How did I miss her?!”

“Pidge says you sleep in all the time and missed her constantly. Pidge showed me a picture, she is more than cute!” Hunk laughed loudly. Lance hung his head sadly.  
“Too bad she’s dating someone!” Hunk chuckled. Lance groaned loudly with his head in his hands. Hunk stood up and downed the rest of his coffee.

“Hopefully my buddy should be coming to help me unpack today, so you can finally meet him!”

“Is he cute?”  
“Um… other people have told me he’s cute?” Hunk shrugged, his eyes staring up, he’d never really thought of Keith in that way.

“I guess that’s for the best.” Lance gulped, allowing himself to wallow. “The last cute guy I saw looked at my like some shit on his shoe.”

“Hey, don’t you talk like that! You’re plenty cute!” Hunk gripped his shoulder, conviction in his eyes. Lance laughed and blushed a little. He muttered a thanks, Hunk excused himself and disappeared into his room. Lance took this as a sign that he should get up and make himself look presentable. He jumped in the shower and scrubbed his hair and face clean. He was usually so good at looking after himself but after the university holding him back for a year he fell into a bit of a funk. He pulled on a nice blue shirt and black jeans and dried his hair with a towel. He grinned at himself in the mirror and left his room, feeling motivated. He grabbed some papers and a pen and made his way into the kitchen. Pidge was sat on her laptop again, typing furiously with a glint of mischief in her eyes.

She hadn’t noticed Lance enter the room, he slowly crept up behind her and slowly lifted one of her headphones.

“Whatcha doin?” he whispered in her ear. Pidge screamed and karate chopped Lance in the stomach. Lance reeled back, papers flying everywhere.

“Oh god! LANCE! I’m sorry but don’t freaking do that!” Pidge screamed, leaping from her chair and helping him up. Lance struggled for breath, both from being winded and from laughter. Pidge laughed a little too, getting over her initial shock and relief that Lance was ok.

“Damn you’re strong,” Lance laughed, still a little out of breath. Pidge grinned smugly, suddenly her eyes roved from lances hair to his feet and back up again, she smirked. Lance felt a little hot.

“So, I take it you’ve heard that Hunk’s friend is coming over.” Pidge giggled. “You’re looking mighty handsome.” 

“Piiiidge!” Lance groaned. “I always look this good I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Pidge laughed and returned to her laptop.

“Pidge,” Lance called, she turned once more to look at him. “Can I borrow those notes from yesterday.” Pidge grinned and threw him her notebook. Lance set to work. He was familiar with all of the information, but he was never truly confident with it. He felt blessed that the university was willing to give him another shot. Hours passed, Lance worked and worked, feeling empowered. Suddenly he heard the front door open, Pidge heard it too and glanced around. Why was Lance feeling so nervous, it wasn’t like he hadn’t met new people before. He looked back down at his work and carried on.

“Keith! It’s so good to see you!” they heard Hunk yell happily from the doorway. Lance’s entire mood completely fell. He looked at Pidge and Pidge looked sternly back. And then Lance did something he’d never ever done before. He fucking ran.

 

Keith climbed the stairs to Hunk’s new apartment, nerves making his hands shake, he knocked on the door three times, he was only stood for about 10 seconds before the door opened, Hunk beamed and pulled him into a bear hug.

“Keith! It’s so good to see you!” Hunk was always overly enthusiastic. “Come in, come in! Let me introduce you to my roommates!” 

Suddenly, a flash of blue darted past them, flew into a doorway and slammed the door behind them. Hunk was dumbfounded.

“Uh… that was um, Lance?” Hunk pointed at the door, Keith just stared at the door, feeling weird. The flash of blue felt familiar. 

“And this is Pidge!” Hunk smiled, leading him into the kitchen. Keith suddenly realised who the flash of blue was. Pidge met him with a stony-eyed look.

“Have you guys met?” Hunk stuttered, sensing the vibe in the room straight away.

“Remember when I mentioned bad first impressions?” Pidge muttered coldly, not taking her eyes off a very red Keith.

“Ah.” Hunk gulped. Feeling the tension in the room. “I take it you guys didn’t start on good terms.”

Pidge shrugged, folding the lid of her laptop down and tucking it under her arm. She walked past them, not breaking eye-contact with Keith and knocked on Lance’s door. “It’s Pidge.” The door flew open and Pidge disappeared behind it. Keith sat at the breakfast bar with his head in his hands and sighed loudly.

“THAT’S THE GUY?!” Hunk gesticulated wildly with his arms.

“Great.”

 

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Lance exclaimed, whisper-yelling. Pidge nodded, eyes shut, tapping her foot, she placed her laptop on Lance’s bed.

“What are the chances?!” Pidge whispered. Lance had only just gotten over the cold look he got yesterday, and now that person was in his own home! Best friends with his new roommate. He didn’t think his luck could get any worse. He paced the room.

“I can’t ever leave my room ever again!” Lance cried dramatically. “He’s going to be in the same classroom as me! He’s gonna be hanging around here all the time! He’s best friends with our new roommate! He works at my favourite coffee shop! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!" 

Keith had now moved to the sofa, he could hear everything Lance was saying and he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. Hunk glanced at him sympathetically. 

“Maybe I should just go.” Keith stood, his face stoic. “I’ve already made him hate me completely, I can’t exactly come back from this.”

“No, please don’t go!” Hunk pleaded, standing and placing his hands on Keith’s shoulders. “It’s been too long since I saw you! I don’t want you to go!”  
Keith looked from Hunk to the kitchen door. 

“I’m really not welcome here, and I feel really uncomfortable.” Keith mumbled quietly. Hunk’s arms dropped.

“Okay.” Hunk responded. He didn’t move to show Keith out. Keith glanced at the door that Lance had disappeared behind, he kind of wished that he had the guts to explain, to try and make things right, instead he just walked.


	3. Pot Kettle Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Look Keith.” He started, a fist clenching. “We’re trying to make the effort for our new roommate to get along with you, and you’re acting like you would rather be anywhere else.” Keith’s eyes locked with Lance's.
> 
> “So if that’s the case, and you’re not willing to make any effort. Then just go.” Lance seethed. He couldn’t see why Keith couldn’t just give them a chance. Without a word, Keith stood up and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is posting all this so terrifying?!  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder

“Guys, please come out!” Hunk complained at the door. Lance rubbed his face. “He’s gone.” Lance stood up and opened the door. Hunk’s face nearly broke his heart.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you guys had met before!” Hunk exclaimed, clutching his hands to his chest. “I’m really sorry he made a bad first impression, he’s really nice once you get to know him!”

Hunk glanced at Lance, a light pink flushing his face. Lance was so embarrassed. Embarrassed that this could affect him so much.

“I’m so sorry bro!” Hunk launched in and wrapped Lance up in his arms. “Please don’t look like that! You’re killing me! I swear he didn’t mean it! It’s just how he is” Lance grimaced from the tightness of the hug.

"He looked as though I'd climbed out of the sewer or something," Lance pouted. "No one just looks like that."

“Please give him another chance!” Hunk cried, dropping Lance. “I swear he’s cool once you get to know him! He’s just a little defensive at first, he doesn't know that he's coming across as rude.”

Lance and Pidge exchanged a look. Pidge shrugged.

“When will he be next working at the shop?” Pidge cocked her head to the side, unfolding her arms and placing one hand on her hip.

“Uh… tomorrow I think?” Hunk tapped his face in thought.

“We’ll go and see him then, and he can try and make a better impression.” Pidge nodded, she looked at Lance who did not look okay with this at all. “If he’s rude, we’ll just have to be rude back, see if he can take it as much as he dishes it out.”

“It’s a date!”

 

Keith barrelled through the door and groaned loudly. Shiro looked up at him from the sofa, already looking exasperated.

“Keith? I thought you were seeing Hunk?” Shiro asked, confused. He had finally sat down with a cold one and a crappy tv show, waiting for Allura to arrive.

“I’m sorry, I know Allura is coming over, but you know that guy you were talking to at the counter yesterday?” Keith plopped down on the sofa next to him.

“Lance?” Shiro responded, wide-eyed.

“Hunks roommate.” Keith whimpered. Shiro laughed loudly. Keith glanced up at him, shocked.

“Oh, my god. You have the worst luck.” Shiro creased up, jokingly wiping a tear from his eye. “Why don’t you just talk to him?”

“Because,” Keith muttered “That ‘look’ I gave him, apparently came off as more ‘I fucking hate you’”

“Oh man, you should have practised a little more in the mirror!” Shiro creased up again. Keith groaned.

“And now, he definitely hates me.” Keith whined into his hands. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!”

“Make amends? Start again?” Shiro suggested, nudging Keith gently. Keith shook his head, defeated.

“I don’t know if I can.”

His phone buzzed in his pocket, looking at it there was a text from Hunk.

Hunk_ Hey bro are u working tomorrow?! I've convinced them to give you another shot

“Shiro? Am I on shift tomorrow?” Keith asked, only half paying attention.

“No, because you’re supposed to start studying.” Shiro replied sternly.

“I’m gonna work anyways.”

Lance was awoken with a start.

“LAAAAAAAANCE!” The sound like a cat screaming came through the door. Lance groaned in response.

“COFFEEE TIIIIIIIIIME!” Pidge mewed back. Scratching at the door. Lance groaned, a sick feeling in his stomach. He stood up and opened the door. Pidge was squatting next to the door, a grin on her face.

“What are you smiling about?” Lance cocked an eyebrow.

“Nothing, nothing at all.” Pidge grinned.

Lance threw on some clothes and tidied his hair up, he, Pidge and Hunk left the apartment and started the trek to Shiro’s coffee shop. Pidge and Hunk were chatting animatedly as if nothing had happened, Lance’s stomach continued to drop. By the time they reached the shop he had lost his appetite completely. Keith was stood at the end of the counter, leaning against the surface with his chin in his hand. Shiro was serving customers with a huge smile on his face, friendly as always. When they entered the shop Lance noticed suddenly that Keith was talking to someone, Lance spotted her and his stomach dropped once more.

“Hey, it’s Allura!” Pidge exclaimed happily, waving her hand at the woman. She waved back, a smile gracing her lips. Lance couldn’t believe he had never seen her before, she was in another league of cute.

“I told you man!” Hunk elbowed him laughing. Lance straightened out his spine and puffed up his chest, and immediately strided over to Allura and Keith.

“Hey Lance! Long time no see!” Allura greeted happily, she knew who he was then. Her beautiful white hair was plaited to the side in a fishtail, tied with a beautiful black ribbon, she just oozed sophistication in such a casual manner.

“Allura, so good to see you again,” He responded suavely. His confidence was back and tenfold, he’d almost forgotten that Keith was even there. Or had he? “You’re looking as stunning as ever.”

“Oh Lance!” Allura sighed, shaking her head. “Don’t act like we’ve met, I know who you are, you however, have never seen me before.”

Lance hung his head, defeated.

“I can’t believe I missed you!” Lance moaned, grabbing her hands in his in a pleading motion. Keith looked taken aback, he then turned on his heel and walked away. “I can’t believe I missed my shot with the world’s most beautiful woman!” Allura tutted and shook her head.

“Stop, you’re gonna make Shiro jealous.” Allura motioned with her head. Shiro was looking over with an amused smirk on his face. He immediately dropped her hands. “He’ll kick you out and ban you if you try to kiss me.” 

“Yeah I can see that happening.” Lance muttered. “I’d better get to ordering before I ask you to be my wife.” Allura laughed and he moped back to Hunk and Pidge. Hunk was eyeing him warily, Lance cocked an eyebrow at him, Hunk quickly resumed smiling as if nothing happened and Pidge was chuckling darkly. 

“You’re the luckiest man in the world.” Lance muttered after ordering, Shiro chuckled in agreement and set about making their drinks.

“Hey, Keith is on break so he’s gonna join us for a drink.” Hunk grinned, snatching up their drinks after they’d been made, Lance had grabbed a cinnamon roll for some breakfast as they made their way to a table. It was the first time Lance and Pidge had stayed for their drinks, usually they grabbed and left. 

“Okay.” Lance said coolly. He was feeling cocky and confident, he thrived off flirting with people, and it was the first time he’d done it in a long time. There was something about paying people compliments and making them feel good about themselves that he enjoyed. Even if other people thought he was being a slime. It was never like that. Pidge leant back and smiled, it had been a long time since she’d seen Lance exude this kind of confidence. They sat and talked for a while, Lance noticed Keith sheepishly making his way over, his hair was scruffy and his apron was a mess, and his face was exceptionally red. His lips cracked slightly into the beginnings of a smile and suddenly faltered when he glanced at the table.

“Hey Keith.” Lance motioned to the seat next to him, the only free one. Keith faltered for a moment and then sat down. “We were never properly introduced. The name’s Lance.” He held out his hand for Keith to shake. Keith coughed and put down his drink, he took Lances hand and quickly shook it before grabbing his coffee once more. Looking more uncomfortable by the second. Lance ripped apart a piece of his cinnamon roll, Keith seemed to be watching him.

“I’m Pidge.” She also extended a hand, and again he shook it quickly. The table fell silent. Everything suddenly felt very tense. And Lance was getting pissed off with it.

“Look Keith.” He started, a fist clenching. “We’re trying to make the effort for our new roommate to get along with you, and you’re acting like you would rather be anywhere else.” Keith’s eyes locked with Lances.

“So if that’s the case, and you’re not willing to make any effort. Then just go.” Lance seethed. He couldn’t see why Keith couldn’t just give them a chance. Without a word, Keith stood up and left.

“Keith! Wait!” Hunk called out.

Keith didn’t really know where he was going. Why did he care so much? They literally met two days ago. Why did he care so much? It was just some guy! Some roommates of his best friend. Why could he not just get over this? And why the heck, did Lance take the last freaking cinnamon roll?! He threw his coffee in the bin and just kept walking.

The sun was starting to set when he got back to the coffee shop, Shiro was inside, leaning on the counter and flirting with Allura, totally happy. Why couldn’t he be like that? He pushed the door open, Shiro and Allura both glanced at him, sympathy in their eyes. He hated it.

“Don’t look at me like that. I don’t care. He’s just some asshole that lives with Hunk.” He muttered. Shiro and Allura looked at each other knowingly.

“Stop it okay?!” He yelled. Fury in his blood. He hated it, like they had some secret. “I’m not a fucking child.” He stormed out of the room. He stomped up the stairs and into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. Okay, maybe he was being a child but he was so angry, angry with himself, angry with Hunk for living with those people, angry at Lance for being so goddamn flirty with Allura, angry at Pidge for being so passive and smirky. Who was he kidding hoping he’d finally have found a good group of friends he could rely on. He laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Breathing through his anger, he slowly became exhausted and drifted off, dreaming of coffee and the colour blue.

It was Keith’s first day of class, and he had never felt so nervous. Not only was it the first day of classes more than halfway through the year, but it was a class with two people who really disliked him, and dislike spreads like wildfire. He was still amazed that Hunk enjoyed his company at all after the reputation he earned himself last time. He pulled on a black shirt and jeans, combed his fingers through his hair, his hand stopped at the length of hair at the back of his neck. A mullet? He locked eyes with himself, maybe he should get a haircut.

The walk to his classroom felt long, Hunk had insisted that they meet at his apartment and walk together, but Keith couldn’t face Lance and Pidge so early in the morning. He got so lost. When he finally happened across his classroom and walked in, he spotted Pidge and Hunk sat together in the corner, listening intently. He quietly made his way over and shyly sat down next to Hunk. Pidge sent him a smile and passed him a notebook and a pencil. Keith sighed in relief and sent her a nervous smile back. He suddenly noticed there was no sign of Lance, Keith made a note to ask Pidge after class. Hunk grinned happily and they all started making notes.

After their second lecture they were finally out on the quad, it was roasting in that pre-summer way. They really didn’t have long left before exams started, Keith and Hunk had a tonne of work to do. Pidge and Hunk invited Keith back to the apartment, he almost said no, but decided that if Lance had a problem it was two against one.

“Hey, Pidge.” Keith started, a little apprehensive. “Where was Lance? Is he okay? He wasn’t at lectures this morning.”

“That’s normal.” Pidge dismissed him. Unwilling to say anything else, which bothered him immensely. They arrived at the apartment and entered. It was silent, save for a gentle snoring coming from Lance’s room. Keith glanced at his watch, it was nearly 1pm. 

“Should we wake him?” Keith whispered. Pidge shook her head. They entered the living room and Pidge started boiling the kettle. The whistle of the kettle ended up being the thing that woke Lance up.

“Noodles! Yeah!” Lance yelled happily, wearing nothing but pyjama bottoms, Keith could see his tan torso. Lance busied himself preparing some instant ramen, completely blanking Keith’s presence. Suddenly he turned and locked eyes with Keith.

“Keith.” He smirked, a little guarded. “How’s it going?” He approached the breakfast bar, leaning against it and stirring his noodles. Keith stammered, feeling heat flushing through him.

“Uh. Fine.” He gulped. Suddenly feeling very on the spot and nervous. Pidge bustled around the kitchen making them coffee. Lance remained staring at him, after his noodles were ready he joined them on the sofa. Lance looked at him like he was testing him. Keith felt a huge lump in his throat, quietly sipped his instant coffee and pretended like Lance wasn’t there.

“How were classes this morning?” Lance broke the very tense silence. If Pidge and Hunk could sense the tension they didn’t make it obvious, they were smiling sweetly. Pidge handed Lance her notebook full of notes. Keith didn’t say anything, but it really rubbed him the wrong way. Did Lance think he could get by off someone else’s notes.

“Fine, but it’s sooo freaking hot in those class rooms!” Hunk moaned. “I can’t wait for summer break! Exams in those hot rooms are gonna suck so bad!” Lance chuckled. He glanced at Keith and carried on reading.

“How did you find your first day of classes, Keith?” Lance spoke again, it was like he was really trying to piss Keith off.

“Um. Fine. I uh… got lost.” Keith fumbled nervously. Lance laughed, and that REALLY rubbed Keith the wrong way. “What? It’s my first day!” 

“Not a great sense of direction for a future fighter pilot huh?” Lance smirked. Keith was so freaking confused, where was this cocky cheekiness coming from all of a sudden? Keith clenched his fists.

“That’s rich coming from someone who doesn’t even show up to their lectures.” Keith bit back, snarling a little. Lance’s eyes widened.

“Oh yeah?!” Lance stood up, gripping his ramen.

“Yeah.” Keith muttered, breathing and shutting his eyes. “I don’t know why you think you can get away with using someone else’s notes. It’s not exactly fair for Pidge to do all the hard work and you just skate by like you don’t give a shit.”

“If you care so much about honour and doing things right,” Lance muttered. “Why the heck did you get yourself and your ‘best friend’ kicked out of your last college?!”

Keith gulped. He glanced at Hunk, unaware that what happened was common knowledge. He was suddenly very hot. Hunk wouldn’t quite look him in the eyes.

“Ooo.” Lance smiled, very pleased with himself, stretching his lithe body. “Did I touch a nerve? Is it like the pot is calling the kettle black?”

“What the heck does that even mean?!” Keith yelled, exceptionally hot now. He kept having to tear his eyes away from Lance’s stomach. How did someone who slept in all day and ate crap like ramen look so fucking good.

“It means, Keith Kogane.” Lance gritted his teeth. “That you’re a fucking hypocrite. You don’t know anything about me.”

“Then stop pretending like you know anything about me!” Keith leapt up from the chair. Pidge grabbed onto the coffee table. Probably afraid that Keith might flip it. “Stop acting like you hate me when we’ve known each other for four fucking days! I’m sorry I made a bad impression, I’m sorry I made the wrong face! I don’t know how to do this!” 

“Do what?!” Lance gulped, his face now very pink. Keith bit his tongue, he’d said too much. So he did what he always does. Leaves.


	4. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Not yet!” Lance smiled softly. “But I can’t wait for the day we finally get to. I missed my chance, getting held back a year. But I’m gonna make it count this time.” Keith felt the heat rise into his face, it was so nice to see Lance being so genuine.
> 
> “And if I get the chance, I won’t blow it, like you did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short, I promise the next one will be nice and long  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder

“I don’t know how to do this!”

“Do what?!”

Pidge looked at Hunk, Hunk looked at Pidge. He thought this kind of stuff only happened in films. The total miss-communication between to people. You couldn’t make this shit up. Pidge rubbed her forehead in complete disbelief. Lance stormed out of the room. Hunk decided to change the subject, this didn't really have anything to do with him, and the cat was out of the bag now. 

“Wanna know why we got kicked out of our last college?” Hunk rubbed his hands together. Pidge nodded enthusiastically.

“So! As you can see, Keith is all or nothing, some things, like making coffee, he couldn’t care less about, but being a fighter pilot, I’ve never known anyone to care so much! So one day, he came up with a bright idea, he was gonna fly.”

Pidge gasped. Hunk was a good story teller.

“So, one night, while we were sleeping, he wakes up and starts getting dressed. Which wakes me up. Usually I’m a heavy sleeper, but something didn’t feel right.”  
Pidge wrapped her arms around her legs and clutched them close to her chest.

“I wake up, and Keith’s all-“Hunk’s face fell into a serious smoulder and he spoke in a deep, voice “-I’m going and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!” Pidge giggled and commended him for his flawless impression of Keith. “So I’m all, bro! I know I can’t stop you! But I’m not gonna let you go on your own either! Because I’m pretty heroic you know. So, the day before this we finally got shown around a real hangar, I really felt like Keith was so wrapped up in it, he was so excited and paying attention to everything. I then realised, he memorized every single code that the instructors used. So, we walk the 40 minutes to the hangar, he breaks the fuck in, we’re all dressed in black in case of cameras, he climbs into a fucking fighter jet, I clamber in the back seat and he goes all quiet. Like his confidence just completely goes. Then all of a sudden, these alarms start blaring, and we’re totally screwed, there’s nowhere we can go, nothing we can do, so we just sit there, and accept our fate.”

“Holy shit.” Pidge gasps. “You are so lucky you weren’t thrown in jail!” 

“I know right!” Hunk cried! “We’re so lucky that Keith was the best in the class, so instead we were held back a year and told to go to a different college. So we moved across the country, and now here we are.”

“Jeez, that’s insane dude!” Lance squealed, Hunk screamed, Lance was laid on the floor by the door with a hand either side of his face excitedly. “But you know, if it were me, I’d have just flown off.”

 

“Keiiiith.” Shiro groaned as Keith came storming into the coffee shop. “You’re supposed to be studying with your friends!”

“What friends.” Keith muttered angrily, still pissed that Hunk let slip their secret. 

“What happened?!” Shiro asked.

Keith explained the yelling, the secret getting slipped. The feeling of complete and utter betrayal by his best friend. Shiro shook his head, closing his eyes.

“Wow, I haven’t had as much drama in my entire life, as you’ve had in the last 4 days.” Shiro sighed. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“I don’t even want to think about it. I’m not working tonight, I’m studying.” Keith muttered, pushing the door open and stomping upstairs.

“Seriously, Keith.” Shiro held out an arm to stop him, his eyes serious. “You need to talk to him, be honest, apologise. You didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

Keith backed away from his touch, his eyes low. Why should he? Lance wouldn’t listen or care anyway. He disappeared through the back door and upstairs.

Shiro shrugged, sighed and then turned to greet the customer that had just entered.

 

Keith’s second day was just as tense as the first. He found his classroom much quicker and sat once more next to Hunk, but this time Lance was there, staring intently at the screen, scribbling down messy, un-organized notes. He smirked, he knew it was Lance just trying to prove him wrong, but he was just glad that he'd showed up.

Keith still hadn’t forgiven Hunk, it wasn’t until Pidge told him that she’d hacked into Hunk’s student information and found out about what had happened anyway, that they were both just pissed at Pidge, Lance chuckling away all the while.

Lance kept glancing at Keith and looking away quickly, as if trying to say ‘look I’m here, I’m better than you’. Keith wasn’t gonna let him get to him today. Lance reluctantly agreed to invite Keith back to the apartment. They made their way back and all sat around the coffee table, chatting easily and exchanging notes and stories.

“Have you guys ever flown?” Keith asked nonchalantly. Pidge pondered for a second nodded her head.

"I liked piloting, but I think I would prefer to be a technical engineer of some kind, or maybe a navigations officer, I’ve not decided yet.” Pidge responded, nodding her head, happy with her response.

“Not yet!” Lance smiled softly. “But I can’t wait for the day I finally pluck up the courage to. I missed my chance, getting held back a year. But I’m gonna make it count this time.” Keith felt the heat rise into his face, it was so nice to see Lance being so genuine.

“And if I get the chance, I won’t blow it, like you did.” Lance grinned up at Keith. So close, Keith thought, so close to being so sweet and genuine, all he could do is laugh exasperatedly. Lance beamed. Hunk and Pidge exchanged a look.

 

Lance didn’t know why, but he loved teasing Keith, in the same way that he loved teasing his family members and exes. He just loved making people laugh in that stupid way. The way that says ‘oh my god, you’re so annoying and adorable.’ He loved to get underneath peoples skin, just as much as he loved making people feel good about themselves.

“Gee Lance.” Keith looked at Hunk, who shrugged. Lance was like the cat that got the cream. He loved seeing Keith flustered and pink like that. 

“What about you Hunk?” Lance quickly changed the subject. Hunk shook his head, clutching his stomach.

“I’m gonna specialise in mechanical engineering and communication." Hunk affirmed. “The last time I went in a simulator and flew it, I was so sick, it was awful.”

“I can confirm that.” Keith chuckled. Hunk shook his head solemnly.

“Aw that’s too bad Hunk!” Lance sighed sympathetically. “Well, that’s just makes it you against me Keith, Lance and Keith, neck and neck!”

Lance had a huge grin on his face, Keith was looking at him the tiniest hint of a smirk on his lips. Lance suddenly noticed the colour of his eyes, the glossiness of his hair, heat rising in his face he sat up fully and coughed. Since when was Lance such a sap. He felt a tinge of embarrassment.

“Uh, I’m gonna go and order some pizza, everyone in?” Lance excused himself, Hunk and Pidge screamed with happiness as Lance disappeared down the hall. He entered his room and slumped down on his bed.

 

“He’s been gone for a while…” Keith mentioned, Hunk and Pidge were too busy discussing electronics to notice nearly half an hour had passed and Lance hadn’t come back.

“I hope he actually ordered pizza.” Hunk muttered under his breath. Keith stood up and started down the hall, Pidge and Hunk glanced at each other behind his back.

“Lance?” Keith called, slowly stepping down the hall towards his room. “Are you okay? Hunk’s wondering if you’d ordered pizza yet.”

No response, Keith slowly approached his door, pressing a hand against it, he could hear a quiet breathing behind the door.

“Lance?” Keith said quietly, knowing that he could probably hear him without yelling. “Everything okay buddy?” 

“JESUS KEITH!” Lance yelled. “Can’t a man use his bathroom without the constant interruption? And yes, I have ordered the pizza, thank you very much!”

“God, sorry.” Keith muttered, fist clenching against the door. “Just wanted to check on you, you’ve been gone for a while.”

“Oh come on Keith, don’t act like you care.” Lance’s voice was quiet.

“You’re right. I guess I don’t. Sorry.” Keith stepped away and went back to the living room. Hunk and Pidge were still deep in conversation. Keith slumped down on the sofa puffing his hair out of his face. “He ordered the pizza.”

Lance was staring at the door as he heard Keith walk away, taking in a deep breath and turned back to staring at the ceiling. Keith was his mortal enemy, he wasn't cute, he didn't have beautiful eyes and glossy hair. He was his rival, and nothing would change this resentment he felt for him.


	5. Summer Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Everything ok?” Keith smiled, he was now dishing up eggs, bacon and toast and Lance was suddenly sad and in need of comfort food.
> 
> “No, that was my mom, they’re not going to be able to come and collect me today.” Lance started sadly, Keith laid a plate of food out in front of him, Lance accepted gratefully. “She said that there’s a problem with the car so they can’t collect me.”
> 
> “That’s too bad, buddy.” Keith almost reached out to touch Lance’s shoulder, and suddenly stopped. “Hey… I could uh, drive you down there if you wanted me to?”

It had been two weeks, two weeks of hard work. Two weeks of Hunk and Keith catching up on a year’s worth of work. Two weeks of Keith being in the apartment constantly. Lance noticed that Keith was now wearing his hair tied up at the back, on anyone else it would have been ridiculous, but on Keith it looked unbelievably cute. Lance was still very much wrestling with himself. He and Keith were on good terms, but whenever Keith was getting a little too cute, a little too over familiar, Lance felt the need to distance himself. This was his rival, not his friend.

Lance had worked so hard to get through his course, he was desperate to be a fighter pilot, to go out and do all those amazing things so many of his heroes had done in the past, when he was told that he’d failed, after all the hard work he’d put in, he really struggled to come to terms with it. Being held back a year was humiliating. He still saw some of his classmates on the quad, some stopped to ask what happened, so he took to just blanking them completely. Soon he was too embarrassed to go to classes at all for fear of bumping into someone he knew. He lucked out when he was put in an apartment with Pidge, all the intelligence of an aeronautical engineer, Lance lapped up the fact that Pidge was so helpful when she kept offering to give him her notes. Her notes were so informed and detailed it was like he was at the lectures the whole time. It helped knowing that no one else in his class wanted to be fighter pilot class, until Keith turned up. First of all it killed him that a cute guy immediately disliked him, and then it hurt even more when he found out that not only was Keith in his class, but also had the capacity to be a first class fighter pilot, without even really trying. It wasn’t as if he’d been held back because he’d failed, like Lance had. He was given another shot on the pure merit of his talent, a get out of jail free card. Lance had no chance, he so desperately wanted to do well, and Keith strode onto the scene, natural talent and instincts making him already the teachers favourite. He was amazingly unpopular with students on account of his complete lack of social skills, and he couldn’t help but think that maybe everyone in the class was a little jealous of this prodigy.  
Keith, Hunk and Pidge, would make the perfect team. They were all so strong in their fields, Hunk was an immensely impressive mechanic and even better people person, and Pidge knew everything there was to know about navigation and working with technology. Lance was just kind of there. He didn’t have much to contribute, he was decent enough with the knowledge, but had never had the chance to find out in practice. He skipped every single simulator. He didn’t want his complete lack of skill to be confirmed to not only him, but everybody else in his class. He was terrified of failing, this was his dream.

“Lance? Hey? Lance? What did you want to order?” Keith waved his hands, Lance leapt out of his day-dreaming stupor and looked up.

“You really have to ask?” Lance laughed, Keith shrugged and turned, starting to make Lance’s drink. His order was always the same. Lance moved and waited at the end of the counter, watching Keith get to work. Lance knew that Keith hated working at the coffee shop, but he’d developed a knack for preparing coffee, like he did with everything, he just picked it up. Keith finished with his latte art and spun around, smiling, presenting Lance with a tiny cat face in his cup.

“Cute.” Lance pursed his lips. Keith faltered for a second, embarrassed, so he stirred the milk. Lance nearly stopped him.

“Hey, um are you gonna be at the apartment this weekend?” Keith started, Lance looked at him, like there was anywhere else he’d be. “Well, I wanted to make you guys’ dinner to say thank-you.”

Ugh, so the guy could cook too.

“Thank you for what?” Lance groaned, louder and more obviously than he would have liked. Keith gulped.

“I dunno, for helping me to settle in?” Keith shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck, once more his hair was tied up in a little ponytail. “I know we didn’t get off to the greatest start, and I know you don’t like me… but I appreciate you guys for helping me, I mean Hunk and I, get to terms with everything, it’s not been easy.”

“I guess you’re welcome.” Lance raised an eyebrow dismissively. “Fine, as long as whatever you cook doesn’t give me food poisoning.”

“Cool, well I’m just about to finish my shift, I’ll head to the shops and grab some ingredients and head over!” Keith beamed. Lance struggled to not smile back, he was so cute. Keith had started out as such an asshole, but it seemed that Hunk was right. Keith was really sweet once you got to know him, he just wasn’t very good at initial impressions and introductions. Apparently he made a lot of faces he didn’t mean to, which explained the stink eye he gave Lance when they first met. Lance had to wonder what kind of face he was supposed to be making, but didn’t quite have the balls to ask him.

“It’s weird to think that we’re going to be finished soon.” Lance commented, letting his mind wander. “We’ll be going back home, I’m gonna miss the apartment.”  
“Yeah, I’ll just be staying here, with Shiro.” Keith laughed bashfully. “Now that Allura’s moved in, I feel like I’m intruding. Shiro insists that it’s okay and that they don’t mind, but it must be difficult.”

Lance had never thought about Keith’s family, nor bothered to ask. Lance had a gigantic family, there was always so much chaos going on, especially with all the kids on summer break too, Lance missed them dreadfully but sometimes it was nice to have some peace and quiet. He wondered if Keith had any brothers or sisters, he didn’t behave like he had siblings. Typical only child.

“You won’t be seeing your parents?” Lance asked casually. He didn’t expect Keith to chuckle so sadly, to rub the back of his neck and not make eye-contact.

“Uh... no.” Keith responded mysteriously. Lance quirked an eyebrow at him, confused. “I don’t know my parents.” Lance’s stomach dropped, he’d really dropped himself in it now.

“Oh, okay. So, uh... how do you know Shiro?” Lance asked, remembering that Shiro said he was an old family friend.

“Shiro’s family fostered me for a while.” Keith shrugged, a little embarrassed. “I’m lucky that Shiro even talks to me after the way I behaved when I was younger.”

Lance could imagine, a rebellious child, never wanted to go to school. Getting into fights, running away constantly, coming home covered in cuts and bruises.

“I’ll bring you home to my mom one day.” Lance said without really realising what it was he’d said. “I mean y’know.” He didn’t have any way of recovering. Keith was dusted pink on his cheeks. Lance told himself not to read too much into that. “I mean all of you guys! You should come and visit, we love having visitors, my mom makes the best food, she’d be thrilled for you guys to come!”

Keith laughed, flushing slightly. Lance shook his head to get rid of the embarrassment he was feeling. Lance rubbed his forehead, took a sip of his drink and walked out.  
“I’ll see you later at the apartment?” Keith yelled at the closing doors. Lance raised an arm in response.

 

Keith hung up his apron on the door behind the coffee counter, Shiro was wiping down the counter and humming a tune.

“Hey, Shiro,” Keith said, Shiro turned and smiled at him happily. “Are you sure you’re okay with me staying here over summer break?”

“Hey, it’s not like you have anywhere else to go.” Shiro smiled, shrugging his shoulders. Keith blew his bangs off of his forehead, pretending not to be put out by Shiro’s pretty non-committal response. Keith said his goodbyes and headed off to the store, grabbing some ingredients for dinner and a couple of drinks before heading over to the apartment. It was strange, it kind of felt like his second home and yet he’d never thought to cook there before. Hunk offered to help him prepare so they set to work.

 

Lance washed his face and pulled on a t-shirt without really thinking about it. He left his bedroom and walked towards the kitchen, he could hear Pidge, Hunk and Keith all chatting away amicably. Lance wandered in and was so amazed by what he saw. Pidge was talking animatedly at the breakfast bar, Hunk, who was supposed to be helping cook was leant against the other side of the breakfast bar, seemingly deep in conversation. And Keith, well he had that face on, the face he had in lectures, in exams. The face of pure determination and concentration, he looked flawless. Mouth drawn into a thin line, eyebrows very slightly creasing in the middle, his ponytail tied to the nape of his neck. He was slicing some tomatoes very thinly and expertly. Lance’s stomach filled with something, he told himself it was annoyance, yet another thing that Keith was obviously naturally talented at.

“Hey Lance!” Hunk smiled as he entered the room, then stopped as his eyes dropped to Lance’s shirt. Lance cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Uh… hey, isn’t that…” Pidge started with a huge grin on her face. “Isn’t that, Keith’s shirt?”

Keith’s attention was suddenly pulled away from cooking as they all stared Lance down with pointed expressions. He glanced down himself and realised that yes, this was in fact one of Keith’s shirt. Lance looked up and made eye-contact with Keith, who looked an entirely new shade of red. He looked pissed.

“Hey, why have you got Keith’s shirt?” Hunk asked, trying to stifle his laughter. “Hey Keith, why has Lance got your shirt?” Keith spluttered, Lance could only imagine the rage coursing through his veins.

“Hey! It was obviously an accident, you must have left it here for whatever reason and it must have gotten mixed up with my stuff!” Lance shrugged, trying to stop his embarrassment from showing. “I’ll just take it off and you can have it back.” He moved to start pulling off the shirt and Keith made inaudible noises.

“J-just keep it for gods’ sake!” Keith had turned around and returned to his slicing, only now he wasn’t so precise with his cuts.

“No, it’s fine, I’ll just take it off and put it in the laundry.” Lance huffed, yanking it off and gathering it up in a ball. “God forbid I get your stink on me.” Keith didn’t respond, Lance glanced from Hunk to Pidge who were having the best time apparently. He flipped them both the finger, flung the shirt into the laundry bin and returned to his room to change.

 

Hunk and Pidge fell silent and turned to Keith slowly, who was shaking and trying to slice tomatoes without slicing his fingers in the process. Keith was in some serious trouble, his belly hadn’t stopped flipping since Lance walked in wearing his shirt. Lance’s skin had become extremely tan thanks to the warmth at this time of year, when they weren’t in the apartment, at the coffee shop or in lectures they were walking outside in the sunshine. Keith was exceptionally pasty, and didn’t take the sun nicely, so always looked washed out in his own clothing. Lance however could not have looked cuter, especially in something that belonged to Keith, he was so hot and red and really hoped that no one could notice how embarrassed and flushed he was. He was so flustered that he couldn't even piece together the turn of events that meant he left a t-shirt there.

“Yo, Keith…” Hunk touched his shoulder making him jump. “You okay?” So much for getting away with people not noticing, and now he had cut his finger open. He turned and watched the blood flow down his finger and to his wrist. “Oh shit, Keith I’m so sorry!” Hunk’s face went white at the sight of blood and he backed away, Pidge almost did the same.

“Somebody fucking help me!” Keith exclaimed. Pidge and Hunk both shook their heads, backing away closer to the living room.

“What’s all the commotion?!” Lance exclaimed, walking in whilst pulling on a shirt, Keith could see his stomach, great, now he felt even more faint. Lance’s eyes widened at the stream of blood pouring down Keith’s arm. “Oh shit. Come here.” Keith made a move to walk towards him, but suddenly felt very dizzy, the combination of Lance’s toned stomach and the blood pouring from his finger was going to send him toppling, Lance suddenly appeared at his side, an arm round his waist supporting him. He smelt like something that Keith couldn’t quite put his finger on, but he enjoyed it none the less. Lance was saying soothing things as he gently helped Keith to the floor, he lifted Keith’s arm to stop the blood from flowing and set about cleaning it up and applying a plaster, once he was finished he gently brought Keith’s arm back down.

“Wow, Lance that was incredible.” Hunk gushed. Lance slumped down next to Keith and admired his handiwork.

“That’s what happens when you have as many siblings as I do.” He smiled gently. Keith felt dizzy all over again. “They were always getting grazes and cutting themselves, so I just got over it and helped where I could.”

“Thank you, Lance.” Keith stammered quietly. Lance coughed and stood up, a little pink. He extended a hand out towards Keith and helped pull him up.

“Don’t thank me yet, you’ve still got to finish dinner.” Lance laughed, spinning Keith around and helping mop up the blood.

 

Keith made Burritos, which for some reason Lance was not expecting, and they were exceptionally good. The vegetables were crunchy and tasted fresh and the meat was full of flavour. Lance had inhaled about four and was now sat contented on the sofa, watching television. Keith was next to him, nursing his hand and falling asleep, his head very close to Lance’s shoulder. Pidge and Hunk were playing a card game totally distracted. Lance surveyed the scene and suddenly felt very sad, he was really going to miss this. As much as he loved his family and couldn’t wait to see them, he knew that he would miss this just the same, this was his little family. Even Keith, reluctantly. Suddenly there was a gentle weight on his shoulder, Keith had slipped and was now sleeping soundly on Lance’s shoulder. Heat rose in his cheeks once more, everything within him said shake him off, tell him to go home, but something deep inside kept him glued to the seat, he prayed with everything in him that Pidge and Hunk wouldn’t notice, and if they did they wouldn’t say anything, Lance could feel himself start to get a little sleepy. He knew he couldn’t fall asleep like this, but Keith was radiating heat onto his shoulder and it was so comforting. His eyes started drooping more and more, the television grew quieter and as did Pidge and Hunk, who were giggling quietly, and then within seconds he was gone.

Lance awoke with a start and a crick in his neck. He sat up when he realised he was in his bed, what happened, he definitely fell asleep with Keith leant against him on the sofa, did that not happen? Did he dream that? He glanced at his clock and jumped up with a start, he only had an hour before his family would be here to collect him, and he had packed absolutely nothing. It wasn’t such a huge problem because Pidge would be here over the summer and could look after his stuff, there was just a tonne of things he wanted to take home. He set to work shoving clothes and toiletries into a bag in preparation. He hadn’t noticed the 13 missed calls glowing on his phone screen. He finished packing what he could and went to the kitchen. Keith was there, rubbing his eyes and frying eggs.

“God do you never stop?” Lance moaned walking in and flopping down onto a stool in front of the breakfast bar, directly in front of Keith. Keith stopped and flushed pink, rubbing the back of his neck. Lance thought about mentioning last night, maybe Keith woke up embarrassed and put Lance to bed, Lance wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about that.

“Uh, I don’t know?” Keith laughed nervously. “I just thought everyone would want breakfast.”

“You know I would, but my parents are going to be here to collect me in…” He reached for his phone and realised he didn’t have it, he wandered back to his bedroom and picked it up, suddenly realising that he now had 14 missed called, all from his mom. His stomach dropped and he called her back.

“Hola my love!” His mom answered, sounding exceptionally flustered.

“Hola mama! You’ve tried to call me several times, is everything okay?” Lance sat down on his bed a little nervous.

“I’m so sorry my darling, but we’re not going to be able to come and collect you today!” Lances stomach fell. “We’ve had to put the car in the shop so we don’t have a way of getting to you!”

“Oh mama, you should have said, I would’ve gotten the train or something!” Lance muttered, a little sad.

“Oh my love, I’m so sorry I should have called yesterday!” She sighed down the phone, sensing his disappointment. “It just seemed like you were having such a good time with all your friends, I thought you’d be happy to stay a little longer, and there’s no way you’re sitting on a train for upwards of 8 hours on your own!”

“I mean yeah, I am having fun.” Lance replied. “But I miss you all so much, I was just so excited to see you all! And I would be fine on the train… just really REALLY bored.”

“I know my love, we’ll work something out! I must go, I’m in the middle of making everyone breakfast, I’ll call you in a couple of days when we’ve sorted the car.”

“Ok, love you.”

“Love you too my sweet.”

Lance moped out of his bedroom after pouring his clothes back into the drawers they once were. Keith glanced up, he looked ashamed, as if he’d heard the whole conversation.

“Everything ok?” Keith smiled, he was now dishing up eggs, bacon and toast and Lance was suddenly sad and in need of comfort food.

“No, that was my mom, they’re not going to be able to come and collect me today.” Lance started sadly, Keith laid a plate of food out in front of him, Lance accepted gratefully. “She said that there’s a problem with the car.”

“That’s too bad, buddy.” Keith almost reached out to touch Lance’s shoulder, and suddenly stopped. “Hey… I could uh, drive you down there if you wanted me to?” Lance looked up with egg halfway out of his mouth.

“Really?” Lance smiled, slopping egg out of his mouth and onto his plate, he was just so excited. 

“Uh… yeah.” Keith laughed. “I have a car I haven’t used since I got here, everything is just so convenient so I’ve been walking everywhere. How far away is home?” 

“It’s a couple of hours away… it’d be a long road trip.” Lance leant back in his chair, thinking about upwards of 6 hours with just Keith, in a hot car, for six hours. He gulped and flushed quietly.

“It’s fine, I’m happy to drive you if you need me to…” Keith smiled sweetly. Red lights and alarm bells went off in Lance’s head. That was too long for just the two of them to be together, they’d get hot and bothered and tired and say things they shouldn’t be saying.

“HEY! We should invite Hunk and Pidge! Pidge’s dad and brother are far away researching and Hunk won’t go back home till Christmas time, ‘cause it’s too far to go y’know!” Lance exclaimed, Keith looked away thoughtfully.

“If you want…” Keith hesitated.

“Yeah, I want!” Lance exclaimed a little too loudly. “Six hours with you on your own, I couldn’t imagine anything worse, at least if Pidge and Hunk are there we won’t want to kill each other-“ or something else beginning with K “by th-the end of it.”

“Right…” Keith trailed off, cleaning up the pots and pans he'd used to cook. Lance gulped, finished his breakfast and stood up.

“Um… by the way.” Lance stretched his arm up and around the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m sorry about your shirt… it was an accident and you looked pretty pissed about it so… I’m sorry if I crossed a line.”

Keith shoulders lifted and he froze still. Lance sighed, he was obviously not over it and super uncomfortable about the whole thing.

“Really… I don’t-didn’t mind…” Keith was still facing away, but now he was holding his cut finger. “To be honest it looked better on your than it ever did on me. You might as well keep it.”

Lance gulped and pulled himself away, Keith was looking fondly at his plaster and looked so adorable and vulnerable. He made his way down the corridor and stood outside Hunk and Pidge’s bedrooms.

“GUYS! ROAD TRIIIIIIIP!” He yelled. Pidge groaned loudly and Hunk whooped enthusiastically. Lance quickly called his mom to let her know the plan, she was thrilled to hear that he’d be bringing some friends with him. They decided all together to leave first thing the next day, so they had time to get some travel snacks, packs some bags and get the car ready. Lance was a little sad that the stay would be a little shorter than he’d intended, but he couldn’t wait to show his friends the beach he used to go to as a kid, and introduce them to his entire family.

He imagined in his head Keith with his little ponytail helping his mother prep and cook dinner, chatting happily and getting along famously, Lance’s mother had experience dealing with people who had trouble socially. He imagined Keith at the beach burning his pasty skin in the sunshine, he imagined trying to show Pidge and Keith how to surf and them both failing pathetically. Lance might find something that Keith was actually terrible at. And then he thought about Keith topless on the beach and stopped thinking.

That night he fell asleep dreaming of the colour purple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roooad triiiiip  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	6. The Colour of the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jesus Christ if I’d have known you’d been so jealous I wouldn’t have spoken to him.” Lance muttered, his cheeks red.
> 
> “I DON’T CARE YOU WHO TALK TO! I’M NOT JEALOUS!” Keith lied. Lied through gritted teeth. “Just stop being so FUCKING selfish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is cheesy and self-indulgent, forgive me!

Keith awoke the next day to Shiro knocking on his door, he sat up and rubbed his face clumsily, he was so tired. He was still suffering after the night falling asleep on Lance’s shoulder. They had fallen asleep watching television, Pidge and Hunk took pictures and ran away. Keith woke up a couple of hours later as his sleep was always pretty disturbed and realised what happened. He knew that Lance would be mortified if they’d woken up like that and probably never speak to him again, so Keith slipped his arms underneath Lance’s sleeping form and carried him to bed. He kept whispering ‘don’t wake up don’t wake up’ under his breath, if he thought Lance would be mortified waking up with Keith on him, imagine how he’d be waking up in Keith’s arms like he was now. Keith opened Lance’s bedroom door with his foot and gently placed him in the bed and tucked him in. He stopped and looked at Lance’s sleeping form, his mouth slightly open and drooling, he was completely adorable, and generally just more bearable while asleep. He started making noises and Keith quickly left, he didn’t want to be privy to whatever dreams Lance might be having, so he went back to the sofa and laid down, clinging on to the feeling of holding Lance in his arms, his chest hurt and he tried to fall asleep.

 

“Keith, time to get up, everyone’s here!” Shiro tapped politely on the door. When he found out that Keith was going away for a couple of days, Shiro immediately decided to shut shop so that he and Allura could go and do something, owning a coffee shop meant that you had little to no time away from it, he’d put a poster in the window and promised 20% off coffee when they re-opened, it was just too good an opportunity to miss. 

Keith stretched and climbed out of bed, he slowly dressed and combed his fingers through his hair, gathering the length at the back of his hair in a small ponytail. He grabbed his bag and headed out the door, everyone was sat in the living room chatting, Lance was half asleep on the sofa, his bag perched on his lap.

“Morning, everyone.” Keith greeted, quickly grabbing a cup of instant coffee and downing it, everyone responded in kind and they got ready to leave. They had to wake Lance up and told him to get in the car, he was the first one allowed in the back to sleep and he fell asleep on Hunk who was looking at his sleeping form as fondly as Keith did the other night. Pidge was chatting away, excited about going to visit the beach and see some proper sunshine, Keith listened attentively and responded when needed. 

Lance slowly but surely started to wake, Keith watched him in the rear-view mirror as he yawned and rubbed his eyes. He was so cute, Lance caught his eye in the mirror and Keith very quickly looked away, feeling as though he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. When he looked back Lance was looking out the window, but his cheeks were flushing pink. He really didn’t like to be looked at when he wasn’t paying attention. Keith made sure to remember that, he didn’t want to get too carried away with whatever these feelings were and make him uncomfortable. 

“Jeez, how long have we been driving for?” Lance asked groggily, Pidge turned around in her seat to talk to him.

“I’d say about an hour and a half.” Pidge responded, adjusting her glasses. “It doesn’t feel like it’s been too long actually. Usually road trips are unbearable.”

“Ugh, I was hoping I’d have slept through a little more than an hour and a half.” Lance sighed, fluffing his sleep-ridden hair. “Thanks for being such a great pillow, buddy.”

“Don’t mention it.” Hunk responded fondly. Pidge smirked at Hunk who smirked back. Lance shook his head, it was like they all had some inside joke that Keith didn’t know about.

A couple more hours passed and they stopped for a toilet break and to refuel. They stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, it was starting to get hotter the closer they got to Lance’s home town. Both Hunk and Lance had shed one layer, Lance was in a sleeve-less blue top and Keith had to force himself not to stare at his arms in the sunshine. Keith was having a nightmare.

Keith went into the gas station to grab some water, Lance followed him inside and suddenly spotted something over the other side of the shop, behind the counters. Keith made his way to the refrigerators, opening the refrigerated doors made a burst of cool air bathed Keith’s skin, he stood there for a couple of seconds enjoying it, he grabbed four bottles and made his way to the counter where Lance was stood, with a huge shit-eating grin on his face. Keith realised what it was that Lance had spotted, blonde hair and blue eyes, gorgeous tan skin. Lance was chatting away confidently, the guy behind the counter seemed to be enjoying it thoroughly, he looked amused almost, like nothing exciting had happened for weeks and suddenly Lance happened. Keith sucked in a big breath and waited, Lance was talking away, a flirty lilt to his voice, he looked like he was having the best time. Keith coughed impatiently, the guy behind the counter looked up from Lance and blushed.

“Oh, sorry sir, one second.” The guy apologised casually, turned and quickly scribbled something down on some paper, and handed it to Lance. Lance grinned, pocketed the piece of paper and sauntered out, but not before giving Keith a challenging look. Keith stomach felt like it was in his throat, he quickly paid for the water, trying not to make eye contact with the guy behind the counter and walked out quickly. He got in the car, trying his hardest not to look at anyone, or make it obvious that he was a combination of heartbroken and pissed, and sped off. The atmosphere in the car was very tense, Hunk was now in the passenger seat next to Keith, Pidge was fast asleep and Lance was whistling away, seemingly oblivious to the vibe in the car.

“Hey Keith, are you okay?” Hunk finally said, Keith just gulped and nodded his head.

“I know what’s wrong with him.” Lance said in a sing-song voice. Keith’s insides went cold, he almost clenched his eyes shut and wished for the ground to swallow him whole but he was driving.

“What is it Lance?!” Keith hissed. “What pearls of wisdom do you have for us today? What is it that you think is wrong with me?”

“You’re pissed because it got that guy’s number and you didn’t.” Lance laughed in response, enjoying the fact that Keith was so pissed.

“AH! Yes, blondie.” Keith exclaimed sarcastically, Hunk slowly shook his head. “I literally couldn’t give any great fucks about who you get phone numbers from, that guy could have not been any less my type. I’m pissed that you felt it appropriate to talk for twenty fucking minutes, making us wait for you, when I am driving you home out of the kindness of my fucking heart. And you couldn’t be any less ungrateful for it!” Hunk had a hand pressed against his head, he’d not heard Keith talk like this in a very long time.

“Jesus Christ if I’d have known you’d been so jealous I wouldn’t have spoken to him.” Lance muttered, his cheeks red.

“I DON’T CARE YOU WHO TALK TO! I’M NOT JEALOUS!” Keith lied. Lied through gritted teeth. “Just stop being so FUCKING selfish.” 

“Jeez! Okay, I’m sorry, Keith!” Lance apologised in a screeching voice. Keith breathed heavily, Lance was right, Keith was so incredibly jealous but not of Lance. He suddenly was replaying the day that they met over and over again, how, had Keith gone so wrong. The minute he saw Lance he desperately wanted to talk to him, to make a good impression, but Keith didn’t do good impressions. He was stand-offish and defensive, he’d tried to smile, to look interested, but he ended up making an enemy in two seconds. He regretted that every day that he knew Lance, because for as annoying and obnoxious as he was, Keith was just drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. But he couldn’t say anything, Lance would either flat out reject him, which Keith couldn’t cope with, or actually make fun of him for it. The rest of the journey passed with near silence, the crackling radio in the background. Pidge woke up and her and Lance chatted easily, he behaved as if nothing had happened.

 

Lance was trying very hard to quell the butterflies in his stomach, Keith actually yelled at him, he had so much passion and fire in his voice and Lance didn’t really know how to feel. He was genuinely grateful that Keith had gone out of his way to take Lance home, but Lance couldn’t for some reason allow himself to say anything nice to him, he really, really wanted to but didn’t want to be vulnerable. Keith was his rival after all, he didn’t want to show any weakness. And Lance, above all else, loved messing with people. He was now sat in the front passenger seat next to a still seething Keith. Everything within him wanted to reach out and touch his leg, say sorry, but the cocky smirk on his face said otherwise. Keith’s shoulders were raised and tense, and he looked very tired. He’d been driving for five hours with only a couple of breaks.

“Hey Keith?” Lance started, Keith’s shoulders twitched as if it had made him jump. “Do you want me to take over?”

“Can you drive?” Keith muttered in response, his resolve relenting a little.

“I have my learners permit?” Lance offered in return, Keith scoffed and shook his head.

“I’m fine.” Keith muttered quietly.

“Okay, but if you drive us off the road because you’re sleepy don’t blame me!” Lance challenged, baring his teeth. Keith didn’t respond, only tensed his shoulders more, Keith was being the bigger person, Lance chuckled darkly.

 

A couple more hours passed and Keith looked totally drained, the anger had exhausted him.  
“It’s this next left.” Lance muttered, Keith turned as they travelled up a dirt path, they travelled over a small bridge and arrived at a large country house, it was beautiful, well-kept and Lance was beaming proudly. They pulled in the drive and woke Hunk up, who was bleary eyed and confused. Keith was panicking, given his history of introducing himself he was terrified, especially since he’d spent the last part of the journey seething with anger and jealousy. He wasn’t even angry with Lance anymore, just himself for caring in the first place.

A pile of excitable family poured out of the door as soon as Keith took the key out of the ignition, Lance leapt out the door and ran over, his family all hugged him tightly, so happy to see him. Keith smiled to himself, what an amazing feeling to have so many people adore you completely, flaws and all. Lance looked like he was in his element, teasing his siblings, complimenting his mother, Hunk and Pidge had also exited the car and were being introduced to everyone. Keith reluctantly left the car and locked it. The woman that Keith assumed was Lance’s mother spotted him immediately, she smiled so big and warm and happy and he felt like it was home. She came over to him, she had Lance’s smile, not his flirty shitty smile, but his real actual smile, the smile he had when he thought and spoke of his family. She was regarding Keith with kind eyes.

“And you must be Keith,” She extended a hand, Keith took it, thoroughly surprised that she already knew. “Lance speaks very highly of you.” Keith was astounded.

“Oh really now?” Keith sputtered, his stomach doing backflips. “He’s told me so much about you, he say’s you’re an amazing cook and an amazing mother.”

“Oh how sweet!” She responded, “Y’know he was right when he said how cute-“ Lance suddenly appeared behind his mother.

“MAMA! I see you’ve met Keith, Keith this is my mother Sofia, she says a lot of things that aren’t true.” Lance stammered, Keith smirked. Sofia looked up at Lance with adoration.

“Ah, my sweet boy, all your friends are wonderful.” She held Lance’s face in her hands happily. “I’m so glad that you managed to come home. Keith, I am so grateful that you offered to bring my boy home to me, I hope he has expressed his gratitude well.” Keith snorted, Lance’s face fell. Sofia looked from one to the other and stifled a laugh of her own.

Suddenly Keith was bombarded by children of all ages, all just as excited to see him as they were to see Lance. Keith was introduced one by one, there were 5, 2 older than Lance and 3 younger, Keith was still in complete shock that one family could have so many members. The eldest was Robert, then Angie, then Sammy (short for Samantha) Rebecca and Taylor, and they were all exceptionally friendly.

“Now that you’re familiar with all of the children,” Sofia laughed, sensing that Keith was obviously overwhelmed. “You can come and help me with the food. Lance told me how great a chef you are.”

“How often does Lance call you?” Keith responded, following her into the house, he glanced around, he could only imagine the chaos that happened in this home, as it was it was immaculate, but Keith guessed it never lasted that long.

“Almost every day, he’s always got so much to say!” Sofia glanced back at Keith to make sure he was following her. “He talks about all of you so highly, I’m so glad he managed to find good friends like you.” Keith smiled to himself slightly, Sofia saw and smiled as well. They entered the kitchen and Keith was in his happy place. He loved cooking, it was one of those things that so many people assumed he would be no good at, but he taught himself to cook. He moved out at a young age, as soon as he graduated he left and moved across the country, he got a shitty job at a shitty restaurant and cooked, he slowly and surely got better and better, that’s when he met Hunk, who worked at the same restaurant. Keith had decided he wanted to be a fighter pilot when he was a child and Hunk happened across it by accident, but they were both working at the restaurant to save up and pay for college. Hunk had moved countries to go to university to study and didn’t have any friends, and Keith was very much the same but in a different way, Keith just didn’t have friends full stop. Hunk was a far superior cook to Keith and taught him different methods and specialities, they made it a kind of competition between each other to see who could save more than the other. Eventually they’d both saved enough and enrolled for the same university, both specialising in piloting to begin with, until Hunk tried a simulator and decided to concentrate on mechanics, something that as a chef he had a knack for. It was precise and artistic. They moved in together and would try and out-do each other with cheap dishes, ingredients that they could get cheaply but make taste beautiful, Hunk nearly always won, but Keith had his speciality – Burritos.

“What are we cooking?” Keith asked, thinking that he'd never cooked for such a huge family before. Sofia grinned.

“Sloppy joe’s.” Sofia grinned, Keith chuckled. “There are too many people to feed to bother doing anything fancy, and who doesn’t love sloppy joes. Lance also told me that you made excellent burritos, so you’re familiar with how to cook good ground beef.”

Keith was positively beaming, he sliced some fresh tomatoes, which Sofia proudly said were grown in the allotment behind the house. If he was making sloppy joes he was at least going to add a couple of fresh vegetables. He felt like he was home, it was wonderful to be so readily accepted by someone.

 

Lance was pacing the corridor outside the kitchen, working up the courage to go inside, god knows what else Lance’s mom could have said in the time they’d been apart. There was also a part of him that couldn’t see Keith and his mom getting on so well, it was just like he’d imagined, they were laughing and joking and Keith had his stupid little ponytail. Lance finally, took a deep breath and pushed the door open, Keith was watching Sofia adoringly as she dished up the food, Lance’s heart positively ached at that face, so sincere and sweet. Keith didn’t make that face often, so every time Lance saw it, it broke his heart, no one had ever looked at him like that. Sofia turned and grinned at Lance, and when she was sure Keith wasn’t watching, she winked. Lance groaned audibly, and Keith suddenly noticed he was there and the contented, adoring look he wore a few seconds ago was replaced with a scowl. Lance kind of hated that he’d caused that.

“How’s dinner coming along?” Lance walked a little further in, wringing his hands nervously.

“Almost ready.” Sofia responded. “Is the table set?” Lance nodded in confirmation, Hunk and Pidge insisted on helping lay the table whilst the younger kids played outside. The older children chose to divulge every single embarrassing story about Lance, who was silently thanking whatever god there might be that Keith wasn’t there to hear any of it. Keith picked up some plates laden with food and marched past Lance without looking at him.

“Wow, what did you do?” Sofia asked after watching the uncomfortable exchange.

“I don’t know…” Lance looked after him, “I have this uncontrollable compulsion to annoy him. He’s just so perfect and good in every way and it just drives me INSANE mama!”

Sofia gave him a knowing look and Lance shook his head.

“No, it’s not like that.” He said sadly, lying. “It’s just, everything comes so naturally to him, I’ve never been able to help you cook, it just makes me so mad because I have to work extra hard and still never come close.”

“My darling, you are special and talented in your own way.” Sofia came over and took Lance’s face in her hands, a kind look in her eyes. “You’re just too caught up in your own ego to see it.” Lance let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. She was always right, Lance could only appreciate that now that he was older, moms’ did actually know everything.

Lance helped her carry the rest of the plates out to the table of waiting and hungry people.

Night came, they sat outside on the porch with some drinks and watched the sun set, it was still so pleasantly warm, Keith had finally taken off his jacket, probably because his pasty arms couldn’t get sunburnt if there was no sun, Lance caught himself staring and quickly looked away.

“Man, this must have been such an amazing place to grow up.” Pidge smiled, leaning against the wall, she was sat low to Lance’s left, he patted her on the head condescendingly.

“It sure was my little pigeon.” She batted his hand away pouting. “And this isn’t even the best part.”

“Tomorrow we’re going to take you to the beach!” Sofia said happily, as if it were Christmas. She took a sip of her drink and continued watching the stars as they appeared in the sky. “But it's getting late and you’ve had a long day, your beds are ready.”

Pidge was sleeping in the same room as Angie, Hunk in the same room as Robert and Keith the same room as Lance, who looked at his mother with narrowed eyes, she’d definitely done this on purpose. She smiled at him innocently. Lance walked up the stairs with Keith following silently, he opened the door to his room and felt very exposed. This was his childhood bedroom, full of his childhood things, his mother hadn’t moved or touched anything, it had stayed the same since he was a teenager. Covered in posters of constellations and astronauts. It felt really personal to have Keith in his room, and Keith could sense it.

“I… I can go and sleep on the sofa if you’d rather.” Keith suggested innocently, holding his bag still, just in case he was kicked out.

“No… no, my mother would be offended if you did, she’s set you up such a nice little bed,” Lane gestured to the floor, where Keith’s bed was nothing short of a nest of blankets and pillows, it looked even more comfortable than his bed back at Shiro’s, Keith looked at it dreamily. Lance chuckled at his face. “She does take care of us.”

“She’s incredible, I wish I’d have been fostered by someone like her.” Keith dropped his bag and kicked off his shoes. “or even just to have a parent like her.”

“You say that as a guest,” Lance laughed, he carefully sat on his tiny single bed, stroking the covers. “She is the best I’ve got but she’s not perfect, nobody is.”

Keith was sat on the edge of his nest rather awkwardly, Lance glanced at him, and then twigged that maybe Keith didn’t want to sleep in the clothes he’d been wearing all day.

“Oh hey, I’m going to get some water, so you can get undressed.” Lance tried not to think about Keith undressing. “Do you want anything?” Keith looked relieved but shook his head. Lance left the room and shut the door, quietly he leant up against it and huffed out a lungful of air, rubbed his forehead and went into the kitchen. His brother Robert was also getting a glass of water.

“Aye, typical mama.” Lance huffed out, Robert looked up at him and smirked.

“I take it Keith is sleeping in your room?” Robert grinned, the same shit-eating grin of his own.

“Oh no, not you too.”

Keith quickly slipped off his shirt and jeans and crept under the covers, he wrapped himself up in as many covers as possible, it was like being in a huge all-consuming hug. He was so tired and yet he couldn’t sleep, he heard footsteps and quiet conversation, so he shut his eyes and pretended to be asleep. He couldn’t deal with anymore awkward encounters with Lance, especially somewhere so intimate and personal to Lance. 

He heard the door open but didn’t hear anyone enter.

“No Robert! That’s creepy!”

“Just a quick peck, if he’s asleep it’s perfectly innocent.”

“We were not raised the same, leave immediately you gigantic creepy pervert.” Keith could hear Robert laughing and walking away. Lance walked into the room, and stopped at the foot of Keith’s bed.

“Dios mio.” Lance huffed out, Keith glanced up at him, he had an unreadable expression on his face, shook his head and walked towards his bed and took off his shirt, and Keith squeezed his eyes shut.

 

Keith awoke to a warm sun streaming in through the window. He sat up, he felt very well rested, he could live like this forever, waking up to the sunshine, not an alarm. He glanced at his phone out of curiosity, it was still early and he could tell Lance wasn’t awake. He looked at Lance’s sleeping form just to make sure and felt safe enough to stand up, he stretched and felt the warmth of the sun on his skin.

“Keith.” Keith leapt round and stared at Lance, who was still fast asleep, but he was talking in his sleep. Lance wore a concerned look on his face as he said Keith’s name. Keith allowed himself a second to indulge himself, enjoying the way that Lance’s mouth felt around his name. Then quickly shook himself out of it, he dressed quickly and left the room, he descended the stairs and went out onto the porch into the sunshine. He didn’t really own too many summer clothes, so settled on a pair of above-knee shorts and a black short-sleeved t-shirt. The sun was beautiful, the sky was clear and beautifully blue, there was a gentle breeze whipping past.

Sofia woke everyone for breakfast, and once everyone was ready, Pidge, Hunk, Keith and Lance climbed into Keith’s car and headed for the beach. Sofia said she and the others’ had work to do, and that they’d walk. Keith wound the window down and let the warm breeze flow through his hair, he was wearing it down for the first time in a long time. Pidge reached forwards and tangled her fingers through it.

“Wow, Keith your hair is so soft!” Pidge crooned, a pleased look on her face. Keith laughed, Hunk touched it too and confirmed it’s softness.

“Can’t be that soft, it’s a disgusting mullet.” Lance muttered, moodier than usual.

“Why don’t you find out for yourself, Lance.” Pidge challenged, she’d begun plaiting it happily. Lance glared at her and stared at the back of Keith’s hair. His arms were folded and remained that way for the rest of the journey, all the while Hunk and Pidge swooned dramatically at the softness of Keith’s hair. 

They pulled up to the car park of the beach, they were early enough that the beach hadn’t hit its peak of busy-ness. They climbed out of the car, with happy smiles on their faces, Pidge ran ahead of them, kicking up sand behind her, holding her bag up high and yelling with happiness. It almost seemed like she’d never seen a beach before. Keith was now sporting a messy Dutch braid, the sand was warm and soft under his feet. He watched Lance take in a lungful of the sea air, he looked content, and he looked like he belonged. Hunk ran ahead to catch up with Pidge who had chosen a place for them to sit, he waited till she put her bag down and grabbed her by her waist, and carried her over his shoulder to the sea. Pidge kicked and screamed happily but didn’t put up a real fight and into the sea they went, they gasped when the cold water hit their chests but adjusted after a couple of seconds. Keith put his bag down and laid out a towel and sat down on it, shielding his eyes from the sun. Lance stood awkwardly beside him. It was like Lance had just not figured out a way to be around him. After a couple of minutes Lance groaned, threw down his bag, took off his shirt and ran into the sea, Keith was glad that he was shielding his eyes because now his hand was covering the heat rising to his cheeks, it was cheesy but Lance looked like one of those models, running and laughing through the lapping waves, Pidge leapt up and dragged him under the water. Keith laughed at their frolicking. Finally after the heat got too much for him in a black shirt, he finally pulled it off and joined them in the ocean. He realised looking at the colour of it, that it was exactly the colour of Lance’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	7. Bourbon and Sunsets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “HAH!” Lance suddenly sprang out of his chair, fists clenched and arms raised. “FINALLY SOMETHING I’VE BEATEN YOU AT HAHAH!”
> 
> “Way to go buddy.” Keith sighed, looking down into his drink, suddenly a hand was on his shoulder, Pidge was looking at him with her eyes low.  
> “Down it.”

Keith winced as he wrapped his towel around himself, the fabric touching his tender, burnt shoulders. He knew he should have stayed in the shade, it was just so hard to stay away from the beautiful water. Pidge was near passed out on the towel beside him, her glasses off and resting by her hand. Hunk was munching some food he’d scavenged from a local food vendor and Lance was watching Keith tensely. Keith felt even hotter all of a sudden.

“What?” Keith asked, pouting, wanting Lance just to look away.

“You’re burnt!” Lance gestured, a little exasperated. Lance on the other hand had just turned a deeper shade of beautiful golden.

“Thanks, captain obvious.” Keith muttered back, pulling the towel tighter around him and regretting it almost instantly from the pain. “I’m not used to this kind of sun.”

“I thought you were born in Texas!” Lance exclaimed, throwing his hands to the sky. Keith was amazed that Lance had remembered that, or paid attention in the first place.

“So? I didn’t live there for very long! Remember, I spent most of my life in different places.” Keith replied, bringing his thighs to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. The sun was starting to set and it cast a beautiful glow across the horizon.

“Hey weren’t your family supposed to be coming along too?” Hunk yelped suddenly, noticing – at last – that the clan wasn’t there.

“I dunno, maybe my mom wanted us to spend some time together.” Lance muttered, glancing over his shoulder. Keith watched the disappointed look on his face and remembered why he was here, he wasn’t really invited, he was just Lance’s ride. Keith glanced down at his phone and read a text from Shiro yelling at him for not letting him know he got there safely. He quickly text a response back and tucked his phone away, trying not to think about his unwelcome place back home.

“Hey! Why has everyone gotten so sombre?!” Pidge exclaimed sleepily, throwing her arms out to give her a boost off of the towel. “We’re on a free vacation! Lots of good food, sunshine?”

“Booze!” Lance yelled suddenly, he leapt up. “C’mon! We gotta go home, get our drink on!”

Hunk whooped once with excitement, Keith gathered up his things and they climbed in the car, the scenery looked so different in the yellow light bathing it, somehow it was even more beautiful, they pulled up in front of the house and were surprised to see that it looked as though there was no one home.

“Hey, where did everyone go?” Lance clambered out of the car, a sadness tinging his voice. They entered the front door and spotted a note that had been left on the counter. Lance snatched it up before anyone else could read it.

“I’m gonna kill her!” Lance groaned, balling up the piece of paper in his fist and throwing it into the trash can.

“What does the note say?” Pidge asked. Lance dropped his bag onto the floor and stormed into the kitchen, grabbing as much liquor as he could, pouring a lot of different things into one cup, topped it off with some lemonade and took a big swig.

“They’ve gone.” Lance muttered angrily. He took another swig, Keith was surprised with how easily it went down, Lance didn’t flinch.

“Gone where?” Hunk winced, watching Lance down another big swig.

“To see my Abuela.” He replied, refilling the drink once he’d finished it completely. “Is anyone else drinking?”

“Why, have they gone?” Keith asked, Lance shot a nasty look at Keith as soon as he spoke, Keith backed off, regretting opening his mouth ever.

“I bet I could drink you under the table.” Lance challenged, grabbing his now nearly over-flowing drink and approaching Keith slowly. Keith stepped back as Lance approached, as if he were prey trying to sneak away from its predator.

“W-what?” Keith stuttered, he was now pressed against the fridge and Lance was very close, so close their noses were almost touching. He could smell the alcohol on his breath. Keith’s heart picked up speed and he really hoped that Lance wouldn’t notice.

“You heard me! I bet I could drink you under the table!” Lance growled, pressing the glass into Keith’s chest, slopping alcohol down his top. Keith was just getting pissed off now, what had he done to make Lance so angry.

“What’s the bet, huh?!” Pidge yelled from across the kitchen, a mischievous smile on her face. Hunk glanced at her, he really didn’t want to encourage this.

“If I win, Keith doesn’t get to say anything for the rest of this trip.” Lance spat. “No words are allowed to leave those perfect lips for the rest of our time here, from now until we get back to the apartment.” Keith gulped a little at the word perfect, but it only served to piss him off more. Lance was attached to this idea that Keith was ‘perfect’ in every single way and it was really starting to irritate him. 

“And if I win?” Keith growled back in kind. Lance glanced upwards as if thinking deeply.

“You can sleep in my bed.” 

Pidge whooped and hollered in the background.

“I-I mean we switch beds!” Lance sputtered, embarrassed. “I’ll sleep on the floor and you can sleep in my bed.”

“Deal.” Keith gritted his teeth, they shook hands and the night began. Pidge officiated all the drinking games, making sure they were fair which was good because Pidge didn’t drink. Hunk drank along, his large frame making him able to drink more than both of them put together. Lance and Keith were pounding shots with quick succession, Keith was watching Lance’s cheeks slowly get pinker and pinker, his speech more and more slurred. How was it that he could be cute even when he was wasted?

“Okay!” Pidge threw her arms out in an official way. “Time for a new game! Truth or dare!”

“EASY!” Lance slurred loudly. Keith was so grateful that Lance’s family wasn’t here, he was cute but jeez was he loud.

“Okay, I’ll spin this bottle and it’ll decide who goes first!” Pidge grabbed the empty beer bottle that had Hunk thrown down and span it, chuckling at their faces getting closer to watch it spinning. It slowed and landed on Lance.

“Okay, Lance, truth or dare!” Pidge leant on the table, she was getting way too into it.

“DARE!” Lance yelled a little too loud, Keith winced.

“DOWN YOUR DRINK AND THEN DOWN KEITH’S DRINK!” Pidge yelled, Lance let out something that sounded like a battle cry and grabbed his drink and downed it and grabbed Keith’s out of his hands and downed it too. Hunk refilled their drinks.

“Okay, Keith, truth or dare!” Pidge turned on him, a grin on her face. Keith really wondered why she’d chosen truth or dare, maybe she was under the impression that she could get from information out of them both.

“Truth.” Keith sighed.

“BEST KISS!” Pidge grinned. Hunk glanced up from his bottle and his eyes fell on Keith, who was suddenly very, very hot. 

“I thought we were supposed to be drinking to this!” Keith cried, not wanting to look up at Lance.

“Yeah, if your answer is boring or a lie, then you get to drink!” Pidge smiled condescendingly, cocking her head as if Keith was stupid for asking.  
“Uh, what happens if I tell the truth?” Keith rubbed the back of his neck, trying to hold off as long as possible.

“Um, I’ll decide that when you say!” Pidge laughed, Keith assumed that it would still be a ‘DRINK’ response, but he was drunk anyway so honesty seemed like the best policy.

“I’ve never been kissed!” Keith laughed a little sheepishly, whilst he was in this state it seemed really funny, he’d gone his entire life without anyone even trying. Everyone else fell dead silent, Keith glanced between them and shrugged. “What?”

“NEVER. BEEN. KISSED?!” Pidge slammed her hands down on the table. Hunk was now sat up, his face very intense. Keith was sure they’d had this conversation before.

“Yeah… what?” Keith spluttered, suddenly the most embarrassed he’d ever been in his life, Hunk was now looking a little apologetic, Pidge was smirking and looking at Lance, who was looking very intensely at Keith.

“HAH!” Lance suddenly sprang out of his chair, fists clenched and arms raised. “FINALLY SOMETHING I’VE BEATEN YOU AT HAHAH!” 

“Way to go buddy.” Keith sighed, looking down into his drink, suddenly a hand was on his shoulder, Pidge was looking at him with her eyes low.  
“Down it.”

 

Lance laughed, pumping his fists in the air. Finally, he had something up on Keith, maybe he wasn’t so goddamn perfect if no one had ever tried to kiss him before. Although, suddenly Lance felt very sad, why had no one tried to kiss Keith before? Was it because he was so difficult socially, or sometimes he was just way too intense, or maybe he was too intimidatingly beautiful that no one dared try for fear of being shot down. Keith looked sad now and Lance felt really bad for making fun of him.

“Okay then Lance, same question for you!” Pidge’s neck almost snapped with the speed she turned to look at him. 

“I didn’t say whether I wanted truth or dare!” Lance protested, nearly knocking over his glass.

“I MAKE THE RULES IN THIS HERE ESTABLISHMENT, BUDDY!” Pidge yelled malevolently as if she were drunk herself, a huge toothy grin on her face. She looked devilish. Lance was too drunk to protest.

“Okay, so… my best kiss.” Lance pretended to tap his chin thoughtfully. He had to make this an interesting one. “Let me just flick through my mental catalogue of all my conquests…” Hunk scoffed, Keith still hadn’t looked up from his recently refilled drink, swilling it a little and watching the ice dance around. “Uh… high school… my prom date? We’d snuck some bourbon into the dance hall and got wasted, I’m sure the thrill of being caught was what made it so good.” Hunk laughed and Pidge nodded approvingly, but still insisted on Lance drinking.

Eventually they moved on from truth or dare as it was taking too long, so Hunk sat and yelled words, and the last one to say something associated with that word had to drink, soon Lance and Keith were so far gone that they just gave up answering, Lance looked as though he was about to collapse, Keith looked fondly at his sleepy face, and then suddenly laughed.

“I WIN!” He yelled, Lance nodded his head slowly, his eyelids drooping. Pidge who was exhausted from the day at the beach had totally spent her second wind, and nodded in response and trailed upstairs to bed, Hunk was flagging but still looked surprisingly sober, he suddenly stood up, rubbed his face and disappeared upstairs. Keith grabbed Lance’s glass out of his hand and took it into the kitchen, he placed it next to the sink and started putting the empty bottles of liquor into the recycling and putting the full bottles back where they came from. 

Lance tumbled into the room and leant up against the door frame, watching Keith. He looked very at home in a domestic setting, tidying up after everyone, remaining the most sensible. Just another thing to add to Lance’s fantasies, Keith in an apron making breakfast, lunch and dinner, it was so fluffy and cheesy and gross and Lance had to physically shake the image out of his head. Keith glanced up at him and a smirk appeared on his face, his stupid red sunburnt face.

“I thought you’d have gone to bed, y’know your floor bed?!” Keith slurred his words, he was holding himself together so well, but Lance could tell he was just as drunk as he was. Was Keith a heavy drinker generally? Lance had never thought to ask, it wasn’t something that just came up in conversation.

“You haven’t had your prize yet!” Lance explained drunkenly, his arms gesticulating wildly as he spoke.

“I thought that would have been obvious when I came upstairs and you were on the floor!” Keith laughed teasingly.

“NAH, that is the second part of the prize!” Lance threw his arms out, his heart was racing but he felt exceptionally confident. “I was thinking after truth or dare, that I had a better prize to give you first.”

“Um… I was happy with the bed?” Keith leant against the kitchen counter nervously. “W-what are you doing?” 

Lance was suddenly very close, he’d been thinking about it all night since Keith’s story about never having his first kiss. Would Keith be pissed if his first kiss was a drunken bet win, probably, but Lance loved annoying him so it seemed fitting. Keith’s face was completely red, and not just from sunburn, his deep purple eyes flicking between Lance’s quickly, unable to read the situation. Keith smelt so familiar and like home, with a touch of alcohol.

“Don’t hit me.” Lance smirked and leaned in fully till their lips were touching, it was brief but sweet, but only brief because Lance had to excuse himself very quickly. When he returned to his bedroom after vomiting all of the evenings alcohol, Keith was tucked up in his bed, his head under the covers so that his hair poked out the top. Lance glanced down at him fondly, his stomach doing little somersaults. For the first time since they met he didn’t hate the feeling. He kicked off his shoes, downed a glass of water that had been left by the edge of the floor nest and curled up with a glorious feeling in his chest.

 

Keith daren’t move. The light was streaming in through the window and the room felt very hot. It smelt like the morning after an extremely boozy night, with good reason of course. Keith’s stomach hadn’t stopped twisting since last night, since Lance kissed him in a drunken haze. It was obviously just Lance drunk and feeling sorry for Keith, which was just the saddest thing ever. Keith hazarded a glance towards Lance’s form to see if he was still asleep, when he could confirm that he was completely passed out, Keith slowly retreated from the bed and ran with his bag into the bathroom, he needed to wash away the stink of alcohol. He stripped and climbed into the shower, noticing the solid lines of red just below his hips from his shorts yesterday, the water stung a little on his tender skin but it felt really good at the same time. He shampooed his hair and scrubbed his face, he quickly climbed out, dried off and dressed. 

He brushed his teeth and stared at himself hard in the mirror, his freckles had really come out today and his forehead looked like it was starting to peel, he rubbed the sunburn a little self-conciously, wishing he took to the sun like Lance did. He put his dirty clothes deep into his bag and wandered downstairs. The family hadn’t arrived back at the house yet, so Keith set about making himself a cup of coffee, when he finished he sat in front of the window facing the back garden. The soft light outside was glowing and it looked beautiful. It all felt so perfect, like Keith had found his happy place. He thought it was in the cockpit of a fighter jet, but he’d done both now and he knew what he preferred.

“Morning,” A sleepy sounding Pidge entered the room, she threw Keith a smile, poured herself a coffee and joined him in looking out the window. “Hey, did Lance kiss you last night?” 

Keith froze, Pidge said it so casually, how… did she know? Pidge had an uncanny ability to just know everything.

“I didn’t watch, Lance told me he was going to last night,” Pidge shrugged, taking a sip and poured in another sugar. Keith didn’t really know what to say, should he deny it? He could imagine Pidge asking Lance and him vehemently denying anything of the sort. “You don’t have to tell me, your face says it all.”

Keith spluttered, he really didn’t know what to say now, did his face betray him so much? He knew he was terrible socially but he didn’t know his face was so easily readable, he really ought to be more careful about that.

“Got a new answer to your truth or dare question then?” Pidge grinned, bearing the same cheeky, toothy grin she bore last night. Keith rubbed his face and remained silent, nearly burning his mouth as he quietly sipped coffee so he didn’t have to say anything.

Hunk wandered in a couple of minutes later and followed suit, he pulled up a seat next to Keith and rested his head on his shoulder.

“Y’know, I’d kiss you Keith.” Hunk smiled with his eyes shut. “But you’re my best bud and I’d hate to make it weird between us.”

Keith laughed and rested his head on Hunks, Pidge silently rested her head on Keith’s other shoulder.

“I’d kiss you, but you’re not my type.” Pidge laughed, Keith’s heart soared, this was his family, this, was his happy place.

 

Lance was the last to awaken obviously. He had woken up to the ruckus of his family coming home and chatting happily to his friends… and Keith. Oh god, Keith. Lance smacked his face with his hand, glanced at the empty glass of water on the floor next to the bed and his chest swelled. Keith had definitely poured him that. Lance cursed that he probably wouldn’t be able to speak to Keith alone because his entire family just loved to get involved and ruin everything. Not that there was anything to be ruined. He thought back to the note that his mother had left and praised whatever god there was that Keith didn’t see it before Lance screwed it up and throw it away. ‘Just go for it’. If only it were that simple. Lance couldn’t think about that right now, he felt like shit and his mouth tasted like a dumpster. He clambered into the shower, still a little drunk from last night and pulled on a fresh change of clothes. With fresh clothes and clean teeth he felt a million times better. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say to Keith though, maybe he could get away with pretending he was just too drunk to remember anything. That was the plan, act super casual, so casual.

Lance shook with nerves as he came down the stairs, they were all in the living room chatting animatedly, Rebecca was sat on Keith’s lap telling him all about her favourite grandmother, Keith was grinning and listening intently, he looked a little uncomfortable but he was making the effort at least. He looked so sweet and genuine – and were those… freckles? Lance’s stomach flipped once more for good measure and he entered the room, Keith glanced up quickly at Lance as he entered and then back at Rebecca, they both started laughing at something. Hunk was casually leaning back in the armchair that Lance usually sat in and Pidge was sat beside him, almost falling asleep with her head on his knees.

“Morning my love!” Sofia embraced Lance very suddenly, she squeezed him very tight, tighter than usual. She obviously had been told that he was bound to be feeling tender this morning, and Lance had to get his affinity for teasing from someone.

“Uuuuggggh, morning mama.” Lance gulped, groaning the whole duration of the hug, Sofia dropped him, reached down and handed him a cup of coffee. “And this is why I love you.”

“Don’t thank me, Keith made it for you.” Sofia replied, gesturing to Keith who was now telling Rebecca about his favourite foster mother. Keith glanced up for a split second and continued chatting to Rebecca. Taylor had now joined them, sat on the armchair beside Keith. It was killing Lance how much they obviously adored him. Why couldn’t he just be so open about his feelings like kids were? They were so unafraid and pure and unbroken by the world. Sofia raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips. She left the room quietly to prepare breakfast. Lance sat down in front of the coffee table and rested his forehead on the cold glass, it was relieving, it also meant that Lance didn’t have to make eye contact with anyone. He took a sip of his coffee, it was perfect, exactly how he liked it. He took another sip and almost relished the feeling of being under an avalanche of his own undoing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	8. Purple Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I thought you could have your bed back for the final night.” Keith said without rolling over.
> 
> “Uh, thanks I guess.” Lance muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. He slowly paced over and placed the glass of water next to Keith’s half-asleep form.
> 
> “Thanks, buddy.” Keith beamed sleepily, he was so cute, his freckles were highlighted over the pinkish hue of his cheeks. 

It was the day before they were due to go. It was also the day that they got their results back from college exams. Lance received his by post, the others’ could look at theirs online. Keith sat up from Lance’s bed and glanced down at Lance’s very still form. Since the incident neither of them had spoken about it, both saying that they couldn’t really remember anything because they were so drunk, much to Pidge’s chagrin. Keith could tell by Lance’s breathing that he was nervous. They hadn’t really spoken about why Lance got held back, he’d mentioned it but never gone into any detail. Keith could almost tell by the atmosphere it was because Lance hadn’t done so well in his exams. Even Keith was nervous, he didn’t enjoy exams but he had a natural talent at being able to talk shit and make it seem intelligent, he also had an advantage after having taken the exam before.

Suddenly, Pidge came bounding into the room in her pyjamas, her hand clamped around her phone excitedly.

“I PASSED!” She screamed, bundling onto the bed with Keith and hugging him excitedly, Keith laughed and patted her on the head, Keith sat up and Pidge sat leant against him, reading through her results thoroughly. Keith was slowly getting used to the casual intimacy that Pidge displayed, she was used to this sort of thing through having a close family, so didn’t find it weird at all. Lance popped his head up shyly watching Pidge with curiosity. His face was so pink, Keith had never seen him look so afraid and nervous.

Hunk suddenly kicked open the door triumphantly fists in the air, flexing his biceps proudly.

“YAAAAAAASSS!” He yelled, launching himself on the end of Lance’s bed, looking through his results more thoroughly also. Lance was even pinker now, bordering on fuchsia. 

“C’mon Keith, check your results! They should provide you a link in your email inbox!” Pidge poked him in the rib excitedly. Keith tried to swallow the nervous lump in his throat and reached for his phone, as he did Lance rushed out of the room, Hunk twisted round and watched him go.

“I think he’s nervous.” Hunk whispered, trying to drag his elation into a more subdued happiness. Pidge nodded, aware of Lance’s situation. 

Keith opened up his emails and quickly noticed an unread email, the subject read ‘CONGRATULATIONS!’ His shaking hands opened the email and he read, the first thing he noticed was a personal note left by the dean of the university commending him on receiving the best results in the class. He gulped, he was elated obviously, but he’d passed first year already, he was familiar with it. His reputation with thinking he was perfect in every way wasn’t helped with this commendation so he decided he wouldn’t mention it. Pidge glanced at the screen and grabbed the phone out of his hand, reading the message.

“AW SO IT WAS YOU!” Pidge screeched. “Aw man! I’m usually the best in the class, I’m jealous but super happy for you!”

“Hah, it’s only because I’ve done the exam before!” Keith laughed, Pidge scrunched her nose and then nodded, accepting that was a pretty decent excuse.

“Congrats man!” Hunk slapped him hard on the shoulder. Keith smiled, happily, but his smile immediately dropped when Lance entered the room with an open letter in his head, he didn’t look up at them.

“Can you get out of my bed please.” Lance flatly asked, they all looked at each other.

“Everything okay, Lance?” Pidge asked, a little cautiously. His face was very pink. 

“Just. Get out of my bed and leave me alone. Please.” His voice was completely monotone. The three of them complied and left the room, Lance slammed the door behind him. 

“Lance? Buddy? Do you wanna talk about it?” Hunk shouted through the door, making one last attempt before being met with complete silence.

 

How, could this happen, again?! He’d worked so goddamn hard to get through it this year, did his nerves get the better of him? Was he distracted by something? Was he really so useless that he couldn’t pass an exam he’d ALREADY taken? He balled his fists up in the duvet and half cursed that it smelt so strongly of Keith, and half calmed him. It felt like his heart was racing a mile a minute, what was he supposed to do now?! The college wasn’t going to let him retake his year again, and he couldn’t STAND the humiliation of going through his first year again even if they did. 

He noticed Keith’s phone was open and unlocked on the night stand, did he really want to torture himself by looking at how well he’d done in the exams. And Lance decided he did, he picked up Keith’s phone, read the first line and ALMOST threw Keith’s phone across the room. OF COURSE, Keith had a HAND-WRITTEN (typed?) commendation from the dean of the university, OF COURSE. Lance half wanted to be happy for Keith and the other half just absolutely hated his guts. Maybe hate was a strong word but he felt passionate enough about it to put it down to hate. He slammed Keith’s phone face down on the nightstand and turned over in his bed, looking at the sunlight on the curtains.

How was he supposed to explain it to his mother this time? He couldn’t come up with the same excuse, she was smarter than that. He was lucky she humoured him enough to believe him the first time, he couldn’t face her so staying in bed inhaling the sickly sweet scent of Keith felt like a better option for his day. Eventually the emotions swirling inside him started to feel numb. He lay there expressionless, it felt as though it had been hours, the sunlight was now a shade of orange, Keith’s scent had all but gone, replaced by the cold sweats of Lance’s breakdown. Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

“Mijo?” Sofia’s voice rang through the door quietly. Lance grunted a response that she took as approval to enter the room, she looked at him solemnly, but without any pity. “Not good news I expect?” Lance shook his head sadly, she sat down on the bed beside him, he sat up and fell into her arms, he had no energy left even to cry. His stomach was cramping and he just felt low.

“I’m sorry mama, I didn’t want you to think I was a failure.” Lance muttered into her shoulder. Sofia stroked his hair lovingly.

“I would never, ever think that.” She said, pulling away and holding his shoulders at arm’s length, looking him in the eye. “You are not a failure my love.”

“What am I supposed to do? Repeat the year again? I couldn’t stand the humiliation!” Lance cried pathetically. Sofia shook her head, she picked up the piece of paper and read through it, much to Lance’s mortification.

“Lance, my love, did you think to read the rest of the letter after the first sentence?” Sofia asked, not looking up from the page.

“Of course not, I didn’t want to make myself feel worse, the first sentence was enough.” Lance sighed, pulling his legs into his chest and resting his cheek on his knees, his sheets bundled around him like a cocoon.

“Due to special circumstances and results exceptionally close to a passing grade, we have granted you a re-sit of this exam, your re-sit examination will commence on the 18th of August and will be marked accordingly, then depending on the results of your re-sit you will commence your second year, beginning the 7th of September along with the rest of your classmates.” Sofia read aloud. Lance’s ears pricked up, he was being given a second chance, his heart swelled with gratitude. “You have to respond confirming this date by email to the head of your course before the day is up.” Lance gathered her up in his arms, so grateful that she had read the letter, if she hadn’t he wouldn’t have known he could re-sit. She laughed and stroked his head one more time.

“So we’re in May, now that gives you the rest of this month, June, July and the beginning of August for you to get your act together quickly.” Sofia said seriously, Lance nodded into her shoulder happily. She got up and left him to type out his response to the head of his course, confirming that the date would be okay, and that he’d be working extra hard. He climbed out of bed, the anxiety in his stomach had lessened and now he was hungry. He could smell the smell of lunch being cooked, he dressed and joined everyone downstairs in the kitchen, feeling a million times lighter. Hunk clapped him happily on the shoulder, having heard the news from Sofia. 

Keith was happily helping Sofia making lunch and for the first time today, Lance wasn’t seething angry at him. He did notice however that he was still in his pyjamas, Lance appreciated that Keith gave him enough space and didn’t come barging into his room demanding his stuff, Lance couldn’t even be sure that Keith’s phone screen wasn’t shattered from the force he slammed it down with. Keith glimpsed up and caught his eye, a little nervous at first but smiled when he noticed Lance’s demeanour was much better. Lance hazarded a smile back, which sent Keith’s cheeks a delightful shade of pink. They finished making lunch and all sat down to eat, discussing their plans for the rest of the summer.

Now that they had (mostly) finished the first year, they now had to decide what they were specialising in, Pidge was obviously going to be a technical engineer and navigations officer and Hunk a mechanical engineer and comms specialist, Lance was 100% going to specialise in being a pilot so long as he got through this exam. During the summer they had to write a 5,000 word essay on why they should be considered for this role and their extensive knowledge on the subject.

They spent the rest of their only remaining day in the garden, playing with the children and drinking lemonade, it was all so pure and picturesque, and everyone was so at home here. Lance really didn’t want to go home, but he had to start his studying. The sooner he started, the sooner he could start writing his essay. Keith was looking forlornly out to the sunset, Lance almost swooned, the freckles across the bridge of Keith’s nose had really come out after Lance’s mother slathered him in aloe vera. He’d gone an impressive shade of brown for someone as pasty as him, he looked like a beautiful flower child, like he really belonged. Lance thought maybe Keith might actually miss this more than he would.

“Enjoying the view?” Hunk appeared suddenly behind Lance, glancing between him and Keith, who was still staring at the sunset sadly. Lance simply scoffed and walked away, grabbing another glass of lemonade he sat down beside his mother.

“I’m going to miss you, my love.” Sofia smiled, pressing a hand to Lance’s cheek. “It’s been so good to have you home. But you’ve got a lot of work to do.” Lance nodded in agreement, he was feeling enthusiastic about being given another shot.

“Maybe when the car’s fixed you can come visit me at college?” Lance suggested, Sofia grinned. 

“Aw, Lance, won’t I embarrass you?” Sofia laughed heartily.

“I mean, yeah, of course you will.” Lance huffed, teasingly. “But you guys are worth it. I can show you all around the campus, show you the coffee shop, Keith could cook for you.”

“Sounds wonderfully domestic.” Sofia laughed. Lance smirked, he was too exhausted from all the emotions he’d felt today that he couldn’t muster any sass to argue with her. Lance rested his head on her shoulder and they watched the sunset. 

As the sun got lower, the sky took on a beautiful shade of deep purple, just like Keith’s eyes. Lance allowed himself to imagine those piercing eyes for a little while, before they all retired to bed. They were leaving very early the next day so needed to get an early night.

Lance came upstairs last, carrying a glass of water, when he entered his bedroom he saw that Keith was curled up on the floor nest.

“I thought you could have your bed back for the final night.” Keith said without rolling over.

“Uh, thanks I guess.” Lance muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. He slowly paced over and placed the glass of water next to Keith’s half-asleep form.

“Thanks, buddy.” Keith beamed sleepily, he was so cute, his freckles were highlighted over the pinkish hue of his cheeks. Lance didn’t respond, he simply climbed into bed and tried to sleep, he imagined what it would be like to tell Keith to climb into bed with him, not to do anything, sometimes it was just nice not to sleep alone. He could only imagine Keith’s look of disgust, similar to their first meeting. It was scary to think how far they’d come in a matter of months, a lot of people could have considered them friends, Lance was too stubborn to admit the same.

 

Someone was gently shaking Keith awake. His eyes slowly opened as if they were stuck together and he was face to face with a very excited Hunk.

“GOOD MORNING, MR. KOGANE!” Hunk whisper-yelled. Keith raised an eyebrow, Hunk had never referred to him so formally. Hunk laughed at his flabbergasted face. “C’mon we’ve got to leave, we’ve got long-ass journey ahead of us!” Keith sat up and noticed Lance’s bed was already empty, how on earth was Lance awake before him? 

Keith quickly dressed and grabbed a coffee that Sofia had prepared for him, he downed it quickly and they all clambered in the car, there were a lot of tearful goodbyes, which explained why Lance got up so early. He didn’t want to be soppy in front of his friends, but as they pulled away, Keith could hear him sniffling ever so slightly. Keith couldn’t help but smirk a little, he’d never seen Lance so affectionate.

About an hour into the trip, an hour of Lance singing loudly along to sad love ballads Pidge decided to speak up for the first time.

“Hey, fellas. Me and Hunk were thinking of something that we think could be mutually beneficial.” Pidge started, as if she were about to pitch a million dollar idea. Keith and Lance both looked in the rear view mirror at Pidge and Hunk’s evil little faces. Lance cocked an eyebrow, a little terrified.

“Uh, yeah, what?” He started cautiously. 

“SO! Obviously, Lance, you need to study hard in preparation for your upcoming exam right?” Hunk started.

“Uh yeah, I’ve got to give it everything I’ve got!” He fist pumped enthusiastically.

“Have you ever considered, maybe, getting a tutor of some description?” Pidge asked, tapping her fingers together.

“I guess I could, I suppose?” Lance responded thoughtfully, tapping his chin with his index finger. Not really catching on very quickly.

“Um, what has that got to do with me?” Keith suddenly burst out, he knew exactly what it had to do with him, and Lance was not going to be pleased. This was why Hunk referred to him as Mr. Kogane this morning.

“Well, we were thinking that Keith, you could tutor Lance!” Hunk said, as if it were some great reveal. Keith daren’t look at Lance.

“What the fuck you guys?!” Lance exclaimed. “I can barely stand this guy the amount I see him now, let alone one on one.” Keith expected nothing less but somehow it hurt all the more after everything.

“Yeah, no thanks.” Keith muttered, his attitude shitty now. “I wouldn’t have the patience to deal with him.”

“And a fuck you too, Keith!” Lance yelled. “GOD, just because you’re so fucking perfect and great at everything, you’ve got a really shitty superiority complex.”

“Yes, Lance, as you keep saying, I am perfect in every single way.” Keith sighed, dripping with sarcasm, he was really trying not to yell.

“WELL, I don’t want your stinking help anyway!” Lance slammed his hand on the dashboard. “Lord knows you probably cheated anyways.”

“Mhm, you know it.” Keith grunted, pulling into a gas station, he made sure that it wasn’t the same one they’d stopped at on the way. “You wanna fail again, be my guest.” As soon as the car stopped, Lance threw open the door and stomped off into the desert. “Oh no, Lance, don’t go, come back.” Keith muttered quietly.

“Whoops.” Hunk laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, Pidge cackled maniacally. “He’ll be back, I hope.” 

Keith filled up the tank and grabbed some water and snacks, Pidge was sat on the hood of the car, looking into the distance trying to see if she could see Lance.

“As always, he’s wasting our time once more.” Keith muttered through gritted teeth. “I’ve never known anyone to be so damn sensitive.” Pidge scoffed in response.

“Hunk’s gone to find him.” Pidge grabbed a bottle of water from Keith’s hand. “God why do you guys fight all the time, when you so obviously wanna get into each other’s pants.”

“Shut up Pidge.”

 

The rest of the journey passed in silence, Lance’s mood had dropped considerably since the genius ‘suggestion’ that Pidge and Hunk pitched. Keith would have been happy to do it had Lance not responded in such disgust. Lance’s ego was too big to admit needing help from Keith of all people. Keith just wanted him to do well, to pass, to carry on with them. He knew that if this didn’t work out, Lance might drop out altogether, go home and they might never see each other again. He regretted lashing out at Lance like he did, but it just sucked to feel like you were getting somewhere with someone only for them to turn around and actually say they couldn’t stand you. He’d never met anyone with so much pride.

As they pulled up to their apartment, Pidge and Hunk climbed out, grabbing their bags.

“Hey Lance, are you coming or...?” Hunk asked, leaning in to talk to him.

“Yeah, just a sec, I just wanted to speak to Keith quickly.” Lance responded without looking up from the spot on the dashboard he’d grown so attached to. A lump formed in Keith’s throat, he really didn’t have the energy to deal with another childish argument. Hunk shrugged and they went into the apartment. Lance suddenly turned toward Keith but didn’t look up.

“I just wanted to say thank you.” He started, Keith was startled and didn’t really know how to respond, so Lance just continued. “You have no idea how much I appreciate you driving me all the way to see my family, as you can probably tell, my family mean more to me than anything in the world, even more than college, even more than myself.”

“It’s fine, dude.” Keith stuttered in response. “Anytime. I know you would have done the same for me.”

“And I uh, wanted to say about the other night.” Lance was now very pink in the cheeks. “I uh, I’m sorry if I over-stepped any boundaries, I have come to consider you a trusted… acquaintance,” Keith scoffed at this. “But, I just felt sorry for you and I’m a great kisser so, there you go. No harm done, no awkward feelings. No offence, but I don’t really, uh, see you in that way?”

Okay, this was worse than an all-out argument.

“Okay, get out.” Keith turned on the engine again, hands tight on the wheel so that his knuckles were white.

“Hey, Keith, I’m just trying to be honest with you.” Lance probably thought he was explaining himself, but Keith just wanted to get far away. He knew all this, he’d guessed all this from the way Lance behaved around him, but to actually hear it, Keith was fucking sick of it.

“No, I’m done fucking listening to you run your mouth off ONCE AGAIN.” Keith snapped. “You could have just left it at ‘thank you’ and gone, why do you have to try and insult me time and time again?!”

Lance opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, his stupid adorable face so confused by the sudden outburst.

“I’m done okay.” Keith spat angrily. “I’m done being the bad guy in your fucking fairy tale ok? All I wanted was to be fucking friends with you, okay? Just because you’ve made up this stupid little rivalry in your head, why am I the one that has to suffer for it?! I don’t care! I don’t think I’m better than you, I don’t think I’m better than anyone!” Lance just sat and stared at him wide-eyed. “Just, just go okay? I’m done. Don’t worry about me bothering you ever again.”

“W-wait, that’s not what I” Lance sputtered

“No. I’m done, Lance. Go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh nooooo  
> I also have a tumblr if anyones interested, i do reside currently in the voltron tags if you're into that, feel free to harrass me with questions and/or prompts  
> Tumblr/ foxsmo-lder


	9. Puppy Dog Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, I’m gonna carry on talking and you can pay attention if you want…” Lance tilted his head up, eyes still on Keith’s looking very dramatic. Keith was terrified about what Lance was about to do. He stood up, rounded the desk and leant back on it, so that his head was resting right in front of the notebook that Keith was currently making notes on, his back was arched like he was a still-life model, legs flailing ungracefully. “Sooooorrryyy.” He said in a long drawn out voice. Keith closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. Why was he doing this? The librarian was looking over the rim of her glasses at them warningly.

Lance watched Keith pull away, standing in front of his doorway watching Keith’s face drop from anger, to pure sadness, to something not far away from heartbreak. Had Lance really done that, to someone he actually considered to be a friend. In his dreams considered to be more than that. Why did he say what he’d just said, why was he lying to everyone and himself? Was he still angry about the embarrassing suggestion that Keith tutor him, Lance was painfully aware that Keith was much more intelligent than him, he didn’t need that to be rubbed in his face in a one on one session.

But then, really, Keith had never ever acted, nor suggested that he was better than Lance, that much was true. But it wasn’t in the things that he said, or did, he was just… everything that Lance wanted to be, and Lance had never met someone like that. Someone he was so insanely jealous of, it wasn’t Keith’s fault of course, and Keith hadn’t had an easy life. Lance could tell that from the bare minimum that Keith had told him. And yet, if Lance could trade lives with Keith, he would in a heartbeat. Lance should have felt guilty, but in that moment he felt that more than he’d felt anything, more than he wanted to kiss him, he wanted to be him.

Lance finally turned around and opened the front door, Pidge and Hunk’s heads turned to him quickly from the kitchen, Lance toyed with the idea of just retreating to his room, but he did want to talk it out with someone, if Keith wasn’t going to listen, maybe his friends would.

“Hey… everything okay?” Pidge looked concerned.

“Uh, yeah I guess.” Lance flopped down on a stool in front of the breakfast bar, Hunk was making coffee. “I think the talk with Keith didn’t go so well.”

“What did you say to him?” Hunk pressed him, they were overly serious.

“I uh, I basically said thank you for taking me to see my parents...” Lance thought back, after Keith’s yelling he’d kind of forgotten what it was he’d even said. “And then, I said I’m sorry for kissing him and that it didn’t mean anything and I didn’t see him in that way.”

“Wait, WHAT?! You kissed him?!” Hunk near screamed. Lance winced and rubbed his forehead, he could feel a tension headache coming on.

“Yeah, I was hammered though… so y’know, it doesn’t count.” Lance rebuffed, he’d said that part quickly so that they wouldn’t dwell over it.

“What the fuck Lance!” Hunk yelped. “Why would you kiss him if you weren’t interested in him?”

“Because I felt bad for the guy!” Lance exclaimed. “I don’t know, he just looked so fucking sad. I wanted to get rid of that face, never see it again. I know it sounds strange.”

“What did he say to that?” Pidge threw a hand out to Hunk to stop him from yelling at Lance out of frustration.

“He blew up.” Lance shrugged his shoulders, as if shocked by the reaction. “He just yelled at me, said he was sick of being the bad guy when he didn’t ask for it blah blah blah, told me to get out and told me he wouldn’t be bothering me anymore.” 

Pidge and Hunk exchanged a worried look, Hunk took out his phone and starting texting. Pidge just stared at Lance in disbelief.

“All because you were ‘offended’ at our tutoring suggestion?” Pidge muttered, starting to get pretty pissed, it wasn’t often she displayed strong negative emotions. “Are you fucking kidding me, Lance?”

“Of course, I was fucking offended, Pidge.” Lance couldnt believe he was getting so much anger thrown at him. “Do you think I don’t know how stupid I look next to someone like Keith, hell, next to all of you, I can guarantee that you three were the top three in the class, and who the fuck am I?!”

“Lance, we were trying to help you!” Hunk exclaimed, he’d totally forgotten about the coffee he was halfway through making.

“Help me?!” Lance finally hit his boiling point. “No, you were trying to hook me up! You’re fixated on this idea of me and Keith getting together and falling madly in love and that everything would work out! I. CANT. STAND. THAT. GUY. I’m not gonna sit and have my stupidity rubbed in my face by him!”

Pidge and Hunk couldn’t deny it, the idea had come from the hope that all this seemingly unrequited pining would come to some sort of result given the right circumstances. Maybe they had fixated on this idea of them finally sorting it out and getting together, they guessed that when it was said out loud like that it seemed like a really shitty thing for friends to do.

“Lance, you and I both know that you’re not stupid.” Pidge muttered, feeling thoroughly guilty all of a sudden. “Sure, we suggested it in the vain hope that you guys might realise that you’re both dense idiots, or even just became better friends. But you were so heartbroken when you’d found out you’d failed and we could tell that Keith was just as heartbroken as you.”

“We knew he’d want to help you, but didn’t know how to ask.” Hunk added, Lance looked between them both. “I think he knew from the moment we suggested it how you’d react, his face fell and he was anticipating you’d blow up, but you were so fucking mean about it!”

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true!” Lance protested.

“He has never, EVER, done anything to try and hurt you,” Pidge spoke through gritted teeth, feeling decidedly less guilty. “Apart from that ‘look’ he gave you when you first met, which was an ACCIDENT, a miss-communication, you’ve made up this awful version of him in your head. He’s not smug or self-satisfied and he definitely doesn’t think he’s better than you.”

“Hah, sure, have you seen the way he looks at me? Just in general.” Lance looked between them like it was obvious.

“Yes, we have.” Hunk spoke meaningfully. “He adores you, you idiot.”

“I’m so freaking done with your guys obsession with me and Keith!” Lance yelped, trying not to let the warmth that ignited in his belly mean anything. "It’s not like that! He isn’t pining after me, he dislikes me as much as I dislike him!”

Pidge just looked at him, really looked. The same look that his mom would give him when she wanted him to tell her the truth, but Lance wouldn’t budge. Pidge and Hunk were delirious, Keith didn’t look at him with love or affection in his eyes. Did he? Lance left the room quickly, suddenly exhausted, there’d been too much emotion today, sadness leaving his family and then just anger the rest of the day, he collapsed into his bed and stared at the ceiling, and imagined the stars, what it would be like to see them one day. He thought about how important his exams were, if he wanted to see the stars he needed to pass this exam, this was his last chance. His only opportunity. He was too sad and angry to think about his options right now. He let his eyes close as he imagined a lone red star in the distance.

 

Hunk_ Yo, keith… you home safe?

Hunk had sent that text 4 hours ago, it was almost midnight and he still hadn’t heard anything, he hoped deep inside that it was just because he was asleep, was he being a bad friend by not racing over to the coffee shop to see if he was okay? Did Keith just need some space? Was Hunk being a bad friend if he DID race over to the coffee shop and to see if he was okay? Hunk was completely torn, he decided to stop fussing over it, Keith wasn’t some fragile thing, why was he acting like he couldn’t look after himself? Hunk was so confused, so he just tried to confuse himself to sleep. It helped to a minor degree, as he continued to wake hourly to check his phone. 

When the daylight finally came he made a choice, he was going to the coffee shop, but… casually. As far as Keith was concerned, Pidge and Hunk didn’t know what happened, and probably would have preferred to keep it that way anyway. He’d probably be mortified knowing that Lance had spilled everything, and also that Pidge and Hunk had given their two cents about Keith’s feelings.

Hunk climbed out of bed, showered and dressed quickly, hoping to bump into Pidge in the kitchen before he saw Lance, luckily, Pidge was already sat in her normal spot on the breakfast bar, head phones in and typing furiously. Hunk could only imagine the power behind her knowledge and ability, she’d make an incredible technical engineer. He’d learnt from experience to not make her jump, so he slid behind the laptop lid and waved enough that she spotted him.

“Oh, good morning!” She smiled, seemingly well-rested, but Hunk wondered if she ever was. She was always the last to bed, and always the first to wake. It seemed like she survived on 5 hours sleep max. 

“Coffee shop?” Hunk suggested after she took off her headphones, she glanced down the corridor, she was pretty sure that Lance probably wouldn’t leave his room all day, she nodded and they pulled on their shoes and left.

They walked through the mostly empty campus, it was summer break so most everyone had gone home. There were a few students dotted around in summer classes, trying to get extra credit, Pidge had considered it, but it was only her first year and she didn’t need extra stress. As they arrived, it was still early so Shiro was just flipping the sign on the window to open, when he spotted Hunk and Pidge, and sprinted out the door, holding it shut behind him.

“Hey, Shiro, everything okay?” Hunk asked, Shiro seemed shook up.

“No! What the hell happened on your trip?!” Shiro cried, continuously glancing inside the shop.

“Uh… Why? What’s happened?!” Pidge asked, suddenly concerned, what had Keith gone home like?

“Keith… I don’t know where he’s gone. He text me that he’d be back in the morning, and he’s still not home!” Shiro cried again, his eyes wide. “I tried to call him over and over again but he won’t respond.”

“Oh shit.” Hunk whimpered horrified. What had he done? Keith could get himself into sticky situations, Hunk would know he was there in the worst kind of situation. The kind of situation that got them both kicked out of college. Hunk tore his phone from his pocket and called Keith, who of course, didn’t answer. Hunk was freaking out now, Pidge had fear in her eyes.

“Hey, Keith, please answer your phone. We don’t know where you are, but we need to at least know that you’re safe.” Hunk whispered into the voicemail, his voice laced with worry.

“He used to do this a lot when he was a kid. Even when he lived with my parents… he just left when things got a little too much.” Shiro muttered, they entered the coffee shop, he slipped the closed sign back around and locked the door. It seemed he was hoping they’d come along.

“Why break the habit of a lifetime.” Pidge said out of an anger caused by worry. She was angry because Keith obviously didn’t realise, or care, that there were people that cared about him.

“Where would he go?” Hunk asked, hoping it might shed some light on where he’d gone.

Shiro shrugged, when Keith had lived with him, he only ran away once and had been caught too soon to know where he might have gone.

 

Keith just watched the countryside pass him by, was he insane? He didn’t really know where he was going, if he could he’d drive all the way back to Lance’s mothers, somewhere he felt happy and safe. But he could imagine that when he got there, all he would think about was the life he couldn’t have, the people he’d never see again, he suddenly slammed on the brakes. Which earned him a honk from the car behind who swore at him as they overtook. 

Why was he being so fucking weak? Why was he running away, he had done nothing wrong! This issue that Lance had, said more about him than it did about Keith, when did Keith become so lovesick that he let his emotions be controlled by Lance’s behaviour. The fact that he’d driven all this way just showed how pathetic he’d become, how blinded he’d been. Keith could honestly say that he nearly loved Lance, but again, it was a version of Lance he’d made in his own head, charming and funny, disarmingly handsome, which of course, Lance was, but from the moment they met, Lance had only been a complete asshole to him. Sure he’d helped him mop up his cut, and sometimes he could be nice, but nine times out of ten, he was the worst towards Keith, since when was Keith a martyr? 

Even if Lance turned around and told Keith he liked him too, it wouldn’t be a great foundation for a relationship, there was a difference between insults and friendly banter. Keith could count on one hand the amount of times Lance’s insults could be considered ‘friendly banter’, the rest was bred from an insecure hatred.

So at the next opportunity he could he turned back. He drove and drove, and he felt so much clearer now. Maybe he needed Lance to say what he said, so that Keith could start to get over him, he felt so much better, like he’d had an epiphany. He drove and drove, the sun was high in the sky, he pulled into his car parking space and pulled out his phone, he had several missed calls. He called Hunk, the barest hint of a smile on his face.

“Oh Keith! I am so glad you called! Are you okay buddy?” Hunk cried down the phone, loudly. Keith laughed at Hunk’s pure worry.

“Hey, Hunk. I’m sorry, I had to uh… get away, and, clear my head. I guess.” Keith spoke, the smile finally breaking out on his face.

“We’re at the coffee shop! Where are you?!” Hunk whimpered. 

"Look outside," Keith smiled, put the car into park and climbed out, waving through the coffee shop window, at Pidge, Hunk and Shiro, all grinning and waving at him in response.

 

Today, Lance was supposed to study, but instead, today was the day that Lance wallowed, he wallowed like he never had before, one thing that Lance could certifiably say he had a talent for. How had he blown so much in the last week, his exams, nearly an opportunity to retake said exams, the potential to have a tutor who seemed to genuinely care about how he did and finally, he’d blown his entire relationship with Keith out of the water, never to be seen again, at least, that’s how it felt.

He’d only now thought about how Keith might be feeling right now, he hoped just as lousy as he was, and then he remembered that he was the cause of that and felt bad again. Why was he obsessed with Keith’s successes? Maybe, it felt easier to blame his own failures on someone else, he’d actually considered for a moment on the day that he’d got his results that Keith had been distracting him and that was what caused him to fail. Maybe it was a little nice to have a scapegoat of sorts. He kept consistently forgetting that Keith was human too, with his own insecurities and problems. Maybe everyone else was right, he was reducing Keith to some character of Lance’s own creation. He sucked in a big breath and looked at the curtains, it was sure to be a beautiful day out there, and here he was, in bed feeling sorry for himself. He wasn’t that awful to him was he? To cause Keith such apparent heartache? Lance wracked his brains trying to think of a time that he was nice and considerate to Keith, for an entire conversation, and he couldn’t even think of one instance, it dawned on him that he’d been a complete douchebag throughout their entire relationship, and Keith had consistently tried to help him. From motivating him to go to lectures, making him breakfast and dinner, never charging him for coffee at the shop, to taking him to see his family, to helping his mother cook and clean, to bonding with the children, just everything.

Lance wasn’t a bad person, or so he thought. If Keith did have feelings for him, he certainly didn’t deserve them. Lance really didn’t want to be ‘that guy’, sooner or later Pidge and Hunk would realise what and asshole Lance was being and he’d lose all his friends, his future teammates. He sighed, he was going to have to make it right, and somewhere deep inside of him, he really wanted to as well.

But… as it is with Lance, nothing actually happened for a couple of days. Keith never came round, Hunk and Pidge blended around him awkwardly, starting their essays to submit ready for their second year. Pidge consistently asked him if he was studying, which Lance just eventually started to ignore after she asked a fourth time, it wasn’t until the weekend that Lance forced himself out of bed, and headed to the coffee shop.

Why, was he so nervous? His heart was racing, his palms were sweaty, the burning nerves in his legs yelled at him to go home, turn around, reconsider. But against all odds, and against usual Lance fashion he pushed the coffee shop door open. Shiro immediately perked up, Allura was stood behind the counter continuing to chat away, when had she started working there? She turned when she noticed what Shiro was staring at, she was just as disarmingly beautiful as ever. 

“Hey, Lance, what can I get you?” Allura smiled, a little awkwardly, she must have heard about what happened.

“Uh, nothing… do you know if Keith is around?” He asked, hopefully, Allura looked a little worried and glanced towards Shiro, as if asking for support. Shiro stepped forward, smiling friendlily. Lance was suddenly reminded of how terrifying could be, and that smile was the one thing that reminded him. 

“He’s not on shift today, Lance, sorry.” Shiro was still smiling amiably but there was something in his eyes, Lance leant back a little, he hadn’t expected Keith to go into so much detail with him about what had happened. 

“No, I guessed as much, do you know where he is?” Lance tried to look anywhere but Shiro’s terrifying eyes. Shiro considered him for a moment, Lance attempted to look apologetic and solemn under Shiro’s gaze.

“He’s at the library, preparing to write his essay…” Shiro responded finally after what seemed like a good 10 minutes of Lance being stared down. Lance huffed out a breath of relief.

“Okay, thanks Shiro!” Lance turned to leave.

“Hey…” Allura stopped him, Lance turned and looked at her, she looked like she wanted to say something, but didn’t. “Never mind, see you around.”

 

Keith glanced out the window and was met with a peculiar sight, Lance was against the full length glass outside of the library, with hands around his eyes trying to gaze in, Keith shot him a very strange look, Lance grinned when he noticed Keith looking at him, he waved goofily, he started making very exaggerated mouth movements and pointing between the two of them. Keith just continued to look confused, Lance rolled his eyes dramatically and held up one finger before disappearing, it dawned on Keith that it was because he was coming inside to talk, was it too late for Keith to try and run away? Keith quickly realised it was too late because before he knew it, Lance was storming in and slamming himself into the seat in front of him.

“Yo.” Lance leant back in the chair casually, had Lance forgotten their last conversation? Why was he suddenly being so casual and comfortable?

“Hey,” Keith responded, he quickly looked back down at his book and started continuing his notes, Lance didn’t make a noise for a second.

“Rude.” Lance muttered, leaning forward in his chair, looking closely at Keith’s face.

“Me? Rude?!” Keith half-yelled at him, not believing his nerve. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

“I just wanted to talk to you.” Lance shrugged, “I wanted to give apologising to you another shot maybe?” Keith just stared at him, raised a single eyebrow, took a deep breath and continued taking notes.

“Well, I’m gonna carry on talking and you can pay attention if you want…” Lance tilted his head up, eyes still on Keith’s looking very dramatic. Keith was terrified about what Lance was about to do. He stood up, rounded the desk and leant back on it, so that his head was resting right in front of the notebook that Keith was currently making notes on, his back was arched like he was a still-life model, legs flailing ungracefully. 

“Sooooorrryyy.” He said in a long drawn out, vaguely flirty voice. Keith closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. Why was he doing this? The librarian was looking over the rim of her glasses at them warningly.

“Lance, please stop, you’re going to get us both thrown out of here.” Keith huffed quietly, Lance raised his eyebrows.

“If you accept my apology, I’ll go.” Lance lifted his arms above his head, now his entire top half was laid elegantly on the desk in front of Keith.

“You are so fucking bad at apologies, that was NOT an apology.” Keith was so close to actually yelling at him, and god did he want to right now.

Lance locked eyes with him, his face sincere.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for being a douche to you from day one.” Lance writhed a little, now being genuine but trying to keep up the confident façade. “You’re just very intimidating because you’re very intelligent, handsome, sincere and helpful and I couldn’t deal with it because I wanted to be the best. I’m sorry I let my imagination get carried away with me.” 

Keith looked at him, an unamused look on his face, trying to ignore the ‘handsome’ comment. Lance’s eyebrows knit together in desperation.

“Excuse me, sir, please get off the desk.” The librarian had suddenly appeared behind Lance, Keith blushed profusely and Lance just sat up, smiling and saying sorry. Lance got up from the table and instead opted to kneel next to Keith, as if he were proposing.

“Please, I’m sorry, I’m desperate, and I need you to tutor me.” Lance cried sadly, like a hungry cat, his eyes large and pleading, like a puppy. Keith almost forgot how angry he was with Lance when he looked so sweet, his cheeks dusted lightly with pink, his bright blue ocean eyes pulling Keith in, the way his lips were turned slightly in a pout, Keith lingered on those lips for a second and then came back to reality.

“I thought you couldn’t stand me.” Keith stared down at Lance, seemingly unaffected. Internally screaming and tearing out his hair.

“I didn’t mean it!” Lance complained loudly, earning another scowl from the librarian. “I’m just… I didn’t want… to be insignificant next to you… I didn’t want to be… I dunno, forgotten?”

It was all really sad, Lance was being so honest and sincere, that Keith didn’t know if he could reject him again, he was here, baring his soul to him in the middle of a library where most everyone was watching and staring. He looked as though he was declaring his love.

“So you admit you have an ego problem?” Keith clarified, Lance groaned and shifted his whole body theatrically.

“I guuessss! If that makes you happy.” Lance sighed, Keith smirked, he was really trying, he was even foregoing his pride to try and make this apology.

“I’ll think about it.” Keith relented. Lance leapt up and yelped joyfully.

“That’s a YES!” Lance yelled, throwing his arms in the air, for some god forsaken reason people in the library started whooping and applauding like Lance really had just proposed, Keith looked at the librarian who was now seething. Keith sighed, closed his book stood up dragging Keith out of the library by the back of his collar to save himself anymore embarrassment.

“By the way, that was not a yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaaaay  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	10. Studying and Simulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Keith please!” Lance whined, Keith suddenly turned, his face was like thunder and Lance was a little scared. Shiro and Allura were watching.
> 
> “LANCE, stop!” He yelled, his face was red. “Please, whatever you’re trying to do here, just stop.”
> 
> “Keith! I’m being honest with you!” Lance whined, he was desperate to get through to him, worried he might not get another chance. “I miss you!”

Lance let out a giant breath of relief, Keith was talking to him, although he was currently yelling at him, which was beside the point, at least he was talking to him.

“What the fuck Lance? I was trying to get some work done?!” Keith yelled, his cheeks red with embarrassment.

“I had to find you and talk to you,” Lance said a little bashfully, “Shiro said I could find you here, so I thought it’d be a great opportunity to have you listen to me rather than avoid me or ignore me.”

“By tracking me down, harassing me, and then embarrassing me?!” Keith barked, unbelieving.

“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds shitty.” Lance shrugged his shoulders. “But yeah, I knew I’d have to go to extremes to make you forgive me-“

“Haven’t forgiven you.”

“And agree to be my tutor.”

“Haven’t agreed to anything.”

“But you haven’t refused?” Lance pointed at him, smirking. “That is a yes in my book, because a ‘maybe’ means that somewhere deep inside you want to say yes!”

“Or, I just don’t want to hurt your feelings?” Keith suggested.

“Why would you care about my feelings after the way I spoke to you?” 

Keith looked at him, really looked, this was a different Lance to the one he’d encountered previously. Sure he was a little obnoxious but he wasn’t being rude, he was being quite genuine, and Keith seemed unsure on how to take him. So he regarded him with caution, as if the Lance he’d known would suddenly make an appearance.

“Why have you suddenly decided you want me to tutor you?” Keith asked, genuinely curious, what had happened in the last week to change his mind.

Lance looked off into the distance, “I guess I realised I probably haven’t treated you so well…” Lance quickly glanced at Keith, who was looking rather shocked. “And I guess… it was a weird kind of epiphany that made me realize that you’ve only ever tried to help me. So, I was really hoping you were still interested in helping me.”

Keith stared him down, deep in thought, his lip drawn in a thin line. “No.” Lance’s heart stopped.

“W-What?” Lance asked, genuinely surprised by the refusal. “But I apologised? I bared my soul to you dude!”

“Lance, you don’t just get to come and ‘apologise’” Keith airquoted. “You can’t just pretend to be all sweet and genuine with your puppy dog eyes and think that I’m just going to turn around and be at your beck and call. I’m not that desperate for your attention, if you hadn’t already noticed.”

“What can I do to prove to you that I’m genuinely sorry?!” Lance threw his arms out in exasperation, what more did this boy want? Lance was being more honest with him than he had been with anyone in his entire life.

“Lance, why do you care so much?” Keith finally said, as if he’d been waiting all this time to ask that one question, Lance faltered for a second, why did he care? 

Honestly, he could just ask Pidge or Hunk to tutor him… but he really missed Keith. More than he cared to admit or mention, he missed being able to watch him work away on his notes, the way his eyebrows drew together in concentration, all the little things that he did when he wasn’t aware that Lance was watching.

“I... uh…” Lance hesitated.

“Yeah, thought as much.” Keith shook his head and stormed off back toward the coffee shop. Should Lance go after him and tell him that he missed him, would he even take him seriously? Lance had to at least try, so he trailed after him, weakly calling his name repeatedly, like an actual puppy dog. 

They arrived at the coffee shop and Keith was completely ignoring Lance now, he threw open the door and let it shut in Lance’s face, he was determined to get through to him, even if he seemed pathetic.

“Keith please!” Lance whined, Keith suddenly turned, his face was like thunder and Lance was a little scared. Shiro and Allura were watching curiously.

“LANCE, stop!” He yelled, his face was red. “Please, whatever you’re trying to do here, just stop.”

“Keith! I’m being honest with you!” Lance whined, he was desperate to get through to him, worried he might not get another chance. “I miss you!”

Keith took a deep breath in, and closed his eyes, giving himself a second to take in what Lance had just admitted to him. Even Shiro and Allura had stopped in their tracks, just as shocked at Lance’s admission, Lance was bright red but wouldn’t break eye contact with Keith, his lips pulled into a determined pout, like he was a toddler being told off.

Keith really wanted to refuse him, to tell him to leave, so instead he did the only thing he could think of, he walked away. Away from Lance’s adorable face, away from him looking like he actually cared. He climbed the stairs, still processing. Lance was obviously just really desperate, resorting to all that he could to guilt Keith into it. As Keith stepped through the door, he noticed a letter with a very official looking stamp on it, addressed to him.

 

Lance refused to look at Shiro and Allura, he stormed out of the coffee shop, he just bared his soul honestly for the first time and Keith didn’t even blink. He trailed hopelessly back to the apartment, maybe he should just give up, admit defeat. Admit that he’d dug his own grave, he was the reason that this happened. Maybe it was just too little too late? 

He unlocked the front door of the apartment and prayed to be met with an empty kitchen, and to his luck, it was. He simpered into the kitchen and started making himself some noodles, feeling sorry for himself. He sat with his crappy instant noodles in front of the television and switched it on. He thought about Hunk and Pidge out at the library getting books together to write their essays for the next year, he hadn’t even thought about it, resigned to the fact that unless Keith helped him, he didn’t have a chance in hell of passing that exam. Suddenly, feeling a new burst of enthusiasm, Lance never gave up on anything, so he certainly wasn’t going to start now. As he was about to head back out the door to reason with Keith once more, he noticed with a start that Keith was calling him, he fumbled with the phone and answered quickly.

“Keith!” He yelped excitedly.

“Hey…” Keith sounded dejected on the other end. “Listen, I’m sorry about earlier, you came to me asking for help and I just threw it back in your face. But you have to see where I’m coming from.”

“Oh totally!” Lance sounded like he was getting a new puppy.

“So, I’ve decided him going to help you…” Keith said quietly, and then before Lance could say anything. “But on one condition.”

“Anything!”

“You just listen to me. Don’t answer back, don’t tell me I’m wrong, don’t embarrass me, just leave your pride at the door, and I’ll help you.”

“Done!”

“Okay, if you’re serious, I’ll be at yours by 9am tomorrow sharp.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Uh… yeah okay. Um get an early night… I’ll bring coffee.”

“And I’ll make breakfast!”

Keith sounded a little apprehensive on the phone.

“Hey! I need to learn someday!”

“Sure, see you tomorrow.”

“See you!”

Lance was giddy, he was giddy and excited. But that was only because his determination came to something, he’d won.

 

Pidge was sat at her laptop as usual, in the kitchen, typing aggressively, she was over halfway through her essay and couldn’t wait to be finished. It was so cathartic to be getting all of her passions down on paper, to just be able to type and type and let it all just spill out of her.

“Whatcha doin?” 

Pidge leapt out of her chair, yanking the headphones off her head and falling backwards into someone.

“EVERY SINGLE TIME LANCE!” Pidge yelped, clambering up and helping pull him up afterwards. It was only then she noticed she hadn’t fallen into Lance, she’d fallen into a very shocked looking Keith, Lance was stood beside him almost keeling over with laughter.

“Oh god, Keith, I’m so sorry!” Pidge exclaimed apologetically, he just laughed and brushed it off, Pidge was just as amazed to see them together, in such a friendly(?) capacity. “What are you doing here? With Lance?”

“Well, since he begged me and humiliated himself to make me tutor him,” Keith glanced at Lance semi-fondly, who was beaming. “I finally gave in I guess.”

Pidge took a second to take Lance in fully, his demeanour was confident, cocky even, it seemed that he was feeling more like his usual self, he’d obviously had a victory convincing Keith to help him. So he was grinning from ear to ear. Keith looked like he was trying to stop himself from grinning also, but there was a hint of something else, something… wistful.

“Anyway, I’m making breakfast! Do you want some?” Lance spun around and started clanging pots and pans, Pidge shot Keith a look, except he wasn’t looking at her, he was watching Lance, obviously noting the mood change as well. His face was very straight, with a slight hint of amusement.

“Uh, know I’ve already eaten…” Pidge responded finally, she’d gotten a little carried away watching the two, “I’m, uh, gonna head to the library, want me to grab you any study materials?”

“I think I’ve got all the stuff we’ll need.” Keith smiled, holding up a very heavy looking backpack. Pidge nodded, closed her laptop and headed out, she glanced back to see them talking amicably, Pidge didn’t really need to go to the library, as Hunk left his room, she didn’t even think to check if he were dressed, she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the apartment.

 

“Can’t we take a break?” Lance complained, leaning back on the sofa dramatically, Keith was on the floor looking at him in disbelief.

“We literally just finished breakfast, I opened the first page of the book!” Keith exclaimed, he had severely underestimated Lance’s lack of motivation, Lance looked at him, the pouty puppy dog eyes back. “We’re starting now! We don’t get to take a break till lunch!”

Lance looked at his watch and his eyes went wide. “It’s only 9:45!” He threw his arms in the air in defeat “I’m never gonna pass this exam!”

Keith rolled his eyes, he was sat next to the coffee table looking at the table of contents. “With that attitude, you might as well give up now.” Lance made an indignant noise and Keith continued. “So, what subjects do you feel least confident in, we’ll start with those and go from there.” Lance began saying something, but Keith interjected. “And don’t you DARE say ‘everything’”

Lance’s mouth fell into a pout once more, Keith looked at him with one eyebrow raised. “Okay, let’s approach this differently, let’s go over the most important parts, the parts likeliest to appear in the exam and go from there.” Lance nodded.

Keith ran his finger down the table of contents and fell upon a subject, found the page and opened it, Lance slipped off the sofa and joined him on the floor in front of the coffee table, Lance’s eyes were gently scanning the page, he was sat very close, Keith could feel the heat radiating off him, he was a very warm person, Keith was always cold to the touch.

A couple of hours later, Keith was extremely aware of how little credit he gave Lance, Lance was exceptionally intelligent, perhaps even more so than him. Either that or Keith was just a naturally good teacher, Lance was able to relay information with precision and after only reviewing the information once. Any question that Keith asked, Lance didn’t hesitate to answer. Lance was beaming, he seemed very happy with himself. Maybe this is just how Lance learnt best, one on one, rather than lectures, where he was able to ask questions in order to compartmentalize the information in his head, either way, Keith was impressed.

“Can we stop for lunch now?” Lance groaned, looking a little smug, Keith glanced down at his watch, it was 12:45, those couple of hours had passed a lot quicker than he expected them to.

“I guess so… what was your plan for lunch?” Keith stood up and stretched, he glanced out the window, it was roasting hot outside when he left the coffee shop this morning, so he could only imagine how warm it was now.

“We could go to the store and have a picnic?” Lance suggested, looking up at Keith with an unreadable expression. “Bring the books with us? Sit on the quad, you could top up your tan?”

At this Keith glanced down at his arms, they were littered with delicate freckles, he didn’t tan so much as just gain more tiny brown dots, especially on his face, they’d started to die down a little since being at Lance’s mom’s.

“Eh, I don’t really like being tan, I just go super freckly.” Keith muttered, touching his cheeks gently. “I’ll sit in the shade, but that sounds like a nice idea.” Lance looked a little lost in thought as he stared at Keith, Keith kicked him gently with his foot to get his attention. “Are you coming?”

“Uh… yeah, oh god yeah sorry.” Lance jumped suddenly, leaping up and racing to grab his shoes. “Sorry, I got distracted. I, uh, I like your freckles, I dunno I think they just look good on people.”

Lance kept on surprising Keith, just random compliments thrown in here and there, a genuine interest to spend time with him, it was bizarre, is this what it was like for Hunk and Pidge? To have Lance honestly want to be friends with you, it was nice. Keith suddenly felt sad, it wasn’t something he’d able to get used to.

 

Hunk and Pidge were slowly making their way back to the apartment, when they noticed two familiar figures sat on the grass not far from the apartment, Lance and Keith were sat side by side, eating sandwiches and studying, it was so pure and picturesque that Hunk had to double take.

“See?! This is what I was saying!” Pidge exclaimed quietly as they approached, she’d tried to describe the change in their dynamic after she dragged him out of the apartment without any notice. 

“Wow, they look so sweet!” Hunk gushed, grasping the books he’d just withdrawn from the library close to his chest as if cuddling them. Pidge rolled her eyes, they came just within earshot of Keith and Lance who glanced up at them innocently. Lance surreptitiously edged himself away from Keith, as if he hadn’t noticed how close he’d got until just then.

“Hey guys, how’s the first tutoring session going?” Hunk smiled, throwing himself on the ground beside them, dropping his books and leaning back on his hands casually. Pidge sat cross-legged next to Hunk and gazed down at the open book, Lance’s fingers were gently resting on left hand side of the book to keep it from shutting, and Keith’s on the right side of the book, it was bizarrely adorable.

“Yeah, really good!” Lance beamed pride fully. “It’s so nice to actually have some explain it to you like you aren’t a 12 year old!” It was Keith’s turn to beam happily. 

Hunk could just picture them turning to plant a peck on the others’ lips affectionately, he felt a little sad when he knew they wouldn’t. Never before had Hunk been so wrapped up in someone else’s lives, it was like a soap opera or a crappy romance novel.

“I don’t think you’re going to need that much tutoring.” Keith smiled. “To be honest, you’re almost halfway there already. We’ve gotten through all the really important stuff you’ll need, it’s just the small intricacies to cover now.”

“Aw, guys I’m so proud of you both!” Hunk cooed like a mother cooing over her baby. Lance and Keith looked at each other, puzzled. Pidge elbowed Hunk in the arm, hard, and he dropped the subject completely.

 

A couple more hours passed and Keith headed home, Lance watched him go and clutched the book Keith had bought close to his chest. Hunk was trying not to laugh, seeing Lance watch Keith disappear into the sunset. Pidge rolled her eyes and grabbed Lance by the sleeve and dragged him back to the apartment.

“Hey, Lance, since you’re doing so well with the studying,” Hunk started as they entered the apartment, Lance turned and grinned happily, enjoying the endless praise. “Have you thought about what you want to specialise in?”

Lance stopped for a moment, he’d not really thought about it, he was so wrapped up in the upcoming exam that he’d totally forgotten about the essay. Usually he’d immediately say fighter pilot, but now he wasn’t so sure. Each one of them had chosen something based on their strengths, and Lance hadn’t had the confidence to step foot in a flight simulator, so he could hardly say that he’d be good at anything. 

“Uh, no… not really?” Lance thought out loud, Pidge and Hunk shared a look of shock. “I… maybe I should see about going on a… simulator? Maybe we could… all do it together?”

Hunk’s stomach churned at the thought of it, but he wasn’t going to turn Lance’s nervous request down.

“Sure, b-buddy.” Hunk reached out and patted Lance on the shoulder, Lance tried to smile with conviction, but still looked a little nervous.

“HEY! Yeah, that’s a great idea! I’m sure we’d be allowed, and there would be a team of four of us! It’d be the first time our year would have a full team!” Pidge yelped excitedly, already typing out an email to the head of their course, asking permission to use the simulator.

“F-four of us?” Lance asked, his voice quiet, he hadn’t really thought of that, naturally Keith would take the fighter pilot position.

“Yeah!” Pidge smiled, “We could try a couple of different positions! You and Keith could take turns! I bet we’d make an amazing team!” 

Lance nodded, still a little dejected, he was trying so hard to ignore all of his natural instincts, to not let his ego and pride get the better of him, he wanted to try the simulator, but all his fears and insecurities held him back, what if he got in there and he found that he wasn’t good at ANYTHING. He quietly disappeared into his room, pulled out his phone and climbed into bed.

Lance_ Hey, Keith, I know it’s late but… Pidge was talking about doing a flight simulator with all four of us.

Keith_ That seems like a good idea.

Lance hesitated, he took a deep breath, so far being honest had done him more good than bad, admitting his insecurities to someone who didn’t seem to judge him.

Keith_ Are you having doubts?

Okay, so Keith was a mind reader, it was spooky.

Lance_ Uh, yeah… actually.

Keith_ what are you so scared of?

Lance_ Failing? Embarrassing myself? Killing us all? Being the sole reason everything goes wrong?

Keith_ You can’t just stop yourself from doing things for the fear of something that MIGHT happen, something that will almost definitely out of your control.

Lance_ But let’s say I do become a fighter pilot, so… we’re out in space, Hunk and Pidge on board, I decide that I think a different route would be quicker, instead I fly us into a quadrant FULL of enemies and we get eviscerated across time and space. THAT would be my fault.

Keith_ That’s heavy, dude. 

Keith_ But stop fixating, so what if you’re not a good fighter pilot? That doesn’t matter, you’ll find something you’re amazing at!

Lance bit his tongue, his stomach was doing backflips, why had he denied this for so long? It felt amazing to just vent like this. Fuck his pride, this was better.

Lance_ But it’s all I’ve ever dreamed of.

Lance_ You saw my bedroom.

Keith_ Space child.

Lance_ Exactly, it’s been my life’s goal, ever since I was a kid, ever since I can remember. What do you do if you can’t achieve your dream?

Keith_ You find a new dream.

Lance_ D-Did you just quote Tangled?

Keith_ No

Keith_ But that film is a masterpiece and no one can tell me otherwise.

 

Keith awoke to the sound of banging on his bedroom door, he rubbed his eyes and glanced at his clock, shit, he was late!  
Lance burst in the door, a bundle of nerves and excitement, who was the last person that Keith expected to see so early in the morning.

“COME ON!” Lance exclaimed, grabbing Keith by the wrist and tugging himself out of bed, Keith went limp like a ragdoll and flopped onto the floor.

“You are NOT doing this right now!” Lance was trying to sound serious and angry, but there was laughter in his voice. “Come on!”

Lance bent down slipped his arms under Keith’s arms and lifted him, they were practically nose to nose, Keith decided he was still rag-dolling so he dropped his head onto Lance’s shoulder, expressionless. Lance smelt amazing, Keith tried not to do a creepy deep inhale, but it was difficult not to, his head was bobbing on Lance’s shoulders as he laughed.

“Come on! Take this seriously! I’m facing my greatest fears today!” Lance groaned dramatically, Keith finally stood up straight, it seemed that it was only at this point that Lance noticed Keith’s state of undress, as in Keith normally only slept in his underwear, because it was hot in the summer, Lance’s entire face went totally magenta, he dropped his arms from under Keith’s and was staring straight in his eyes, his eyes flashed briefly to Keith’s lips and he ran out of the room. Keith could still feel the heat radiating from Lance on his chest, he climbed into the shower, and tried to wash away the butterflies in his stomach, he dressed and left the room, Pidge, Hunk and Lance were all sat on the sofa in Shiro’s living room chatting easily to Allura, Keith quickly looked for the letter he’d left out, when he found it he stashed it away in his bedroom. When he was ready, they headed for the university building.

It wasn’t normal for simulations to be allowed during the summer break, but due to Lance’s extenuating circumstances, they made an exception. Pidge was very good at writing convincing emails and letters, she managed to guilt the head of their course to not only let them use the simulator, but to use it for an entire day. They were stood outside of the simulator, Lance had never come this far before, and he was visibly shaking. Keith wanted to put his arms around him, and reassure him, tell him it was going to be okay… but he didn’t want to push it. Lance obviously trusted him, trusted him enough to pour out his soul to him, he wasn’t going to take advantage of it.

“Right!” Pidge exclaimed, one finger raised to the sky like an anime protagonist. “The first formation will be, Hunk you will be navigation, I will be comms, Lance will be Pilot and Keith you’ll be operating the guns!”

Lance started shaking more, Pidge didn’t seem to notice, everyone disappeared to change into their appropriate gear, Keith looked at Lance when he emerged in his suit, his cheeks were pink and he was staring at the floor with wide eyes. He was gripping his fists so tightly that his knuckles were white. Keith stopped in front of him, and placed his arms on his shoulders, and sucked in a deep breath.

“Lance.” Keith spoke, forcefully. “Look at me.” Lance slowly looked up, he looked near tears. Keith’s heart broke for him. “It’s going to be okay. It’s just us, we’re your best friends. It’s going to be fine, it’s not real, you don’t have to be scared or embarrassed. Just do your best.” Lance drew in a shaky breath and nodded.

“READY LADIES?!” Pidge yelled, already in her seat inside the simulator, Hunk was looking exceptionally green in his chair, not looking forward to it at all. Keith climbed into his chair and wrapped his arms around the controller for the guns, he’d been a gunner a couple of times, and was never particularly good at it, he could do what needed to be done, but he wasn’t amazing at it. Lance stopped and stared at the pilots seat and took in a slightly steadier breath, he sat down and strapped himself in.

“Is everyone ready?” Pidge yelled happily, she was in her element, ready to press the button to start the simulator.

Lance didn’t say anything, Keith and Hunk shouted ‘yes’ in unison, Pidge slammed her hand down on the button and the simulator began.

 

Lance’s hands were shaking violently as the simulator started, it was just a basic sim, Lance had watched these things on repeat, watching where people went right, where people went wrong, he knew where they had to go and what he had to do when he got there. So why was he so terrified? There was no teacher to tell him he’d done a bad job, there was only his friends, and they weren’t going to judge him, were they? But somewhere inside he knew, that if he wasn’t any good at piloting, he’d never be able to be a team with them. He took in a deep breath and started the ship.

"Placing co-ordinates." Hunk spoke slowly, trying to keep his breath steady to get rid of the coming nausea.

“Okay, Lance, co-ordinates are in, you know what to do.” Pidge spoke encouragingly, she knew that Lance had never done a simulator before, but she knew he knew the mission inside and out. Lance stayed silent, obviously not confident enough to say anything at the moment, all that could be heard were Hunk’s groans as Lance gently moved the vessel, Lance glanced over at Keith, who was gripping his console tightly, his eyes scanning the space around them. Keith took everything so seriously, and Lance could just tell how passionate he was. Suddenly there were red flashing lights appearing on the screen.

“Enemy ships sighted.” Hunk shouted calmly, Keith burst into action, his eyes moving swiftly across the screens, Lance tried to concentrate on what he was doing, but watching Keith was addictive.

“Roger that, Enemies sighted.” Keith replied, his voice powerful, it sent shivers down Lance’s spine. Suddenly, Lance almost leapt out of his seat at the sound of the guns firing from Keith’s end of the ship, Lance kept telling himself that it was just a simulator but it felt so real.

“Lance, evasive manoeuvre we need to get away before more enemy ships arrive.” Pidge spoke loudly, but still calmly. She’d done this a million times and was gently trying to encourage Lance to stop being so shy. Lance looked out the side windows, and like Pidge said, more and more enemy ships were appearing, Lance was starting to panic, he was looking at Keith missing tons of opportunities to destroy enemy ships.

“LANCE! We have to move now!” Pidge called out, voice still calm, but getting a little impatient, Lance couldn’t help it. He quickly moved his arms and pushed the ship forward quickly. He arched the ship around, trying to give Keith a better angle, only to earn protestations from Hunk and Pidge.

“Lance, what are you doing? You’re going off course!” Hunk exclaimed, who then immediately started dry heaving in the corner.

“I’m trying to give Keith a better shot!” Lance exclaimed, arching the ship gracefully, and yet Keith was continuing to miss so many shots.

“Lance! That doesn’t matter! You need to get us to our co-ordinates!” Hunk exclaimed, Lance gulped and quickly arced back around, back towards the destination, picking up speed, Lance could see Keith’s knuckles turning white, his face knit with frustration. Lance quickly and swiftly brought them to their destination.

“Nice, Lance!” Hunk praised. “Pidge, let ‘em know that we’re here!” 

Lance drowned out the sound of Pidge making exchanges with the simulated aliens. He was looking at Keith, whose eyebrows were pulled together, he looked frustrated with himself, he was still shooting at the enemy ships that approached but he just didn’t seem to get the hang of it. Hunk was white in the face and trying to stare out of the window to stop himself from vomiting.

When the simulator was over, Pidge leapt up happily and bounded over to Lance. 

“You did amazing Lance! I’m so proud of you!” Pidge grabbed his face in her hands and smooshed his cheeks with pride. Hunk joined them and Keith stood off in the background, he was smiling too, but he looked a little disappointed.

“Hah, that… really wasn’t as bad as I expected.” Lance smiled, unclipping himself from the pilot seat. “In fact… that was a little boring to be honest!” Lance laughed, he was so surprised at this admission, sure it was only a simulator, so maybe the real thing would be more adrenaline inducing. They swapped roles a couple of times, Pidge as navigations officer, which of course she was incredible at, Hunk as pilot, which was mostly only for fun, he lasted about five minutes before quickly having to excuse himself. 

Lance was now sat in the gunner’s position, his hands wrapped around the triggers for the guns, his hands felt like they fit there perfectly. Pidge was still in the navigation position, Hunk was at the comms and Keith was finally in his place, the pilot’s seat, he closed his eyes and leant back in the chair, taking it in, he was comfortable. Lance smiled, they seemed like the perfect fit, they all slipped into their roles so perfectly that Lance couldn’t help but feel like a spare part. They started the simulator once more and Lance finally learnt what all the fuss was about, Keith was incredibly talented. Suddenly the enemy ships appeared once more and Lance felt a rush throughout his body, before he knew it he was destroying ships quicker than they arrived, he was lost in it all so quickly he didn’t even notice that Keith was indulging him like he had. Keith was moving the ship quickly around the appearing enemy ships and Lance destroyed them quickly.

“Holy shit.” Pidge whispered, Lance almost didn’t hear it, obviously she hadn’t seen Keith pilot a ship either, he was incredible. There was no way that Lance could compete with him. Before they knew it, all the enemies were destroyed, the mission was complete and the simulator was finished. There was dead silence.

“Now I see what all the fuss was about!” Lance spun in his seat to face the others, only to see that they were all staring at him “W-what?”

Lance thought for a second that they too had realised that Lance was essentially useless to them, the three of them worked so well together, they must have beaten that simulator in record time. Lance tried to keep up his smile as he met their eyes.

“Lance.” Hunk was… breathless? His cheeks were red, one hand on his comms earpiece the other supporting him on the console in front of him. Even Keith’s mouth was open and Pidge had a huge grin on her face.

“LANCE!” Pidge cried, tearing herself out of her chair and racing over to him once more. “HOW DID YOU NEVER TELL US?!” Pidge was gushing over him more than she had before.

“W-what do you mean?” Lance stammered, surprised by the sudden change in atmosphere. Hunk was stuck still and Keith was leant against his chair, smiling.

“In all the time I’ve been in this simulator,” Pidge started, laughter staining her words. “With a million different pilots, a million different gunners, and I have NEVER seen ANYONE, destroy every. Single. Enemy ship before!”

Lance suddenly realised, in all of the simulation videos, he’d never seen all of the enemy ships destroyed either. Suddenly he was grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh my god!” He squealed, Pidge gripped his hands and they were almost dancing around the simulator.

“You’re an incredible marksman!” Pidge cried happily. “You’re our gunner! You’re the most talented gunner I think I’ve ever seen!”

Keith looked like he’d won the lottery and Hunk was still stood stock still.

Maybe Lance wasn’t as useless as he thought he was, maybe he could be a useful part of the team.

“Nice work, sharpshooter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaay! My boy!  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	11. Constellations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay!” Keith tried to diffuse the tension. “What constellations can you see?”
> 
> Lance lifted the pen and pressed it to the dot on the glass where he could see a brighter light through it, the glass lit up where he pressed.
> 
> “Woah.” Lance gasped as he began tracing across the glass, of course, he spelt out his own name. “The most important star of all, me.” Keith rolled his eyes but laughed. The lines spelling his name flashed red and disappeared.
> 
> “See, even this glass thing thinks you’re an idiot.” Keith laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seld-indulgent fluff

It was a week before Lance’s re-sit and Lance was sat on the floor of his bedroom, leant against the side of his bed, papers and books strewn around him on the floor. Keith was laid on the floor on his stomach, his head being propped up by one of Lance’s pillows. He was talking away and Lance was only half listening. Lance knew everything, he’d even started his essay to submit for the following year, he just wasn’t ready for these tutoring sessions to end. Keith could feel him staring, so he turned his head and raised an eyebrow.

“You know everything don’t you.” Keith laughed shaking his head, Lance was too busy staring at his freckles to notice, or respond to what Keith was saying. 

Keith was fucking beautiful and Lance was so close to freaking out about it, but he was trying so hard to stop himself. Keith was the one thing, the one person that he trusted more than anyone else, he’d never thought he’d be able to confide in someone in such a way. It was the grossest thing that Lance had ever had the courage to admit to himself, that he could be rendered so gooey by anyone. But he didn’t want to ruin it, he didn’t want to ruin the relationship they had by bringing his stupid feelings into it.

“Lance?” Keith broke Lance out of his daydreaming stupor, “You okay in there, buddy?”

“Y-yeah, sorry…” Lance trailed off, not really sure what he was going to say to cover himself. “Just trying to… control my nerves I guess?” Keith raised an eyebrow, not really believing him. He looked away to glance at his watch quickly and Lance’s stomach dropped.

“Ah, jeez, it’s getting late.” Keith spoke, he sat up and started collecting his papers and books and putting them in his bag, getting ready to leave, he pulled on his jacket. Lance didn’t know how, but he had to stop him. “Sorry, the sunlight outside is really deceiving, it looks much earlier than it is.”

“H-hey,” Lance protested quietly, a little shy. “You don’t have to rush off so soon, I don’t mind… I was thinking actually… y’know, since you’ve been tutoring we’ve not just hung out as… friends?”

Keith considered him for a moment, looking like he was having a serious debate with himself, Lance almost regretted saying anything, seeing how uncomfortable Keith looked. “Yeah… that’d be n-okay. What did you have in mind?”

Lance panicked, he hadn’t expected to get this far, and now he… didn’t actually have a clue. He just really didn’t want Keith to go just yet. Suddenly it hit him.

“We could watch a movie?” Lance smirked, looking up at Keith cheekily. “I think that a certain person loves a certain Disney princess movie?” Keith’s face turned a delightful shade of red as he spluttered.

“I uh, love is a strong word really????” Keith stammered, very hot and red in the face. “I uh, I definitely have an appreciation for the character designs? And the… songs? I wouldn’t say love, love… you’re uh, really taking it out of context, I was trying to make you feel better and uh…”

Lance would have liked to let Keith continue his nervous denial, just because it was so funny to see him flustered for once. “Hey, Keith, chill out, it’s one of my favourites, you don’t have to be embarrassed.” Keith’s demeanour relaxed a little bit, Lance couldn’t help but laugh at him. Keith dropped his bag heavily on the ground and folded his arms.

“Quit laughing at me!” He complained, which only made Lance laugh more. “I’m serious! I was trying to make you feel better and this is how you repay me?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… you just looked so cute all flustered like that.” Lance laughed, only realising after he’d said it exactly what he had said, and Keith was back to being red and flustered.

“J-just sit down and we can watch the film.” Lance stuttered, equally as flustered now. Keith eyed him warily and sat down on the floor beside him. Lance noticed the gap that Keith had left between them and inhaled a deep breath, he grabbed his laptop and started loading up the film, Keith had gone very quiet.

Ever since Lance’s elation after completing an extremely successful simulator and beating a college record (Pidge basically screamed this after hacking into the school’s records) he’d settled into a contented buzz, everything was just, so positive. Since he’d given up on letting his pride and ego rule his life he’d stopped getting in his own way so much. Sure it was difficult, but it seemed like he was always laughing, always smiling at something. It was so nice, and he owed Keith so much. He valued their relationship so much, Keith made him want to be better, not just for Keith but for himself. Lance was feeling sick just thinking about it, it was so pathetically gross.

 

Keith was DYING, he thought he might ACTUALLY pass out and die, his heart was racing, his palms were sweaty. He was very hot, and Lance was suddenly very close. Keith all but leapt up and Lance looked up at him confused.

“What’s up?” Lance asked, looking a little hurt.

“N-nothing, I just uh… need a drink. Want anything?” Keith made his excuses, it was true though, he thought he might dehydrate himself if he kept sweating so much, Lance shook his head and Keith slipped out of the room quickly. 

He rushed into the kitchen and washed his face with cold water and sucked in a deep breath, not even noticing that Pidge was sat at her laptop, looking at him with one eyebrow raised. He nearly gave her evils and had to stop himself, she hadn’t even said anything.

“Bit hot? And bothered?” Pidge asked, smirking widely. Okay, now Keith definitely gave her evils, this boy was actually going to give him a heart attack. 

Something had changed, dramatically. It was just the way that Lance looked at him, like there was so much fondness in his eyes. Keith was actually going to pass out, why now? Why when Keith knew that it… just couldn’t happen, of course he wanted to kiss him, or even so much more, but he couldn’t.  
Keith felt like he was going to cry, grabbed himself a glass and some water and went back to his death.

 

Keith was back with his water, his cheeks pink and beads of sweat appearing on his forehead, he looked uncomfortable.

“Yo, Keith, you okay? You look… unwell?” Lance asked, he nearly reached out to touch his forehead, he looked like he was running a fever.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine, it’s just… warm in here.” Keith stammered quietly. Lance looked at him, he was still wrapped up in his jacket. Lance gathered he wasn’t willing to take that off, as much as he’d like him to, and everything else for that matter, Lance chastised himself mentally and stood up to open a window, it was pretty warm in here, but Keith looked like he was about to pass out.

“You do realise you’re still wearing your jacket?”

Keith glanced down, like he’d only just realised it was still there. He looked back up at Lance, who shot him a look and he quickly pulled it off. Lance sat back down next to him, Keith wouldn’t make eye contact with him. Lance noticed the length of the back of Keith’s hair was sticking to his neck, suddenly he had a compulsion to touch his mullet, remembering what Pidge and Hunk said about it being the softest thing they’d ever touched, so he indulged himself, he ran his fingers through it with the intention of tying it up so it wasn’t too hot. God, it was literally the softest thing he’d ever touched.

“W-what are you doing?!” Keith cried, but he didn’t move away, he just looked a little shocked.

“I’ve got younger sisters, I’m used to tying up hair, and it’ll help keep your temperature down.” Lance tried to sound casual. “Because you look as if you’re about to pass out.” Keith didn’t say anything, he just closed his eyes and held out his wrist, Lance peeled the hairband on his wrist off and tied his hair up. It was so innocent and yet, so weirdly intimate. Lance finished and admired his handwork, Keith turned his head and looked at Lance, their faces inches apart Lance was so close to leaning in but he stopped himself. If he did work up the courage to kiss him, it wasn’t going to be like the last time, lazy and sloppy.

Lance gulped and moved away, grabbed the laptop and leapt on his bed. Keith looked at him curiously and Lance just patted the bed beside him, the floor wasn’t massively comfortable, and Lance was likely to fall asleep, he didn’t want to wake up with a crick in his neck. Keith followed suit and tried to look relaxed. As the sun began to set at Last, Keith’s demeanour became more and more relaxed, he’d unfolded his arms and was laid on his side, using a pillow to prop himself up to watch the film, he looked like he was trying to stop himself from singing along, so he was humming softly. Lance could feel his eyes getting heavier and heavier, he fell asleep looking at Keith’s contented face.

 

Keith woke up and if he thought he was going to die before, he was definitely dead now. R.I.P Keith. Lance’s laptop was on the floor and Lance himself had managed to wrap himself around Keith, he was sleeping soundly and so beautifully, the tiniest smile on his face, his head resting on Keith’s chest. Keith worried that he might wake him up with the rate of his heartbeat. Keith figured he had two options, try and go back to sleep and relish in the contact, or… something else, remove himself from the situation. More than anything else, Keith wanted to kiss that stupid sleeping face, take the hands that were wrapped around his torso and clasp his wrists together over Lance’s head, to just indulge the stupid fantasy and kiss his stupid face and explore his stupid body… and Keith had to STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT. Because now it wasn’t just his heartbeat that was threatening to wake Lance up, Keith had to get out.

He very gently untangled Lance’s legs from his and removed his arms from his waist and replaced himself with a pillow. He stood up and glanced down at Lance’s adorable sleeping form once more, he promised himself he wouldn’t get carried away with these stupid feelings, knowing that he couldn’t do anything about it, and now he really wanted to cry. Keith could honestly say that he’d fallen for this idiot, this… obnoxious, ridiculous, dramatic, beautiful idiot. Keith could feel his heart breaking, he couldn’t do or say anything before Lance’s exam. He left the room and took a deep breath.

 

Lance awoke with a start, he’d been having a glorious dream that he couldn’t really remember when he noticed that Keith was nowhere to be found. Lance panicked, what had he done in his sleep? Lance knew he was a cuddly sleeper, but he wasn’t sure about… anything else? He’d scared him off, taken things to far without meaning to? Maybe Keith woke up and Lance was all cuddled up with him and he was so uncomfortable that he left. He leapt out of bed and raced into the kitchen to see Keith stood behind the cooker, making breakfast, his hair messily tied up and… topless?????

It look Lance a couple of seconds that felt like minutes to take in the fact that Hunk was there also, and staring at him staring at Keith’s topless form, only Hunk looked like he was about to burst into tears.

“Hunk, you okay buddy?” Lance asked, approaching him, Hunk backed away slightly but managed to keep his tears in, he nodded. Keith didn’t move.

“Y-yeah, thanks Lance.” Hunk sniffled.

“You, really don’t look okay, has something happened?” Lance reached out and touched his shoulder, Hunk took in a deep breath and shut his eyes, Keith looked exceptionally tense.

“My cat died.” Hunk burst out, Keith let out a big breath of air.

“Cat?” Lance asked, a little unsympathetically, never remembering Hunk mentioning a cat before.

“Well, my mom’s cat, back home? I uh… yeah my parents called me this morning.” Hunk flushed, itching his face, trying to look innocent. “He uh, went crazy, scratched up the dog, they had to have him put down.”

“That’s terrible!” Lance exclaimed. “I’m sorry, buddy, what was it’s name?”

“Uh… what?” Hunk looked a little caught off guard.

“The… cat? What’s the cat’s name?”

“Uh… Amarillo?”

“You named your cat… yellow? In Spanish?”

“Y-yeah, it’s my mom’s favourite colour?” Hunk wouldn’t look Lance in the eyes, his cheeks pink “and her favourite language?” 

Lance had a feeling that something was going on, but he didn’t know what. And he guessed he wasn’t going to get any real answers so he just decided to ignore it, though his curiosity was piquing. 

“Well, I’m sorry that, Amarillo? Died, that’s really awful.” Lance spoke sympathetically, Keith had a smirk on his face as he cooked.

“What’s so funny?” Lance asked, looking at Keith, who quickly glanced up at him. “Also! Why are you topless??” Keith stopped and flushed deep red.

“I was hot? And… I just didn’t realise you were such an animal person?” Keith said, a little embarrassed.

“What? I’m so good with animals!” Lance exclaimed. “Me and cats have this weird connection, they all just seem to love me!”

“Sureee, okay.” Keith teased, not looking up from what he was doing, Lance simply pouted and sat down at the breakfast bar, he suddenly noticed that Pidge wasn’t there.

“Hey where’s Pidge?” Lance asked, Hunk and Keith exchanged a look.

“She’s at the library, y’know, putting the finishing touches on her essay?” Hunk didn’t sound so sure.

“Speaking of the library!” Keith quickly changed the subject, plating up the eggs and bacon he’d made. Lance’s favourite. “We should get down there and start drafting your essay? Get some information together?” 

“Oh yeah, that sounds good.” Lance replied, excited that Keith wanted to do something with him, he didn’t have the heart to tell him he was already nearly finished.

“I might just have to pop home, and um… grab another shirt?” Keith gestured to himself, which Lance really wished he hadn’t done, because now he was staring. He’d tried to stop himself since he’d entered the room and now Keith was making it very difficult to look away. His shoulders were littered with freckles as well, Lance noticed that all though Keith was slim, there was a slight doughiness to his physique purely from the summer where they’d been eating well and not training. It was too hot to go out and train in any case. But he was perfect and Lance just wanted to kiss him all over.

“Hey, I still have that shirt of yours?” Lance suddenly realised. “I never gave it back, and I’ve not worn it.” Lance was lying. “So you can have it back?”

“Yeah, okay, that works for me?” Keith finished up his food and placed his plate in the sink. Maybe Lance could pretend that he’d lost the shirt, so that Keith could walk around topless in the sun all day. Lance pretended he wasn’t fantasising about that, finished his breakfast and grabbed the t-shirt, it didn’t smell like Keith anymore, much to his disappointment. He handed the shirt over to Keith and he pulled it on. Keith, with a strained look on his face, quickly turned, grabbed his shoes and left through the front door.

“Woah wait up!” Lance yelled, pulling on his shoes halfway through the door. As he shut the door behind him, he thought he’d heard something from inside, and chose to ignore it. Keith slowed down and waited for Lance to join him.

 

Keith watched Lance descend the steps, a contented smile on his face and Keith was convinced that this was either heaven or hell, he couldn’t tell, but one thing was certain, he was 100% dead. All he could smell was Lance on his shirt, and Keith was half tempted to take it off and put his other shirt on, if it weren’t for the gigantic stain from where Lance had drooled on him, and he certainly wasn’t going to embarrass Lance by doing that. Lance just looked so damn happy, Keith was elated that he was the reason (he hoped) that Lance was so light, but he had to stop himself from encouraging it. They headed towards the library, a good, quiet, neutral zone, they stepped into the library and Lance was glancing around.

“Hey, I thought you said Pidge was here?” Lance asked, Keith froze, his stomach flipped, he’d forgotten about that little lie. 

“Uh, I think we must have just missed her?” Keith spluttered, Lance shrugged his shoulders, believing it, Keith couldn’t believe how much he was getting away with this morning. 

They found a table and some books and sat down, Lance pulled up his chair VERY close to Keith and just stared at him. Keith was exceptionally hot, he wasn’t wearing a jacket and the librarian who was shooting them looks wasn’t going to appreciate him going topless. Keith only just noticed people in the library gazing them affectionately, and then it hit him, these were all the same people that thought Lance had confessed to him. Keith looked at Lance who was looking at him dreamily, and realised they probably weren’t going to get any work done.

“OK, I can see we aren’t going to get anything done today! Maybe you deserve a break!” Keith exclaimed loudly, people were starting to whisper things and stare and he had to leave. Keith stood up abruptly and walked out, a very confused looking Lance in tow.

“You okay Keith?” Lance asked, innocently, leaning very close to Keith now. It was only now that Keith was noticing how tall Lance was, it felt like he was towering over him all of a sudden.

“Y-yeah, it’s just…” Keith faltered. “It’s really hot, and you’ve been working really hard, so I thought maybe we could do something else today?”

Lance grinned happily, and thought for a second. “So you’ve lived here… what… six months?” Lance pondered. Keith shrugged, not really sure where he was going with this. “So, why don’t you show me your favourite place?”

“My favourite place?” Keith stuttered, totally caught off guard. “What do you mean? My favourite place?”

“Yeah, you must have a favourite place?” Lance asked. “Or have you not had a chance to… explore further than the campus?”

“No, its not that its just... I've never been asked that before so I’ve never even thought about it… I guess.” Keith rubbed the back of his neck, what was Lance thinking? “I uh, I guess… I’ve been one place? That I really loved?”

“Oh yeah?!” Lance looked excited.

“Y-yeah, the science museum? Just outside of town? They have an amazing space exhibit.” Keith tried to sound not embarrassed. “Since y’know, they’re so near one of the best colleges in the country for space exploration.”

“Aw man! Yes! Let’s go! I’ve not been since I moved here!” Lance was VERY excited now, Keith let himself chuckle at Lance’s enthusiasm.

 

Lance was super excited. He just wanted to know everything about Keith, and to him it kind of felt like a date almost? He was just looking forward to spending some time with him outside of an educational capacity. Maybe he was pushing his luck, but at this point he was over it, he just wanted to see Keith happy. They climbed into Keith’s car, Lance had a weird moment of a sad nostalgia as he remembered the last time he was in this car. He regretted that every time he thought about it, but he also thought about how much had happened and changed since then, it was a little cathartic. Keith looked like he was thinking about the same thing, except he was smirking a little.

“What’s so funny?” Lance asked, wondering exactly what he was thinking about.

“I was just thinking about how loudly I yelled at you last time we were both in here.” Keith chuckled. “And the look on your face, it was like no one had ever shouted at you before.”

“Oh no, it’s not the first time anyone’s shouted at me.” Lance admitted. “But… it’s the first time I’ve ever cared about what someone had to say… I guess.” Keith gulped audibly and pulled off, his cheeks a little pink, his face determined. Lance was beginning to enjoy making Keith flustered, even more than making him angry.

They were silent for the rest of the car journey, save for some off-key singing care of Lance. They arrived at the museum, it was the middle of the week and it looked as though it was quiet. Keith parked the car and climbed out, a smile already appearing on his face. They walked to entrance and Keith went and paid for tickets, they entered the main body of the museum and Lance was enthralled. They had refurbed it quite substantially since he was last there, the ceiling was glittering with lights. They walked through an archway in the shape of a rocket ship, it looked like this museum was dedicated entirely to space exploration now. The first room was a room full of space engines that had been dissected so that you could see all the innards.

“I really admire Hunk and Pidge, to be able to look at this stuff and know exactly what they’re doing with it.” Keith commented, reading the description on the plaque next to the exhibit. “As a pilot you forget to appreciate how complicated this all is.”

“Yeah, it’s really quite beautiful isn’t it?” Lance stood beside him, admiring the handiwork. “I’ve seen Pidge build better though.”

“Really?” Keith asked, genuinely interested.

“Yeah, as part of our first year one of our projects was to build something, anything.” Lance started, smiling at the memory. “I think that’s how me and Pidge got as close as we did. Although we lived together, Pidge was quiet and… didn’t seem like she wanted to interact. So when we were partnered up she had no choice, and we just, got along famously.”

Keith was watching him, admiring him babbling about his friends.

“So she made an engine.” Lance shrugged like it was nothing. “We walked to the local scrap yard, paid off the guy that owned it and scavenged.” Lance chuckled, facepalming. “You should have seen us, sleeves rolled up, jeans rolled up, pockets full of random junk that Pidge told me she needed, I got a BAD infection from something I got cut on but it was worth it. Pidge was so happy, and we passed with flying colours.”

“Wow, that’s amazing.” Keith smiled. “You’re a good friend.”

Lance blushed, they walked a little further into the museum and continued looking at all the engine parts, the descriptions on the plaques were going deeper into detail about how all these things work.

“I think she was planning on making it into a robot.” Lance continued. “She always wanted a robot buddy, I think she was trying to harness the technology of drones, but more sophisticated. So that she could have a little robot guy flying around beside her.”

“That’s a nice idea.” Keith smiled, but he also looked a little sad. 

As they left that section of the museum they walked into an area full of portraits of famous astronauts, Lance’s favourite was Laika. He stood for a little while staring at the dog. If a dog could get to space, he definitely could. But hopefully Lance would live for longer than a week once he got there. They moved on from the famous astronauts, to the room full of sophisticated wax-work figurines of aliens that astronauts claimed they’d seen. There was one that really struck the both of them, the plaque bellow it read ‘Galra’. It’s skin/fur? was deep purple and it’s eyes were bright yellow. There was something about it that both of them were wary of, it felt like it was watching them, it’s eyes seemed to be following them wherever they went. They moved along quickly and went into an exhibit that was dedicated completely to an urban legend that had existed for longer than either of them could imagine. There had been stone carvings discovered in a desert not too far from here that indicated something of a powerful weapon called ‘Voltron’. There was no evidence that it actually existed but Lance loved the stories about it. The museum had taken the stone carvings and made a huge version of what they imagined the Lion? Would look like, it was HUGE and blue, it just so happened to be Lance’s favourite shade of blue, its eyes were yellow and it’s claws were colossal and sharp looking, it looked magnificent, albeit a little basic.

“If this were true!” Lance gushed happily. Keith nodded too, he’d read all the stories as a child too and fell in love with the idea of it, a huge weapon of some description that would go across galaxies, save lives and bring peace. It would be amazing if it were true.

They left the Voltron exhibit and headed into an exhibit dedicated to the constellations in their solar system, it was almost pitch black in the room, but the ceiling was twinkling, there were thousands and thousands of tiny lights, but every now and again there were brighter lights, mapping out the constellations, but for some reason they weren’t joined together, Lance glanced around and then noticed there were two reclining chairs with a sheet of glass suspended above them.

“Hey! Look!” Lance pointed, Keith glanced over, Lance quickly slipped into one of the chairs and leant back. The sheet of glass had dots all over it that matched the locations of the brighter lights, and laid back like Lance was it all came into alignment. Keith wandered over and pointed out a small pen-like object that hung off the glass, Lance grabbed it and looked at the end, it was glowing white.

“C’mon! Sit here!” Lance smiled, patting the chair next to him, Keith hesitated but eventually sat down, they lay there together gazing through the glass to the ceiling. It was very dark and they were very close.

“Okay!” Keith tried to diffuse the tension. “What constellations can you see?” 

Lance lifted the pen and pressed it to the dot on the glass where he could see a brighter light through it, the glass lit up where he pressed. 

“Woah.” Lance gasped as he began tracing across the glass, of course, he spelt out his own name. “The most important star of all, me.” Keith rolled his eyes but laughed. The lines spelling his name flashed red and disappeared.

“See, even this glass thing thinks you’re an idiot.” Keith laughed, Lance pouted and decided to write out Keith’s name, they watched it stay there for a second before it too flashed red and disappeared. Keith watched Lance as he drew a little heart on the glass and he died inside again. It seemed like it stayed on the glass longer than their names, but after a while it too flashed red and disappeared, but a couple of the lines from it stayed.

“Hey, we’re on to something!” Lance laughed happily, Keith was trying to stare through the glass to see if he could see anything, the lines that remained were making up the big dipper, he grabbed the pen out of Lance’s hand and traced it out, it flashed green and remained, a small 1 appeared on Keith’s side of the screen.

“Oh! Is this a competition?!” Lance giggled, he glanced around and grabbed a second pen that was attached, they made it into a little competition between them both, Keith just cinched it by drawing Canis Minor, although he was impressed at Lance’s knowledge of the constellations. They clambered out from underneath the glass and Keith glanced at his watch.

“Oh shit, c’mon!” He grabbed Lance’s wrist and dragged him, Lance stared at his hand on his wrist and pulled him to a stop, he unwrapped Keith’s hand from his wrist and slipped his hand there instead. Keith flushed and looked at him, a combination of excitement and terror in his eyes, Lance smiled, Keith had forgotten for a second what they were doing and then quickly spun around and raced off, dragging Lance behind him, still clutching his hand. They came upon a room with an open door way with curtains behind it, Keith pushed through and they were in what looked like an extremely empty auditorium.

“Is this one of those light shows?” Lance asked as Keith gave the person at the door their tickets. “When did you get those?”

“When I bought the tickets, y’know, when I paid for you?” Keith teased as they went to find seats.

“Hey, you’ve got a paying job, I’m a poor and down on my luck student!” Lance protested, they found seats in the middle of the auditorium and sat down. “Plus, doesn’t it feel good to treat the person you asked out in the first place?”

Keith stopped for a second and then whipped his head around. “HEY! You asked me where I wanted to go! You technically asked me!”

“It was your idea to go out rather than study!” Lance corrected. “Therefore, you asked me out!”

A weird silence fell between them, not an awkward silence, more a silence of things left unsaid. The lights dropped even lower, indicating the beginning of the show.

It was one of those cheesy laser-light shows, but Keith loved it un-ironically. The crappy rock music and the flashing lights, telling the story of Voltron, the evil emperor Zarkon and the Galra empire trying to take over the universe. Lance was staring at Keith who was just lapping this up, he looked so happy and Lance wanted to kiss him so badly, he looked like a kid at Christmas. Lance was having a real debate with himself, he’d held his hand and he felt things he’d never felt before, so how was it going to feel if he actually kissed him. He was thinking about it too much and it was too late, the lights came up.

“Ah! I know it’s cheesy but I love-“ Keith turned around and locked eyes with Lance, who was staring unashamedly at his lips, Keith stood up. “Come on, it’s over… we’ve got to go.” He was quiet and subdued all of a sudden. Lance followed him out, as they exited the museum, Lance didn’t realise how late it was, how long were they in there for? It felt like no time at all, Lance’s heart was full. Keith however, wouldn’t look at him, Lance hoped that maybe he was just shy? Or maybe Lance was reading things completely wrong. Keith dropped him off and quietly said goodbye.

“I had… a lot of fun with you today.” Keith all but whimpered. “I’m gonna be working most of this week, make sure you pop in before your exam so I can wish you luck, ok?”

“I had fun too, thanks for… sharing that with me.” Lance blushed happily, he wanted to take Keith’s hand again, but was worried he’d push it too far. “And I will.” Lance climbed out of the car and waved at him as he left. He watched the car disappear into the distance and he was so giddy he actually wanted to dance. He skipped up the stairs into the apartment and saw that Pidge and Hunk were in the kitchen chatting seriously. They stopped as soon as they saw him, but Lance was too happy to even notice.

“Hey, where have you been all day?” Hunk asked. Lance practically danced into the kitchen.

“Oh nowhere, Keith just asked me out, and we went to the space museum just out of town.” Lance prattled happily.

“Oh, he actually asked you out? Like on a date?” Pidge had her hands on the breakfast bar, staring him down, very serious.

“Well, no, but he did ask me if I wanted to do something other than study today?” Lance thought about it. It definitely felt more than just friends hanging out, but he hadn’t technically said it was a date. “I asked him to take me to his favourite place, so we went to the space museum, and it was amazing!”

“I’m so happy for you Lance.” Hunk smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“What’s going on? Are you still upset about Amarillo?” Lance asked, finally detecting the sour mood in the room.

“Yeah, I just, can’t believe I’m never going to see him again.” Hunk’s shoulder’s started shaking as he desperately tried not to cry. Pidge’s eyes were welling up also.

“Pidge? You too? What’s wrong with everyone?” Lance was so confused, why was Pidge upset over Hunk’s cat?!

“I’m sorry, I just.” Pidge sniffled through her tears. “I just really, really love cats, it’s so sad that I’m never gonna see him again either!”

“Again? When have you met Hunks cat? I’m so confused!” Lance was starting to wonder if he was just REALLY dense.

“I mean I’m never gonna get a chance meet him.” Pidge sniffled again. “Excuse me.” And she rushed out of the room, tears pouring down her cheeks, which then made Hunk start so he ran away too. Lance was REALLY missing something.

 

Keith walked into the coffee shop, his face blank, like he was a possum pretending to be dead. Allura noticed as he walked in.

“Hey Keith, you didn’t come home last night, everything okay?” She asked, as he got closer she noticed his face. “Oh god, what happened?”

“I just had the nicest day with Lance.” Keith spoke, his voice was vacant.

“Then why do you look so… down about it?” She asked, confused.

“Because I think I’m in love with him.” Keith balled up his fist and slammed it on the counter between them. “And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“What do you mean?!” Allura exclaimed, suddenly a lot of information was pouring out of Keith, she turned to Shiro. “I’m taking Keith upstairs, cover for me.” Shiro was too busy making coffee to notice so he just whistled his approval. Allura motioned for Keith to follow her upstairs, she made him a drink and sat him down on the sofa.

“Okay, let it out.” Allura spoke, and as if from nowhere Keith was sobbing, she’d never seen Keith display much emotion so it was a bit of a shock. “What happened? Does Lance not feel the same way?”

“No, I-I think he does.” Keith sobbed, his shoulders shaking. “I… just I can’t… I can’t let him be in love with me.”

“But why not?” Allura was confused, Keith without a word stood up and disappeared into his bedroom and returned with a letter, he handed it to her, she looked at the stamp on the front and looked visibly shaken. “They aren’t suing you are they?”

Keith shook his head and Allura opened the envelope, within it was a piece of paper that had obviously been read and reread, the edges were worn and crinkled.

“Oh… oh my god.” Allura’s heart was in her throat. She totally got it now. “They want to… hire you? After you broke into their property? They want to hire you?!”

Keith nodded, he knew he should be thrilled and he was, he’d responded as soon as he’d received the letter telling them that he’d be honoured. It meant he’d be fast tracked within a year, and be a fighter pilot of the highest order. He’d be in space before he knew it and working for the Galaxy Garrison, most of what they did was super secretive, which meant aliens and opportunities to see some amazing things and do amazing things. The main reason he hadn’t told Lance because he was afraid he’d be jealous, he felt so bad that it was the reason he’d offered to help tutor him. But now he didn’t want to tell him, because as presumptuous as it was, he didn’t want to break his heart. He certainly didn’t want to tell him before his exam, it was a little self-obsessed and obnoxious, but Lance had come so far, he didn’t want him to fail because he was distracted. He’d told Hunk and Pidge, and swore them to secrecy, Pidge was devastated and Hunk was in pieces, they were so happy for him, but so sad that they’d never be a team all together. That was nearly enough for Keith to give it up, but he knew that he HAD to do this he knew it was selfish but nothing was going to stop him.

Not even the fact that he was in love with Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops.  
> Tumblr/ foxsmo-lder


	12. Midnight Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith,  
> If stars would fall every time I would think of you, the midnight sky would soon be empty  
> Thank you

Lance was strolling down the pathway, he could have skipped if he really wanted to. Because his re-sit was today, and he’d never been more confident or sure of anything in his entire life. Well, except one thing, and today was also the day that he would confirm… that something. He was more nervous of that something than the actual exam, he had that down, he had no worries about that. He found himself outside the coffee shop, clutching his essay in his hands, nervously shaking but trying desperately to appear confident and cocky. He saw, with relief, that Keith was working behind the counter, chatting happily to some customers, Lance was reminded of how far Keith had come, socially. He opened the door and approached the counter, holding his essay nervously. He waited patiently for the customers in front of him to be served and awkwardly advanced toward the counter, Keith looked up and noticed him, his face started off surprised and fell into a happy smile that reminded Lance of why he was here.

“Morning!” Lance tried to say brightly. “So, today’s the day.”

“It certainly is!” Keith sounded like he was trying to sound bright too. “You nervous?”

“Y-yeah,” Lance said, but he knew it was a totally different kind of nerves. “Hey, can I borrow you for a second, I have something to give to you.”

Keith gulped and went a bit pale, he turned his head to Shiro, who just nodded solemnly. Lance was confused by the sombre atmosphere. Keith followed Lance to a table in front of the window, the sun was low in the sky, but beautiful nonetheless.

“Here.” Lance handed the paper over, it was crumpled by his accidental nervous clutching. “It’s my essay…” Keith moved to open it. “W-wait until I’m gone to read it, okay?” Keith closed it and nodded nervously.

“Okay…” Keith looked tense, Lance felt like he was losing his nerve a little. Keith looked down at his watch quickly. “Hey, you better go, you’re going to be late.”

Lance suddenly leapt up. “Oh god yeah, sorry! Thanks! I’ll, pop in after I’ve finished, yeah?”

“Sure,” Keith smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes still. “Good luck, buddy, I’m sure you’ll nail it.”

Lance nodded, and then in some crazy burst of confidence, leant down and kissed Keith on the cheek, it was quick and chaste but it gave him the confidence he needed to go in there and show that exam that he meant business. As he raced out, he looked back to see Keith pink and holding a hand to his cheek.

 

Keith sighed heavily and slumped back in his chair, he watched Lance almost skip down the pathway to the university building. He caught Shiro staring at him with sympathetic eyes and Keith wanted to cry again. He was wallowing so much that he almost forgot to look at Lance’s essay. He slowly opened the papers and saw that at the top of the paper, was a hand-written note in Lance’s scrawling but beautiful handwriting.

Keith,  
If stars would fall every time I would think of you, the midnight sky would soon be empty  
Thank you

 

Lance stared around him, most of the exam hall was empty save for a couple of other students doing re-sits. He stood up, carrying his exam paper with him to the end of the hall, and handed it in to the uninterested looking woman at the desk, who grunted in acknowledgement. The easy part was over now. As he exited the hall, he noticed Iverson, the head of their course who was an ex-garrison fighter pilot, who noticed him in kind.

“Lance.” He commanded almost, stopping hard in front of Lance, forcing him to stop too and gaze up at the one eye he kept open.

“Sir,” Lance responded, politely.

“How’d the exam go?” He asked, only half-interested in the response.

Lance half-shrugged, trying not to be smug, because he knew already he’d nailed it.

“You seem confident, luckily for you, you should find out in a couple of days. Have you submitted your essay for next year?” Iverson continued his barrage of question.

“Y-yes sir!” Lance responded, he’d dropped it off that morning before giving a copy to Keith.

“Did you decide what you wanted to specialise in?” Iverson continued.

“I’ve decided to be a gunner sir,” Lance smiled just thinking about it, Iverson grunted and nodded, closing the other eye.

“Excellent, I saw your simulation results, exceptional.” He praised. “It’s a shame that the four of you won’t be all together again, you make an incredible team.”

“E-excuse me sir?” Lance’s stomach dropped, terrified that Iverson was suddenly going to turn around and say he was going to be held back a year anyway. Iverson’s working eye opened.

“Your friend? The one that transferred? The flight prodigy?” Iverson looked confused. 

“Keith?” Lance panicked, what the hell was going on?

“Keith! He’s been snapped up by the garrison!” Iverson sounded a little exasperated. “They admired his tenacity and saw his incredible results and simulations and decided they couldn’t let something like that slip away.”

“I uh…” Lance faltered.

“You look shocked, I thought you were close?” Iverson grunted, barely interested anymore, he clapped Lance on the back and headed off down the corridor.

“Me too…” 

 

Keith was finishing up for the day, he was surprised that Lance hadn’t stopped by, it had been hours since the exam, he had to have finished, Keith was wiping down the counter when he heard his phone, he turned and opened the message, it was from Lance.

Lance_ What the hell.

Keith panicked, had Lance done badly and was worried about it?

Keith_ What’s up? Everything okay? Did it not go well?

Lance_ No, the exam was fine, but I bumped into Iverson.

Keith was still confused, what did the head of their course have to do with anything?

Keith_ And?

Lance_ Are you serious? Are you still playing dumb? Now?!

Keith_ What are you talking about?

Lance_ I know you’re leaving.

Keith felt like his heart was in his throat, oh god no. This was NOT how he wanted Lance to find out, and he sounded pissed.

Keith_ Lance, I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you.

Lance_ Then why didn’t you?

Lance_ Did you think I’d be jealous?

Keith couldn’t respond, he couldn’t even deny that it was the reason, at first. But after everything, he didn’t want to tell Lance because it would mean… that it was real, and that it was happening. Lance not knowing kept his feet on the ground, in a weird selfish way. Lance treated him like everything was normal and it was the one thing keeping him from freaking out about it. Tears threatened to fall as he stared at his phone screen, not knowing what to say in response.

Lance_ Keith? You’d better have a good explanation.

Keith_ I swear I do.

Lance_ In that case, you can give it to me.

Keith tried to ignore the double entendre and threw off his apron, shouting an excuse at Shiro and disappearing down the road. Maybe it would have been easier for him to jump in his car but there he was at Lance’s front door, red faced and out of breath, he hadn’t run like that in the longest time, he knocked weakly at the door and waited, waited for his doom.

Eventually, the door opened and Lance stared down at him, his face unreadable. Keith couldn’t tell how he was feeling.

“Lance, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you!” Keith shouted breathlessly. “I didn’t want to, distract you from your exam. At first, I was scared you would be jealous, and that you wouldn’t talk to me again once you’d found out.”

Lance just laughed and shook his head, unbelieving.

“I’m sorry, I should have told you.” Keith cried, still a little breathless. “It was selfish and stupid.”

“Yeah, it was stupid.” Lance finally spoke. “It hurts that you think so little of me, apparently.”

“N-no, it wasn’t like that.” Keith desperately protested, his heart breaking all over again. Lance finally looked up at him, with a stupid grin on his face.

“I’m so happy for you!” Lance grinned, genuinely happy. Keith had NOT expected that reaction. “I can’t believe you waited so long to tell me, it's weird but I'm kinda touched you didn't want to make me feel bad. But I am still so proud of you!”

“I uh… thanks?” Keith felt like his entire world had come crashing down on him, it was pathetic and unreasonable and stupid, he’d let himself get caught up in this idea that Lance felt the same way about him. But he was just ‘happy for him’?! Did he not care that Keith was going away and might not come back?! Keith knew that he was being an self-obsessed idiot, but that didn’t stop his heart breaking right there on the steps outside Lance’s apartment, staring up at Lance’s beautiful fucking smiling face, he was being so sincere, he was obviously making the effort for Keith to be happy for him, but it was doing the complete opposite.

“Hey, I don’t want to be rude,” Lance said, a little awkwardly, his eyes darting to the living-room. “But I-I’m kinda tired, the exam and everything kinda, knocked it out of me, and I know you’ve come all this way.” 

Keith wanted to scream, what the fuck?! Was Lance hiding someone? What the hell was going on, Keith tried to subtly arch his neck to see round into the living room and Lance VISIBLY moved his body to obstruct Keith’s view.

“Sorry, I wasn’t, you know, expecting you to come round like this…” Lance rubbed the back of his neck, a pink blush settling on his cheeks, trying to be subtle. “I’m sorry, but I kind of need to go to bed.”

“S-sorry, I’ll go.” Keith was trying SO hard to not let his voice give him away, he quickly turned and stormed home, the sunshine was gone, it was dark and the stars were in the sky, he gazed up at the stars. Suddenly, the stars weren’t so beautiful anymore.

 

Lance dashed back into the living room after Keith had gone, he couldn’t believe he’d nearly been caught.

He started untangling fairy-lights once more, he’d been to every store on the way back from his exam to buy as many as he could, but once he’d got them all out, he thoroughly regretted a lot of his life choices. Hunk wandered in after hearing Lance’s frustrated cries from his bedroom, he looked tired and confused.

“Hey, buddy,” Hunk started, pouring himself a glass of water and watching Lance with a confused stare. “How’d the exam go?”

“Oh Hunk! It went amazingly!” Lance gushed happily, he put one end of the fairy-lights over his shoulders and tried to detangle from the end. “But I came out, and I bumped into Iverson, who told me something interesting.”

“Oh?” Hunk asked, trying not to let his voice give him away. Lance turned and raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh.”

“Yeah, I gathered Amarillo wasn’t a real thing.” Lance laughed at the memory of Hunk nearly crying. "I loved him like he was real!" Hunk sniffled dramatically. Lance shook his head, he knew Keith and Hunk were best friends but tears were a bit much. It wasn’t as though they’d never hear from him again, this was something to be celebrated. “So because we’re both going to have something to celebrate, I’m organizing a little surprise!”

“Oh, okay?” Hunk wandered over and started helping untangle fairy-lights.

“So, now that I know what his favourite constellations are, I’m going to try and re-create them on the roof!” Lance almost couldn’t believe himself how stupidly romantic this idea was. Hunk chuckled, he was getting just as frustrated as Lance at these fairy-lights, they didn't seem to have a beginning or an end.

Pidge wandered in a little bit later and stopped in her tracks when she saw them.

“What the hell is going on in here?” She laughed, her eyes still a little puffy. “Looks like Santa Claus threw up in here, christmas isn't for months!”

“Lance found out about Keith’s news, so he’s planning a romantic surprise for him!” Hunk smiled, but there was a sadness there. Lance still wasn’t sure why. Pidge’s face screwed up for a second, and then softened into a soppy smile, trying to stop herself from cooing loudly she joined them.

Keith hadn’t heard from Lance in days, which thoroughly confirmed that Keith had been wrong about everything. From Lance’s sleepy cuddles, to his fond looks to their space date, everything. Keith should have been relieved, he wouldn’t have to worry about breaking Lance’s heart when he left. He should have been happy. But this was hurting so badly, more than Lance just out-right rejecting him. He kept reading Lance’s note over and over and over, HOW could what Lance had written have not meant something. Had Lance meant for that copy to go to someone else? Keith really didn’t want to think about that. It was bad enough knowing that Lance didn’t have feelings for him, worse that he might be seeing someone else. What was he hiding from him that night? Suddenly he heard something he’d not heard in days, his phone. He was stood behind the coffee counter stacking cups when he opened a text from the last person he expected.

Lance_ Keith! Are you coming over tonight? I got my results and I don’t want to open them without you!

Keith so very nearly text him back a flat no… but this was important, and more important to Keith than he cared to admit at this point.

Keith_ Sure? When do you want me?

Lance_ Only always.

Keith rolled his eyes, trying not to let that get to him.

Lance_ But whenever you’re ready

Keith_ I’m gonna have a shower, I reek of coffee. I’ll be over in 30 mins

Lance_ Can’t wait.

So Keith jumped in the shower and prepared himself, although he wasn’t sure what he should be preparing himself for. He pulled on a black shirt and jeans and left, he walked slowly through the campus, staring up at the stars, trying not to feel wistful, trying not to dream of what could have been. It seemed he kept forgetting that even if Lance had felt the same he’d never be able to pursue it. Before he knew it, before he was even ready for it he was at the front door, except there was a note on the door, written in Lance’s now familiar scrawl.

ROOF

Keith raised an eyebrow and looked at the building, there was… no way for him to get to the roof, that he could see anyway. He wandered around the building three times before he was starting to lose his patience, was Lance messing with him? He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Lance out of frustration.

“Hey! Keith! Where are you, buddy?” Lance cried happily through the phone, Keith could hear his voice echo from the roof.

“I’m outside your apartment, it says roof, but… how do I get to the roof?” Keith was trying hard not to be annoyed, Lance was obviously very excited about his results.

“Oh, yeah sorry! The front door is unlocked, go into my bedroom and climb out the window and up the fire escape!” Lance apologised. “Hey! I can see you! Look up!”

Keith glanced up at the roof, and there was Lance, wearing a very nice shirt, waving happily down at him, his smile was electric, as usual. Keith hung up the phone silently and pushed the apartment door open and went into Lance’s bedroom, he stopped for a second in this room and just looked around. He noticed a couple of things in Lance’s bedroom that he hadn’t before. All along the wall next to Lance’s bed there were things now tacked to the wall.

The ticket from the day they went to the science museum was stuck to the wall, right beside Lance’s pillow, a doodle of a Voltron ship that Keith had done months ago and assumed he’d thrown away was next to that, a photo of the four of them on the quad in the sunshine that Pidge had taken earlier that summer. A photo of Keith and Lance drunk at Lance’s mom’s house that both of them had been too drunk to notice Hunk taking. A photo that Pidge had taken of Keith and Lance’s mom from when they were prepping dinner together, Keith could remember that moment but didn’t remember the photo being taken. Keith had never seen a photo of himself he actually liked, but this one, stood next to Lance’s mom who was smiling sweetly at him chopping some onions, he had a grin on his face like he was laughing, and it filled Keith with a bittersweet warmth. He was probably never going to see Sofia or the kids again, and that hurt for a different reason, that fear was there already, but now it was really real. Keith was suddenly hit with the realisation that he was going to be leaving all of this behind. He was staring at the picture of him and the people he could call his best friends, it wasn’t just Lance he was leaving behind, it was his make-shift family, his perfect team.  
Suddenly his phone buzzed and he forgot where he was.

Lance_ Did you get lost?

Keith_ Sorry, I got distracted by your pictures.

Lance_ Oh, they’re pretty great right?

Keith_ You could say that.

Lance_ My favourite will always be the one of you and my mom.

Keith smiled at this, he was glad that they felt the same about something. He finally worked up the courage to climb out of Lance’s bedroom window, he clambered out and the cold air hit him once more, he climbed the stairs and then the ladder, he stepped down finally onto the roof and was met with an overwhelming sight.

There was Lance, beautiful; perfect Lance, bathed in the light of what seemed like a thousand stars. In reality it was near a thousand fairy-lights and they were strung up in various shapes and patterns, Keith stopped dead in his tracks, Lance’s face was so sweet and so sincere.

“Surprise.” Lance finally spoke, his voice breathy and so quiet that Keith almost didn’t hear it. “I’m sorry I’ve been m.i.a for a couple of days, but I… wanted it to be perfect.” Keith finally stepped forward, he’d never been to the roof before, he could imagine that without the fairy-lights it was just a normal boring roof, but with all of the twinkling lights flickering above them, it felt like they were on their own little planet. No one around for miles.

Lance slowly approached him, a white envelope in his hands, he looked so handsome all dressed up in a nice shirt, he’d made such an effort and Keith wanted to cry.

“I got my results, but I haven’t the guts to open them by myself.” Lance seemed like he was trying to steady his voice. He handed the envelope to Keith, who just stared at it. “Open it, please.”

Keith looked at him, Lance’s face was pink and his normal smug look had been replaced by a nervous, soft smile, so Keith did what he told him, looking like that Keith would have done anything that Lance said in that moment. He ripped open the envelope and pulled out the paper.

“Lance…” Keith said quietly. Lance looked up, terrified.

“Oh god, I failed didn’t I?!” He groaned. “What kind of idiot fails the same exam three goddamned times?! Oh god, they’re not going to let me take the year again, I’m such an embarrassment, you’re never going to want to introduce me to anyone ever.” Lance was now rambling away and Keith had to stop him before he said any more.

“Lance, I’m joking! You passed, with flying colours!” Keith flipped the paper and showed him, Lance’s face broke apart in the biggest smile Keith had ever seen, he was near tears and Keith’s heart swelled. 

After a couple of minutes of Lance jigging around happily at his good news, he suddenly dragged Keith to a pair of Lawn chairs in the middle of the roof, they both flopped down into them and Lance gazed at Keith.

“Look!” Lance pointed to the fairy-lights above them, so Keith did. Lance had managed to wrangle the lights into the shape of all of Keith’s favourite constellations, directly above them was Draco.

“For who can lay hands on what Jove has stolen away?” Lance quoted quietly, Keith sucked in a big breath, Lance had really done his research.

The one next to that was Leo, Lance watched Keith’s eyes fall upon that one.

“Did you know I’m a Leo?” Lance spoke, grinning slightly, Keith looked at him, had he missed his birthday? “This was when you weren’t talking to me.”

“Oh, I’m… sorry Lance.” Keith apologised, but continued staring at the constellation of the lion as Lance spoke.

“No, I’m sorry.” Lance continued. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that… I was just going through a lot that day and… I didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling, besides, you can make it up to me when you're home for christmas."

Keith's heart stopped. Christmas? Keith almost said something but when he turned and saw Lance's face, gazing up at the constellation of the lion, it hit Keith like a fucking train. Lance didn't understand that he wasn't going to be coming back. Not for a year at least. It all suddenly made sense, why Lance was so casual about the news, he didn't understand that Keith likely wasn't coming home.

But Keith didn’t want to think about the future. He was… loving the present, he felt so special in that moment, Lance had done all this for him. A him that was abandoning Lance. A him that was abandoning everything. He was selfishly holding onto that normalcy he still had with Lance, for the meantime.

Finally his eyes fell upon Perseus, Lance noticed too and smiled.

“He flew over the whole earth, looking down from the heights of heaven to the land that lay far below.” Lance spoke once more.

“What’s all this for?” Keith spoke bluntly, he was so confused now, Lance’s eyes and actions were so full of love, Keith was terrified now that Lance DID feel the same, and was going to have his heart broken, and Keith couldn't handle that.

“I wanted us to celebrate together.” Lance was a little taken aback by Keith’s blunt response. “We both had really good news today, and I wanted to show you how… much I care about you… and y’know your… news.”

Keith just wanted to kiss him, in that moment, he wanted - more than ever - to just let go.

 

Lance was staring at Keith, desperately trying to find the words he wanted to say. Keith’s face was just so disarmingly beautiful in the twinkling soft light above them. Lance was scared that any words he might say might not do what he actually felt any justice, so he settled for simple.

“I… really uh-“ Lance started, Keith’s eyes went wide and suddenly, Keith was standing, he gripped Lance by his wrists and pulled him up with him, before Lance could even say another word Keith’s lips were on his and fireworks were going off behind his eyes. 

Keith was kissing HIM, as if from nowhere. Lance had prepared himself for the absolute worse, he could never quite read Keith’s feelings from the way he’d been behaving recently and although he hadn’t actually got to say how he felt, it felt like his actions could speak just as loudly. Kissing Keith was something he’d thought about for so long he never actually thought it could ever live up to his expectations, in that moment, Lance learnt he could be wrong about a lot of things. Lance suddenly found himself pressed up against the wall, Keith’s hands were in his hair and down his back and on his ass and Lance was so lost in his own thoughts he had to stop himself, scared that the moment would pass so quickly he might miss it.

“K-Keith.” His voice was breathless, his chest heaving and tight and warm. Keith’s eyes were desperate and searching and he was just as breathless, Keith’s hands were on Lance’s hips and his grip tightened as Lance spoke his name, he shuddered a heavy breath and looked apologetic for a second.

“Lance.” Keith spoke back, his eyes heavy-lidded, and Lance loved the way that his name sounded coming out of Keith’s mouth in that heat-laden manner. “I could hear you say that all day.”

“What, Kei-“ Lance was cut off halfway through his words with Keith’s mouth on his once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')


	13. Ice-lolly Rockets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith_ If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hands.

Keith was making a HUGE mistake. A mistake that he knew he’d live to regret forever, but a mistake that felt too good to stop. It seemed ridiculous that this hadn’t happened sooner, and in a lot of ways, Keith wished it had. Maybe he wouldn’t be going to the garrison, or maybe he was but he would just be enjoying the time that they had together. There were a lot of what ifs, but right now, he had Lance melting under his touch.

He knew that Lance was going to say something that Keith couldn’t bear to hear, especially knowing that soon, he’d be betraying him. He’d be leaving the love of his life behind. At this thought, he hardened the kiss, Lance was moaning into his mouth and it sent shivers down his spine, Keith had Lance pressed up against the wall, one hand in his hair and one hand up his shirt, feeling his warm, soft skin. He could feel gooseflesh following where his fingers trailed, Lance’s bare flesh exposed to the cold air of the evening, suddenly Keith remembered where they were, he pulled away and looked around. Yep, definitely still on the roof, he turned to look back at Lance, who’s eyes were so sweet and sincere, who’s lips were pink and bitten and Keith decided he didn’t care right now. He was in the business of pretending this was all a dream. Lance felt so good under his fingertips, he could deal with all the shit in the morning, because right now everything was as it should be. 

This time Lance pulled away and gazed at Keith, smiling. “C’mon it’s cold, let’s go inside.” Lance took Keith’s hand and led him back down and into his bedroom. They each climbed in the window and stood in Lance’s bedroom, looking at each other awkwardly. Not really knowing where to go from there, Keith thought about leaving, never speaking to Lance again, just pretending nothing happened and they’d never met. 

He glanced at the door for a split second. “You… aren’t thinking of leaving are you?” Lance spoke, his voice burdened with worry. Keith took a deep breath in and stared at Lance, who’s pink cheeks and scared looking eyes broke his resolve. He knew he should go, he knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but at this point he was fucked anyway, might as well enjoy the ride.

“No, never.”

 

Lance was shirtless and moaning quietly, he was minutely aware of how thin the walls between their bedrooms were and he didn’t want to wake Hunk or Pidge. Keith was making that very hard for him, however, in a lot of different ways. Lance could tell that Keith wasn’t that experienced but it didn’t matter, Lance was just elated that this wasn’t a dream. Keith was laid next to him, in his bed, desperately kissing him all over, leaving marks as he went, not really having any direction, not really knowing what he was doing, but he seemed to relish it all the same.

“L-Lance,” Keith finally lifted his head to look at him. “I-I’m sorry, I’m not really sure what I’m doing?” Lance just smiled and pulled his head to his and kissed him.

“I don’t care, I’m just happy you’re still here.” Lance replied, his voice raspy. “You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, I’d be happy to just fall asleep next to you.”

“R-really?” 

“Yeah, I’m clearly much better at this than you,” Lance teased, earning a moody pout. “I’ll show you how it’s done, if you want me to?”

Keith looked a little scared, but nodded his head all the same, Lance pressed a soft, sweet kiss on his lips and swiftly flipped him over.

 

Keith was wide awake, laid staring at the ceiling, Lance was curled up next to him, fast asleep with a contented look on his face. The curtains and window were still open, blowing a soft breeze into the room, the stars were bright and beautiful and Keith was burning up inside. He’d never felt anything like it before, just the feeling of dread, of knowing that something awful was going to happen. He’d made his own bed and soon he was going to have to lie in it, on his own, for the rest of his life.

On the night that he’d revealed everything to Allura, she asked him why he wouldn’t want Lance to wait for him, try and make it work, and Keith had thought about it for a second.

“What if… we do make it work, and we’re in love and happy…” Keith spoke, his heart swelling with joy that it could be a reality. “What if… I don’t come back?”

Keith didn’t want to even think about the fact that his future was held so unstable, there was a very real possibility that something could happen and he would die. He couldn’t live with the thought that Lance might be left on his own, it was bad enough leaving him for a year at the least, let alone him getting the news one day that Keith was NEVER coming home. That alone devastated him.

But now he was in a very bad situation, and in the cold light of day he had done something awful, he had made it seem to Lance that this was real, this was happening. He just wanted so badly to pretend that it was true too, and now he had to deal with the fact he’d made everything just so much fucking worse. He had two weeks left before he had to go, as much as he desperately wanted to enjoy Lance for that time, he knew as soon as he told Lance the truth and that they couldn’t be together, Lance would never want to speak to him again. 

So now, as he stared out at the august night sky, he had to figure out how the FUCK he was going to tell Lance the truth, he glanced at the clock beside the bed, it was 4am and there was no way he was going to be getting any sleep tonight. He untangled himself reluctantly from Lance and climbed back out the window and sat on the fire escape, his legs dangled off the edge between the bars and he rested his head against the cold metal. Maybe he could just drop out, tell the garrison that he didn’t want to do it anymore, but he knew that Lance wouldn’t be able to live with himself knowing that he was the reason that Keith was losing out on this amazing opportunity. And Keith couldn’t live with himself knowing that it could have been the best thing he’d ever done, and eventually, he might come to resent Lance. There was no right answer and he didn’t know what to do. Soon the sun would rise and Lance would be awake, basking in the warmth of knowing that his love was requited, only for Keith to come in with his stupid, weak ass and destroy it all. He gazed up at the stars, he could see Sagittarius beaming down at him from the sky and it felt for a second like it was just him and the stars. That illusion was broken when he heard Lance’s voice through the window and leapt up to check on him, to discover that he was just groaning in his sleep, but he was saying Keith’s name. Keith sucked in a deep breath and climbed back through the window, he came and stood by the bed and looked down at Lance, who had a sweet little smile on his face. Keith looked up at the pictures pasted to the wall and his already broken heart splintered a little more. He climbed into bed with Lance once more and wrapped him up in his arms, knowing that it would probably be the last time.

 

Lance woke up to the sun dancing on his face, the window was still open from the night before and Keith was still laid next to him, all wrapped up with his face pressed to his chest. Lance couldn’t stop the stupid, cheesy grin that was plastered to his face, Keith’s little drooling face was adorable. He suddenly remembered the last time they’d woken up in the same bed and wanted to return the favour. He gently untangled Keith and pulled some clothes on, before heading to Hunks room with a request.

“Hunk! Good morning buddy!” Lance brightly greeted him once a very sleepy Hunk came to his door. “How are you feeling on this bright and beautiful day?” Hunk raised quizzical eyebrow at him, and then noticed the hickeys on his neck and a cheeky grin appeared on his face.

“Well, I’m certainly not feeling as good as you are this morning,” He chuckled suggestively, Lance quickly glanced down and rubbed his neck a little embarrassed. He clearly hadn’t looked in the mirror yet. “But anyway, why are you here and not still in bed with you know who.”

“Hunk, it's Keith not Lord Voldemort." Hunk gasped and covered his ears. "And well, because the last time we slept in the same bed, Keith got up early to make me breakfast, because you know, he’s just so…” Lance trailed off, a little smile playing on his lips as he thought about Keith. “Anyway, I wanted to return the favour, and make him something.”

“And the last time you cooked for him? I thought you’d done okay?” Hunk thought back to their first tutoring session, Lance had made him breakfast that morning, and it was mostly… edible.

“I know, but… I wanted to make something really good, so… I need your help.” Lance finally got to the bottom of his request. Hunk was impressed and surprised, Lance was making a real effort, but at what cost?

“No problem buddy, let’s go!” Hunk followed him into the kitchen and started to help him make pancakes and bacon.

“It’s weird to think that we’re going to be starting our second year finally!” Lance laughed, stirring the batter thoroughly under Hunk’s supervision. “I’m gonna miss Keith, but I know it’s the best thing for him. He’s gonna love it so much!” Hunk nodded, trying not to think about it. 

It was only when Pidge entered the room yawning that they realised she wasn’t there, usually she’d be on her laptop typing away. She looked exhausted, she looked at Lance with a blank expression.

“Woah Pidge, you okay?” Lance asked, genuinely surprised at her tired expression. 

“I didn’t sleep.” She said flatly, almost slamming her laptop down on the table. “Too much noise!”

“Too much…” Lance suddenly realised what she meant and tried to form an apologetic look, but all he could muster was a slightly regretful smugness at the memory. “Sorry.”

“Mhm, it’s okay though, I know what you sound like when you orgasm now.” Pidge chuckled darkly, “I’m looking forward to using that to my advantage.” Lance groaned loudly. “Not even close.” Laughed Pidge, she shut her eyes and let out a deep, throaty moan. “That’s what it was like.”

“PIDGE!” Lance exclaimed, almost flicking pancake batter at her. “You’re a freaking pervert!”

“Are you, are you really calling ME the pervert?!” Pidge laughed, unbelieving. “I heard what you were saying buddy! I heard EVERY WORD.” Lance decided to keep his mouth shut.

“So, I'm gonna try and pretend that DIDN'T scar me for life!” Hunk asked, trying to pretend he didn’t just hear Pidge impersonate Lance’s orgasm. "Are you going to give it a go long distance?" Lance shrugged.

“We haven’t actually talked about it…” Lance trailed off a little, pouring some pancake batter into the frying pan. “I’d like to, I mean hopefully we’ll talk about it today, and then we’ve got, what, two weeks before he goes?” Hunk nodded in confirmation. “So, we’ll just enjoy the next two weeks and see how it goes I guess.”

“That sounds good…” Pidge responded, a little hopeful smile on her face. “I’m glad you guys finally got it together. I can see how much Keith cares about you.”

“Yeah, me too.” Lance said softly, feeling contented. 

They finished cooking and poured some maple syrup on top, they’d made extra for Hunk and Pidge to enjoy, but Lance carried his and Keith’s into his bedroom, where Keith was awake, fully clothed and sat leaning against the headboard of his bed. When Keith saw him he smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“You okay, Keith?” Lance asked, placing his breakfast down in front of him. “I made you breakfast, to make up for last time you stayed. We’re even now.”

“Thanks, Lance.” Keith was husky, like there was something stuck in his throat. “Sorry, I’m just tired, this looks great.”

“So, did you want to do something today? You’ve only got 2 weeks left.” Lance spoke casually. “Might as well enjoy what little time we’ve got left.”

“Yeah… we need to talk really. After last night and all.” Keith was quieter now, looking like he was in pain. Lance was starting to worry, after spending the night together was Keith regretting it?

“Okay, what did you want to do?” Lance asked, chowing down on the pancakes, they were delicious and he didn’t mind admitting it, he wasn’t that humble, even though it was mostly Hunk’s work.

“Well, we could go for a walk in the sun?” Keith suggested, it seemed like he really didn’t want to have this conversation around Hunk and Pidge.

“That sounds good,” Lance agreed, and then suddenly remembered. “Hey! You know I never asked you what you thought of my essay!” Keith glanced up a little shocked at the recollection.

“Oh yeah, it was really good, Lance.” Keith smiled a little non-committal. “You really know your stuff.”

“Well, it’s all thanks to you.” Lance finished his breakfast and stood up, stretching. “I’m gonna get dressed and then we can go?” Keith nodded, as Lance turned to get undressed he saw Keith staring at the photos on the wall. More specifically the one of him and Lance’s mom smiling together, except he didn’t look happy, he looked devastated. Lance had a really bad feeling about this conversation. He pulled on a shirt and a fresh pair of jeans and spun back around, Keith looked like he was near tears.

“You ready?” Lance’s voice was shaky now, Keith nodded without looking at him and stood up, it was like he physically couldn’t bear to look at him. Lance was really REALLY not feeling good about this conversation.

They left the apartment and wandered down the street, there wasn’t any real direction to their stroll and Lance hated the tension in the air, Keith’s hands were stuffed in his pockets and he wouldn’t look up. Lance wanted a distraction, but he didn’t know what, he wanted to diffuse the atmosphere and he spotted the perfect thing, an ice-cream truck. He was aware that they’d just had breakfast but he needed something to do, something to talk about.

“Hey Keith, what’s your favourite ice-cream?” Lance suddenly blurted, unsure of how to bring up the topic, Keith looked up at him, confused.

“Ice-cream?” Keith spoke slowly, following Lance’s pointed finger to the brightly painted ice-cream truck. “Um… I like the ones shaped like rocket ships?”

Of course, Lance thought, he laughed and that felt a little better, but there was still something hanging in the air. Lance sprinted over and grabbed two and brought them back.

“But we just had breakfast?” Keith raised an eyebrow.

“I know, but I really fancied an ice-cream.” 

Keith shrugged and they carried on walking, Lance saw a bench along the way underneath a tree next to a rose bush.

“Hey, let’s sit there.” Lance suggested. “Then we can, y’know talk?” Keith’s face suddenly changed to a look of horror, he just shook his head.

They carried on walking, Lance’s feeling of dread multiplied at the expression on Keith’s face, he just wanted this over with, at the next bench, Lance grabbed Keith’s wrist and dragged him onto the bench, Keith was staring at his ice-lolly with a frustrated look on his face, he hadn’t touched it.

“Keith, what is going on?” Lance was starting to get frustrated himself. Keith was being such a coward. “If you don’t want to be with me then just say it, okay?” 

Keith remained silent, staring at his ice lolly, now Lance was just getting angry, why was he doing this? What had happened in the last 12 hours to change his attitude so dramatically.

“Just say it, Keith.” Lance grit his teeth, his heart hurting. “Stop wasting both our time, I get it, you don’t wanna be with me and you regret it.”

“No, I don’t.” Keith whimpered at last, Lance was almost relieved.

“You don’t want to be with me.” Lance confirmed, Keith’s head quickly snapped around at him.

“No, I mean I don’t regret it.” Keith sharply spoke, his eyebrows drawn together. “I don’t regret it for one second but…”

“But what?! What’s the problem then?” Lance wanted to knock the ice-lolly out of his hand as Keith’s head spun back around to stare at it once more.

“I don’t regret it, but… We can’t be together.” Keith finally said, Lance was just confused and frustrated.

“Why not?” Lance said tensely. 

"Because I'm leaving?"

"And?"

"And I likely won’t see you for the next year or so,” Keith huffed. “And even then, I might never come home.”

“So that’s it?” Lance felt his blood slowly starting to boil. “You've already made your mind up, huh? You aren’t even willing to give it a shot?”

“I can’t, Lance!” Keith exclaimed. “What if I die?! What then? I can’t stand the thought that one day you’ll get a letter or a phone call, and I’ll be gone, and you’ll be all alone! I can’t do that to you!”

Why was this all only coming out now?! Why had Keith kept these secrets for so long?! And why after they'd spent the night together, after Lance thought maybe they had a shot. Lance was so heartbroken and angry, all he could see was red.

“Then why are you here?” Lance’s voice was surprisingly calm. “Why would you kiss me? Huh? Keith? Why would you sleep in my bed? Why did you let me wake up next to you, thinking we had a fucking chance together?”

Keith didn’t really have an answer.

“I… wanted to do all those things.” Keith stalled, seemingly trying to think of something better to say. “I wanted to and I couldn’t help myself, I’m sorry.”

“You’re SORRY?! You’re fucking sorry?!” Lance was yelling now, he was in the middle of a public place and he was yelling and he didn’t fucking care.

“Yes Lance! I’m sorry!” Keith sounded pathetic to him now, “It’s fucking killing me that I’ve done this to you! I’m sorry!”

“Keith, I don’t care how you feel, okay?” Lance’s voice was quiet and menacing now. “Because you didn’t seem to care about how I felt, not once in this entire fucking charade of yours have you cared how I felt. So I don’t actually want to hear it.”

So Lance finally did what he’d wanted to do, he knocked Keith’s ice-lolly out of his hand, they both watched as it fell seemingly in slow motion. It splatted on the ground and Keith looked like he was about to burst into tears, and Lance was so angry that he didn’t care. Somewhere, deep inside of him, he wanted to grab Keith and hold him tight and take the pain away, but Keith had done this to himself, this was his mistake. He wasn’t going to be a casualty in this fucking car crash.

“If that’s how you feel.” Lance spoke, a finality in his voice. “Don’t talk to me. Please. I’m done.”

And he walked away, his finished ice-lolly stick in his hand.

 

Keith hadn’t heard from Lance in nearly two weeks, and he’d given up trying. Maybe he should have listened, respected his wishes, but he had to try. He couldn’t leave knowing that Lance hated him. He was packing his bags, getting ready to leave. Shiro dropped in intermittently to see how he was getting on, Keith just grunted in response, he hadn’t really spoken to anyone since the ice-lolly incident. After what happened he got two very shitty text messages from both Hunk and Pidge, which is what he expected. He couldn’t help but feel a little selfish, he was the one leaving everyone, they’d go back to their normal lives and their safe little university and Keith was being thrown into a war. Suddenly, he came upon the shirt that Lance had given back to him, Keith looked at it for a long time, the anger within him told him to burn it, to throw it away, to forget. Instead, the side of him that was in love won, he pulled his current shirt off and put this one on. The scent of Lance surrounded him, and he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks, he willed himself not to cry. He was leaving, and he was fucking terrified. He had no idea what to expect, what was going to happen to him, and worst of all, even if he did come back, knowing that he had nothing to come back to. He suddenly realised what is was that Lance smelt like, he smelt like home.

He heard a knock at the door, and assuming it was Shiro he grunted quietly.

“Keith?” Hunk’s voice came from the door. He slowly turned the knob and Keith watched his face fall as he saw Keith in his pathetic state curled up on the floor burying his face in the shirt. “Oh, buddy.” 

Hunk sat down beside him and stroked his back, Hunk didn’t really know what to do, he’d never seen Keith like this, and he’d seen him in some sorry states.

“I know you probably already know this, but you did a really stupid thing.” Hunk was blunt at the best of times, he was unafraid of saying these sorts of things.

“I know…” Keith rasped, it was the first time he’d spoken in days. “I know and it’s killing me. It’s killing me and I’m terrified of going and not knowing what I’d be coming back to or even if I'd come back at all.”

“You’re my best friend, you’ll always have me to come back to.” Hunk tried to be reassuring. “I know it’s scary, but it’s probably going be the greatest thing you do in your entire life.”

“The greatest thing I’ve ever done was kiss Lance,” Keith mumbled sadly. “And look how badly I fucked that one up.”

“God, Keith, you’re so emo!” Hunk tried to joke, he earned a shrug from Keith. He was wallowing, he was aware of how emo it was. “How’s the packing coming along?” 

Keith sat up and rubbed his eyes, he was exhausted from all the packing. Thanks to working at the shop and his own personal misery he hadn’t had a chance to start till the day before he was due to leave.

“Does Lance hate me?” Keith ignored Hunk’s question. Hunk hesitated and looked away, that was almost enough to send Keith over the edge. “He does, doesn’t he?”

“I don’t think hate is the right word, Keith.” Hunk shut his eyes and shook his head. “Of course he doesn’t hate you, he loves you. But you really hurt him.”

That at least made Keith feel a little better, but not really. Lance was hurting just as much as he was, he was reminded of how selfish he really was.

“You’ll look after him for me, won’t you?” Keith looked at him with a deep sadness in his eyes. Hunk nodded, his face serious.

“Of course. But I’m sure he doesn’t need looking after.” Hunk laughed. “I’ll be here to see you off tomorrow okay?”

“Hunk, I know I was an idiot.” Keith grabbed Hunks hands as he stood up. “But you have to know, the idea that I might never come back and leave Lance on his own, it was killing me, I couldn’t do that to him.”

“Keith, like I said,” Hunk stood up fully and Keith fell from his grip. “You should have told him from the start, screw jealousy. Maybe things would have been different.”

But hindsight didn’t help Keith right now, so he finished packing after Hunk left and tried to get a decent night’s sleep.

 

“I can’t believe you’re going.” Shiro was sniffling, he had a hand on Keith’s shoulder in a very manly fashion, Allura was holding Shiro around the waist, trying not to cry.

“I know… I’m scared, but I know it’s going to be great.” Keith was trying REALLY hard. Shiro, Allura, Hunk and Pidge were all stood on the street with him, waiting for the car to come and pick him up. He was really hoping that Lance would have at least shown up to see him off, but he guessed he deserved as much.

“We tried to convince him to come,” Pidge shrugged, her eyes red with tears shed. “But, you know.”

Keith nodded, he’d tried too. He’d sent him a text that morning that read

Keith_ I know that I hurt you, and I know you probably won’t even read this or receive it, but I have to tell you something. I know that I blew whatever it was that we might have had, and it is killing me that I have to leave you after I hurt you so badly, but I am also terrified. You were the one thing keeping me grounded, the one thing making it seem like my life was normal still. I know that was selfish but I honestly couldn’t help myself, I fell for you so hard through everything, and I will probably always love you.

Keith_ If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hands.

He was naïve for thinking that it would work, but he had to try. He was hugging everyone when the car pulled up and a man stepped out. He was tall and stern, with a thick ginger moustache and slicked back ginger hair, he looked exceptionally serious.

“Keith Kogane?” The man spoke, he had a thick accent. “My name is Coran Smythe, I’m a representative and a Lieutenant General of the galaxy garrison.” 

“Coran?!” Allura suddenly piped up, Coran looked behind Keith and his face lit up with a goofy smile.

“Allura!” He pushed past Keith and wrapped Allura up in a big hug.

“Oh, THIS is Coran?!” Shiro suddenly looking between the two.

“You know each other?!” Hunk exclaimed, confused.

“Yes! Allura is my adopted neice! Her father and I have been friends and colleagues for as long as I care to remember!” Coran gushed happily, looking oh so proud. “And you must be Takashi, I’ve heard so much about you!”

“Please, call me Shiro!” Shiro confidently held out a hand for Coran to shake, who took it with enthusiasm.

“Keith, you’re in good hands with this one, he’ll take good care of you!” Allura beamed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but both my father and Coran are in the garrison! I just didn’t know that Coran of all people would be coming to collect you!”

Keith felt immensely better, Coran seemed serious when he needed to be but goofy and happy too. It also hit him that he would have had no idea that Allura had two people missing from her life, maybe it wasn’t bad he’d thought it would be.

“I would love to stay and chat more, but we really must be leaving, we have a schedule to keep!” Coran threw a finger up in the air dramatically. He spun around and gathered all of Keith’s bags into his arms and poured them into the boot of the black car. It didn’t have a licence plate and the windows were tinted, Keith was nervous all over again.

“Good luck Keith, contact us when you can.” Pidge said solemnly, she had been glancing behind her the entire time, wishing that Lance would appear. But he didn’t. Keith climbed into the car, his heart in his throat, the nerves flowing through him aggressively, he wound the window down and watched as the car pulled away, he waved out the window to everyone and they waved back, Pidge’s shoulders were shaking and Hunk had a strong arm around her. He was about to wind the window back up when suddenly he noticed something moving towards the car from a distance, Keith’s heart soared when he recognized the jacket, it was Lance, red faced and running. He was at least 100 yards from the car, and he was holding something in his hand, he held it out, it was the picture of Keith and him when they were drunk, gazing at each other affectionately and unknowingly.

“I WILL WAIT FOR YOU!” Lance screamed at the top of his lungs, Keith could have cried. “I LOVE YOU STARCHILD”

Keith burst out laughing, with tears in his eyes, Lance grinned at him victoriously, and watched him drive away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')  
> Tumblr/ foxsmo-lder  
> Also! Thankyou for 1k hits! I love you and your comments give me life! <3


	14. Pictures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lance, are you going to help mama with dinner?” Sofia called from the kitchen, Lance groaned and sat up.
> 
> “She misses Keith.” Teased Robert as Lance stood up and slowly waddled into the kitchen.
> 
> “That makes the two of us.” Lance muttered.

Lance_ So, where are you right now?

Keith_ I’m still in the car, with Coran.

Lance_ How far away are you going?!

Keith_ Uh, well… I can officially use this line – that’s classified.

Lance_ omg, you’re an x-file

Keith_ I don’t think that’s how that works. But even I don’t know where we’re going.

Lance_ Wow

Keith_ I don’t think Coran’s 100% sure?

Lance_ I thought the hangar was only 40 minutes walk from where you used to live?

Keith_ Yeah… I think they might just be taking the long way round.

Keith_ I mean like, all the way across the country and back around, y’know, to throw me off.

Lance_ Wow that’s crazy… I hope that Coran is good company?

Keith_ You mean Coran, Coran the gorgeous man?

Lance_ Really? He was okay I mean-

Keith_ No no, that’s what he calls himself.

Lance_ He sounds like me, but ginger and old.

Keith_ He saw that.

Lance_ oh?

Keith_ He said you wish you could look as good as he does.

Lance_ For sure like me.

Keith_ Yeah, you’d definitely get on.

Lance_ Hey, I’m gonna miss you, y’know.

Keith_ I know

Lance_ …

Lance_ I’m serious!

Keith_ I know, you know I’m going to miss you! I didn’t even get to give you a proper goodbye.

Lance_ Oh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Keith_ I… I don’t even know how you made that face?

Keith_ And you’re forgetting that Coran can read all these, and is judging me hard.

Lance_ Why would he be judging you?

Keith_ He’s just confused that if you liked me so much how come you weren’t there when I left?

Lance_ Savage, definitely me.

Lance_ Tell him that you were an asshole and it was a romantic last-minute dash.

Keith_ He doesn’t believe you, I’m basically an angel.

Lance_ What?

Keith_ You’re forgetting I’m a prodigy apparently? I can do no wrong.

Lance_ Nuh-uh, not gonna work on me, sorry. I’m a marksman prodigy, that means I cancel you out!

Keith_ Oh yeah, I guess… But who’s going to the Galaxy Garrison?

Lance_ Ouch.

Keith_ Yeah, even Coran said that one was too far, sorry.

Keith_ But seriously, I am gonna miss you so much. I can’t take back what I did, but I can only promise you that if you’re willing to wait, then I am too.

Lance_ I am. As long as you don’t meet some super sexy pilot with flowing blonde locks.

Keith_ I’ll try. As long as you don’t fall in love with your replacement pilot.

Lance_ What replacement?! I’m gonna miss you so much. Do you have any idea when I’ll next hear from you?

Keith_ As soon as I arrive at the Garrison, my phone will be confiscated and most of the content deleted. But Coran is keeping pretty tight-lipped about when I’ll be able to contact anyone.

Keith_ Hopefully not long though, as soon as I know I’ll contact you.

Lance_ Are you scared?

Keith_ Terrified.

Lance stared down at his phone, the others were milling around him, drinking coffee’s and asking what Keith was saying. Lance was hesitating, Keith was normally the one who was good at saying the right thing. Keith just seemed to understand what it was to be hurting.  
So Lance settled on something else.

Lance_ Your eyes are brighter than Sirius.

Lance_ Keith?

 

Pidge was watching Lance over the top of her laptop, he was clutching his coffee cup, close to spilling, determination etched into every single line. He’d been staring at his phone for 20 minutes now, as if he were using his pure brain power for a miracle. Keith had stopped texting back now, which meant he had arrived, which meant that Lance didn’t know when he might hear from him again. 

Pidge looked back at her laptop screen, she’d set herself a new challenge, something she hadn’t done or attempted in a long, long time. She was slowly and carefully going over the Garrison’s barracks encryption, she was certain that there had to be a weakness in their security, a way that she could get through. She could already see Lance’s little heart breaking as Keith faded away into obscurity, and once Pidge had her mind set on something, she’d see it through to the end. Except this was much riskier, if she were caught – which was highly unlikely – She wouldn’t get a little slap on the wrist, she’d be treated as a terrorist seeking information to give to the enemies. They couldn’t be too lenient, there was a lot of sensitive information up for grabs. But Pidge wasn’t after information in any case, she’s was after a way of communicating with Keith. She missed him too, he’d basically become a brother to her, he was always there, always consistent, which could not be said for her brother and father. She was aware that they had important jobs, but it just killed her that she didn’t get a phone call more than once a week. Whereas no matter what time, whenever she needed to talk to someone, or even just text, he was there every single time.

“Pidge.” Allura’s stern voice was suddenly behind her, Pidge had half forgotten that she was in the coffee shop, she quickly clicked off the page and hoped that Allura hadn’t seen too much.

“Allura,” Pidge oozed casual innocence. She turned around and leaned across the table, trying to obscure the screen, Allura gave her a look with a raised eyebrow.

“What are you up to?” Allura was leaning forward, her face stern, trying to call Pidge’s bluff.

“I don’t know what you could be talking about.” Pidge shrugged, her face still stoic. “I’m just working away here innocently. How do I know you aren’t up to something?”

Allura smirked and leant back, her eyes still suspicious. “I’m watching you, Pidge. Always watching.”

Lance wasn’t paying attention of course, desperately trying to will Keith to text him back. Pidge wanted to distract him, but nothing could be done, Lance must have been feeling pretty bad that he didn’t try and make it sooner, to say goodbye properly. But Pidge was also pretty sure that Lance was feeling smug that the running in at the last minute with a ‘beautiful’ (shouty) confession was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done ever.

Allura set herself down in the last seat on the table, they made themselves at home in the window, the sun was setting and it was starting to get dark, the stars peeking through the blue sky. She looked at Lance with sympathy. She could still remember what it was like when her father left her and her mother when she was only young. Her father had been in the garrison from a young age, and met his mother whilst he was on leave, they fell madly in love and were married by the time he went back. When he came home once more and left her mother fell pregnant and she had Allura alone. Her father came back and forth and kept regular contact, but then her mother fell ill, seriously ill. She didn’t last for much longer than a year after she got sick, and Allura was well and truly alone. Alfor was granted a year’s leave in order to look after Allura, who was still a teenager. Allura was devastated that her mother was gone, but she was thrilled when her father was finally there, she had him all to herself.

Within a year, Alfor had managed to get her a place, a guardian and a good school, Allura was all set and it seemed as though her father was leaving before she knew it, he said she’d still hear from him all the same, but she spent so many sleepless nights afraid for his life. Her father never went into any detail, but there was a lot more going on amongst those constellations than anyone cared to let on. Allura honestly thought that if she heard the phrase ‘it’s classified’ one more time she might actually murder someone, so she stopped asking.

She looked at Lance now, and could remember how it felt. Even though she was so young she could remember that tender freshness of the separation, but she got to say goodbye.

“Lance?” Allura reached out and touched his arm, he looked up, his eyes sad. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah.” Lance responded, leaning back and rubbing the back of his neck, taking a sip of his coffee, his pride taking over. “He’s not responding now, so I guess that means-“

“His phones been taken away for reviewing.” Allura confirmed, smiling softly. When her father left for the garrison they didn’t even have mobile phones, she would get a payphone call from her father every Sunday. “But it’s okay, as long as there’s no sensitive information, most everything will be kept on there.”

Lance could tell that Allura was trying to comfort him, but as much as she knew exactly how it felt, it still hurt just as much. They hadn’t even had a chance to talk properly, the last time they saw each other Lance blew up at him in a big way, which Lance still felt was totally justified. But it just meant that there was so much left unsaid, so much still up in the air which meant that Lance would only wallow on those things. As much as really, this wasn’t about him, Keith was the one stepping into the unknown with fear in his heart, he couldn’t help but make it about him.

Keith left them, left him. Lance didn’t care if he was being selfish, because how dare he? But like Keith said, no matter the what if’s and the buts, what happened had happened and as much as it couldn’t be taken back, they had somewhere to go from now.

 

It was the first day of classes, and Lance was up and fresh and awake. He had something to prove this year. He received a commendation for his essay from the head of his course which was something that Lance had never experienced before, being that his new classmates were all gunner specialists, he was finally going to be the top of his class. He realised what it was like to be Keith, and it wasn’t great because everyone hated his guts. They hadn’t even started classes and he was already getting looks from future classmates, news of his record breaking simulation had spread fast when all the students came back from summer break.

Lance was stood in the kitchen, scooping cereal with a fork and rubbing his eyes, the sun was bright but the temperature had dropped significantly. It was still warm but was nothing in comparison to the height of summer. Back home, the temperature barely dropped lower than what it was now, so Lance was not looking forward to another winter struggling with a cold. Last year he didn’t have anyone to look after him, but this year he did have someone but they were indisposed. Lance vowed that he wouldn’t get sick.

Pidge was sat at the breakfast bar, leant on her elbow her face very VERY close to the screen, she was stumped. Lance had never seen a stumped Pidge before.

Hunk came in yawning and stretching, he glanced at Pidge and at the screen she was looking at and went very white.

“Pidge.” His voice wavering, Lance was suddenly interested, coming to stand beside Hunk, cereal still in hand, fork in mouth.

Pidge didn’t look up, her headphones were on and the music was loud, she was in a deep almost un-interruptible concentration. Lance looked and saw a lot of code that meant absolutely nothing to him, but Hunk seemed seriously bothered by it.

“What?” Lance asked, Hunk glanced at Lance as though surprised that he was ever there, like he hadn’t noticed him.

“Oh, it’s nothing, Lance.” Hunk shook his head, trying to change the subject. “Are you looking forward to classes today?”

Hunk began rummaging around in the cupboards for breakfast, he poured himself some cereal and seated himself next to Pidge at the breakfast bar, his eyes flashing to the screen every so often. 

“Y-yeah, I mean. I’m kind of nervous.” Lance responded. He’d given up on asking Hunk and Pidge anything, they were good secret keepers and he couldn’t bother himself with whatever it was they might be keeping between themselves. “I think everyone hates me already, I haven’t really even done anything and everyone keeps looking at me like shit on their shoe.”

“Jealous and intimidated.” Hunk nodded, still glancing from Lance to Pidge’s laptop screen. “You’ll just have to prove it wasn’t a fluke.” 

Lance’s face dropped, he’d never considered that. What it if was all just a fluke, a complete accident, a malfunction in the simulator. They hadn’t actually done a simulator again since that day, what if he got back in a sim and was terrible at it, Lance gulped.

“W-what if it was a fluke?” Lance whispered, Hunk heard and stopped glancing at Pidge’s screen, his face unbelieving. 

“Lance, I was kidding, it wasn’t a fluke!” Hunk exclaimed, regretting saying anything ever. Lance tuned out Hunks apologies and protestations, how had he not thought of that, the idea that maybe he was just lucky that one time, there was a glitch in the sim. Now everything within him was telling him not to go to the class, he was only going to embarrass himself. The Lance deep within him was telling him to clamber back into bed and just wallow, and suddenly Pidge was in front of him, her eyebrows drawn together with her hands on his shoulders. 

“Lance.” Pidge sharply broke him out of his daze. “Stop it now. You’re amazing, you’re going to be fine, fuck everybody else, okay?!”

Lance nodded, still feeling a little lost. He couldn’t give up, this was the thing that was bringing him closer to the stars, closer to Keith, closer to-

Lance threw on his shoes and darted out the door, his feet stamping determined on the ground. His hands balled up into fists, he was going to wreck this class no matter what.

 

Lance was finally in a position to say that he knew exactly what it felt like to be Keith. He’d not too long ago wished that they could swap places, but now that he was here, he got exactly why Keith was the way he was. Why Keith was so stand off-ish, so defensive and unapproachable, because people were fucking assholes.

The minute someone was intimidated or felt like someone was better than then, as Lance did to Keith, they just immediately hated them, for no reason, and Lance felt BAD. He felt worse than he did at the time for treating Keith the way that he did. Lance had never felt anything like it, walking out of the simulator to the faces of pure hatred, maybe hatred was strong, but if looks could kill. He so desperately wanted to behave like and think that he didn’t care, but my god, he cared. These were his classmates, they were going to be spending an entire year in each others’ company. He daren’t look at them as Iverson happily clapped him on the back and told him he’d beaten another record. As soon as the class ended, Lance was the first to leave, he didn’t want to hear what everyone else was saying, he half-sprinted all the way to the coffee shop to wait until Hunk and Pidge had finished their classes, so they could walk to their afternoon lecture together.

The coffee shop was near empty, and Allura was leant against the counter, playing on her phone, biting her lip, her hair scraped up into a messy bun with a pen sticking out the side, she looked up when she heard the bell at the door go and saw Lance’s face, he looked devastated. She motioned with her head to a chair near the window and he simpered over and sat down. She made him his usual drink and brought it over, Lance was staring wistfully out into the distance, not really looking at anything in particular.

“Hey Lance,” Allura interjected, trying to pull him out of his misery. He looked up and silently thanked her with her eyes. Something caught his eye finally and he glanced around. 

“Hey, where’s Shiro?” He asked, Allura hesitated, wondering whether or not she should tell him, or keep it as a surprise.

“He’s not well today unfortunately.” Allura decided the surprise was better. “He’s upstairs in bed recovering, so I offered to look after the shop today!”

Lance just shrugged and carried on staring out of the window, she looked around to confirm that no new customers had entered and sat down opposite him.

“How are you getting on?” She finally asked, nudging his hand gently. Lance glanced down at her hand and up to her face, his eyes sad.

“I’m fine, thanks.” He responded, he knew he sounded unconvincing but he didn’t really want to get into all of the conflicting things he was feeling. This was supposed to be a good day! He was supposed to be enthusiastic about the rest of the year, and working hard. His fears of failing had been negated but now he had a year of apathy to worry about.

“Are you sure? You’re not really convincing me with that look in your eyes.” Allura pushed, she was driven to get him to let it out. Lance glanced at her and then down at his coffee, his resolve wasn’t going to last long, he’d grown addicted to venting and hadn’t had anyone good to vent to since Keith was gone.

“I mean, I’m fine. Really,” Lance sucked in a breath, Allura could feel it coming. “But… I’m not. I’m just… all I can think about is Keith and how much I miss him, and how much has been left unsaid and how much I wish things could have been different. I wish we’d left things on better terms, I’m terrified that he’s going to meet someone new and better and beautiful and more talented and fall madly in love with them. I’m terrified that one day I’ll wake up and he’ll be gone, there’ll be someone at my door or a phone call or even worse a letter!”

“I get it, I feel like that all the time.” Allura sympathised, she had been there, she was STILL there. Now that her father was as high up in the garrison as he was, he was probably putting himself in danger almost every day.

“I know, and I know that you were left by someone even closer to you than I did. Heck, we aren’t even technically dating yet.” Lance whined, feeling bad that he was allowing his pain to compare to Allura’s.

“Lance, it doesn’t matter, that pain is still real, that pain is still there.” She reassured him.

“I know that I’m not the only one that’s lost him…” Lance continued, staring into his coffee intently. “But it just feels harder because we left things so messy and so… confusing. There was so much I wanted to say to him that I couldn’t because I was so fucking mad at him. Hell, I’m still mad at him because he did such a stupid thing…”

“Well, I know what Keith did was stupid and bad and hurt you so, so much.” Allura sucked her teeth, hoping that she could be honest with Lance. “But I know he was so desperately trying to do what he thought was right by you. I can remember the night he told me and I asked him why he wouldn’t consider giving it a shot, he just said he couldn’t hurt you like that. I think, for Keith, he’d been abandoned his whole life, he knew what that felt like, and he couldn’t do that to you.”

Lance paled at that.

“I mean, it doesn’t excuse what he did.” Allura continued, watching the cars go past the window. “But there you go.”

“Wow uh, that was profound.” Lance swallowed, his hands wrapped around his coffee mug, the warmth seeping into his hands. “I’d never actually… considered Keith’s feelings really.”

“You were both so wrapped up in your own stuff and your own interpretations of each other that, you’d kind of forgotten there was another person in this.” Allura smiled, it was bittersweet.

Lance had been so blinded by the “betrayal” that he hadn’t thought to listen to what Keith was actually saying. It was difficult to hear but he felt like what Allura had said was important nonetheless.

“How did you and Shiro get together?” Lance suddenly asked, he’d only seen Shiro and Allura happy together, he wasn’t sure at this point how long they had been together. Allura looked at him and regarded him for a second, as if considering divulging something she shouldn’t.

“I’ve known him for a long time,” Allura said decisively unwilling to give anything away, Lance groaned and flailed in his chair.

“C’mon Allura! I just poured my heart and soul out to you!” Lance cried pathetically. “I had an epiphany in your presence! Why are you being so secretive?!”

Allura looked at him, dead in the eye. Her gaze unwavering. “That’s classified.”

Lance groaned, but with impeccable timing like always, Pidge and Hunk wandered in, their voices bright and excited, telling each other about their classes with enthusiasm, but both their smiles faltered when they saw Lance, who was gazing up at them with sad eyes.

“Hey, how did your class go?” Hunk hazarded the question, Lance looked up at him, his face unamused.

“It was fine, it’s just everyone hates my guts.” He stood up and downed his coffee, grabbing his notebook from the table as they got ready to leave for their lecture. Hunk scoffed and Pidge shook her heard. Suddenly Shiro came bursting through the front door with a huge grin on his face and Lance gazed at Allura.

“Sick in bed, huh?” Lance whispered. Allura winced as if she’d been burned. Hunk and Pidge were already through the front door when Lance mouthed ‘I’m watching you’ at a very pink Allura.

 

Christmas break rolled around quicker than Lance would have liked, it meant that he was closer to a Christmas spent without Keith. Hunk was heading home for the Christmas break and Lance and Pidge were getting ready to be picked up by his mother. Since Pidge’s father and brother were still far away researching, Pidge had nowhere to go over Christmas, and Lance’s mothering side could not live with himself knowing that Pidge was alone for the holidays, so he asked and she excitedly accepted. Lance hadn’t considered that Pidge might be bringing her gigantic over-clocking computer with two gigantic 32 inch monitors. They just managed to safely put her computer and monitors into the boot of the car, but Lance could feel how low to the ground the car felt.

Lance’s mom gave them both a big hug and a kiss before they set off. Lance slept for most of the way whilst Pidge told Lance’s mother everything about her new classes, Lance had heard it all before, but didn’t seem half as interested when he first heard it as his mother was. Who surprised Lance by asking Pidge deeper questions about engineering, Lance wasn’t aware that his mother had a clue about engineering, he obviously severely underestimated her. Or maybe he’d never cared before to ask, which made him feel even worse.

When they arrived several hours later Pidge and Sofia were happily chatting and carried Pidge’s computer into the house, Lance trailed after them with his bag in tow.

Sofia had managed to wrangle it so that Pidge got her own room, with a desk perfectly cleared for use, they set up her computer and chatted away about how Pidge built the thing herself. And Lance clambered into his bed, still half asleep. He remembered in that moment when he was last in this bed, and cringed deeply. He had taken that kiss so for granted, it was a shitty thing to do because it was Keith’s first kiss, but Lance didn’t regret it. He regretted everything that happened after that.

There was a gentle rapping at his door, he sat up, bundled up in his sheets, his eyes barely open.

Sofia wandered in and perched herself on the end of Lance’s bed, a beaming smile on her face.

“So?” Sofia urged in a not so subtle way. Lance hadn’t even really thought about the fact that he’d not spoken to his mother in ages, he’d been so wrapped up in his classes and studying he’d not even had the chance to tell her about what happened between Keith and him. But Lance loved talking about it so he didn’t mind relaying it over and over again.

 

Christmas day rolled around, Lance had never ever not wanted Christmas to happen, but it just seemed a little lonelier this year. He found it strange that he finally had someone to spend the holidays with and they weren’t even here. He woke up late and sluggish, only got out of bed when Rebecca came in and physically dragged him out of bed and down the stairs. Pidge was sat happily by the tree with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand and a bright green, gaudy as all hell santa hat perched on her head. Lance collapsed on the sofa beside her with his head resting against her shoulder.

“You look ridiculous.” He muttered, Pidge stuck her tongue out at him and sipped her hot chocolate.

“You’re such a scrooge.” Pidge responded, nudging him with her shoulder.

“Bitter and alone?” Lance considered out loud. “Bah, humbug.”

“Also, I look adorable.” Pidge shrugged once more, taking another sip of her hot chocolate, Lance groaned and turned as his mother entered the room with a cup of coffee for him.

“Gracias.” He thanked sloppily. Taking a big sip he sat up and noticed a message from Allura, along with a photo attached.

Allura_ Merry Christmas! Here’s a little Christmas quiz! Guess who!

Lance opened the picture and saw a group of 12 or so people, he looked through each person and didn’t really recognize anyone.

Lance_ Why have you sent me an old-ass photo of a bunch of randoms?

Allura_ Jesus, did you not notice the gorgeous man?

Lance glanced at the photo once more, showed it to Pidge who pointed excitedly at a person that Lance finally recognized as a young Coran. His hair was as bright ginger as ever, but styled as if it defied gravity, coming up to a point that looked like it could kill a man.

“Hey, who’s that next to him?” Pidge pointed at the white haired, bronzed beauty stood next to Coran, they both stared at him until they noticed his peircing, colourful eyes

Lance_ Allura, yo is that your dad?

Allura_ Yes, why?

Lance_ Damn, he’s so fine. I can see where you get your good looks from!

Allura_ Goddamn it Lance.

Allura_ Stop ogling my dad and read the caption underneath.

Lance un-zoomed the photo and scrolled to the caption beneath.

‘Recruits of 19XX, the greatest recruits that the Galaxy Garrison has ever seen.’

Lance_ Wow, that’s really impressive.

Allura_ Ikr, anyway, this is your proper Christmas present.

Another picture, Lance opened it and felt his stomach fill with butterflies as his eyes immediately picked out Keith. It was a photo very much in the same style as the one with Alfor and Coran but with the newer recruits. Keith was stood in the middle, his eyes closed and mouth opened in laughter, in his Garrison uniform Lance could have died he looked so good. There were a couple of other recruits around him, he noticed one, who had his arm around Keith’s shoulder, leaning into him with his head angled towards him, a grin on his face too. He looked like he was the source of Keith’s laughter. Lance paled as he took in the other recruit, rugged with a strong jaw and messy blond hair, he was beautiful. Lance had to stop looking after a while, that guy was making Keith laugh like Lance had never had a chance to. Pidge noticed and nudged him again.

“Lance?” 

Lance looked back down at the photo, he hadn’t really seen Keith laugh like that, he’d seen him smile, he’d seen him in all levels of pleasure but he’d never actually seen his eyes close like that and his whole body react in happiness. Lance was being ridiculous, Keith would never even dream of cheating on him. But then, would that even be considered cheating, they weren’t even technically dating. This was just a photo, Keith was a pretty oblivious person, he probably didn’t even realise the body language was so flirty, especially since Lance noticed with relief Keith’s arms were folded.

“Lance? Have you read the caption?” Pidge shook him out of his internal rambling monologue. Lance shook his head and scrolled down a little.

‘New recruits of 20XX with the skill and dexterity the likes of which hasn’t been seen since 19XX in particular the fighter pilot Keith Kogane who’s skills vastly out-rank those that came before him’

Lance beamed happily at the praise being rained down on Keith, so much so he almost forgot about the blonde guy.

Allura_ My father is the fighter pilot your future husband has destroyed the reputation of.

Lance_ rekt.

Lance_ Also, whyyyyyy would you say that?

Allura stopped responding, he knew she was probably thinking in her head something about it being classified.

“Did you notice the scar?” Pidge asked, leaning forward so that Lance flopped down fully onto the sofa.

“Scar?” Lance suddenly sat up, glancing down at the photo, trying to ignore blondie and focusing on Keith, and there it was, just under the left-hand side of his lip running down his chin and onto his neck, was a rather fresh looking scar.

“Oh god,” Lance said, his heart leaping out of his chest, what kind of stuff were they doing? Pidge looked up at him a little concerned.

“Lance, are you going to help mama with dinner?” Sofia called from the kitchen, Lance groaned and sat up.

“She misses Keith.” Teased Robert as Lance stood up and slowly waddled into the kitchen.

“That makes the two of us.” Lance muttered.

 

Dinner was over, and it was rather successful, Lance had learnt a thing or two living with Hunk, who whilst Lance was prepping sent a picture of him and his families feast with a gigantic, victorious grin on his face.

As Lance and Pidge retired to the sofa, sleepy and groggy after consuming twice their bodyweights in food, Lance noticed a message on his phone, he leapt from his chair when he saw that it was from Keith. He audibly screamed and sent Pidge flying off the end of the sofa.

It was a photo and a message, and Lance’s heart literally stopped when he saw the photo. It was a very embarrassed but sincere looking Keith dressed in a familiar-looking handmade Christmas jumper and holding up a peace sign. He looked beautiful, his cheeks were pink and his hair long and glossy as ever, but Lance could see the scar on his chin much clearer now, it was healing but it was still pink and angry-looking.

The message attached to the image read –  
HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I hope this message reaches you, and thank your mama for my beautiful gift, it’s keeping me cosy. I’ll be visiting Draco soon, and I don’t mean Harry Potter. Hopefully will be able to keep regular contact with you soon. I miss you more than there are stars in the sky, and there are A LOT, I can’t tell you how I know that, because as I’m sure you can guess, it’s classified. You are and always will be my dream. Enjoy your Christmas gift.

Lance looked up and Pidge was in front of him holding a box.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wob wob wob  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	15. Classified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Cadets.” Iverson commanded, they fell silent and stared up at him. “Every year, we send the brightest and best off on a cargo mission to deliver supplies to one of the Garrison’s ships in the galaxy. I have decided, that you four will be that team."

Lance was just staring at Pidge, who was staring back, her lips tight in a determined line. She proffered him the box once more and he was struck dumb. How… had they orchestrated this? Pidge must have been putting herself in a serious line of fire to organize all this. Now Lance just had to face the contents of the box, it was too big to be an engagement ring Lance realized with a huge sigh of relief. He finally reached out and took it, slowly and shakily undoing the ribbon. He pulled off the top of the box and his cheeks warmed as he took in the contents. It was a pile, probably 50 strong, of Keith selfies. Lance couldn’t have asked for a better gift in all of his life. Something he would have never thought of on his own, but now that it was in front of him, it was perfect. Lance had all sorts of new photos to put on his wall now. It seemed the photos had been piled in chronological order, Lance fell back onto the sofa and pulled the pile out, going through them one by one. The entire family had congregated on the sofa behind Lance, slowly watching as Lance went through each one, cooing and gushing where necessary.

The very first picture was of Keith in the car, with Coran who was posing with an eyebrow raised and a blinding smile, Lance could have sworn there was actual lens flare on the photo. Keith looked so scared but tentatively excited at the same time, he looked so young in comparison to the Christmas photo that Lance just received.

The next was a photo of Keith in his uniform, he looked extremely embarrassed, cheeks red but he was smiling nonetheless. Lance’s heart soared seeing how handsome he looked in his uniform.

The next couple of photos were pictures of Keith with his fellow classmates, they all seemed to be getting along great, Lance couldn’t help but notice that one blonde guy, always in the background, with a shit-eating grin on his face. Lance desperately tried to concentrate on the important thing, Keith’s beautiful goofy face.

There were another couple of photos of Keith extremely red and sweaty, obviously after tough training sessions, and Lance was trying not to reminisce about the last time he saw Keith flustered and sweaty in front of HIS ENTIRE FAMILY. As the photos continued, various pictures of Keith having garrison food, Lance could see how Keith was starting to slowly bulk up, the way his uniform was fitting him was slowly changing, Lance imagined that Keith would look very different with his clothes off now and again, Lance was trying not to imagine that with his ENTIRE FAMILY SAT AROUND HIM. Soon, he came across the photo that he had dreaded, it was a photo of Keith’s cut when it was fresh. Keith’s grin was huge and beaming, like he’d earned something, but it was red, angry, fleshy and bleeding and Lance sucked his teeth looking at it. The entirety of Lance’s family all did the same thing looking at it, but couldn’t help but laugh at Keith’s apparent pride in it.

“Keith asked me to write on it saying ‘Keith’s first battle scar’ but it seemed kind of messed up.” Pidge laughed. “Seems like a bit of a rite of passage in the Garrison.”

The next few photos were of the scar gradually healing, suddenly another photo was of Keith and Alfor, Alfor was grinning and pointing at Keith’s scar and then pointing at his own cheek, Allura had mentioned Alfor’s scar before, and it seemed it they were matching.

The last photo was of Keith in his flight gear, smiling slightly, seeming a little afraid. Lance wanted to cry, he wanted to cry and hold Keith, because he looked the perfect combination of terrified and excited. Lance sniffled and looked at Pidge, who also looked as though she were on the edge of tears.

“Our baby,” Sofia sniffled softly, Lance glanced at his mother who had her hands clutched to her chest, near tears too. The kids had fallen asleep on the sofa, Lance smiled at them all, they’d met Keith once and seemed to completely adore him. He stood up and rounded the sofa to his mother who he gathered up in a big hug, Pidge joined in and Lance just let it go, tears streaming seemingly endlessly down his cheeks, his chest aching in huge wracking sobs. He’d held it together for so long, living in a kind of bubble where he knew that Keith wasn’t around, but the reality of where he actually was, was a little obscured. It was hard to describe, but now he had these photos which he adored, every single one. But it was bittersweet, he could see were Keith was, the kind of dangers he was facing, the kind of fear he was feeling all on his own. It was the greatest and worst gift Lance could have ever asked for.

 

The day before New Year’s Eve they clambered into the car once more with all their things, ready to return home. They had originally planned to stay a couple more weeks, until the January semester started, but Allura insisted they all be together for New Year’s Eve. Lance had sent Allura a photo of Keith’s photo with Alfor and she rang him with happy tears, she begged them to come home for new years and spend it all together, Sofia insisted that they go, just happy that Lance had such amazing friends all around him.

The ride home was quietly emotional, Lance had forgotten how much he missed his mom. He’d been so wrapped up in everything that he’d totally forgotten about his family, he made himself a vow that he would never go longer than two days without calling her. Pidge fell asleep in the back of the car and Lance’s mom reached out to hold his hand.

“I could not be more proud of you, mijo.” She looked as though she was trying not to cry again. “Since the last time I saw you, you’re like a new man. I know I wouldn’t be the only one to be proud of you too, my love.”

Lance beamed and gripped her hand tightly, his stomach swirling with emotions. She was right, so much had changed in that time. Back then he was in so much angry denial, whereas now, as much as he was heartbroken and lonely, he was happy.

 

Lance woke up on New Year’s Eve to banging on his door, he groaned loudly and Hunk came bursting in, his grin wide.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR BUDDY!” Hunk exclaimed happily, Lance tried to stop himself from crying for the third time in under a week and leapt out of bed and wrapped himself around Hunk like a koala. He used everything within him to stop the tears from falling and Hunk stroked his back lovingly. “I’m happy to see you too, buddy.”

Lance finally let go after what seemed like minutes and without a word handed Hunk the box that Pidge and Keith had given them. Hunk gave him a quizzical look.

“Help me put these up.” Lance grinned, his voice wavering slightly with emotion. Hunk lifted the lid and noticed the first picture and grinned, a little watery-eyed. Lance sometimes selfishly forgot that Keith and Hunk were best friends, closer even then Lance and Keith, he felt greedy keeping all this to himself. They spent the next hour laughing and tacking pictures to the wall. Lance had had Pidge print the picture Keith sent him on Christmas day of him in his home-made Christmas jumper and gifted it to his mother. Lance hadn’t even bothered to ask how she managed to get it into the garrison, but he thought he had a decent idea how. Sofia had blubbed once more as she stuck it to the fridge, and Lance beamed, loving how much his mother adored Keith.

Hunk and Lance had managed to tack all the pictures in chronological order, they’d made enough room that if Keith continued to send Lance pictures, he’d be able to stick them up as well. He looked a bit creepy, having a Keith dedicated mural but he didn’t care, it felt like these glimpses into Keith’s life was keeping them close to him. Pidge wandered in halfway through and started helping too, when they were done they all stood, admiring their handiwork, grinning at each other.

A couple of hours later, Allura and Shiro arrived. Allura burst into tears when she saw the photo wall and almost choked Lance out at the force with which she hugged him. Lance hadn’t realised how freakishly strong she was as she picked him up and spun him around. She gazed closely at the one of Keith and her father and sniffled happily.

“They look so happy.” She whimpered, Shiro wrapped an arm around her and kissed her forehead.

“Yeah, they do.” Shiro smiled. Suddenly his eyes fell on Keith’s photo of his injury, he all but tore it from the wall in a panic. 

“What on earth?!” Shiro seethed. “How did he get a cut like that?!”

“Oh c’mon Shiro, you can hardly talk,” Allura scoffed, her nose a little blocked from her tears. “I think a scar is nothing compared to-“ She suddenly remembered where she was and stopped talking immediately. They all looked at her and Shiro’s face was twitching.

Lance, Pidge and Hunk looked at each other and sighed. 

“Classified.” They said in unison.

 

They sat in front of the television watching the countdown, Allura and Shiro were sat close together getting ready for their new year’s kiss, Hunk and Lance thumping the coffee table in excitement, and Pidge was checking her watch nervously. Lance was too wrapped up in his thumping to the beat to notice Pidge’s edginess. The ball dropped and it was a new year-

“EVERYONE!” Pidge screamed. Everyone stopped and stared, Shiro and Allura were mere centimetres from each other and Hunk and Lance were frozen in the air with fists raised. “My room, immediately.” And she marched off. More out of curiosity than anything else, they followed. Lance had never been in Pidge’s room before, he wasn’t sure what he had expected. It was all fairly simple, save for a few pictures of her and her family on the wall, smiling and looking happy. Lance had never met her family, but new that they lived far away and were always working. Pidge had never gone into detail about what it was they were doing, something about researching. There were plants everywhere, little pots with cacti and succulents, Orchids all along the window sill and a tiny Bonsai on her desk.

Pidge sat herself in her gigantic computer chair in front of her monitors, she switched them on to reveal a grainy security camera footage.

“Pidge, what on earth do you think you’re doing.” Shiro exclaimed, very sternly. Allura’s face became very stony at what she was seeing. Hunk was the same.

“Pidge, you know you’re putting yourself and all of us in danger right now.” Allura’s voice mirrored Shiro’s. Hunk shook his head solemnly and Lance was totally lost.

“Calm down, honestly.” Pidge hissed quietly. “Do you really think I’m some kind of amateur.”

Suddenly, in the footage on screen appeared a nervous looking Keith, he glanced from side to side and looked straight up into the camera, Lance gasped.

“Is this a live feed?” He quietly asked. Pidge nodded and they all moved closer to the screen. Pidge typed something into the computer and a light flashed in the background. Keith noticed and quickly held up a piece of paper that was in his hands.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I love and miss you all! Make lots of good resolutions and make sure you do them all!

 

Lance again, was willing himself not to cry, Shiro was clutching Pidge’s desk chair like he might rip it open with his bare hands, Allura was doing the same thing but to Shiro’s shirt. Pidge typed something once more and the light flashed twice. Keith spun the piece of paper around.

 

Go up to the roof, you can see Cetus, the sea monster. Lance’s spirit animal. We’ll be watching the stars together, meet you there!

 

Keith smiled tucked the piece of paper under his arm and raised his hands in a heart shape before scampering off down the corridor. Pidge quickly disconnected from the feed and started typing furiously, before spinning in her chair and looking up at them all.

“You heard him, ROOF.” 

They all clambered out of Lance’s window and up the fire escape and onto the roof. The fairy lights that Lance had forgotten to take down were still there, completely dead but still wrung up in the same positions. Pidge had brought some blankets and they all laid down on the floor of the roof, staring up into the sky. The stars were bright and brilliant, Lance was suddenly so grateful that they lived in a place that there was very little light pollution, for a university town anyway.

Shiro was pointing at the sky, helping Allura see the constellations, his arm around her and her head on his chest, they were laughing, seemingly forgotten about how angry they were with Pidge, who was smiling and clutching a pillow she’d managed to smuggle up to the roof to her chest. Hunk was beside her and Lance was beside him.

They were now all staring up at the stars in silence, and Lance let the tears flow now. It was so beautiful and so fucking heart-breaking at the same time. Lance could imagine that Keith had snuck out of his barracks and was doing the same thing, laid on the roof. Keith felt so close and so far away, and Lance’s heart was so full and so broken knowing that Keith was looking at the same night sky.

They stayed there until the sun started to rise, when the sky turned a devastatingly beautiful shade of purple.

 

Lance started receiving regular pictures from Keith after new year’s. Every Sunday at 1pm he’d receive a picture and a message.

The first one that Lance received after Christmas was a picture that Keith had taken on New year’s eve of the sky that they had both fallen asleep to on the roof.  
He captioned it –

It was really lucky that it was Coran who found me asleep on the roof, else I might have been kicked out. I hope that you felt as close to me as I did to you, if I shut my eyes I could imagine that you were right there beside me, but then if I did that, I’d miss the beauty of the constellation that reminds me of you so much, not because you remind me of a whale, but because you remind me of the sea. I miss you more than I can say.

Lance had tried repeatedly to send messages back, to no avail.

The next photo was a selfie of Keith in a black undershirt, worn out from a work out with the caption

Here’s a shameless photo of me. It has no meaning, I just thought you’d appreciate me hot and sweaty. I’m usually humble but c’mon, I have a scar now.

Lance almost died. Keith couldn’t have been more accurate, Lance definitely appreciated it. He looked insanely hot, his shirt clinging to him in places they didn’t before. Lance didn’t show that photo to anyone else.

After a couple more photos it gradually hit Lance that Keith was in space. There were very slight and almost un-noticeable hints until finally, Keith was fucking floating. He was literally in zero-g. It was a photo of Keith, holding a peace sign, but he was upside down, his feet not touching the floor, his feet weren’t touching fucking anything. Lance would have freaked out, but he thought this must be totally normal for Keith. He captioned it

DELETE THIS AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE IT, I WILL BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE IF ANYONE FINDS OUT YOU HAVE THIS PHOTO.

Lance heeded his warning, but not before getting Pidge to print the photo out so he could stick it to his wall, chuckling darkly.

 

Lance was complaining loudly, sat in the coffee shop staring at his phone, desperately trying to message Keith back, he spotted Allura appear from the back door and raced over, hoping she’d have the answer.

The picture that Keith had sent was an apprehensive but smiling one, with the caption

I wish you could message me back, I really miss you, I miss the sound of your voice, I miss your sassy banter. I really hope you actually still like me, else I’m some massively creepy stalker sending you all these photos.

“Allura, why will my messages not send?!” Lance groaned loudly, showing her the picture of Keith, she looked from the picture to Lance sympathetically.

“Ah…” Allura sighed, she really didn’t want to tell Lance it was classified anymore. “It’s because you’re not next of kin.”

“Oh…” Lance blanched, he stood up and stared down at the photo of Keith, desperate to reassure him.

“Sorry Lance,” Allura sighed, rubbing his shoulder sadly. She knew that it must be frustrating for him. “You have to be either married or related to be allowed access to the network I’m afraid.”

Lance sighed audibly.

“Look’s like one of these day’s he will be your future husband.”

“Stop iiiiiit!”

 

They were finally halfway through the year, which meant, at last. They were reunited as a team, save for a fighter pilot.

Hunk, Pidge and Lance wandered into the university building and towards their lecture hall, were teams missing members were told to go, which meant their team was to be broken up and shared, each person had to choose a secondary specialist subject that meant they could potentially make up a team with other members. They were devastated, they didn’t want to be split up. As they climbed the stairs solemnly, they were met by Iverson at the top of the stairs, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Cadet team 4, come with me.” He said lowly, his voice stern and serious, they looked amongst themselves, terrified. Had Pidge’s hacking been discovered, were they about to be in serious trouble? Was Keith about to be thrown out of the Garrison due to Pidge’s stupid mistake. Lance’s heart and mind were racing, Pidge exuded a calm confidence, Hunk was chewing his fingernails obsessively. They continued down the corridor after a very silent Iverson, until they realised that they were stood outside the simulator. Iverson gestured to the sim door, which theatrically began to open.

“Introducing your new Fighter Pilot.” Iverson allowed the smallest hint of a smile to grace his lips. The sim doors fully opened to reveal a very smug, almost villainous Shiro as he spun in the pilots chair to face them, his elbows on the chairs arms, hands met in the middle like a super villain.

“He made me do this.” Iverson shook his head at the dramatics, Shiro remained put, a shit-eating grin on his face. 

Lance suddenly noticed something about Shiro, from the middle of his bicep down on his right arm, was a matte-grey metal-looking armour, in each of the joints in his fingers glowed an eerie purple light.

“Gentlemen, gentlelady.” Shiro finally said, after soaking up the teams shocked looks. “Welcome.”

Hunk and Pidge slowly wandered up, gazing closely at Shiro’s arm. Pidge’s eyes were bright, her mouth pulled into a fascinated smile. Hunk was the same, Shiro proffered his arm out to the two of them and they both audibly gasped.

“W-what is that?” Lance pointed, shaken up, were they gonna get cool armour like that too? Shiro looked at him, an eyebrow raised, unbelieving.

“Lance, don’t tell me you never noticed.” Pidge gaped at him, as if it were common knowledge to everyone and their cat.

“Notice what?! You have NEVER worn that before!” Lance exclaimed, gesturing to it as if no one else was noticing.

“Lance, I’ve always had a prosthetic arm.” Shiro said flatly, still shocked that Lance had never noticed before. “This is my piloting arm.”

“W-what?!” Lance was speechless, HOW had he never noticed that Shiro wore a prosthetic. He nearly always wore short-sleeve shirts, was it just so sophisticated that you couldn’t tell just by glancing? Lance cursed himself for not taking more notice, he seemed a little ignorant right now. He tentatively approached, taking it in his hands.

“But how?! This looks super technical and advanced! Where did you get this from?” Lance gushed, looking closely at the purple glow coming from all the notches and joints, it was flawless.

“THAT’S CLASSIFIED.” Shiro and Iverson yelled at the same time. Lance rolled his eyes, of course. This is what Allura had nearly slipped up on, on new year’s.

“Moving on, we’re going to do a quick sim, just to test out how well you four work as a team.” Iverson interjected in an attempt to stop the cadets from looking too closely at Shiro’s sci-fi arm. “Get into your uniforms and start the simulator whenever you’re ready.”

The simulator was flawless, Shiro wasn’t as quick and daring as Keith, but he was an exceptionally skilled pilot nonetheless. Lance managed to keep his track record of destroying every single enemy ship and Pidge and Hunk did their parts flawlessly. Shiro had an exceptionally smooth pilots’ voice, it was like melted caramel it was so smooth. Maybe Lance had a thing for pilots.

Once the sim finished, the doors opened to Iverson, but also to a crowd of students who watched on in awe, they made a pretty damn good team. Iverson smirked happily and took them into a private room, Shiro sat down casually as if he knew exactly what was going on, was this why he kept disappearing? More often than not, Allura was in the coffee shop by herself, basically running the place, and well, Lance might add.

Pidge looked the picture of relief, it seemed like everything she’d planned with Keith had gone off without a single hitch.

“Cadets.” Iverson commanded, they fell silent and stared up at him. “Every year, we send the brightest and best off on a cargo mission to deliver supplies to one of the Garrison’s ships in the galaxy. I have decided, that you four will be that team. It’s a simple mission, it involves traveling from our hangar a couple of hours from here, travelling to the location of the chosen ship, dropping off cargo, having a guided – very closely guided – tour of the ship, before you come back onto your cargo ship and travel back to earth.”

Silence once more. Lance couldn’t physically process what was being said to him. They were actually being given the opportunity to go into space. His stomach did backflips when he realised they might, by some miracle, be going to the ship that Keith might be on. Pidge looked as though she were screaming internally and Hunk looked a little pale, but excited. Shiro had a smirk on his face as he glanced at each of them, clearly enjoying their shock and awe.

“You must understand that this is extremely sensitive information, you cannot tell friends, family, anybody about this.” Iverson’s voice was low and serious once more, the smile gone. “If, and only if, you agree to this, you’ll be asked to sign a confidentiality agreement, I cannot stress enough how important your co-operation is on this.”  
The three of them nodded, still stunned into silence.

“I must also stress the severity of anything untoward in your past, futures and present.” Iverson continued, looking between them. “Which means as per the confidentiality agreement, all your personal possessions, computers, mobile phones etcetera will be searched, if anything between now and the time you graduate is found, there will be serious consequences.” 

Lance’s stomach dropped, he had a shit tonne of evidence from the garrison plastered all over his bedroom wall. Pidge had tonnes of sensitive information on her computer, Hunk was the only person in the room other than Shiro who was completely clean. Lance daren’t look at Pidge, for fear that they might give something away. All three nodded, Shiro looked at Pidge knowingly.

“Upon Shiro’s recommendation, you will be given a couple of days to decide.” Iverson nodded, Lance’s body flooded with relief, that was plenty of time to erase all of his messages on his phone and remove the pictures, although reluctantly, he figured he could just send them to his mother to keep them somewhere safe. Pidge seemed a little more relieved too, though it did mean removing almost everything from her hard drive.

“I will come to you in your lecture this Friday, and you will let me know then if you agree.” Iverson finalised. “But until then, I ask that you do not discuss this with anybody else, again, I cannot stress how serious the severity of your punishment will be if you do.”

“There is one more thing,” Iverson looked at them. “Even if you do agree, and your checks come up clean, if you do not pass your exams for this year, the opportunity will be dissolved. No exceptions.”

They left the classroom, Iverson nodded and walked down the corridor, Lance and Pidge stared at each other and Hunk let out a huge breath.

Lance wanted to cry, he was SO EXCITED, but also fucking terrified. He was suddenly hit with the realisation that he hadn’t even thought about his exams. The only reason he passed last year was because Keith worked so hard with him, Keith made it easy, Keith made it worth doing. And now, he had nothing but all this pressure on him. Pidge and Hunk would pass easy, no questions asked, which meant it all landed on Lance. And Lance did not cope well under pressure. They quietly left the building and stiffly walked back to the apartment, this brand new, super-secret weight on their shoulders.

Shiro stopped them before they ascended the stairs, he nodded for Hunk to go and Pidge and Lance stood as if ready to be told off.

“You heard Iverson, all of what you both have has to disappear.” Shiro was stern. “I know it might hurt Lance, but those pictures could mean the end of both yours’ and Keith’s careers in the galaxy garrison, as well as a one way ticket to a fate worse than jail.”

“What should I do with them?” Lance’s heart breaking. He didn’t want to get rid of them, he loved them so much. Shiro could see the hurt in his eyes. He sucked in a big breath.

“Give them to Allura, she’ll sort it out. Just… delete all the photos and messages you have on your phone, and Pidge.” Shiro shot her a look, the same look he’d given her on new years eve. “You’re playing fast and loose with the law, make sure you don’t leave a single trace.”

“Again, I’m not an amateur.” Huffed Pidge, suitably offended.

“I’m serious, Pidge.” Shiro wasn’t messing around, Pidge stiffened up and nodded. Shiro waved them goodbye, his arm still glowing purple in the fading sunlight. Pidge and Lance looked at each other, both trying so hard not to freak out. They ascended the stairs and entered the apartment. Hunk was dancing around the kitchen happily, excited as all hell that he was going to space, Pidge disappeared into her room and Lance did the same.

He wasn’t ready for the emotions that overtook him as he finally looked at the Keith mural as a whole. From a distance, it looked like the stars, all dark backgrounds and pale faces, he inhaled a deep breath willing himself not to cry and started slowly taking down the pictures, he stacked them in chronological order and held the huge wad of photos in his hands, this was their entire relationship, cut up into hundreds of pieces. All these memories and pictures of Keith, unshared moments. He couldn’t bear to lose them, he just hoped that Allura would keep them safe, he wouldn’t know what he’d do if they had to disappear too, it made him feel like maybe Keith would disappear too.

Lance moped into the living room where Hunk was happily celebrating, he decided he was going to go through all of the photos one last time and commit them all to memory before he gave them to Allura. He’d stared at them every day for months and yet he didn’t truly appreciate how much they meant to him. Hunk noticed his solemnness and sat down beside him, his arm round his shoulder as Lance cried. Suddenly Hunk’s head popped up to attention.

“Wait…” He held out a hand to stop Lance, it was a picture of Keith smiling, but the attractive blonde guy was in the background. Lance really didn’t want to dwell on that photo. “I KNEW I recognized that guy!” Hunk exclaimed, jabbing his finger at the guy in the photo.

“You know him?” Lance asked quietly, still snivelling a little from the tears. Hunk nodded and held the photo a little closer.

“Yeah, this guy… What are the chances?” Hunk spoke quietly, Lance was just desperate to get to the point, he really didn’t want to be obsessing over this right now. “This guy he was at the same college as us, he was also a fighter pilot class. His name is Rolo,”

Lance had a name for the face now, which just made the fact he existed more real.

“Okay… were they friendly?” Lance asked, a little terrified of the response, he knew that Hunk was blunt and wouldn’t beat around the bush.

“Well, Rolo had a gigantic, extremely obvious and unsubtle crush on Keith.” Hunk confirmed, nodding. Lance’s stomach dropped, oh god, so he wasn’t being paranoid, there was definitely that flirty, close body language there in the recruits photo. “But you know Keith, he’s a little oblivious. Besides, he didn’t really seem that interested in him, so I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“What was Rolo like?” Lance asked, deciding to shovel himself deeper and deeper in anguish, because he was a glutton for punishment apparently.

“Eh, I never really liked the guy.” Hunk shrugged, giving the photo back to Lance. “Couldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him.”

Lance groaned audibly, great, he thought.

“Don’t worry about it Lance!” Hunk nudged him, nearly sending all the photos pouring out of Lance’s hands. “I guarantee that Keith will be too busy gushing about you and how much he loves you for Rolo to even think he might have a chance. You’re gonna have to just suck it up and trust your future husband.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Why does EVERYONE keep saying that?!”

 

It was a couple of weeks before their exam and they were beginning to feel the pressure, the pressure to pass was already there, but now they had a mission riding on their success. Their security checks had all passed and their confidentiality agreement was signed. Allura had promised to keep the photos safe. Lance was internally dying every single day knowing that he had to work twice as hard, Pidge and Hunk were trying to help as much as they could, trying to tutor him, but neither of them could get through to him the way that Keith did. Hunk was explaining an important piece of information to him when Pidge’s phone started ringing. She looked at it and squeaked, running out of the room, Lance and Hunk exchanged a look, after a couple of minutes of silence she raced back in.

“MY BROTHER’S HERE!” She all but screamed, Lance and Hunk winced at the decibels of her voice. “He managed to take some leave for my birthday! Can you believe it?!”

“Your birthday?!” Lance screeched, feeling infinitely bad. They had celebrated Hunk’s birthday back in January, Shiro’s in February, but Pidge had never mentioned her birthday.

“Don’t worry about it!” Pidge dismissed, too excited to care at this point. “He’s literally around the corner, he’s nearly here!” She was jumping around the room excitedly.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Pidge squealed once more, racing to the front door, there was a lot of commotion between the siblings saying hello to each other, Pidge’s brother all but had Pidge attached to him when he walked into the room. He had an extremely confident stride, his hair the same golden of Pidge’s and in a rugged style, the same big brown eyes, but he had a smile that could break hearts, even Hunk looked like he’d fallen in love.

“Lance, Hunk, this is Matt!” Pidge introduced him excitedly, Matt’s eyes fell on Lance and locked on, a self-satisfied smile appeared on his lips and Lance felt the heat rise in his cheeks. What was that look?!

“Hey, nice to meet you both.” Matt’s voice was as gorgeous as he was, just like Shiro’s, like melting caramel. “Katie, you didn’t tell me your roommates were so….” He trailed off looking at Lance like he was starving.

“Pidge.” Pidge corrected, slapping her brother in the arm.

“Right, yes, sorry.” Matt shook his head, genuinely sorry. Lance and Hunk looked at each other, Katie? What was happening?

“Just ignore him.” Pidge waved her hand dismissively. Pidge continued talking and all the while Matt kept stringent eye contact with Lance, he looked like he wanted to devour him, Lance couldn’t look away, his eyes were magnetic.

Pidge noticed and shoved her brother, hard, he finally broke eye contact and laughed casually.

“No, bad Matt.” Pidge muttered, slapping him on the arm again. “Lance is off limits, he’s practically married. Back off.”

“Ah, that is such a shame.” Matt oozed that kind of natural, casual confidence. “Because, honestly, damn. That is a real shame.”

Lance had never been rendered speechless by someone else’s flirting. Usually it was the other way around, it felt bizarre to actually have someone flirt with you. It felt kind of nice, he immediately internally slapped himself for enjoying it. He’d never known someone to be so forward, so self-assured.

“You’re such a pervert Matt! Seriously!” Pidge groaned, rubbing her face. “You’ve known him for five minutes and you look like you want to tear his clothes off!”

Lance gulped and rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks pink. Hunk looked uncomfortable, regretting being part of this bizarre back and forth. Lance decided he was going to give as good as he got, no way was he going to be rendered speechless by this guy.

“Ah, that’ll be where you get it from, Pidgie.” Lance chuckled darkly, Matt’s feigned innocence broke into a huge grin.

“Oh god, there’s two of you.” Pidge groaned audibly. Lance could feel Matt’s eyes on him, but didn’t dare look back at him, lest he be rendered catatonic.

“Anyway, you were going to take me to see Shiro?” Matt changed the subject and looked away from Lance and Lance was endlessly grateful for that. Pidge nodded, grinning happily.

“You guys coming?” Pidge asked, and before Lance or Hunk knew it, Lance was stood up confidently.

“Of course.” Lance crossed his arms trying to be cocky. He went into his room and pulled on his shoes, Hunk did the same, staring at Lance too, a look in his eyes that Lance couldn’t quite read. They walked to the coffee shop together, exchanging stories and banter. Matt continued his barrage of shameless flirting and Lance was trying so hard not to enjoy it. Hunk said nothing, his arms folded.

They arrived at the coffee shop, when Shiro looked up his face broke into a smile that Lance didn’t think he’d seen before, Allura followed suit, she hadn’t met Matt before, but she’d seemingly heard a lot about him.

“Matt!” Shiro exclaimed, coming round the counter to envelope him in an all-consuming hug. Lance noticed that Shiro had his normal everyday prosthetic on, now he knew about it he could tell, but even so now that he knew, it still looked extremely realistic and sophisticated. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to celebrate lil’ Pidgie here’s birthday!” Matt said as they pulled away from each other, he wrapped an arm around Pidge’s shoulders and rubbed her head patronizingly. He glanced at Allura who was now stood beside Shiro, beaming happily, Matt’s smile faltered but only for a split second as he took her in. 

“And who, is this beautiful creature?” Matt grinned, but even Lance could see that that smile wasn’t completely genuine. Allura blushed and Shiro smiled proudly, wrapping an arm around her.

“This is Allura,” Shiro smiled, Matt suddenly seemed to realise something, his face changed from grinning to shock.

“No way, not Alfor’s daughter!” Matt asked, Shiro nodded, a cock-sure grin on his face. “Oh my god! How did that happen?!” Shiro looked at Pidge, Hunk and Lance.

“Considering present company I can’t really say right now.” Shiro, chuckled, the three cadets groaned loudly. 

“Oh yeah, sounds about right.” Matt laughed, looking between the three of them, his eyes lingering once more on Lance, Lance tried so hard not to blush. It was pathetic, Hunk scoffed. “Anyway, what time are you guys finishing, I figured we could go back to Pidgie’s and have a couple of drinks?”

 

Shiro looked at his watch, and looked at Allura who smiled. 

“Well, it’s not like we’re busy, we could shut up shop a little earlier than usual.” Shiro just looked desperate to spend some time with his friend. Allura nodded and they set about tidying up, everyone lent a hand, cleaning the tables and sweeping the floor, Matt and Pidge made a little competitive game out of it, typical siblings, Lance thought. Hunk was as stiff as anything, eyes trained to the pile of dirt he was sweeping.

“Hunk, buddy, you okay?” Lance asked, once he knew they were out of earshot of everyone else.

“Lance, did you forget?” Lance had never heard Hunk so angry, he was a quietly angry person, he didn’t shout, his voice was spine-tinglingly low and terrifying.

“Forget what?” Lance stuttered, unsure what he meant.

“About Keith?” Hunk eyed him seriously. Lance paled at that, had he forgotten about Keith? Of course not, his thoughts were consumed by Keith, but at the same time… he had gotten a little wrapped up in the attention, he suddenly felt bad, Hunk was Keith’s best friend, he’d be betraying the both of them if he continued to encourage this attention.

“Of course not, Hunk.” He reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, it’s just he’s so forward it caught me off guard. I love Keith, you know I do!”

Hunk regarded him for a couple of seconds, and just nodded, remaining silent. He carried on sweeping and Lance felt guilt in the pit of his stomach.

 

Pidge as always wasn’t drinking, so she officiated drinking games in much the same manner as at Lance’s house last summer. It started to get loud and raucous before too long, Shiro and Allura passed out on the couch, Hunk disappeared off to bed and Pidge was asleep on the end of the sofa, it was just Matt and Lance left. Lance hadn’t even noticed until he felt the sofa dip beside him, Matt was very close.

“Uh… Matt?” Lance breathed, he knew it was just because Matt was drunk, but then so was Lance. Not a person was stirring in the room, he was gazing into Matt’s brown eyes, and they were mesmerizing.

“Lance.” His voice was deep now, taken down an octave or two with the booze. “I’m sorry… I can’t help myself.” Lance gulped, his heart racing as Matt drew closer and closer.

Lance had never, ever in his life ever considered the idea of cheating on someone. It was against all of his morals. But he was drunk and stupid and he had felt lonely for the longest time, so he stopped thinking, as far as he was aware, Keith could be fucking Rolo right now and the idea of that killed him, enough that he would want to hurt Keith back.

It wasn’t until Matt’s lips were nearly on his that he leapt back, his phone had just vibrated in his pocket and sent him flying to the floor. He quickly looked at his phone and saw that it was Keith, his face fell, his stomach somersaulted and he wanted to hit himself. What the fuck was he doing?! He would NEVER do that to Keith ever.  
He saw that it was a picture message, a very tired and sleepy Keith with a sad look on his face, Lance’s heart broke. The message read - 

I really miss you, I hope you’re okay. I know it’s probably late back home, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you. I hope you’re thinking of me too, I love you.

“Woah, that’s spooky.” Matt’s voice was right by Lance’s ear, Lance leapt back again. “It’s like he knew!”

Lance took a deep breath and wanted to burst into tears. He had nearly made the biggest mistake of his life, if it weren’t for Keith’s impeccable timing, Lance didn’t even want to think about it, he would have hoped he’d have enough self-control to stop himself.

“I’m sorry, Lance.” Matt sighed, Lance looked at him, surprised at his sudden apology. “That was a really shitty thing for me to do.”

“Y-yeah, it was a really shitty thing of me to even consider it.” Lance admitted, Matt looked so broken up about something, Lance kind of wanted to make him feel a bit better about it.

“No, you’re fine, I know you wouldn’t have gone through with it.” Matt reassured. “I’m just… y’know, trying to deal with my own stuff. I know it’s not an excuse but…” Matt’s eyes fell on Shiro and it hit Lance like a freight train.

“No way…” Lance spoke, he knew he’d seen Matt’s face drop earlier when he first met Allura, how his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Yeah… But I’m fine, I’ve dealt with it for this long.” Matt sighed, staring between Allura and Shiro. “It’s not like I can even hate her either, she’s fucking beautiful and the nicest person in the world.”

“True that.” Lance replied, standing up and patting Matt on the back. “The first time I properly met her I almost proposed.” Matt laughed, although it was a little flat. Matt patted the sofa next to him and Lance complied.

“Tell me about Keith anyway.” Matt smiled, leaning back into the sofa, he’d perfected the casual, confident façade.

“Oh, well… he’s away at the Garrison…” Lance smiled, just thinking about him made his cheeks ache. “He’s this amazingly talented pilot, he got snapped up by the garrison on the merit of his talent. He’s in fucking space right now, like that’s crazy… I miss him so much.” Lance was constantly in the business of trying not to cry.

“I can tell you think the world of him.” Matt smiled, he seemed genuinely pleased, Matt seemed like a really genuine guy.

“I think more than the world of him…” Lance sighed deeply, staring at the new picture on his phone, knowing that he’d have to delete it soon. “Anyway, let’s change the subject, because I’m probably going to cry. What do you do anyway?”

Matt’s face fell flat. “You don’t want to know.”

Lance’s curiosity piqued. “I really do.”

Matt shook his head. “You really don’t.”

“I really, really do.”

Matt levelled with him, looked him dead in the eye and said. “It’s classified.”

 

Matt stayed for a couple of days before he left, he and Lance had a connection, an understanding, and it was nice. After they had gotten over whatever it was that Matt had going on, he was just a really cool guy to hang out with, just easy going and friendly, exactly like Pidge. Hunk gradually warmed up to him and they left on good terms.

Lance was sat with his head in his hands in the window of the coffee shop, Hunk was sat next to him holding a book and Shiro was stood in front of them both, dictating. Lance threw his hands from his face and quickly wrote something down, Hunk looked at it, looked at Shiro and nodded. Shiro applauded happily.

“Oh man, Keith was right! You’re super intelligent!” Shiro gushed happily, Lance smiled, lapping up the praise. Hunk was grinning happily too.

“Aw come on, I bet it’s just because you’re both such good teachers.” Lance waved his hand laughing.

“Yeah, I’m glad… I always wanted to be a professor here.” Shiro smiled wistfully, seating himself at the table, watching the sun set. “I was most of the way through my training when my mother got sick, when she died I had to drop out and take this place over, I was an only child so there wasn’t anyone else there to help.”

“Ah, Shiro, I’m really sorry.” Hunk said sympathetically.

“I always maintained you’d make a good teacher!” Lance smiled, clapping him on the shoulder. “You have that good mixture of terrifying sternness and a friendliness that people wouldn’t want to disappoint you.” 

“Hah, I am glad to hear that.” Shiro smiled, but he was set now, thinking about the past, letting it all pour out of him. “It was really hard when Keith came to stay, obviously he didn’t come under the best of circumstances and he had such a rough time growing up. Until Hunk he’d never had really any friends.”

Lance and Hunk glanced at each other, they’d never heard Shiro divulge so much, maybe it was because now they were a team, they shared everything.

“I’m so grateful for you both, and Pidge too.” Shiro laughed. “I’ve never ever seen Keith warm to people the way he did to you guys, the way he’d look coming back from hanging out with you guys, even if it was just studying or having pizzas together, he looked a million times lighter.”

“Yeah,” Hunk smiled too, he’d noticed the change in Keith, and he was glad to have met Pidge and Lance too, he’d gotten exceptionally lucky when it came to his roommates.

“I’ll be forever grateful for that stinking awful look that Keith thought was flirting that he gave you when you first met.” Shiro chuckled, remembering that day with fondness. Lance was just baffled, flirting?

“What? No way? That wasn’t flirting?” Lance sniggered, Shiro and Hunk exchanged a look. 

“Uh yeah, he was crushing on you hard since the moment he saw you!” Hunk confirmed, Lance looked between them blinking.

“Why did you never tell me then?!” Lance whined.

“Hey, not my secret to tell!” Hunk leant back, with his hands up. 

“But anyway, honestly, I’m glad he met you Lance,” Shiro looked at Lance with seriousness in his tone. “Because, his stupid mistake meant that he was happy, he was normal for as long as he possibly could be. He did a stupid thing but you were like his comfort blanket, something safe and habitual to hold on to. I’ll be forever grateful for both your oblivious pining asses, honestly.”

Lance rolled his eyes, but couldn’t even deny it, the more he thought about it, the more stupid sense it made.

 

Exams came and went and before they knew it, they were getting ready to leave for their mission. Lance prayed with everything within him that by some miracle Keith would be on that ship. They’d done all sorts of training in preparation, Hunk had by some kind of divine intervention gotten over the worst of his hideous motion sickness. On the day before they were due to fly, just as they were about to be picked up by the car Lance noticed a message on his phone, from Keith, a happy picture of Keith smiling at the camera, looking devastatingly beautiful, with a simple message that read - 

I love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i could cry with pride.  
> Also! Thankyou so much for 100 kudos and for all your amazing comments! 
> 
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	16. Earth From a Million Miles Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hm, that’s interesting, Keith told me you were dating…” Alfor was still grinning, it was getting closer and closer to being looking at a mirror, the same shit-eating grin. Lance finally hazarded a look at Keith, who looked like he was about to burst into tears.
> 
> “That’s funny, ‘cause he never told me we were.” Lance folded his arms.

The day that they flew was the most terrified Lance had been in his entire life so far. He knew that he wouldn’t really being doing much as hopefully there wouldn’t be an appearance of enemy ships, it was the information that they were given not long before lift-off. Lance had imagined it to be a lot like when NASA sent astronauts into space, a huge rocket ship, blasting off in 5 4 3 2 1, except it wasn’t anything like that. Instead they drove 4 hours to a Garrison hangar and boarded a normal looking jet plane. There was a count-down but it wasn’t the kind that got broadcasted over a local news network and watched by millions of viewers. Shiro’s demeanour was casual as if he’d done this a million times before, the sound of Iverson’s voice over their headsets let them know that a wormhole would be ready for them in 30 ticks once they were out of earth’s atmosphere.

Iverson had very briefly gone over wormholes a couple of minutes before they boarded, explaining that they worked like the ones you saw in old sci fi shows, you go into it in one location and come out the other side in another. He didn’t go into detail about what kind of distance they’d travel in that time, just told Pidge that they’d give her co-ordinates once they were on the other side of the wormhole.

Shiro was chatting away calmly, Pidge was trying to contain her excitement and Hunk was trying to contain his stomach contents, he’d come so far but this was real. Lance was just staring out the window, clutching onto the handles of his console, absolutely petrified. Shiro’s talking was slowly bringing him around, Shiro had clearly done this before and knew exactly what he was doing, his prosthetic moving elegantly as he got ready to launch. Lance looked up and saw the roof of the hangar they were currently in started to open, the bright sunshine of the desert beating down on them, Lance could feel himself heating up in anticipation.

They watched in awe as Shiro began turning the engine on. Lance was so unprepared with what to expect he assumed they’d have to go on a runway to build up speed, but with an almighty noise and a jet-engine like propulsion they lifted off and into the sky, Lance physically couldn’t stop the scream that left him, Shiro laughed at Lance’s shock, Pidge was trying not to squeal and Hunk was trying to control his breathing to the point he almost made himself pass out. They kept on their ascension until they were within the clouds, they looked fluffy and soft from far away but they were dark and foggy once you where hurtling through them at over 2,000 kilometres per hour. Lance was surprised that they didn’t feel the pressure, he didn’t feel unwell, they didn’t start floating, nothing. Lance wondered if everything NASA did was just for show, Lance never fancied himself a conspiracy theorist before now.

They finally broke through earth’s atmosphere and Lance finally stopped screaming, he looked down and saw earth and nothing prepared him from that, he couldn’t see earth fully as they were only just outside, but he could see the blue of the ocean with flecks of the white clouds across it like paint. It was beautiful, no photo ever taken from a million miles away could ever do it justice. He didn’t have long to appreciate it before Hunk was screaming at something in front of them, Lance turned his head and spotted something huge and circular and cloudy and they were flying straight into it, Shiro had a smirk on his face and Lance was trying so hard not to scream again, he was trying even harder to be cool, the way that Shiro was, just taking it completely in his stride.

As they flew closer and closer to what Lance assumed was their wormhole he thought that from this point onwards, he’d never be the same again. He’d never be able to see the world in the same way, and that was the most amazing thing of all, that in his life time, he’d get to see something like this. They flew into the wormhole and emerged in another section of space, that was the thing about space, it all pretty much looked the same. Pidge heard the co-ordinates come into her head piece and she set about entering them and setting a course. Shiro confirmed and they headed towards the ship they’d be delivering cargo on, Lance was too busy gazing all around him at his dream come true to even notice them gaining on the ship at such a speed that they were there within five minutes. Next thing he knew he heard Shiro talking to the security officer on-board asking for clearance, and Lance was just in awe, the ship they were about to board was still and absolutely colossal, once clearance was granted Shiro gracefully flew the ship into the landing bay on board, the doors slowly opened and as they landed slowly shut. Lance wasn’t sure if he was dreaming, because right now he was on a gigantic ship in space. It didn’t seem real. This was his endgame, his goal and he couldn’t actually believe he was here.

“Lance?” Shiro’s voice broke him out of his mesmerised thoughts, Shiro was stood and the craft was parked in the hangar, Lance quickly unbuckled himself trying to pretend that he wasn’t shaking like a leaf. The door of their ship opened slowly as jets of air dispelled the pressure. Lance literally thought he was in Star Wars, it was all high ceilings and long hallways, he half expected a squadron of storm troopers to come out of the huge dark door at the end of the room.

“Shiro!” Lance heard a familiar voice come from behind the group, they turned and Coran was waving happily, Shiro turned and smiled at the man. “Glad to see that you made it here safely!”

“Very smooth flight, just like I remember.” Shiro laughed happily, as if he were back in his element.

“How was everyone else?” Coran glanced around at the team, Pidge and Hunk had already began unloading the cargo on board.

“I am awake aren’t I?” Lance asked genuinely, because if he was here, he wasn’t entirely sure he was conscious. Coran just laughed, reached out and pinched Lance on the shoulder. “Ouch.”

“You’re awake!” Coran laughed, Keith was right, he was quite goofy. Lance suddenly shocked himself, he hadn’t even thought about the possibility that Keith might be here, suddenly his stomach started flipping excitedly at the prospect.

“Hey, what do you think the chances are that Keith’s on board?” Lance asked Pidge and Hunk, Pidge scoffed loudly.

“Not a chance in hell, there is no way that you are that lucky.” Pidge laughed a little heartlessly, Lance supposed she was right.

He had no real experience with the Galaxy Garrison but guessed that there was hundreds if not thousands of garrison ships and Pidge was right, Lance really was not that lucky. Lance helped Hunk and Pidge continue to unload the cargo off of their ship, trying not to concentrate on the disappointment in his bones. They carried the cargo to a bay door off to the left, officers from the garrison picked them up from there and continued with them down corridors that they had no hope of seeing today. They finished unloading and returned to Shiro and Coran who were still chatting away, catching up, they had only met once but talked like old friends.

“Now that you’re all done unloading the cargo, we can begin the tour! Follow me cadets!” Coran threw a hand into the air and span, walking towards the large doors at the end of the room, Pidge was glancing around gushing at all the tech she longed to interfere with. Hunk was just happy to be standing on a surface that didn’t move.

The huge doors opened into a smaller but just as grey corridor, they continued down it, Coran talking all the way, Lance had stopped paying attention almost immediately. The corridor had several corridors leading off of them, six in total, Lance glanced down each of them trying to see more of the ship, at the last corridor he thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye, when he turned to look his heart stopped, Keith was right there, not 10 foot away from him, smiling, laughing his hair cropped newly short, wearing his uniform, looking like he could actually kill Lance with a heart attack just by turning and looking at him, which he didn’t. It seemed that he was too wrapped up in his conversation with Rolo, who was stood right beside him, a cocky grin on his face, Lance gulped and started to say something-

“Lance! Come on, we have a lot to cover and not a lot of time to cover it in.” Coran yelped, no one else seemed to have noticed Keith’s presence, Lance glanced back and they were gone. Was he just imagining stuff? Was this actually just one ridiculous dream? Lance re-joined the group and they continued on their way, Coran pointing out rooms and giving vague and secretive descriptions for each. Lance heard the words rec room and sucked in a deep breath, deciding on a whim to slowly slink away from the group and quickly down a darkened corridor, following the vague direction which Coran had pointed with a gloved finger. The hallway was dark, he walked close to the wall so that he could use it for cover should he need to.

He walked for what felt like minutes until he heart footsteps, weirdly familiar footsteps. He hid around the corner until he saw a figure walking past, he already recognized the back of that head, Lance was deciding whether or not he wanted to surprise him, so he snuck out and quietly tried to match his pace.

“Hey-“

Lance began to talk but before he knew it, Keith had spun around with a cold kind of anger in his eyes, he grabbed Lance’s arm and twisted it around until Lance was in an arm lock, a severely painful, aggressive arm lock, maybe surprising him was an exceptionally bad idea, Lance knew now he definitely wasn't dreaming.

“K-Keith!” Lance puffed out, all the air escaping from his lungs in pain, Keith’s face fell into a terrified shock and he dropped Lance out of the arm lock quickly.

“What! Are you doing here?!” Keith exclaimed, his cheeks pink and eyes wide, Lance was not expecting a reaction like that. Especially after being viciously attacked.

“I… uh thought you’d be happier to see me…” Lance was a little hurt, Keith was glancing around suspiciously, as if looking for anyone that might walk past and see.

“Are you here dropping cargo?” Keith asked suddenly. Lance nodded slowly. “You can’t be here. If you’re discovered then both of us will be in a lot of trouble.”

Lance was just more surprised at the purely cold look in Keith’s eyes, he looked as though he barely even recognized him.

“I’m serious, you have to get back to the group,” Keith was insistent panic in his eyes. “If they see that you’re apart from the group you will get thrown out of college, if not worse. The cameras have probably already seen you, so you have to go.”

“B-but…”

“I’m serious, you have to go. Just tell Coran you got lost trying to find the bathroom or something.”

Keith grabbed Lance by the shoulders and spun him around. Lance didn’t look back as he walked off.

 

Keith was screaming internally. Lance was actually, physically here. They were mere centimetres away from each other. If the circumstances were different then Keith would have taken him in his arms no questions asked, but as it was, if someone was wandering the halls unauthorised, it meant trouble. Keith was beating himself up over it, the hurt look on Lance’s face as Keith told him to leave.

Keith would have never wanted to talk to him the way that he did, but Lance didn’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation he’d found himself in. Keith looked up at the camera in the corner and cursed, desperately wishing for some cosmic interference of the Pidge variety right now, but he assumed that she must be here as well. He desperately wanted to see all of them, but he knew he couldn’t. With a heavy heart he continued his walk towards his barracks, desperately hoping that by some sort of miracle Lance didn’t hate him now.

 

As Lance heartbrokenly made his way back to the group, he could hear the muffled sounds of talking off in the distance, he couldn’t tell if it was people talking or something in his head, the only word he could pick out from the muffled chatter was the word Voltron, his heart stopped at that. He stood still for a couple of seconds hoping that he would hear more, but the chatters stopped and he quickly picked up his pace to catch up with the group. He spotted them, with a huge sigh of relief that they weren’t much further than where they were when he ran off.

“Lance?!” Pidge whisper-yelled as he re-joined the group, Lance looked at Coran who was stood with his back to him, hands clasped behind his back.

“S-sorry, I got lost trying to find the bathroom.” Lance tried desperately to sound convincing. Pidge raised an eyebrow but thought it was probably for the best that she didn’t ask any further.

“You’re lucky ‘cause Coran didn’t notice you were gone.” Pidge shook her head, her eyes shut. Coran was talking about the medical bay, one of the many places of which he was a specialist in.

They continued slowly through the rest of the tour until they reached the end of a particularly long corridor, Coran turned around to face them, his face serious.

“This is the General's station, here you will be introduced to General Alfor,” Lance and Hunk looked at each other, both of them had expressed how beautiful they found Alfor, much to Allura’s chagrin. “Hopefully he’ll be your future boss if everything goes well with the rest of your college course.”

Pidge beamed happily, they approached the door and it slowly opened, Alfor was sat in his chair, apparently anticipating their arrival. He had the same effect on people as Allura did, they just got very quiet and just kind of respected the space that Allura existed in.

Alfor stood up slowly, he had the same piercing eyes that Allura had, the hair that had been tied up in the garrison recruit pictures was now shorter and dusted his shoulders gently, the beard that Lance had seen in the photo that Keith sent was trimmed and neat. Lance was searching his chin for the scar that Keith had compared to his, but couldn’t see it under the thick white hairs smattered across his chin. He was heart-stoppingly beautiful, they were all struck dumb, even Shiro, who was practically living with his daughter was speechless. He had this kind of commanding energy that made the cadets wanted to kneel before him as though he were a king.

“Cadets.” He spoke, his voice just as powerful as they imagined it to be. Alfor did not disappoint in any way, shape or form. “It’s good to see that you arrived so efficiently and without incident.”

Shiro actually bowed, feeling some sort of debt of honour, this was his Allura's father of course, he wanted to make a good impression.

“Shiro, it’s good to finally meet you.” Alfor approached slowly, languidly around the table, offering him a strong hand, Shiro took it and nodded in kind.

“And I you.” Shiro beamed. “I’ve heard so many amazing things from not only Allura, but all my previous colleagues also.”

“And Allura has told me a lot about you too.” Alfor said, finally taking in the fact that he was shaking Shiro’s right hand, which happened to be his prosthetic, he shut his eyes in recognition but didn’t say anything. Alfor’s eyes finally fell on the three cadets, who all nearly buckled nervously under the weight of his stare.

“This is Lance, Hunk and Pidge, the universities best.” Coran introduced, pointing at the three of them as he spoke, Alfor nodded and regarded each of them with a quiet gaze.

“Lance, I’ve heard a lot about you in particular.” Alfor smiled, almost goofily, Lance fixed him with a quizzical stare. “Keith has told me how much he admires you.”

“K-Keith told you about me?” Lance stuttered, his cheeks turning pink. Alfor nodded slowly, as if incredulous that Lance would doubt the fact.

“Of course, you seem to be the only thing that he talks about,” Alfor smiled, Lance flushed and gulped. He didn’t want to doubt Alfor, because why on earth… or on this space station for that matter, would he have a reason to lie to Lance. But the way that Keith spoke to him, the lack of emotion and coldness in his eyes just seemed to betray that statement completely. Lance just smiled, pretending to be pleased by what Alfor was saying.

 

Keith slowly moped to the barracks, his heart hurting. He should have been so excited to see Lance, hell he was excited to see him, but he couldn’t get another person kicked out of university. Rolo was sat on the end of his bed, reading a book, he glanced up when he heard Keith enter.

“Yo, what’s with the face, buddy?” Rolo’s easy-going smile suddenly dropped when he saw Keith’s miserable demeanour.

“I’m fine… just tired. Feels like it’s been a long day.” Keith sighed, well aware that it was barely lunchtime, but he could hardly tell Rolo the truth, he was kind of hoping that he could just forget it happened, maybe Lance was a figment of his lonely, heartbroken imagination. Like he was picturing the thing he wanted to see the most, space did that to you sometimes. He’d slowly started to make himself feel better about it till Rolo spoke again.

“Hey, I think I saw Hunk earlier, y’know.” Rolo said, talking lowly, almost conspiratorially. “I wonder if he’s part of the cargo crew, there was supposed to be a drop today.”

“Oh… really? I uh… didn’t notice.” Keith spluttered, trying to feign ignorance. “G-good for him…”

“Keith, you know what that could mean? Don’t you?” Rolo had an eyebrow raised, looking at Keith like he was stupid. Keith just blinked.

“That guy you always talk about?” Rolo rolled his eyes, frustrated. “Lance? Was it? Haven’t you considered that he might be on the team with him?”

Keith just blinked again and Rolo was about to lose his patience.

“I take it because they’re from the university, they’ll be on a tour of the facility right now?” Rolo was really giving him everything he could right now. “Which means you’ll be able to go and see him?!”

“But, won’t we get in trouble if we go and interrupt the tour?” Keith sputtered, not quite understanding Rolo’s apparent casual attitude.

“Why would we get in trouble?” Rolo was really confused as to where all of Keith’s smarts had disappeared to suddenly. “We’re not on patrol anymore, are we? And if anything we’d be helping them out, giving them a chance to talk to real, actual garrison trainee pilots?”

Keith hadn’t really considered that, he pondered for a second, would Lance even want to talk to him now? Keith relented and gestured Rolo to get up.

“C’mon then, you’ve twisted my arm.” Keith nudged him gently, his face falling as he realized his own pun. Not only had Keith been so rude, he'd also nearly snapped Lance's arm out of its socket.

“Took you long enough jeez.” Rolo sighed, standing up, they made their way out of the barracks and towards the General's office, they figured that was usually the end of the tour, so they’d most likely be heading there or away from there. “I thought you’d be head over heels trying to go see this Lance guy you talk about constantly.”

Keith couldn’t come up with a response, and luckily he didn’t need to as the door opened and six people emerged, Keith saw Alfor first who regarded them both with a kind smile, then Coran who nodded friendlily, then before he knew it, Hunk had him up in the air in an embrace that was close to crushing his ribs, it took the wind out of him completely, once Hunk had put him down he received almost the same treatment from Pidge immediately afterwards.

“Keith! It’s so good to see you! Look at that sick scar! Did it hurt?!” Pidge exclaimed happily, poking the scar on his chin with her finger. “Lance was saying earlier what were the chances you’d be on this ship and I said he’d never be that lucky! Guess my calculations were wrong, huh?!”

At that Keith finally looked up and saw Lance, his arms folded, not looking in any particular direction, no one seemed to notice the apparent indifference that Lance was currently exhibiting. As they continued chatting away amicably, gushing to Keith about the ride over and how quick it was and how beautiful the earth was from far away. Keith was just nodding along and smiling, his eyes flicking up to Lance every now and again, hoping against all hope that Lance would suddenly be grinning and happy like Keith wanted him to be.

“Hey, Hunk, it’s good to see you buddy! It’s been a long time!” Rolo suddenly made his appearance known, Hunk turned to him, trying and failing to hide his distaste.

“Hey, Rolo.” Hunk responded, shaking his proffered hand. “This is Pidge, and Lance.”

Rolo looked up at Lance when he heard his name, Lance was staring straight up at Rolo, something untrusting and angry in his eyes, Rolo smirked, subconsciously baring his teeth.

“Hey, Lance…” Rolo slowly sauntered up to him, trying to intimidate him, he didn’t really know why he just kind of didn’t like the grumpy look on his face. “I feel like I know you already…”

 

Lance splintered at that, what the hell did he mean by that? Why did he say it like that? What was he trying to get at? Lance grit his teeth, desperate to behave like he didn’t care, just like Keith. Pidge and Hunk were both staring Lance down, wondering why on earth they weren’t saying hello? Had something happened that Lance hadn’t told them about? The awkward silence hung in the air for a little while, Alfor could sense something wasn’t quite right and Coran was in the corner being his oblivious, goofy self.

“Shall we all get lunch together?” Coran suddenly spoke up, like he was trying to break the silence, Lance gathered that Coran didn’t like long silences. “You guys can catch up properly then!”

Hunk was super psyched about food, fist pumping and following Coran closely. Keith and Rolo wandered past, Lance wouldn’t look at him, Pidge walked past with a confused look and Alfor stood waiting for Lance.

“Are you coming, Lance?” Alfor spoke, Lance shook himself out of his thoughts and nodded, falling into step next to Alfor, he was an extremely terrifying but comforting presence, Lance wondered what kind of magic he’d used to exude both at the same time. It seemed like the perfect combination for a leader, a similar energy to Shiro.

  
“Allura has told me a lot about you too,” Alfor continued, his smile inviting Lance to do the same. “She counts you as one of her dearest friends. I think she’s grateful to have someone that is in a similar situation as her.”

“I guess I can’t really compare our situations, you’re her father.” Lance said humbly, shaking his head. Alfor chuckled.

“Missing someone is the same no matter what kind of relation they might be,” Alfor smiled, Lance found that reassuring. “But I thank you for being a good friend to my daughter, it devastates me to this very day that I don’t get to see her as much as I would like to.”

“I think you can be forgiven, you have a universe to defend.” Lance laughed, trying his own brand of comforting on Alfor, it seemed to work because he beamed.

They finally caught up with the rest of the group, who were chatting, all sat together, there was a free seat next to Keith and a free seat next to Pidge opposite. Lance was still bitter so he decided to sit next to Pidge, who once again, shot him a confused look. Alfor took a seat beside Keith, looking around jovially, seeming to enjoy all this.

“I don’t get to spend much time in places like this anymore.” Alfor chuckled, his laughter deep, almost sending a vibration through the table. “It’s a shame, but at least I get to enjoy it now.” Lance smiled, he really liked Alfor. He was so similar to Allura in that way, it was exactly like Matt had said, they just seem so nice and caring.

Pidge elbowed Lance in the side, trying to get his attention. “What the fuck is happening with you and Keith?!”

Lance groaned, Pidge had elbowed him aggressively. “I snuck off to go and see him, and when I found him he went fucking ballistic and basically told me to fuck off, not in those exact words but it felt the fucking same.” He whispered.

“Lance, come on, he probably genuinely thought you were going to get into trouble.” Pidge gritted her teeth at Lance’s ignorance.

“Does romance count for nothing nowadays?!” Lance whispered in a dramatic tone. Pidge rolled her eyes, Keith and Hunk were chatting happily, catching up. Rolo seemed to be third-wheeling a bit, making interjections wherever possible, Keith’s body language was fully turned away from Rolo, which made Lance feel a little better.

They tucked into their food, it was surprisingly good for space food. The entire car ride over, Hunk had been wondering if it would be all goo and nothing else, Pidge kept telling him he’d watched too many sci fi movies. Shiro and Coran were chatting away, they got on exceptionally well. Alfor suddenly piped up, getting everyone’s attention, he had an evil-looking glint in his eyes as he locked on to Lance.

“So Lance!” Alfor all but yelled, Keith glanced up, looking at Lance who already felt like he was being interrogated. “Must be tough dating someone in the garrison, tough to keep up a relationship like that long distance.” Alfor’s tone had changed, he had a cheeky looking grin on his face.

If Lance didn’t know any better, he’d compare that smile to the same he wore when he was trying to mess with someone. He wasn’t really sure how to answer that question… technically Lance and Keith weren’t even dating, Lance had just promised he’d ‘wait for him’. God Lance was so good at romance.

“I mean… uh, I guess we’re not dating? So… I don’t know…” Lance stammered, he couldn’t tell because he wasn’t actually looking at Keith, but he looked like he’d shrunk to half the size, Lance cursed himself for saying it, but it was technically true, feelings be damned, Keith didn’t think about Lance’s earlier.

“Hm, that’s interesting, Keith told me you were dating…” Alfor was still grinning, it was getting closer and closer to being looking at a mirror, the same shit-eating grin. Lance finally hazarded a look at Keith, who looked like he was about to burst into tears.

“That’s funny, ‘cause he never told me we were.” Lance folded his arms, everyone at the table except for Coran and Alfor, who was LOVING it, was looking extremely uncomfortable. Alfor looked up and exchanged a look with Coran, who was just as incredulous.

“I’ve just had an idea…” Alfor put a finger to his chin, as if he were pondering something. “You’ve taken a long trip to be here… and you’re such a talented team that maybe you deserve something of a treat.”

Shiro, Hunk, Pidge and Lance each looked between each other, totally unsure of where the General was going with this.

“How about you guys stay the night? See what it’s really like to sleep on a space station.”

Pidge all but died, her eyes lighting up with excitement, she glanced around at Shiro who just looked a little bewildered Lance rolled his eyes and Hunk was pretty excited too, probably to see what breakfast would be like in the morning.

Lance could see what Alfor was trying to do, he was going to conveniently find a way for Keith and Lance to be alone together, which to be fair, wasn’t a bad idea. They’d not had a chance to properly talk and they’d thoroughly hurt each other’s feeling so far. Might as well get the worst part over with.

“It’s settled then, I’ll get onto HQ and get some special permission set up for today.” Alfor chuckled at their silences, he could see how excited Pidge was by the hands that flew to her chest in an excited clutch.

Lance wanted to be excited, but everything was so incredible thus far, and then the part he was hoping for the most, ended up being a gigantic disappointment that staying here any longer just made him anticipate a bitter after-taste. He was pretty heartbroken to tell the truth, he knew it was probably just because they hadn’t spoken properly, so tensions were high, but the completely unsympathetic way Keith spoke to him when he first saw him just cut really deep.

“So, Keith, Rolo, since you’re done for patrols for the day, you should see about giving the cadets a more in-depth tour of the facility.” Alfor continued, his smile becoming a little less cheeky. “Since hopefully they’ll be joining us here in the future.”

Keith and Rolo nodded and saluted in unison and stood, the other’s followed suit and trailed behind the two of them as they led them out of the canteen.

 

“We’ll take you to the barracks first, you can see where it is you’ll be spending the night.” Rolo spoke, Keith daren’t look behind him, lest he make more awful eye contact with Lance, his chest hurt enough for one day. As they walked Rolo nudged him and motioned his head backwards towards Lance.

“What’s going on bro? Trouble in paradise?” Rolo asked Keith shrugged, he didn’t even really know. He’d hoped that Lance would understand.

“It’s okay, I got you.” Rolo shrugged, the tiniest inkling of a wink. Keith always dreaded that, it usually meant that Rolo was coming up with an awful plan.

As they entered the room that Rolo and Keith slept in, Keith could see Lance looking around, a little disinterested.

“So, this is OUR bedroom.” Rolo gestured to the room, Keith just shot him daggers for daring to emphasise that word in particular. Lance reacted and shot the same look in Rolo’s direction.

“It’s also the room that Keith talks absolutely non-STOP about you, Lance.” Rolo smirked, trying not to laugh, he was desperately trying to break the ice, because the tension was PALBABLE. Lance glared at him, unashamedly.

“Rolo.” Keith spoke warningly, noticing how little Lance wanted to hear anything like that right now. Which broke his fucking heart to realise, in front of all these people no less.

“Hey, you should take Lance to the training deck, see if Lance can beat the record on the shooting sim.” Rolo suggested suddenly, his eyes lighting up like it was the best idea in the goddamn world. “I’ll take these guys to the holodeck, show them some alien worlds.”

Before either or them could protest, Hunk, Pidge and Shiro all bid them farewell quickly and rushed out after Rolo. Lance and Keith stood there a little pathetically, not really knowing what to say, it was killing them both at the same time.

“Okay, I guess I’m taking you to the training deck.” Keith muttered, turning around. They had come so far in their relationship, why had it gone back to the way it used to be. Dancing around each other and not knowing how to be other than defensive.

“Sorry you’re stuck with me,” Lance muttered, they started walking, when they heard Coran calling them from behind.

“Lance! Sorry, I gather you guys are off to the training deck?” Coran huffed as they caught up. “I wanted to give you your badge before you went anywhere, this will give you temporary clearance to most places, except for the places even Keith doesn’t have security clearance to.” He handed him the little piece of laminated paper. Lance’s stomach dropped when he saw the name on it.

Lance Kogane.

“Uh, yeah, about that…” Coran laughed, noticing Lance’s face falling, Keith glanced over and his face did exactly the same thing. “Because you’re not actually related to anyone on board, we’ve had to make you and Keith temporarily married. Alfor’s idea, not mine, so don’t give me that look.”

“W-What about Hunk?” Lance sputtered, his cheeks burning as he stared down at the i.d badge, when had they snapped the photo on this?! Alfor’s meddling had made an awkward situation even worse.

“Oh, don’t you worry, Hunk is now Hunk Holt, and is thoroughly enjoying torturing Pidge about it.” Coran laughed. “Anyway, I must be off! And congrats by the way, you make a beautiful couple!”

Lance groaned and half reluctantly and half pride-fully clipped the little nametag to himself, he looked at Keith, humiliated and joyful at the same time. Keith was staring, as if amazed he put it on in the first place.

“Hah, married before we’re even dating.” Keith laughed a little bitterly. “Come along then Mr. Kogane.”

“Right behind you, hubby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've planned the rest of the entire story out, so i cannot wait to get it all out for you guys!  
> thank you for the support! don't forget to follow me and harrass me on tumblr  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	17. Naming the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took Lance by surprise when he felt like he’d fallen in love all over again, and Keith was right here, the thing he’d dreamt of, the thing he’d been desperate for was right here and he was wasn’t doing anything about it.

Keith had heard a lot of loud noises in his time at the Galaxy Garrison, the sound of the engines, cooling fans, explosions and gun fire, but this silence was deafening. Keith was walking a couple of paces ahead of Lance, not daring to look back at him, not entirely sure where they could go from here, there was so much tension in the air. Keith just wanted to turn around and hold him, kiss him, even just talk to him, but he was a coward.

He was freaking out, why had Lance told Alfor that they weren’t dating, he knew they’d never really technically asked each other out, but Keith was under the impression that it went without saying. Now he was in the same position again, worrying that Lance had never felt that way, that all this time apart didn’t make his heart grow fonder. This time apart just gave Lance a chance and a reason to move on and get over Keith, which killed him, because he’d never get over Lance.

He thought about all the photo’s that he’d sent, assuming that Lance was receiving them and enjoying them, Lance could have been deleting them, ignoring them, making fun of him for them behind his back. Or maybe they weren’t getting sent at all. Keith was hurting, and so badly trying not to show it.

He had dreamt about the next time he would see Lance, about all the many things that could potentially happen, the rejection, the being unable to keep their hands off each other. Keith knew he’d prefer the latter right now. But somehow this uncertainty was even worse.

They walked in deadly silence, their footsteps falling into time. Keith’s fists were clenched, they rounded the corridor and Keith stopped suddenly outside the entrance to the training deck, it took everything within him to turn around and face Lance, who’s eyes immediately fell on the bottom left hand-side of his face, his scar. Keith’s heart stopped, Lance was looking intently at it, he didn’t look disgusted, but then he didn’t look happy about it. Was it the scar? Was Keith ugly now in Lance’s eyes because of his battle wound, Keith would never, ever feel ashamed of that scar, but under Lance’s scrutiny he just wanted to hide it. His hand subconsciously came to his face, as if trying to cover it. Lance noticed and tore his eyes away, trying to be casual, pouting with his hands in his pockets.

“Where’d you get it?” Lance suddenly ask after a couple of seconds of silence. It took Keith a while to understand what it was that Lance had actually asked, Keith almost smirked when he knew what his response would be, he needed a way to break the ice and this seemed like the best way.

“Get what?” Keith asked, trying to be oblivious, Lance just raised his eyebrows, a little un-impressed.

“That scar.” Lance said, his voice not giving anything away, he was emotionless. Keith sucked in a breath, looking at Lance with raised eyebrows also.

“You don’t want to ask me that.” Keith shrugged his shoulders, folding his arms. His statement was almost a challenge, he was just glad that Lance was talking.

“I think I just did, so, how did you get it?”

“You don’t want to know, Mr Kogane.”

“Don’t call me that, tell me where you got it from.”

“You’re gonna hate me if I tell you.”

Lance had a strange look in his eyes, did Keith see worry? Was Lance actually worried about this? Keith was now smirking.

“What?!” Lance’s voice broke a little, which made Keith’s heart soar, Lance did care even if he wasn’t showing it. Keith’s smirk broke into an evil grin to which Lance just gulped.

“It’s classified.”

 

Lance felt murderous, but he actually couldn’t stop himself from laughing at Keith, who’s cheeky smile was melting his heart, Lance had never noticed the sharpness of Keith’s canines before.

“Okay, fuck you.” Lance laughed, it felt like a layer of the tension had been lifted, something of an ice-breaker. Keith let himself laugh, and Lance realised how much he’d missed that laugh. He finally looked at Keith in the eyes, something he’d not really had a chance to do properly since they got here, his eyes looked desperately sad, but he had a tentative smile on his face, like he’d missed Lance’s laugh as well.

“Anyway, what are you showing me here?” Lance changing the subject, trying to ignore the existing, thick tension in the air, he knew that Keith wanted to talk but Lance didn’t think he could face that without crying. He turned and faced the door, Keith did the same, he pressed his hand to the scanner on the wall and the door slid open.

“This, is the training deck.” Keith said, Lance huffed.

“I gathered…” Lance was dripping sarcasm. “I mean why did you bring me here?”

“Well, we wanted to see how you would cope with something more than a university simulator.”

Lance shot him a look, Lance’s pride was coming back in full force, he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing.

“It’s similar to the university simulator,” Keith continued, apparently ignoring Lance’s cockiness, Keith knew that it wasn’t really him. “The flying is more realistic and the enemies are more aggressive.”

Lance almost scoffed at Keith, but saw the look in his eyes and took in a big breath, what was he doing? Why was he making a bad situation worse.

“Ah, okay, I’m… a little nervous to be honest.” Lance was nervous sure, but he wasn’t so sure that it was the prospect of the training deck that was making him so. But that seemed like the right thing to say as Keith smiled brightly. “You’ll be my pilot?”

“Of course! The sim will take care of the rest using A.I.” Keith smiled warmly, Lance’s heart leapt at that, maybe they were getting somewhere.

They walked inside the door and into the training deck, it was a vast, white, shiny empty room, Lance wasn’t sure what he was expecting, Keith was smirking.

“Start training sequence b.980 set to difficulty level ten.” Keith spoke loudly, Lance just looked at him like he was insane, was he supposed to respond to that? Suddenly the ground under Lance’s feet began to rumble and move, he leapt away from the spot but the rumbling and moving continued, he looked at Keith who was watching him with an amused smile on his face, standing with his hand on his hip, looking insanely cool and Lance was cowering pathetically.

The room had terraformed into a desolate landscape, the sun was beating down on them from above, and the sky was a dusky purple colour, it didn’t look like anywhere he’d ever been before. It was suddenly hot underneath the bright sunshine overhead. Keith folded his arms, watching Lance flail and freak out. Had they been teleported to another planet?! The air felt different, the ground felt rocky and solid beneath his feet.

“Welcome to Arus.” Keith gestured around him, “This is one of the planets being laid to waste by an evil alien race determined to take over the entire universe.”

Lance didn’t realise Keith was such a dramatic story-teller. He had all the flourish of a drama teacher, Lance was trying not to blush. He was invested.

“You and I, and our robotic teammates of course, are the only people in the universe that can save this planet from total decimation!” Keith gesticulated wildly, his energy contagious, Lance could feel adrenaline beginning to course through his veins. “Look over there-“ Lance followed Keith’s finger tip and saw a little village full of tiny Arusians (Arumites? Arusians.) waving and crying in fear. “The town inhabited by the Arusians is in serious danger, and as defenders of the universe we must save them from extinction.”

Lance didn’t even know how to describe the tiny villagers, but he found he didn’t need to as Keith was dragging him backwards. Lance spun and finally saw what they were racing to, a huge ship, triple the size of the one they had boarded to come to the station, Keith slammed his hand against the sensor by the door, not giving up the dramatics, he and Lance ran inside and towards the bridge of the ship.

The bridge was probably as big as the ship that they’d arrived on, it was huge and the glass walls must have been about 30 feet tall, Lance could see the entire landscape from where he stood, Keith was already in position and Lance was glancing around desperately trying to find where it was he needed to be.

“Lance, to your right!” Keith yelled out, not having to look behind him to see that Lance was flailing. Lance sat down and strapped in, but there was nothing in front of him, no console, nothing. Suddenly a glass panel ascended from a hole in the ground, it lit up in front of Lance and two seemingly holographic handles appeared as if being projected by the glass panel, Lance wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.

“Grab them!” Keith shouted, again not moving his head, he’d already got the engine running, the ship was starting to lift from the ground, Lance out of desperation as he watched enemy ships suddenly appear in the distance grabbed the handles.

He could immediately feel a familiar rush flow all the way to his finger-tips, Keith lifted off the ground and quickly flew to the enemy ships advancing, Lance could tell that Keith was happy to indulge him. Before he knew it, there were loud explosions all around them, which seemed to shake the entire ship, Keith was yelling something but Lance could barely hear him, in fact he could barely hear anything, he was in a weird state of quiet bliss, as if his body moved completely against his will, doing what he needed to survive. Keith was yelling something else, and Lance just felt like he was above it, he felt like he could see the ecstatic grin on Keith’s face and he wanted to cry at just how beautiful he looked in that moment.

Till suddenly, it was over and Lance was back in his seat. Keith slowly brought the ship back down onto the surface, his shoulders heaving as he breathed, but Lance just felt calm, his heartbeat steady. When the ship touched the surface and they stood up, the entire landscape completely disappeared, they were back on the training deck.

The adrenaline only hit Lance then and there, he raced over to Keith and grabbed his hands excitedly.

“We did it!” He gushed happily. “We are a good team!”

“Yeah, we are.” Keith smiled back. Lance nearly let his adrenaline push his lips against Keith’s lips, but he stopped himself, he wasn’t sure why, but he did. Keith’s mouth was twitching like he expected it, their eyes met and it was like a spark had gone off, electricity running between them, Lance pulled himself away, rubbing his neck awkwardly. It felt like it would be like the first time again if they were to kiss, he felt under pressure all of a sudden.

Keith huffed out a breath and turned around, heading to the door of the training deck, gesturing casually for Lance to follow him.

“You did good,” Keith finally said as they walked. “But I have something better to show you.”

Lance watched Keith as he walked, Lance desperately wanted to say something, to apologise, but he was afraid of saying it wrong, all those thoughts left him when they finally came across a door, with a huge constellation of stars carved into it.

“The observation deck.” Keith said, placing his hand gently against the sensor, the doors slowly flew open and Lance honestly thought he’d died.

There was nothing but stars. Lance slowly let his feet take him to the edge of the precipice, there was thick glass all around them protecting them from the deadly pressure of space, but it felt like he were finally amongst the stars. They twinkled and danced in front of him, he realized looking around at them that he didn’t recognize a single one. He pressed his hand against the glass, Lance could tell immediately that they were not in the same galaxy as earth.

Lance felt Keith’s footsteps fall next to his and Lance finally turned to look at him, and Keith was just breathtaking bathed in starlight, his eyes glittering like the constellations themselves, a soft smile on his lips. Lance felt like he was seeing Keith for the first time… again. But, Keith was so different here and now, so much had happened that Lance didn’t know about and Keith couldn’t tell him, there was so much distance between them as it was and Lance felt all of his stupid stubbornness just go.

He hadn’t seen the things that Keith had seen, he hadn’t done or been through the things that Keith had, and yet Keith still had that softness, that child-like excitement that was evident when Lance could see the awe in his smile at something he’d probably seen a thousand times.

It took Lance by surprise when he felt like he’d fallen in love all over again, and Keith was right here, the thing he’d dreamt of, the thing he’d been desperate for was right here and he was wasn’t doing anything about it.

In that moment there was so much that Lance wanted to ask or say, but it all felt like too much, so instead, he reached for Keith’s hand and felt his heart soar as Keith reciprocated, lacing their fingers together, Keith turned his head to Lance and Lance finally let his left over adrenaline do the work, their lips touched and within seconds Keith had his arms wrapped around Lance’s neck, pulling him in deeper, it was like they were trying to get all their words out through this physical contact.

 

Keith could have screamed, he was holding Lance so tight he was afraid of letting go, or even that he just wouldn’t let go. It felt so good, the relief washing over him, Lance didn’t hate him, he didn’t think that he was unattractive now, of course it would take the beautiful blue glow of the stars to drag them together again. Keith was so wrapped up in the feeling of Lance’s lips that he forgot why they came here in the first place. And Keith imagined that they probably wouldn’t be alone for much longer, Rolo would probably come and make sure that they hadn’t killed each other. Keith pulled away and left Lance looking bereft.

“I wanted to show you something, didn’t I?” Keith laughed at Lance’s sad expression, Lance pulled back but grabbed a hold of Keith’s hand again. “Lance, you have to promise me that you will never tell a single soul about any of this, not Allura, not your mom, nobody okay?”

“Damn, this whole secrecy thing is drilled into you hard, huh?” Lance scoffed.

“With good reason, Lance.” Keith rolled his eyes, ignoring the double entendre, “I can’t go into it for security reasons, obviously, but it’s so important.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m not gonna say anything.” Lance squeezed his hand as if trying to be reassuring. Keith smiled and started gesturing to the stars.

“We don’t know much about these stars, except for the names given to a select few that we’ve discovered upon visiting planets, but that over there is Altea, that star represents the story of a beautiful princess, who’s world was torn apart by evil forces, her father and mother both killed in the fight for her to survive, when she awoke there was nothing, which is why as you can see she is a lone star.” Lance looked where Keith was gesturing, off in the distance was a bright, lonely-looking star. “Over there, is a star named after the planet Arus, that represents the birth of a legendary super power built to protect the universe-“

“Vol-“

“Don’t even say it.” Laughed Keith, shaking his head, for Lance that was neither a confirmation nor a denial. “You can see that there are 5 smaller stars all around it, those represent the separate parts of that super power.”

“Definitely Vol-“

“Stop, Lance!” Keith elbowed him jokingly. “The princess eventually came to lead that super power, you can see that if you stand at a certain angle, she sits at the top, Arus sits in the middle and those smaller stars sit around the edges in perfect symmetry.”

“V-“

“Don’t.” Keith shook his head, his cheeks aching from smiling, he hadn’t felt like this in a long time, it felt so normal and Keith was lapping that up.

“Anyway, the next is Balmera, over there, it was named for a gigantic planet-like beast that was responsible for powering that ancient super power, the lone princess was known to be the only entity in the universe capable of taming the beast and allowing her to use its powers for the good of the universe. If you look at a certain angle, they lay upon each other with Altea glowing brightly behind it.”

Lance arched his neck and discovered that Keith was right, Altea was glowing brightly all around, as though a halo around Balmera.

“That is Olkarion, named for the guardian that represents one fifth of that super power.”

“You can just say Voltron.” Lance finally managed to say the entire word.

“I can’t because we don’t know that it's actually Voltron.” Keith was trying not to laugh. “Anyway, Olkarion is known for the green glow that it exhibits on the yearly anniversary of-“ Cough “Voltron’s Birth.”

“And finally, there is the star called Taujeer.” Lance followed Keith’s gesture once more. “This star represents another fifth of… Voltron… as you like to call it. It’s known for it’s yellow glow that appears also on the yearly anniversary of the birth of… Voltron.”

“What about the rest?” Lance asked, there was so many stars left un-named, and his human desperation for knowledge was keening.

“We don’t know…” Keith trailed off. “But there, I can tell you about my favourite star, I named it myself. I spotted it one day glowing a blue kind of colour, it reminded me of the ocean on earth, and that reminded me of the colour of your eyes, and it reminded me that you were out there somewhere, far away but always there. So I decided to name it… Lanza.”  
Lance burst out laughing at this, which Keith expected as much, but was still very much embarrassed by.

  
“Spanish? For Lance? As in the weapon?!” Lance laughed breathlessly. “I love that you named it after me in your own crazy way.”

  
“Well, y’know, you lanced me in the heart when we first met.” Keith wanted to die just hearing himself say it. It only sent Lance into more unbelievable fits of giggles, all the while Keith was gazing at his favourite star, blinking beautifully against the night sky, he wondered that maybe that star had a little something to do with Voltron too, as on the same evening as Taujeer and Olkarion, it would glow a beautiful blue.

“It reminds me that no matter how big, or never-ending this universe may be you are my one constant.” Keith smiles, Lance stopped his laughing and wrapped his arms around Keith’s waist, nuzzling into his neck, trying to display in affection what he couldn’t put into words.

“There’s the happy newlyweds!” They heard Shiro’s voice from behind, everyone was grinning happily at their newfound affection, Rolo was smirking between them, happy to know that his plan had worked somewhat.

“At least one set of you is happy.” Muttered Pidge with her arms crossed, Hunk looked like the cat that got the cream, he’d obviously spent the last however long teasing her.

“I told you, we could always go to counselling! You can’t give up on this!” Hunk pleaded. “We could be happy again!”

Pidge just shook her head and walked past him, standing beside Lance and Keith admiring the stars, she pointed directly at Olkarion.

“That’s my favourite.” Pidge beamed, she’d been looking at the stars for all of five seconds but seemed determined in her decision.

“Why that one?” Keith had to know.

“I dunno, I just… like the feel of it.” Pidge smiled.

“Hey, no… I know we’re married but, I’m gonna have to disagree.” Hunk stood to stand next to them as well. “That one over there is clearly superior.”

Lance and Keith exchanged weird looks as Hunk pointed out Taujeer.

Shiro suddenly appeared the other side of Lance and Keith and jabbed his finger against the glass in the direction of Altea.

“That one, clearly.” He was strong in his decision. “Look at her, she’s all on her own.”

Lance suddenly noticed a star, it hung a lot lower than the rest of the stars and seemed to glow a strong white against the never-ending darkness of the sky.

“That one. I like that one.” Lance jabbed at the glass as well, they all looked down at it and smiled, Keith just laughed.

“That one glows red, on the same night.” He whispered to only Lance, it was like a strange little secret, a kind of conspiracy theory. Lance could feel something staring at that star, as if it were trying to tell him something.

“Anyway, enough star-gazing for one day!” Rolo broke up the team gushing over the stars. “It’s time for some zero-g action!”

“Woah, zero-g?!” Hunk exclaimed, Rolo nodded victoriously and folded his arms. “C’mon wifey! It’s time for us to do our first dance in zero-g!” Hunk grabbed a hold of Pidge excitedly as they followed Rolo out of the room.

“I’m glad you guys managed to sort everything out.” Shiro smiled down at them, they smiled too but hung back a few seconds, gazing at each other bathed in starlight for a couple of seconds longer.

They held hands the entire way, just as they arrived outside the zero-g chamber Coran was suddenly there, but there was a look on his face that sent shivers down their spines.

“Lance, you need to come with me.” Coran’s voice was stern, his eyes downcast. Lance’s entire body went cold.

“W-what do you mean?” Lance’s voice was weak, what had he done? Coran did not look pleased, he looked totally devastated in fact.

“Shiro, you should come too.” Coran looked up at Shiro, who simply nodded quietly. Lance looked between them, terrified.

“Where are you taking him?” Keith demanded, his entire demeanour had gone extremely serious.

“That doesn’t concern you, Keith.” Coran almost snapped, Keith looked taken aback, Coran had never spoken to him like that. “Lance, Shiro, follow me.”

Keith reluctantly let go of Lance’s hand as Shiro led him away. Lance and Shiro followed Coran silently through the corridors, all the way Lance’s mind was going a million miles a minute, what on earth was happening? He was terrified, had he done something so heinous he was about to be ejected into deep space? He looked up at Shiro for support, who only glared straight ahead, wearing his terrifying teacher face.

They approached Alfor’s office, the doors opened ahead of them, Lance’s stomach churned like he was about to meet his doom. Alfor was sat with a stony look on his face, a definite change from his jovial smiling earlier.

Without a word, Alfor turned the monitor on the table around to face them, and upon that screen displayed repeated footage of Lance sneaking through the corridors, unattended and un-authorized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh-oh  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	18. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Shiro, you trust Lance, do you not?” Alfor finally said, his eyes drifting to Shiro’s quietly rageful form.
> 
> “I do,” Shiro said without hesitating and Lance was grateful for this, he had been a little terrified that Shiro would throw him under the bus. “He’s impulsive but intelligent, I would never doubt him for a second, I’ve known him for a long time now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short and sweet, but i promise the next couple of chapters will be out very quickly after.  
> Thanks for sticking around for so long.

Lance physically didn’t know where to look, he didn’t want to stare at the screen because he’d just be watching himself make a stupid mistake over and over again, he couldn’t look at Alfor because the disappointment in his eyes made his heart hurt. He couldn’t look at Coran because he was staring at the floor, a sad look in his eyes, and he daren’t look at Shiro, because the raging anger was emanating off him, like a sickly heat. The silence in the room was even worse than the silence he’d had with Keith not an hour ago. He didn’t really know what to say, Alfor was watching him, gauging his reaction and Lance was really trying not to consciously give anything away. But he guessed Alfor was extremely good at reading people, just like Allura was, it was a gift of sorts.

“What, did you think you were doing?” Alfor finally spoke, his voice was deceivingly calm, he just watched Lance, it was like he wanted to see him panic and flounder.

“I was looking for the bathroom?” Lance wished he could have said that without the questioning tone, Alfor raised his eyebrows at this response.

“Is that right?” He responded, he glanced to Coran who’s eyes were still low. “Did you think to ask Coran if you could use the bathroom?”

“I, wanted to… but he was talking I didn’t-“ Lance gulped loudly. “I didn’t want to interrupt, he had a real flow going. I was worried he’d forget where he got to in his speech.”

Alfor was so close to scoffing at Lance’s poor excuse, Lance knew he probably shouldn’t lie to someone like Alfor, but… he was scared about what might happen if he told the truth.

“Lance, why did you think you could just wander off like that?” Shiro spoke lowly. “After all the forms and security checks, after being told a million times about confidentiality?”

Alfor pressed something on the keyboard, and the footage extended slightly, the camera changed and displayed Lance’s interaction with Keith, namely the aggressive armlock that Keith put him in when he snuck up on him. Lance didn’t even think about how Keith might get in trouble for something like this, he suddenly felt very stupid for being upset with Keith’s demeanour in that moment, he really was trying to protect him. If Lance felt bad before, he felt even worse now.

“Okay, I had seen Keith earlier in the tour,” Lance’s mouth was pouring words before he knew it. “And I was worried that I wouldn’t get a chance to see him, so I snuck off. It was stupid, and that is no excuse and I was totally out of order and I am sorry.” Lance was trying not to ramble, but it was difficult when the butterflies in his stomach were making him feel like vomiting.

Lance didn’t even realise it, but he was staring down at his name badge, his fingers playing with it nervously, he was gazing at the name, his heart racing. He’d just ruined his chances of that ever coming true, he knew how serious trespassing property back on earth was, let alone a super-secret space station. He was trying to rationalise his doom in his head, they’d probably send him off to some sort of prison space station, like a space Alcatraz. He’d fucked up so badly, and it was just such a stupid mistake, he’d ruined everything, he’d potentially got Keith in trouble and the sadness in Coran’s eyes spoke volumes.

“Lance, this is serious.” Shiro was close to yelling, his fists were clenched. “This isn’t college, you can’t just go wandering around wherever you want to.”

“How do we know that you aren’t a spy?” Coran commented, Lance looked at him with shock in his eye, him a spy?! Lance would no way have what it takes, what kind of spy gets caught. Lance decided not to say that particular sentence. “That you weren’t sneaking around trying to find government secrets, and that Keith happened to discover you and you feigned innocence.”

“O-of course I’m not! I wouldn’t! I couldn’t!” Lance cried, he could feel himself choking up. He had no evidence to prove that he in fact, was not a spy. All he could do was plead. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did it, it’s not an excuse but I was terrified that I might not see Keith.”

Alfor slowly shook his head, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair. Lance finally glanced at the screen, he watched as Keith repeatedly got him in an arm lock again and again, it looked as painful as it had felt.

“I’m glad at least, that Keith gave you a punishment you deserve.” Alfor gestured to the screen. Lance just stared at him, he didn’t know what else he could say, he was being as honest as he could. “Even if you aren’t a spy, how do we know that you’ve not heard something that you shouldn’t have.”

Lance’s heart stopped, he had heard chattering and the word ‘Voltron’ but he wasn’t entirely sure that wasn’t in his head. He wasn’t sure if it was worth the risk of them erasing his memory, as he was sure with all this futuristic technology that something like that could exist. He couldn’t hazard the fact that he might forget all the star gazing with Keith, all the things he’d seen and done in his short time here, he didn’t want to forget it.

“Did you?!” Coran suddenly spoke up, his voice shrill. “Did you hear something that you shouldn’t have?”

“No! I didn’t hear anything, I swear!” Lance exclaimed, he decided that he wasn’t going to take that risk. “I promise, Keith just told me to leave, to go back to the group.”

There was silence in the room once more, the only thing moving the picture on the screen, Shiro was breathing quietly, trying to contain himself. Coran was staring Lance down now, as if trying to read his mind to find out if he was lying. Alfor’s eyes were shut, he was obviously thinking about what to do, how long to send Lance away for, how to punish him properly.

“Shiro, you trust Lance, do you not?” Alfor finally said, his eyes drifting to Shiro’s quietly rageful form.

“I do,” Shiro said without hesitating and Lance was grateful for this, he had been a little terrified that Shiro would throw him under the bus. “He’s impulsive but intelligent, I would never doubt him for a second, I’ve known him for a long time now.”

Alfor thought for another moment, taking in what Shiro said, he obviously trusted Shiro’s judgement, he trusted that Allura would have chosen well, and it seemed she didn’t disappoint.

“Lance, I’ve chosen to believe you, in this circumstance.” Alfor said, Lance felt relief flood through him, his heart soaring. “Not least because Shiro trusts you so fully, but because you have given my daughter nothing but good company and someone to rely on. You’re a friend of the family now, as well as Kogane’s new husband-“ Lance tried not to laugh at this, remembering that it was Alfor’s idea. “But we also saw what you can do, you defeated all enemies in a training level that even I cannot complete fully. It would be an awful shame for us to lose a potential marksman like yourself to such a stupid, regrettable mistake.”

Lance felt like crying for a different reason now, he couldn’t physically believe it, had he passed out after the simulator and just dreamt everything else, Coran was nodding in agreement and Shiro’s shoulders softened and relaxed.

“W-what? Are you serious?” Lance’s voice was breathy, he was half expecting Alfor to turn around and say ‘haha, sucker.’ But he didn’t, he continued his serious stare.

“But Lance, I must stress how important this is.” Alfor continued. “You must go back to college, keep your head down, work hard and complete your college without incident, only then can you think about a future here.”

“Holy shit…” Lance breathed, immediately regretting the swear as Coran winced. “Are you serious? Really?”

“Of course, you’re incredibly talented.” Alfor continued, unfazed. “And Keith says nothing but wonderful things about you and he couldn’t have been more correct. In fact I owe him fifty dollars.”

Coran and Shiro looked at each other confused, Alfor clarified. “Kogane and I had a bet that Lance couldn’t beat the simulator at the highest difficulty, and obviously I lost, so…”

Shiro couldn’t help the laughter that escaped his lips, Lance’s body flooded once more with relief and let himself laugh too, soon Coran and Alfor were laughing as well, it seemed ridiculous now that Lance was actually close to contemplating his doom not five minutes ago. Alfor took a breath to stop himself laughing.

“But, it goes without saying that this conversation goes no further.” Alfor spoke, Lance stopped laughing and nodded his head fervently. “This is something that we’re going to have to cover up, essentially, if someone from a higher station than I saw, they would take swift and serious action, so it’s probably for the best if only the people in this room know the details of our conversation.”

“Oh, god, I don’t know how I could repay you!” Lance cried, he almost reached out and grabbed Alfor’s hands in appreciation.

“Number one, finish your college course with flying colours,” Alfor smiled. “Number two, make that badge a reality, and three… when you do, make sure I’m your best man.”

Lance laughed again, he wanted to live up to all of those, he basically had Alfor to thank for Keith and his reconciliation.

“You’ve got it.” Lance smiled, they all stood and shook hands, Coran turned to lead Lance and Shiro back to the rest of the group.

“Remember, keep it secret, keep it safe.” Alfor said once more, saluting all three of them, they did the same and left.

Coran lead them to the zero-g chamber were he could see Keith floating around nervously, he looked ridiculous and terrified. As Keith spun round in the air he spotted Lance returning and he tried to swim towards the door desperately. Lance could see Keith yelling something at Hunk who then proceeded to kick Keith across the room to the door. Keith opened the first door and stepped into a de-compression chamber, after he adjusted to gravity once more the second door flew open, he ran out and gathered Lance up in his arms.

“Are you okay?! What happened, what did they say?” Keith’s voice was weak, he’d obviously been tearing his hair out metaphorically since Lance had been gone. Lance looked at Shiro, a stupid grin on his face.

“Go ahead,” Shiro gestured to Keith, Lance untangled Keith from his arms, holding him at arm’s length, Keith looked nervous, unsure of what Lance was going to do next. Lance sucked in a deep breath, his mouth serious, eyebrows drawn together, he looked Keith straight in the eye.

“It’s classified.”

 

The next morning, after a fitful night’s sleep on board, Lance, Pidge, Hunk and Shiro were getting ready to depart, Coran, Keith and Rolo were seeing them off, saying their goodbyes. Rolo shook everyone’s hands, a smirk on his face as he went, it appeared he and Hunk had bonded a little, Hunk no longer glared at him, more regarded him with a guarded look in his eyes, which for Hunk was a huge improvement. Coran gave each of them a handshake and a rigid salute. Keith hugged everyone tightly. Finally it was Lance and Keith’s turn to say goodbye to each other, for a few seconds they just stared at each other, not quite ready to say goodbye or not quite sure what they wanted to say.

After floating around for a couple of hours in zero gravity, they’d gone straight to dinner, gone to the rec room to play some strange kind of air hockey that floated as if in zero-g. After that they’d watched a film and headed straight to bed, Lance, Pidge and Hunk were placed in empty quarters, far away from Keith and Rolo, they woke up to have breakfast together, but it meant that Lance and Keith hadn’t really had a chance to talk to each other properly. There was still a lot of un-resolved tension in the air between them. And now, they definitely weren’t going to be able to talk about everything. Lance sighed deeply, reaching out to take Keith’s hand.

“I can’t believe I have to go back to not seeing you all the time.” He sighed, staring deeply into Keith’s beautiful eyes. “Or talking to you all the time.”

Keith reached out and cupped Lance’s cheek, who leaned into his touch, they ignored the disgusted noises that erupted from behind them.

“I’m going to miss you so much too, it’s been, well, awkward…” Keith laughed and Lance did too, they couldn’t deny that. “But it’s been like being at home. And I think I needed that, so thank you.”

Lance pulled him into a tight hug, maybe last time they said goodbye was easier because they weren’t face to face. Keith was being driven away, they didn’t have to walk away from each other like they did now, and it hurt. Lance was trying not to cry, Keith was his person, the person he wanted to tell everything to, the person he first thought of when something exciting happened, when something sad happened and everything in between, he couldn’t stand the fact that he wouldn’t be able to even speak to him all the time again. Keith pulled away and looked deep into Lance’s eyes like he was thinking the same thing. Suddenly, Keith’s cheeks went very pink as he suddenly gazed down at the badge that Lance was still wearing.

“Hey, here’s an idea…” Keith smiled a little, his cheeks deepening, like he was having to force the words out of himself. “Did you want to maybe… I dunno, stay married?”

Lance almost laughed in his face. “You’ve not even asked me out properly!” Keith looked a little hurt, but then smiled, grabbing Lance’s hands once again.

“Well, we’d only be married on the Garrison system,” Keith smiled softly. “It just means that you’ll be allowed access to the network, so we could talk back and forth.”

“I feel like we should make it more official.” Lance grinned. “I feel like you should ask me properly.”

Keith’s cheeks went a dark red, Lance couldn’t help but mess with him, even after everything that had happened between them. Keith bit his lip, but tried to muster up some confidence.

“Lance, will you be my boyfriend slash husband.” Keith stammered, “I know it’s fast, we’ve only been dating for a couple of seconds, but I feel like it’s the right thing to do.”

Lance considered for a second, bringing a finger to his mouth in mock thought, after a couple of seconds he fluttered his eyelids and grabbed Keith’s hands fully, bringing them high to his chest.

“Oh Keith, I thought you’d never ask!” Lance cried, pulling Keith closer to him to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. “Of course I’ll be your boyfriend slash husbando.”

“H-husbando?” Keith raised his eyebrow.

“Nevermind.” Lance laughed and kissed Keith again, he had to pull away he had to walk away before he found he physically couldn’t. He knew he would cry if he stuck around for much longer.

“Hunk, I want a divorce.” Pidge muttered as she handed over her name badge, her face completely unamused, Hunk had tortured her all night and all morning.

“No! We can make this work!” Hunk cried again, also handing over his name badge. “I can change! You can’t leave me alone with baby Amarillo!”

“Hah! That caught on? That is a terrible name for a baby.” Laughed Lance, Hunk shot him daggers.

“Don’t laugh at my now motherless child!” Hunk spat, trying very hard not to let his laughter ruin his serious façade. “You’re all heartless! My child is born of a broken home!”

“I regret ever asking you to marry me.” Pidge sighed deeply, seriously done with all of Hunk’s jokes.

Coran laughed but then extended his hand to Lance, gesturing for him to hand the badge over, Lance unclipped it and gazed at it, looking over at Keith, who was stood with Rolo, his cheeks still red but looking like he was trying not to cry.

“C-can I keep it?” Lance suddenly blurted, clutching it tight in his fingers. “I… I’ve grown a little attached to it…”

“Lance…” Coran almost begun lecturing him, but relented. “Fine, but you must burn it as soon as you return to earth.” Coran winked heavily.

“I promise.” Lance winked back. Coran, Rolo and Keith stood waving and blowing kisses as they boarded the ship, ready to begin the return home. They climbed into their positions in the cockpit and began the countdown to head home.

Lance finally let the tears run down his cheeks, he tried to stifle his sniffles so that the team wouldn’t hear him, it had been so amazing to see Keith, yet so fleeting. He could not be more relieved that Keith still felt the same way about him, even if there was so much they both needed to say.

The entire journey home Lance was lost in his thoughts, what he had seen on the observation deck, those beautiful stars, the stories behind them, the enormity of the galaxy evident even from that tiny pocket of space they had seen. As they slipped through the wormhole and drew nearer to earth, Lance realised heavily that the way he saw earth was changed forever. He wasn’t sure how he could ever go back to feeling normal again, he knew that being in the galaxy garrison was the one thing he needed to do now more than anything else. He had to work hard, he had to pass his college course with top marks, he had to get up there. He had to see those stars for himself, see those planets, hopefully find out more about Voltron, find out if it really did exist. All of his childhood dreams had come true, but also more dreams had been realised. He missed Keith but he realized he missed space even more, more than he could have ever imagined. He also realized why Keith had never once relented on his decision to go to the garrison, Lance could sympathise so heavily with Keith’s selfishness. He was sure it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but he was also sure that it must be so worth it, and he was grateful for an opportunity to see all that and more.

Lance had never felt more determined in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to come bother me on tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	19. The Passage of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, guess what!” Hunk finally piped up. “My mom adopted a cat! For real!” He turned his phone around and showed Lance and Pidge his mom’s new cat.
> 
> “What’s she called it?” Pidge asked, Lance couldn’t really get his words out so he was glad that Pidge asked.
> 
> “I told her to name it Amarillo,” Hunk grinned toothily. “In honour of my dead cat and my motherless baby!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've begun an alternative continuation of this story from this chapter, the link to that is in the notes at the end of this chapter  
> only read if you love angst and pain.

As soon as the team returned home, Lance immediately received a message from the galaxy garrison which read –

Welcome to the Galaxy Garrison private network, you and your significant other will be able to exchange correspondence for one hour every Sunday from 1pm. The network is private, but if any sensitive or classified information is detected, all correspondence will be reviewed and action will be taken if necessary.  
Your network username is – Lkogane  
Your network password is – klance

Lance went into his network connections in his phones settings and noticed something that hadn’t been there before, a network named ‘GGnetwork’. He pressed it and was asked to provide his username and password, he entered the username and couldn’t help but laugh at the password he had to enter, it was a weird combination of their names, Lance liked it, not least because it had his entire name in it and only a small part of Keith’s. It also rolled off the tongue nicely, he made a note to remind Hunk and Pidge to refer to them as such.

The drive from the hangar was… strange. Lance was busy returning messages and phone calls from his family, telling them that he was fine, but couldn’t go into any details specifically, much to the annoyance of Lance’s siblings. It had only been about 24 hours, but it was the most important and significant 24 hours of Lance’s life. He wasn’t sure how he would cope with the summer, going to see his family, then going back to university. He knew he had to do it to get back out there, but it was difficult to adjust. It all felt so boring and normal, and Lance had a little twinge of jealousy of Keith, that was his every day.

Lance had to keep reminding himself that he had seen a day where everyone was off, there was no battling, no adventuring, he didn’t know what it was like when shit hit the fan.

 

June 7. 1:01pm

Keith_ LANCE! I’m so excited!

Lance_ Hey! I stayed in bed all morning in anticipation, I was so excited I couldn’t actually get out of bed and do anything.

Keith_ I’ve been up since 05:00

Lance_ But… why?

Keith_ Um, you’re forgetting I’m basically in the military, even on our day off we still have to be up early.

Lance_ I think you’ve truly put me off the garrison.

Keith_ There is no room here for weakness, that’s probably for the best.

Lance_ Rude.

Keith_ How’s earth?

Lance_ The worst.

Keith_ It feels like it’s been so long, I can’t really remember what it’s like to be on earth. I’m used to fake gravity and recycled oxygen, I think the clear air back on earth would make me pass out.

Lance_ I’d much rather be on recycled oxygen, fuck trees.

Keith_ Don’t let Pidge’s bonsai hear you say that, apparently if you talk to your plants they grow better, you’ve just killed Pidge’s bonsai.

Lance_ His name is Hanzo, and I love him, I talk to him all the time, I mean fuck the trees outside, Hanzo is too stunted to make much oxygen at all.

Keith_ I envy Hanzo.

Lance_ Why?

Keith_ Because he gets to see you all the time. Like space is great and all, but you’re on earth and wherever you are is pretty great.

Lance_ You’re so goofy. Stop. Take this picture of Hanzo to keep you going.

Lance quietly slipped into Pidge’s room and took a picture of Hanzo to send to Keith, a grin plastered to his face.

Keith_ I’ll cherish it always.

Lance_ Same time next week?

Keith_ Of course.

 

June 14. 1:05pm

Keith_ I’ve changed your name in my phone.

Lance_ Oh?

Keith_ You’re now husbando with a little heart emoji.

Lance_ AH, you caught onto what that is now?

Keith_ Yeah, Rolo told me it’s like a weeb?! Thing?

Lance_ Haha

Lance_ I should change your name too?

Keith_ Only if you want to.

Lance_ Okay, I’ve changed it.

Keith_ What did you change it to?

Lance_ The X-File

Keith_ Oh…

Lance_ I put a little heart emoji next to it. I’m just a fan of the x-files, and you’re an x-file now.

Keith_ I don’t think I’ve seen it before. I understand the premise though.

Lance_ It’s pretty great, it’s classic 90s with bad special effects and power shoulder pads.

Keith_ Oh jeez, I think you just put me off.

Lance_ It was my mom’s favourite show, I’ll tell her you said that.

Keith_ Oh god, please don’t tell her that, I can’t upset Mama Lanza.

Lance_ Please stop referring to members of my family as weaponry.

Keith_ I think it’s quite apt, she always had a sharp wit.

Lance_ You met her once!

Keith_ The measure of friendship and admiration does not equate to the measure of time.

Lance_ You’re so goofy.

Keith_ Are you going home for summer?

Lance_ Yeah, in a couple of weeks.

Keith_ Send me lots of pics

Lance_ Of course.

 

Lance stared up at the ceiling, the summer sunshine was back in full force, Lance was lost in his thoughts about last summer. About this time last year, they were driving to Lance’s mothers. Lance had so much contempt for Keith at that time, it was strange to think they’d come this far in a year. Pidge had let Lance keep Hanzo the bonsai in his room, he talked to it every day and it seemed to be flourishing. He talked to it like a baby, he talked about Keith like he was its other father who was just away at work a lot. He knew he should be packing for the visit home, he was going to be staying for a few weeks, so really he needed to pack up nearly everything.

Their lease was up on this apartment soon, and the landlord was kicking them out, so it was Hunk and Pidge’s responsibility to find somewhere new to live over the summer whilst Lance was away, Lance insisted that he stay and help them out, but they wouldn’t let him. They seemed to be treating him as if he were a bit of a fragile bird since their trip out to the space station, which was rubbing Lance wrong in all sorts of ways. He’d never felt stronger or more determined, but he was really missing his family, so he just let them get on with it.

 

June 21. 1:30pm  
Keith_ Whoops, sorry I’m late.

Lance_ It’s okay, what was the hold-up?

Keith_ This

Keith attached a picture of him and Rolo with brooms in their hands, a gigantic pile of rubble in the middle, sweat dripping from their foreheads, they both looked aggressively done with the situation.

Lance_ What’s all that stuff on the floor?

Keith_ Drones.

Lance_ Why tho?

Keith_ The higher ups were practising their sniping with drones on the training deck, usually they’d do it in a sim, but they wanted to check the debris to see where their shots actually hit and what sort of damage they were doing.

Lance_ Ah, I see.

Keith_ And obviously, because we’re the new recruits – even though I’ve been here for almost a year- We’re the ones that have to tidy up the wreckage.

Lance_ Looks like hard work.

Keith_ Yeah, just a bit. But it’s ok, it’s a good work out I guess and we’re getting a nice meal tonight.

Keith_ Are you okay, you seem a little… quiet, which for you always means somethings up.

Lance_ It’s nothing.

Lance was being stupid, but he was staring at the picture that Keith had sent, Rolo in the background, flushing red with sweat on his forehead, a stupid smirk on his face, looking cool and rugged with his arms folded.

Keith_ Honestly… what’s up? Was it something I said?

Lance_ If I tell you, you’ll think I’m insane.

Keith_ Try me.

Lance_ Did anything ever happen between you and Rolo? Like, back when you were classmates at your old university.

Keith_ Okay, yeah, I do think you’re insane.

Lance_ I know, I’m sorry.

Keith_ Are you forgetting that actually you were my first kiss? My first everything?!

Lance had forgotten about that, and felt stupid about bringing it up.

Keith_ Hunk was always convinced that Rolo had a thing for me, but I never saw it, if I didn’t know any better I’d have said Rolo had a thing for Hunk.

Lance_ No way, Hunk acts like he despises him.

Keith_ And Rolo acts like it doesn’t bother him.

Lance smirked and showed the texts to Hunk, who scoffed in shock.

Lance_ Hunk doesn’t believe you.

Keith_ And Rolo fervently denies it.

Lance_ Yeah, sounds about right.

Keith_ Sorry, I can’t stick around longer.

Lance_ It’s okay, speak next week, I’ll send you pics of my family when I get there.

 

Sofia wrapped Lance up in a huge warm embrace, she helped him load his bags into the car, and Lance divulged as much as he was legally allowed to of his trip up to the space station.

“How was it seeing Keith?” Sofia asked, she’d been dying to ask that question since she picked Lance up. Lance hesitated, unsure whether or not to tell the truth, Lance was not one to lie to his mother.

“It was… to be honest a little awkward at first.” Lance sighed, watching the countryside pass him by.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I think it was just because y’know…” Lance faltered. “There was so many expectations we both had of seeing each other, I think we’d both so severely romanticised it and the situation really didn’t allow for that sort of thing… so it was a little tense and awkward.”

“I see,”

“But after a while, we kind of got over that tension and it’s been okay since.” Lance smiled, scrolling through the messages on his phone, realizing that they still hadn’t really spoken about… things.

“I’m glad to hear it, Keith is such a wonderful boy.” Sofia gushed, remembering how Keith was so kind and helpful and a talented cook, Sofia didn’t get too involved in the people that Lance chose, but Keith was just… perfect. She kind of felt like she wanted to protect him, even though she knew he didn’t need protecting.

“Yeah…” Lance smiled.

“Oh, Robert and Alyssa moved in together a couple of months back,” Sofia smiled, Lance paled, he had been so wrapped up in his own stuff he’d totally forgot about his siblings and their lives. Robert and Alyssa had been dating since high school, Lance was glad, it was about time they got a little more serious.

“Oh wow, that’s… really cool!” Lance laughed, feeling like an idiot for not asking about everyone sooner. “It’s about time, huh… Are you missing him?”

“Of course, I always miss you kids, mijo.” Sofia smiled. “The house is emptier without the two of you, but certainly not quieter. But… I have a surprise for you.”

Sofia was smiling softly, trying to gauge Lance’s reaction.

“Oh yeah?” Lance smiled, his stomach already flipping in anticipation.

“There might be someone at home that you’ve not seen in a while.” Sofia still didn’t let herself fully smile, she’d wanted to wait till they got home to surprise him but she couldn’t keep it quiet anymore.

“W-who?” Lance could feel himself start to shake, his heart racing, he had an idea of what his mom was about to say, but he didn’t want to jinx it, he worried if he said it out loud it would be someone else entirely.

“Papa.” Sofia finally said, her heart racing probably as quickly as Lance’s was, his face changed quickly, he was smiling but there was flashes of nerves.

Lance’s father was in the navy, so he was away a lot. Lance had never told anyone about it, because it just didn’t ever seem to come up. He had thought about disclosing this to Allura, since they were in a similar situation, but it had been so long and his mother was such a great parental figure that he’d never felt like something was missing, as heartless as that may seem it was true. Lance loved his father obviously, and couldn’t wait to see him but they very rarely heard from him. Lance heard more from Keith in the last three weeks than he had heard from his father in the last 20 years.

“Oh!” Lance didn’t mean to sound so underwhelmed, because he was excited to see him, they had a LOT to catch up on.

“He will only be with us for a couple of days, but he can’t wait to see you!” Sofia smiled. “I’ve told him all about the garrison and your college course and he is so proud of you! But I’ll let him tell you all about that when you see him!”

“D-did you tell him about Keith?” Lance stammered, Sofia grinned, bearing her teeth happily trying to stifle a giggle.

“Of course not! I saved that news for you!” Sofia giggled, which was torturous. Lance obviously wasn’t ashamed of Keith, but his father was often harshly judgemental after meeting so many girlfriends and boyfriends that lasted all of a couple of weeks at a time.

“Oh god!” Lance groaned, hitting his head back on the headrest behind him. “He’s gonna hate him right off the bat isn’t he?”

“Of course not!” Sofia laughed, she wasn’t entirely sure how Lance’s father might react. His father was fiercely protective, especially since he wasn’t around much. He got such a small snapshot of each of his children’s lives that he couldn’t help but worry and panic about them when he couldn’t be there.

Lance fell asleep for the rest of the journey, whilst Sofia sung softly, it always sent Lance to sleep. She had such a soothing voice and it always helped with Lance’s more restless nights, as he begun to get older and realize that his father was so far away.

 

June 28. 1:00pm

Keith_ I’m on time!

Lance_ I’m so proud of you!

Keith_ Thank you, thank you.

Keith_ How was the trip to your moms’?

Lance_ Yeah, it was fine, I slept most of the way, but hey, I have news.

Keith_ Tell me!

Lance attached a picture he’d taken of his father and him after being reunited, it was tearful and they talked for hours.

Keith_ Oh, my god! Is that your dad?!

Lance_ Yeah, haha, his name is Robert Sr.

Keith_ You never ever mentioned your dad! You look almost exactly alike!

Lance_ Yeah… he’s away a lot with work and it… never came up I guess.

Keith_ There were no pictures of him at the house?

Lance_ I think you’re underestimating how little he was around when I was a kid.

Keith_ Did you tell him about me?

Lance_ Of course.

Keith_ What did he say?

Lance glanced at his father now, who was currently fast asleep on the sofa, a half-drunk cup of coffee in his hands, it looked as though it was the first time in a long time that Robert had managed to nap in the afternoon.

Lance_ He was happy for me, but obviously he hates you.

Keith_ He hates me?!

Lance_ He’s always hated my exes. I… I had so many growing up that didn’t last very long so he immediately just has his guard up. I mean, maybe hate is a strong word, he’s just mostly indifferent I guess. He’s expecting the break up to be soon.

Keith_ Well, I’ll just have to try not to break up with you.

Lance_ Hardest thing you’ll ever have to do?

Keith_ Pretty much the easiest thing I’ll ever have to do. You’re technically my husband so, y’know. You’re stuck with me.

Lance_ I can work with that.

Lance_ My mom says hi, and also te amo.

Keith_ Yo tambien te quiero!

Lance_ She’s nearly crying.

Keith_ I try.

Lance_ Hey, Keith, can we talk?

Keith_ We are?

Lance_ You know what I mean.

Keith didn’t respond for a few moments.

Keith_ I’ve got to go.

Lance sighed, this was the difference about talking through messages rather than face to face, was that one of the parties could run away if they wanted to.

 

Lance’s father left as quickly as he arrived, he hugged each of his children tightly and tearfully and went, Lance knew they wouldn’t hear from him for another year or so at least. Lance’s father had been so enthusiastic about Lance’s future in the garrison, happy that his son was passionate about something military related just like him. He had also warmed to Keith’s existence as Lance spoke about him more and more. Robert sr. had also asked that Lance show him his sharpshooting prowess with a rifle they found in the shed and almost cried when he witnessed Lance’s talent. Sofia smiling happily all the way. She adored her husband, she missed him terribly, but she was endlessly proud at the children she had managed to raise even without him.

 

Jul 5. 1:10pm

Keith_ I’m sorry about last week… I panicked a little. I’m here to talk if you want to.

Lance_ I think we should.

Keith_ You go first.

Lance_ Okay…

Lance took a deep breath, now that he was actually faced with this conversation, he didn’t know what he wanted say.

Lance_ You… really hurt me. I hope you know that… I know I gave you a hard time and I can understand why you did it now… but you broke my heart.

Keith didn’t respond for a few minutes, Lance panicked that he’d pushed a little too hard too fast.

Keith_ I know… I’ll regret that forever.

Lance_ I don’t want to feel that kind of pain again okay?

Keith_ I would never do that to you, ever. You have to believe me.

Lance_ I think I do.

Keith_ You know you hurt me too.

Lance gulped, he knew that was coming, they had both treated each other pretty badly at some point or another.

Keith_ I had it for you so bad, and you just… I know I never said anything but it really hurt that you were so insensitive. That you didn’t even see me as a friend, even after driving you home and back.

He did? Even then? Even when Lance was so terrible to him.

Lance_ I didn’t know…

Keith_ Yeah I know… but you still shouldn’t speak to people like that. I know I blew up at you at the time… but… yeah it fucking stung.

Lance_ I am sorry for that, and I am sorry for kissing you… I don’t know why I did because I selfishly took away a chance for your first kiss to be perfect. I think I secretly had it pretty bad for you too, I just took those emotions and assumed it was hate and jealousy.

Keith_ It was okay for my first kiss… I think we keep romanticising these things and getting disappointed when it’s not perfect, so it was nice. It did feel like you were only doing it because you pitied me, but… I liked it.

Lance laughed at that, he was currently sat in the kitchen, gazing at the spot where it had happened, he remembered what Keith’s face looked like in that moment, shocked and a little caught off guard.

Lance_ It wasn’t pity, it was more… curiosity I guess.

Keith_ That’s a little better I guess.

Keith_ I’ll never be able to make it up to you… but… I know I’ve made all these excuses before but you have and always will be my one constant. I needed you to keep me grounded for a little bit.

Lance_ I understand that now, I’m not really mad about it anymore, I don’t even really count all that as being part of our relationship really. Just stupid mistakes we made I guess. Just thought it’d be good to get it all out, clear the air a little. Move on. Distance makes things a little bit more intense, I mean, we’re married practically.

Keith_ Lance Kogane, I’ve really grown attached to it.

Lance thought about Hanzo the bonsai back home, he’d instructed Hunk to sing to it every day, but he had clipped the little name badge that he had ‘burned’ to Hanzo’s pot.

Lance_ Yeah me too…

Keith_ Okay, this is really gross and cheesy I’m gonna go.

Lance_ Yeah, I think I’m gonna vomit. Speak to you next week.

Keith_ Can’t wait, hopefully it’ll be a little more casual than this.

 

Hunk and Pidge had sent photos of their new apartment to Lance. It was very swanky. It was a little further off campus than their last apartment, but no more than a five minute longer trip to their lectures, Lance was happy and they’d taken a picture of Hanzo in a bright, sunny spot on the windowsill, Lance supposed that was the window of his new room. He showed the photos to his mother who expressed her joy at the apartment. When Lance left his parents they’d be going straight to the apartment, Hunk and Pidge insisted that they would move all his stuff for him and make it feel like home for when he got back.

 

Jul 12. 1:05pm

Keith_ Lance! I miss you! I have news!

Lance_ Hey, you sound excited.

Keith_ Yeah! You know those stars we were looking at?

Lance_ I remember, yeah.

Keith_ We were allowed to name them, until obviously we find any evidence that they should be named otherwise.

Lance_ What did you go for? Lanza stuck?

Keith_ Of course, I insisted.

Lance_ What about the other one?

Keith_ The red one we called Espada.

Lance_ Sword??

Keith_ I wanted to keep the Spanish names going, so… I thought maybe I’d go for another weapon I liked, something maybe associated with myself? It sounds a bit… obnoxious but I liked the sound of Espada anyway.

Lance_ How is a sword in any way associated with you?

Keith_ I can’t really… go into details, but… a sword is my weapon of choice?

Lance_ I can’t actually picture that without literally dying because damn. I imagine you like an emo Link from Zelda.

Keith_ Um… why not just Shadow Link.

Lance_ Even better.

Keith_ Crushing on a video game character?

Lance_ Adult Link was fine, you can’t even deny it.

Keith_ Sheik is better.

Lance_ Wow, you could NOT be more wrong.

Keith_ C’mon, it just proved that Zelda looked good in a dress and as a ‘dude’ in tights.

Lance_ I’m not relenting. I spent my entire childhood in love with Link.

Keith_ Hah, okay, I’m gonna go, speak to you next week.

Lance_ Te amo

Keith_ YTTQ

Lance_ Did you just abbreviate your response?! To my love?! How dare you?!

Keith_ It’s a lot to type out, and I can’t work out how to do a little accent so I feel like I’m doing a disservice to your language.

Lance_ Then just say it in English!

Keith_ Okay, ily.

Lance_ I MEANT TYPE IT OUT.

 

Jul 19. 1:20pm

Keith_ Sorry I’m late!

Lance_ You will be.

Keith_ I’m sorry!

Lance_ I have news.

Keith_ Do tell!

Lance sent Keith a picture of Lance’s brother Robert and his now fiancé Alyssa.

Keith_ Oh wow! She’s beautiful!

Lance_ Right? They just got engaged!

Keith_ OH! I didn’t even notice the ring, that’s really exciting.

Lance_ My mom cried, so did Alyssa and Rebecca.

Keith_ You were crying too weren’t you.

Lance_ Love will always make me cry, Keith. If you’d have met Alyssa you would be crying now too.

Keith_ They look really happy, do they know when the big day will be?

Lance_ They’re thinking maybe next summer or the year after, they’re not entirely sure.

Keith_ Can’t wait.

Lance_ Are you assuming you’ll be invited?

Keith_ Oh, yeah, I guess that was a pretty big presumption, huh?

Lance_ I’m kidding, they’d love to have you there. You’d just have to try and meet Alyssa BEFORE the wedding.

Keith_ Yeah, I’ll try.

Lance_ You reckon you’ll be home for the wedding?

Keith_ I’ll make sure of it.

Lance_ That’s a deal.

 

Jul 26. 1:01pm

Keith_ Happy birthday for two days time! I’m sorry I can’t be there, but enjoy this picture of me and the stars.

Keith had attached a selfie of himself in the observation room, he’d obviously knelt down at some angle, because Altea, Arus and the four smaller stars were in their formation in the background behind him. He looked so sweet, smiling away happily.

Lance_ Thanks, I’m gonna cherish that photo forever, you look adorable.

Keith_ Thanks, I guess.

Keith_ What have you got planned for your birthday?

Lance_ I dunno, maybe go to the beach, I haven’t been surfing for a long time, so maybe do a bit of that.

Keith_ Send me a photo! I have to see that!

Lance_ What so you can laugh at me?

Keith_ No… surfer dudes, always been sorta my thing… I guess because it’s so far removed from what I’m like.

Lance_ I’ll break out my puka shell necklace for ya.

Lance_ Maybe frost my tips?

Lance_ Maybe stay in the sun till it looks like I have a failing liver?

Keith_ Okay, I said surfer dude, not a 90s boyband asshole.

Lance_ I’m not joking I do actually have puka shell necklace.

Keith_ Ok, you can wear that, it kind of contributes to the aesthetic I guess.

Lance_ Saaaah dude.

Keith_ Stop.

Lance_ Hang ten, my dude.

Keith_ I’m never telling you anything ever again.

Lance_ C’mon my bro, life’s a beach!

Keith_ I’m leaving you.

Lance_ Only a surfer knows the feeling.

Keith_ I’m humiliated and embarrassed, you’re the worst husband ever.

Lance_ If it swells, ride it!

Keith_ Lance, holy shit, re-read that last one!

Lance_ Did I stutter?

Lance couldn’t deny that he was laughing at himself. Keith didn’t respond for a few minutes.

Keith_ Okay, maybe I’m not leaving you.

Lance_ Totally stoked brah!

Keith_ Bye Lance.

 

Lance was stood on the beach, holding the surfboard under his arms, sunglasses on his head, his tan was coming up nicely, Sofia was gushing with Lance’s phone in her hand, taking a photo, Lance flashed his cheekiest and most charming smile while making the shaka symbol with his hand.

He sent it to Keith as soon as he filtered it so that the sunshine was bright and the sky was a beautiful blue.

 

Jul 28. 9:59pm

Keith_ Lance, this is so TOTALLY against the rules, please delete these as soon as you receive them.

Lance_ Woah, Keith! It’s not Sunday.

Keith_ I-I know, but that fucking picture.

Lance_ Oh?

Keith_ I… I’m dying here on my own, I miss you so much.

Lance_ Oh, is that so?

Keith_ It just made me realise that we’ve only… y’know spent… one night together… really.

Lance_ Yeah, I guess you’re right.

Lance_ Are you missing me, or just the hot bod that’s attached.

Keith_ It’s very possible that I’m missing both. You just… have you like… bulked up or something?

Lance_ I’ve been trying to work out, this coming year at college is gonna be a lot of training so I wanted to make sure I was fit enough for it.

Lance_ Damn, you sound like you’re really thirsty.

Keith_ Thirsty?

Lance_ I guess the right description of it is… desperate for me and my hot bod.

Keith_ OK, I’m definitely thirsty then.

Lance_ Well, if it makes you feel any better, I feel the same right now.

Keith_ What would you do if I were there right now?

Lance just stopped, and burst out laughing.

Lance_ Okay, did you just… fuckboy me?!

Keith_ what the fuck are you talking about?

Lance_ ahah then what ;)

Keith_ What are you talking about.

Lance_ Keith, you really better go, because… you are gonna get in so much shit, and I’ve been told to keep my head down and get through college without incident.

Keith_ W-what?!

Lance_ I’m sorry, I desperately want to be with you, devouring your entire body with my tongue right now, but I can’t risk my future at the garrison just because you’re horny.

Keith_ YOU CAN’T SAY THAT

Lance_ Say what?

Keith_ the thing about devouring me.

Lance_ Why not?!

Keith_ Because if I was ‘thirsty’ before, I’m fucking parched now.

Lance_ Doesn’t quite work like that but I get it, but you really ought to sign out and delete all traces the fact that you were messaging me. We can’t risk our futures over your desire for me.

Keith_ You’re right, I love you.

Lance_ Te amo.

 

Aug 2. 1:15pm

Lance_ Look at our new apartment.

Lance attached several pictures for Keith to peruse. Pidge and Hunk had chosen extremely well, Hanzo was thriving.

Keith_ Oh wow, it’s… really nice!

Lance_ I know right.

Lance attached a selfie of him, Pidge and Hunk all smiling happily in the new apartment’s living room. It was all cream walls and wooden floors, Pidge had put plants everywhere, claiming that they helped to clear the air and keep everyone calm during trying times, like exams.

Keith_ Oh man, I miss you all so much.

Lance_ We miss you too, you’ve made Hunk cry now, well done.

Keith_ Sorry…

Lance_ I wish you were here living with me. In fact, I wish I were there, with you, living amongst the stars together.

Keith_ Either would be good.

Keith_ When does the semester start?

Lance_ In a couple of weeks? I’m nervous, it seems weird to go from having been in space to going back to university and using a shitty simulator.

Keith_ This year will go quick, then It’ll be summer, then it’ll be your final year! Then you’ll be graduating.

Lance_ I know…

Keith_ Hey, I just… wanted to let you know, after today I won’t be able to message you very much. It’ll be more like every two weeks instead, I can’t say why but… I’ll be away a lot.

Lance_ Oh… okay. It’s weird to think that you’ve been there for a year now.

Keith_ I know, it’s… crazy. It’s gone so quickly.

Keith_ You know, you have to know how much you mean to me.

Lance_ Why are you getting so heavy all of a sudden?

Keith_ Because I just want you to know. You’re the most important person in my life, I’d do anything for you.

Lance_ You’re kinda scaring me… what’s going on?

Keith_ Nothing, I just… feel affectionate I guess? Just thinking about stuff.

Lance_ Oh, okay… I feel the same.

Keith_ Good, I’m glad to hear it… I’ll speak to you… in two weeks time.

 

Lance felt like that two weeks dragged, he was desperately checking his phone on the first Sunday, he knew that Keith wouldn’t be texting, but… it was difficult to adjust to.

 

Aug 16. 1:34pm

Keith_ Sorry! I didn’t mean to be so late! I’m exhausted today, I hope you’re okay.

Lance_ Keith! It’s okay, I’m just really happy to hear from you. It feels like the last two weeks have been so long!

Keith_ I know. Look.

Keith attached a picure, Keith had a fresh, cut along the side of his neck.

Keith_ Another battle wound, don’t be upset, I can’t tell you (obviously) where I got it but I’m fine.

Lance’s heart stopped at the cut on his neck, it looked as though it was very, VERY close to a main artery.

Allura was sat next to him on the sofa, a cup of coffee in her hand, which she almost spilled all over Lance after seeing the photo.

“Holy shit!” Allura cried, making Lance jump as well. “That’s deep! Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he said he’s fine.” Lance breathed, trying not to stare at it, Keith didn’t look upset or in pain in the photo, it can’t have been that bad.

Suddenly Allura’s phone started to ring. She grinned at it and answered, putting it on loudspeaker.

“Hey dad!” She smiled happily into the phone.

“Hello, daughter,” Alfor’s deep voice poured through the speaker, Lance forgot how spine-tinglingly intimidating it was.

“I’m here with Lance, so don’t say anything bad about him.” Allura laughed, sipping her coffee. “We’ve just seen Keith’s cut, is he okay?”

“Hello, Lance.” Alfor greeted, Lance grunted in response. “Keith is fine, he played fast and loose with his veins but he’s okay, I’m sure he’d appreciate your concern.”

Keith_ Lance? Are you there?

Lance_ Yeah, sorry, Allura’s next to me on the phone with Alfor. It looks sore, are you okay?

Keith_ Yeah, I’m fine. It’s quite painful but… the tech on the ship makes sure we don’t really feel it as much as we would on earth.

Lance_ That’s good, I’m glad you’re not in pain.

Keith_ Me too.

“Allura, is it okay to speak to you alone?” Alfor’s voice came through the receiver. “No offence Lance, I’d like to catch up with my daughter in private.”

Allura looked at Lance apologetically.

“No worries, Alfor, it was nice to hear your voice in any case.”

“Yours also, Kogane.”

Allura looked Lance dead in the eye, it was almost as though Alfor could sense the situation too, as they both said ‘It’s classified’ in unison. Allura shook her head, an unbelieving smile on her face, she took her phone and disappeared out onto the balcony.

Lance_ Did I mention we have a balcony?

Keith_ No, that’s awesome!

Lance_ Yup!

Keith_ I really want to speak longer, since it feels like it’s been forever but… I have to go.

Lance_ It’s okay, speak to you soon.

 

Aug 30. 1:03pm

Keith_ Are you excited?

Lance_ Excited for what?

Keith_ Aren’t you back at college tomorrow?

Lance_ Yeah, I guess I’m excited. Everything has been so underwhelming since coming to see you earlier this year.

Keith_ Feeling a little impatient?

Lance_ Little bit. Two more whole years?! By then, you’ll be a Lieutenant Colonel or something!

Keith_ Maybe? I doubt it tho.

Lance_ Why do you doubt it?

Keith_ Apparently I’m too ‘impulsive’ I don’t think things through, they’re trying to train me to be a little more thoughtful and strategic.

Lance_ Really? Impulsive? You?

Keith_ On the battlefield I mean.

Lance_ Ah, okay.

Lance_ Hey, I forgot to tell you, Rob and Aly have chosen a date for their wedding.

Keith_ Ooh! Exciting! When is it?

Lance_ Summer in two years time, I think like… July 2nd

Keith_ I’ll make sure that I’m back in time!

Lance_ That sounds good. I really hope I get to see you before then though.

Keith_ Let’s hope.

Lance didn’t appreciate the vagueness.

 

They continued chatting every two weeks, exchanging photos and pleasantries, it was nice, Lance enjoyed the consistency. This year at college was intense, so it was a nice way to wind down at the end of the week, they’d hit a really nice point in their relationship, they loved each other, but they were getting on fine without each other, which Lance didn’t think was a bad thing.

ove always seemed like it was strongest when people would say ‘I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU’ in some big dramatic way, but Lance thought that actually, the moment you can say ‘I can live without you’ but still choose to love that person unconditionally, you’ve got something good. Because love is all-consuming but if it’s intense all the time, it ends up being a little tiring. It really isn’t like it is in films and tv shows, because once all those big gestures of romances and huge declarations of love are gone, everything else seems a little… underwhelming.  
Keith and Lance didn’t feel the need to always say I love you, or make huge declarations of their love for each other, it just felt easy after everything else that had happened. And Lance wouldn’t change it for the world.

Christmas came around quickly, Lance had opted to stay at the apartment with Hunk and Pidge, Shiro and Allura came to the apartment and they all made dinner together and opened presents.

Dec 25. 1:45pm

Keith_ Happy Holidays, I miss and love you more than there are stars in the sky.

Lance_ Feliz navidad, te amo mas que nada en el mundo.

 

Feb 14. 1.12pm

Lance_ Happy Valentines day, samurai.

Lance attached an almost censorable photo. He didn’t hear anything for a couple of minutes.

Keith_ Oh, sorry, I didn’t respond for a bit, because I died.

Lance_ You flatter me.

Keith_ I’m dead now.

Lance_ Oh no, let me… resurrect you ;)

Keith_ Weird…

Lance_ Yeah, that was a bit weird… forget I said that.

Lance_ Hang ten?

Keith_ Okay, I’m thinking surfer now, I’m good. You look so good. But… maybe warn me next time? Rolo was literally right behind me.

Lance_ Oh, haha, sorry, I didn’t think about that.

Lance_ Did you wanna send me something back, in return?

Keith_ Uh… really? Do you want me to?

Lance_ Are you really asking me that question?!

Keith_ Y-yeah I guess, I’m a little nervous.

Lance_ Why? You sent one before?

Keith_ I had a shirt on in that photo.

Lance_ Just take your shirt off.

Keith after a couple of minutes finally sent him a photo, he’d obviously spent ages trying to set it all up, he was shirtless, but he was covering his face in embarrassment, but Lance was too busy staring at his ripped chest and abs.

But not even at the muscles… at the light scars littered across his abdomen, Lane didn’t mind obviously, it was just jarring to see it for the first time, he was a little terrified but Keith looked incredible.

Keith_ Lance?

Lance_ Sorry, I… just wow

Keith_ I wasn’t sure how you’d react, do you think I’m disgusting?

Lance_ Oh god no, you’re fucking beautiful, mi amor.

Keith_ Good, I’m glad to hear that.

Keith_ I miss you so much. I love you.

Lance_ Te amo.

 

Allura was wiping down the counter, whistling softly to herself, when suddenly Lance was overcome with the urge to sing. It was a song that his mother always used to sing, but Allura seemed to be whistling the tune. As Lance began singing, Allura’s ears perked up, glancing up at him, she smiled and started singing too. The coffee shop was empty and it was just the two of them and Pidge, who was too busy with her headphones in, typing away on the keyboard to notice their singing. Lance liked the sound of their voices together, Allura was beautifully tuneful. Lance put down his coffee cup and approached the counter, he extended his hand to Allura as an invitation to dance, Allura beamed and raced round the counter, taking his hand.

He pulled her in close and they began waltzing to their singing. It was so cheesy, but since Lance was in love, he allowed himself little cheesy indulgences. It was an old Elvis Presley song that Lance’s mother and father had danced their first dance to at their wedding. It was the song that always sent Lance to sleep on restless nights. Lance was a tiny baby when Sofia and Robert sr. got married, Robert was a couple of years older and he carried Lance down the aisle with Angie trailing behind them, they were both wearing tiny little suits and Angie in an adorable little dress.

Lance could feel himself start to choke up at the memory, and Allura did the same, her eyebrows drawing together, suddenly they heard sobbing that didn’t belong to either of them and turned to Pidge, who had tears pouring down her cheeks. Shiro had appeared and was stood behind her, trying not to cry, Shiro had his phone out recording, Lance wanted to be mad that he was filming but he was too emotional. Allura pulled him into a tight hug and pulled away, cupping his cheek, he was really lucky to have made a friend like Allura, he regretted every day that they’d not become closer sooner. He was lucky, in fact, to have all the friends that he had. After struggling so badly in the first two years of his time at university, he had, thanks to Pidge, Hunk, Shiro and Keith, become as confident as he had faked in the past.

 

Apr 11. 1:10pm

Keith_ That video made me cry.

Lance_ ??

Keith_ Allura sent her dad a video ages ago, of the two of you dancing and singing, and he’d only just showed me, he said he wanted to show me once he knew he wouldn’t cry in front of me, so instead I cried.

Lance_ Oh, that was my parent’s wedding song.

Keith_ It’s beautiful, I don’t think I’ve heard it before, but I’ve watched the video so many times that I think I know it off by heart.

Lance_ That’s really sweet, Keith.

Keith_ I didn’t think I’d ever find a song that made me think of us, but… that felt like all of my feelings laid out in song.

Lance_ Now that you mention it, you’re so right.

Keith_ That should be our wedding song too.

Lance_ Only if you want to make my mom cry.

Keith_ Only with happiness.

 

Lance was wringing his hands nervously, he must have been over-reacting. He was walking quickly to the coffee shop, he needed to see Allura.

He hadn’t heard from Keith. He’d sat up all night on the Sunday he was supposed to be in contact, panicking, terrified, wondering why he’d not heard anything. He didn’t want to wake up Allura that night so he decided to pop in and see her the next day. Now his heart was racing, his palms were sweaty, how did he know that Allura knew any more than he did. He rounded the corner, his hands shaking, he pushed the glass door open, he could see Allura behind the counter, she looked fine, she didn’t look upset or worried, so maybe Lance was overreacting. When he entered, her smile dropped and she rushed over to him.

“Lance, are you okay? What’s wrong?” She fretted around him, grabbing his shaking hands.

“I… I haven’t heard from Keith… he didn’t send me anything… y-yesterday.” Lance’s voice was weaker than he imagined it would be. Allura ushered him over to the coffee shop window and sat him down.

“I-it’s okay, Lance,” Allura’s voice was a little shaky, “I haven’t heard from my father either… maybe there’s some cosmic interference, no news is good news as they say.”

“I suppose…” Lance swallowed, Allura disappeared and came back with a green tea.

“It’s okay, there’s been a couple of times that his has happened before,” Allura smiled. “Where I’ve not heard from my father for whatever reason, hopefully we’ll hear from them today.”

“I-I’m gonna stay here… okay? Then at least, if one of us hears something the other will know.” Lance breathed, his heart calming slightly at Allura’s words.

Classes had finished and exams were coming up, Lance could really do without this sort of stress before his exams, he didn’t want to risk anything whilst he was worrying.

“Okay, Lance, I’ll keep bringing you tea and food, everything will be okay, alright?” Allura smiled, she patted him on the shoulder and left him at the table.

A couple of hours passed and they’d heard nothing. Hunk and Pidge had decided to join Lance at the coffee shop, Pidge was typing away and Hunk was lecturing her, telling her it wasn’t safe to try and break into the garrison systems to see what was going on. Allura said the same, so Pidge settled on trying to get some studying done instead. Lance couldn’t concentrate, he watched the clouds outside come and go, the butterflies in his stomach destroying his appetite. There was a cinnamon roll on the table in front of him and a cup of cold green tea, he hadn’t touched it.

“Hey, guess what!” Hunk finally piped up. “My mom adopted a cat! For real!” He turned his phone around and showed Lance and Pidge his mom’s new cat.

“What’s she called it?” Pidge asked, Lance couldn’t really get his words out so he was glad that Pidge asked.

“I told her to name it Amarillo,” Hunk grinned toothily. “In honour of my dead cat and my motherless baby!”

Lance broke into a wracking laughter, Pidge joined in and so did Hunk, they laughed for a little while, it felt good to laugh when he felt so tense, Lance finally took a sip of his tea though his hand shook the entire time.

Suddenly Allura raced out of the room, Shiro watched her go, and Lance was on tenterhooks, he suddenly regretted at once sipping that tea, because now his stomach had something to vomit.

Ten minutes went past.

“Hunk can you take over, I’m gonna go and check on her.” Shiro asked, his voice shaking. Hunk nodded and leapt up, he’d covered a couple of shifts in the past so he knew what to do. Lance was checking his phone constantly, waiting for an update from Keith, but still nothing.

Another ten minutes went past though it felt like hours, Pidge’s typing had stopped and Lance was forcing himself to remember how to breath.

Shiro finally entered the coffee shop, his cheeks and eyes red.

“Lance, she wants to see you.” Shiro said, his voice breaking. Lance with shaking hands allowed his legs to move him.

He ascended the stairs, preparing himself, his heart was racing and his throat was closed, he struggled to breath and his eyes were already stinging with tears ready to be shed. He didn’t even know what he might be walking into. He pushed the door open and saw what he’d feared, Allura was collapsed on the floor, her shoulders shaking violently in her grief.

“A-Allura.” Lance managed to croak out, it sounded like he hadn’t spoken in years, she turned, her tears pouring endlessly. She reached to him like a child reaching to be picked up by their parent. Lance rushed over to her and knelt beside her, gathering her in his arms as her whole body wracked violently with her sobbing, she was trying to collect herself, to say something.

“L-Lance,” She bawled, her voice was defeated, but she carried on. “My… father, he went missing in action.” Lance all but collapsed with her in his arms, but he kept himself strong. He couldn’t think about Keith right now.

“Allura…” Lance breathed, pulling her in tighter, her tears were pouring onto his shirt but he couldn’t have cared less in that moment.

“They haven’t found his b-body yet-“ Allura pushed out. “B-but they’re almost certain he’s… dead.”

Lance desperately wanted to stay strong, but hearing her say that word, it decimated his heart, he let out a gut-wrenching sob and broke down along with her. Lance kept looking at his phone which was laid on the floor beside him. Like Allura said no news was good news.

They stayed like that for hours, with Lance trying to quell his tears and stroke Allura’s head. Allura was an orphan now, but she had him, she had Shiro, she had Pidge and Hunk and Lance was happy that although he didn't have the right words for her, he knew that he'd always be there for her. Shiro had sent Pidge and Hunk home and shut the coffee shop, he was sat alongside them, he could sympathise too, he had lost both of his parents, but for Allura, Lance was her best friend, the person who understood what it was like to have someone be so far away. Lance was also someone who had spent time with Alfor and appreciated him more than words could say for essentially saving his life.

Eventually, Allura wore herself out, and fell asleep in Lance’s arms, Shiro and Lance exchanged a look and Shiro carried her to bed. He gave Lance an all-consuming hug, promising that he’d keep his phone close too, Shiro was listed as Keith’s next of kin as well as Lance. Shiro wanted to walk Lance home but Lance didn’t want Allura to suddenly wake up and be alone.  
The air was cold and the stars were out. The stars on earth weren’t as breath-taking as where Altea and Arus were, He could see Corvus shining brightly, his heart broke again, even though this crow represented the fetching of water, he couldn’t help but think about what crows also represented; death. The stars used to be so beautiful, and now they were filled with darkness.

Suddenly, about 5 minutes away from home, Lance’s phone began ringing, his stomach dropped when he saw it was Shiro, and he was already running back to the coffee shop before he answered.

“Shiro?!”

Shiro's panicked voice came through the reciever.

“Lance, come back, its Keith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you wish to read an alternative (angsty) turn of events read from here ~  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/11728023/chapters/26423424
> 
> if it makes you feel better, my heart broke writing this.  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder  
> and to anyone who might be wondering, the song was 'cant help falling in love with you' by Elvis Presley  
> also, Hanzo the bonsai is my real-life plant who i adore as much as Lance does.  
> Also these dates are based on 2020 to 2021, the timings all ended up being perfect


	20. Moon Rock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Get out of your own head.” Coran continued, not breaking eye contact with Lance.
> 
> “C-can you read my mind or something?” Lance whimpered, trying to sound jovial.
> 
> “No, but I’ve been where you are right now.” Coran shut his eyes. “I’ve been in the same position as you, questioning my choices. And I want you to know, that even though I’ve buried my greatest and oldest friend today, the person I graduated with, the person I got recruited to the galaxy garrison with, the person I went through so many things with. I will go back to my place in the stars without a single regret.”

Keith still wasn’t entirely sure how it all happened, an unexpected ambush of sorts? All he could remember was that one second he was fast asleep dreaming of the colour purple and the next, he was wide awake, in the cockpit, his lungs worn out from yelling so loudly, explosions and gun fire all around him, he could hear voices coming through his comms. They’d been over this a million times, they had strategy, they had protocol but in this instance, none of that seemed to matter. Keith was trying to focus on what he had to do, but all he could think about was Lance. His mind was racing, thinking ‘I can’t leave him, I can’t leave him.’ Like him repeating that phrase in his head was going to make any shred of difference. He could hear Alfor’s familiar voice requesting assistance and then… there was silence. It was over. One of their ships had exploded and set off a chain reaction, causing the enemy ships to explode one by one, and there were none left. It seemed like Keith was the only one still out there, he hadn’t even noticed that part of his ship had been destroyed, a huge gaping hole into space, he was breathing heavily. He noticed he was unusually warm, he looked down and saw only dark and wet, and then he passed out.

Lance was slamming on the door to the coffee shop, trying to get Shiro’s attention. Shiro suddenly appeared at the door and threw it open.

“Lance! He’s fine! He’s alive!” Shiro cried as Lance practically fell through the glass door. Lance was breathing heavily, his heart racing violently. “He’s just… in a medically induced coma of sorts. He’s all in one piece.”

“He’s okay?” Lance sighed, his heart slowing a little bit. But knowing he was still alive didn’t make him feel much better, Keith was still injured. He knew that he should be thrilled that Keith was okay, but he was still up there, far away from Lance.

“Yes, he’s okay, he just took some damage to his abdomen, he nearly bled out.” Shiro sighed, his own heart slowly coming back to a normal pace. This information wasn’t helping Lance, if anything it only highlighted how close he was to losing Keith.

Lance took a deep breath and sat at one of the tables, trying to collect his thoughts, rationalise everything, not that this could be rationalised easily. He should be happy, compared to Allura he was pretty golden really, which sounded hideously insensitive and he’d never say it out loud. Shiro made them both a tea, and just sat in silence. Lance knew he should probably go home and rest but, the adrenaline coursing through his veins would not allow rest this evening.

“Shiro, I don’t think I can go home,” Lance’s voice was weak, he looked up and Shiro looked understanding, he simply nodded his head and lead Lance up the stairs to his apartment. Shiro made him a kind of nest on the sofa, if Lance wasn’t going to sleep then at least he should be comfortable and warm. Shiro collapsed on the sofa next to him, thoroughly worn out but feeling a similar way to Lance, just… too het up to even think about sleeping.

“How long did Keith live with you?” Lance’s voice was shaky, but he just wanted to fill the tense silence in the room, Shiro looked a little surprised at the question.

“I uh, he was with us for about six years give or take?” Shiro had to think about it. “He came to us when he was eleven, he was in a really bad place. I think his time with us was the longest he’d ever spent in one place.”

“He’s never really talked about his childhood…” Lance sighed, cupping the tea that Shiro had made him, he was starting to feel cold in his bones.

“We never actually found out what happened to his parents,” Shiro continued. “My parents insisted that they give us information, but they just… said they couldn’t, I thought it would put my parents off but it ended up just making them more determined to give him a chance at a better life.”

“That’s nice to hear.” Lance yawned, taking a sip of tea. “What did you think of him when he arrived?”

“Oh, I was… thirteen at the time, I think,” Shiro laughed. Shaking his head. “So I was a grumpy teenager, so as far as I was concerned, my parents brought him into my house to torture me, like they’d done it on purpose. He was awful.”

“Oh man, that’s a tough age for both of you.”

“You’re telling me.” Shiro was smiling fondly though. “I can still remember the day they dropped him off at the door step, he had nothing. He only had the clothes on his back and a mobile phone that my parents assumed he’d stolen.”

“I can picture it actually.” Lance smiled at the thought of a messy-haired, dirty little ragamuffin. Wearing a ripped jacket and dirty biker gloves, something he still had an affinity for.

“He ran away the first night he stayed.” Shiro shook his head. “My parents put him to bed, in his own bedroom, might I add, and in the night he tried to run away.”

“Why am I not surprised.”

“It was lucky that the neighbours were aware of the situation, one of them heard something in their backyard and managed to stop him.”

“I was so mad with him.” Shiro frowned a little at this, as though reliving it. “I was so angry that he’d taken my parents good will and just thrown it back in their faces. They’d given him a room, food and clothing and he… just fucked off, I was so angry, and I let him know. I yelled at him.”

“To be fair, I think I would have done the same.” Lance smirked, he could picture an angry young Shiro yelling at a pouting dirty Keith.

“My mom was so mad with me, for yelling at him,” Shiro rubbed his face, the exhaustion starting to hit him. “But… it did something, Keith didn’t try and run away again. He fought and pouted and shouted and spat but he never ran away.”

“Must have gotten through to him,”

“To be honest, I didn’t notice at the time. It wasn’t until we discovered we had a mutual love of space, that I even started to talk to him really,” Shiro said. “I was sat in my room, he wandered in without knocking, and I turned around ready to yell at him. I think he was… 12 at the time and I was 14. Anyway, he was staring up at the poster I had on the wall, he’d not really been in my room before and he just looked like he was in awe. When I realised what he was looking at, I immediately softened. I was 14, so I thought I knew everything, so I decided to sit him down and tell him all about space.”

Lance smiled brightly picturing that.

“I’d been on a school trip to the space museum a week before that,” Shiro continued, gazing down at his hands. “He just sat and listened, and looked at me with so much admiration, and I had never seen such softness in his eyes before, it almost made me cry. But I was a teenager and way too cool for all that, but we talked and talked about space for hours, I showed him the constellations on my computer. For his birthday I got him some glow in the dark star stickers, and we spent a whole weekend mapping out the constellations on his ceiling. He looked near tears. He started smiling all the time from his thirteenth birthday.”

Lance could see it, in his head, it made his heart hurt a little, he was suddenly very grateful for Shiro being such an educator from a young age.

“But, when he started high school, he really struggled,” Shiro’s smile faltered. “So, every weekend we’d play video games and learn more about space. We had special tickets for the space museum and we’d go there all the time, one time, the space museum had some guest pilots from the garrison come and give a talk, and we were both in awe, and that was what we set our minds on. Keith just worked his butt off at school, ignored all the bullies and the other students and just worked really hard to get the grades he needed. I did the same, he was so jealous when I went off for college, so much so that he actually moved across state when he graduated high school, which, is where he met Hunk.”

Lance sighed, so Keith had been jealous of someone at some point.

“And then, my parents died, I graduated early and dropped out of my teacher training to come and take over the coffee shop, for them it was a really recent venture,” Shiro sighed, dusting some coffee grounds off his shirt. “Ever since Keith left, my mom told me to try and make things right, to always protect him no matter what, so when the call came in and Keith was having to transfer colleges, that’s when he came and moved in with me. He never mentioned my parents, I think he felt terrible about the whole thing to be honest. And then he met you.”

Shiro looked up and Lance was fast asleep, luckily the teacup he was holding was empty, else that would have been some nasty scalds. Shiro took the cup and ruffled Lance’s hair. It felt nice to finally tell someone a small part of Keith’s story, even if it had sent Lance to sleep. Shiro couldn’t help but feel a little smug, he hoped that some of what he’d done with Keith was what made him the kind and thoughtful, albeit a little rude and stand-offish at times, person that he was today.

Shiro put the cups in the sink and retreated to his room, Allura was peacefully sleeping, so he slid in next to her and pulled her head onto his chest, he stroked her face, gazing down at her, he knew in that moment that he would never ever leave her. He couldn’t let another person leave her behind, maybe he’d finally get to be the professor he’d always wanted to be. Besides, he was only a temporary replacement for Keith anyhow. Shiro bent down to place a kiss on Allura’s head and settled into a fitful sleep.

 

Lance awoke with a start, his heart racing, he was all wrapped up in blankets and definitely not in his bed, he could hear crashing around in the kitchen behind him, he spun and saw Shiro cooking breakfast in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. Usually Lance would have stared shamelessly but instead he got up and looked for Allura, who was sat up in bed, staring vacantly at her hands.

“Allura?”

She looked up, and a smile dared to reach her lips, she beckoned him over to the bed and he clambered in with her. He leant his upper body against the head board and she nestled into him. He ran his fingers through her soft hair soothingly.

“Are you okay?” Lance finally spoke, Allura nodded into his chest, “Good.”

They stayed like that for almost the entire day, talking quietly back and forth, Shiro came and went with cups of tea and food for them with kisses on their foreheads, like Shiro knew that they just needed to decompress together, just letting the pain be felt.

“Lance,” Allura’s voice was strong all of a sudden, she sat up and turned to face him, taking his hands, he’d not really looked at her face all day, she looked exhausted, but just as beautiful as ever. “I want you to know something,”

“Okay…” Lance was a little caught off guard by her sudden change in tone.

“I want you to know that, I don’t resent you, or Keith,” She breathed, Lance was confused but just let her talk, she obviously just needed to get it out. “My father, he suffered really badly with survivor’s guilt after watching his friends die in battle. He had to attend those funerals, speak to those families, all while being one of the only people that survived. It’s really tough, nothing can compare to the pain that someone feels with losing someone, but he really did suffer, he felt awful, he kept asking why it was him and not someone more deserving that survived.”

“Allura, I-“

“So, I want you to know that I will never resent either of you.” Allura smiled, softly. “I will never ever resent you. Keith is basically my brother in law, I love him just as much as any of you, and I am so happy that he’s okay.”

“Allura, I never even thought that you might resent either of us,” Lance smiled, squeezing her hands.

“Good,” Allura’s smiled faltered for a second. “I never asked you what you thought of my father,”

“I really liked him,” Lance laughed, thinking about the short time that he knew him. “I’d have liked to have gotten to know him better, Keith thought the world of him, I know that much.”

“They’re very similar, all honourable and brave.”

“Yeah, Alfor was like a wise, old, grey Keith. I promised him that if I married Keith I’d let him be my best man.”

Allura giggled, it was the sweetest thing Lance had heard all day.

“Well, if you want, I could be your best woman,” She finally let go of Lance’s hand and took a sip of her tea. “I feel like I have what it takes!”

“Deal, but only if I get to be your man of honour!”

“That’s a promise.”

 

It took a couple of weeks for the funeral to come around, Allura took up the challenge valiantly, and it was all sorted within a couple of days but they had to wait for the people wanting to attend the funeral to get leave at the same time, when things like this happened they made exceptions, but everyone was on call and had to disappear quickly if the situation called for it.  
Lance hadn’t heard from Keith, but had been getting regular updates from Shiro, even though Lance was Keith’s ‘husband’ Shiro was still listed as his first contact. And Lance was happy for Shiro to have that, after hearing about their childhood together he felt like it was only right. The college had kindly allowed an extension on their exams on goodwill, allowing them some time for things to settle down before they had to be ready for the following year.

The day of the funeral was there, and Lance was sat in Shiro and Allura’s apartment, dressed in black, staring down at his name badge from his time at the space station, he felt like it was a bizarre connection he had to Alfor, since he was the one to come up with the idea of Lance and Keith’s marriage. He slipped it into his pocket as Shiro and Allura entered the room, Shiro was holding her hand tightly and Allura was biting her lip, her cheeks already pink in anticipation for the tears. She wore a long, beautiful black dress, she saw Lance’s eyes glance down at it and she spun around goofily.

“It’s the same one I wore to my mothers’ funeral,” Allura beamed. “Except obviously… not a child’s size.”

“You look beautiful,” Lance said. Allura’s smile dropped when they heard a knock at the door, it was time to go.

Lance had heard the term pathetic fallacy many times during high school, but had never seen it in action before, until today. The sky was a deep dark grey, and the rain poured endlessly. It was a miserable day outside, and it was… kind of cathartic, to have the weather sympathise with you. Lance put up an umbrella he’d found that morning and held it over the three of them, a man in a black suit and sunglasses lead them to a black car with tinted windows. Lance let Shiro and Allura climb into the car before him, and the car drove to pick up Hunk and Pidge, who were also dressed in black suits.

“Pidge, you look so good in a suit!” Allura blurted out, Pidge laughed and flushed a little. “I would have worn a suit too, but… I wanted to wear something that reminded me of my mother.”

No one really knew what to say to that, so they all stayed silent. They were driving to a special cemetery, reserved for those in the Galaxy Garrison, Lance considered the fact that he’d probably be spending a lot of time here in the future, and his stomach cramped at the thought. He glanced at Allura’s who’s eyes were already starting to water, she was an orphan now… she was without family. Could Lance really do that to his mother?

Lance tried not to think about it, it was going to be emotional enough without questioning all his life decisions at the same time. As they exited the car, they were met with the sight of what appeared to be thousands of people, all dressed in various different dress uniforms, all holding umbrellas and watching Allura exit the car. He should have expected nothing less for someone like Alfor. Allura stumbled a little when Coran came to meet her, he reached out and took her hand and lead her to the front of the procession.

Alfor had asked for a quieter funeral than the usual military funeral, so Allura and Coran walked ahead of a group of officers, simply carrying the casket to the burial site, Pidge, Hunk, Shiro and Lance walked to the group of people waiting and stood, Lance couldn’t help but glance around, desperately searching for Keith’s face amongst the crowd. He knew that he probably wouldn’t be there, but it didn’t hurt to at least look.

Allura took her place next to Shiro as Coran went up to speak for her. She grabbed Shiro’s hand tightly and buried her face into his chest, almost trying to hide from what it was she was witnessing. They all felt useless, standing there and listening.

Lance was trying so hard not to think of it, but as he watched Allura all but collapse with grief once more into Shiro’s arms, he couldn’t help but picture his mother there. He couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like for her and his siblings to bury him, his heart started racing, he was being so selfish. This wasn’t about him, this wasn’t about him and all the regretful life choices he had made and would be making. He was being so selfish choosing a life like his dad had, a life that meant his life hung in the balance constantly for his family. He was being so selfish even worrying about this stuff at the funeral of one of his best friends fathers.

He was selfish for thinking that maybe he’d be in Allura’s place, burying Keith one day. He grabbed onto Hunk’s arm, trying not to hyperventilate, why was he making this about him?! This wasn’t about him, none of it was about him, Hunk kept telling him to breath and Pidge was wiping away his tears. He couldn’t make a scene, not at someone else’s funeral. He was being ridiculous, this wasn’t about him! Hunk had a strong, reassuring arm around him and Pidge was quietly saying ‘you’re okay’, he was thankful that everyone was listening to Coran, rather than watching Lance have a self-centred meltdown.

The rain continued to pour and Lance’s heartrate had begun to slow, he thought about Keith, who was probably still up in the stars, still in pain, probably cursing himself that he couldn’t be there, and Lance was and he had to be strong, slowly he begun to hear Coran’s words again, and he concentrated on the lilt of Coran’s accent, rather than the words he was saying. Before he knew it, the funeral was over, they stood at the graveside and waited for Allura, who was being hugged by every single member of congregation, they stood silently, not really knowing what to say to one another. Lance was just desperately wishing that he could take Keith away from all this. He just wanted Keith home, in his arms, away from harm. A couple of minutes later Allura was there, looking exhausted again.

“Let’s go,” She spoke softly. They climbed back into the car, with Coran in tow and drove silently back to the coffee shop, where Shiro made coffee and everyone sat in a strange, morbid silence.

Allura finally started talking, almost like a nervous babbling, Lance didn’t really know because he couldn’t physically pay attention, he was staring vacantly out the window, watching the rain hit the glass. Suddenly Coran was there, his hand firmly on Lance’s shoulder.

“Stop.” Coran’s voice was softer than his grip.

“W-what?” Lance stammered.

“Get out of your own head.” Coran continued, not breaking eye contact with Lance.

“C-can you read my mind or something?” Lance whimpered, trying to sound jovial.

“No, but I’ve been where you are right now.” Coran shut his eyes. “I’ve been in the same position as you, questioning my choices. And I want you to know, that even though I’ve buried my greatest and oldest friend today, the person I graduated with, the person I got recruited to the galaxy garrison with, the person I went through so many things with. I will go back to my place in the stars without a single regret.”

Lance was a little dumb struck at this sudden admission. But how? And why? Was it really worth it? To watch everyone around you die, it seemed almost heartless of Coran to say. Lance just nodded, not really knowing how to respond to that.

Lance just let the rest of their ‘celebrations’ pass him by, as Coran regaled them with stories of Alfor, mostly abridged because of security reasons, and all he could think of was Keith, alone and in pain up amongst those god-forsaken stars. And how he could do nothing whilst he was down here, he couldn’t even talk to him, couldn’t see him and it was killing him.

Everything that Lance thought he knew was suddenly different, everything he thought he was so certain of was suddenly flipped and changed and he hated it.  
When everything was fresh and new they seemed almost invincible, and suddenly Lance realised how vulnerable Keith really was, and Lance couldn’t do anything about it, he could only hope that the stars were in their favour.

 

Jun 27. 1:13pm

Keith_ Hey

Keith attached a picture of his healing wounds, he felt weak and pathetic still laid up in bed. He was slowly gaining strength, he wanted to be up and about sooner rather than later, so he just allowed Coran to tell him what to do.

Lance_ I can’t. Look at that.

Keith_ I’m sorry, I should have asked first really.

Lance_ No, I’m sorry, I just… I’m not coping as well as I thought I would.

Keith_ There’s no right way to cope with these things.

Lance_ I just… I worry about you all the time. You’re so far away and there’s nothing I can do. It’s killing me.

Keith_ I know, I’m okay, I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for the funeral. I was desperate to be there.

Lance_ It was awful.

Keith_ I can only imagine.

Lance_ I have to go, I’m sorry. I love you.

Keith_ I love you.

 

Lance’s birthday crept up on him. The summer days had just bled into each other, he, Hunk and Pidge were desperately trying to study, but… just couldn’t concentrate. The morning of his birthday he just decided to stay in bed all day, feeling sorry for himself. What was there to celebrate really?

There was a knock at his door, and he debated whether or not to pretend to be asleep. He wasn’t given the choice as the door flew open anyway. Pidge and Hunk grinning tentatively with small cards and gifts for him.

“Happy birthday!” They both said in quiet unison, Lance tried to smile, but he failed. He pulled himself up and leant against the headboard. They came and sat on the bed with him and gave him their gifts. Hunk had bought him some Bonsai food and Pidge had bought him a little personalised sign to put into Hanzo’s soil that read ‘Hanzo Kogane’. They were simple gifts but almost bought Lance to tears. Lance made sure he got up every day to sing and talk to Hanzo, who had been repotted twice since it was growing so well, at least he could look after something.

“Thanks guys, that’s… really sweet.” He finally clawed himself out of bed to push the little sign into the soil. He put the Bonsai food on the windowsill next to Hanzo and stared out of the window. It was a beautiful sunny day. Lance was expecting to have heard from his mother, but she hadn’t called him all summer. Which was probably for the best since he’d probably break down on the phone to her, but it hurt all the same.

“Alright, so we’re taking you out! So jump in the shower and let’s go!” Hunk clapped his hands together with finality. Lance didn’t even bother to argue with him, and didn’t bother to wait till they were out of the room to start pulling his clothes off limply. Rather than teasing him, they left the room quietly, surprised but happy they didn’t have to argue with him.

Lance couldn’t honestly remember the last time he showered, and it was a bit like he’d totally forgotten how to, he let the hot water wash over him, and just stood there, staring at the white tiles opposite him. He slowly scrubbed some shampoo into his hair and exited the shower, not really feeling much cleaner than when he went in, but he was happy that his hair looked better.  
He pulled on some clothes and his shoes and let Hunk and Pidge drag him out of the house, they seemed to have a strange sense of urgency but he didn’t really care to think about it. They walked through the quad, the burning sunshine beating down on them, Pidge was complaining about the heat.

“Let’s go get ice-cream!” Pidge suggested, they re-directed Lance’s zombie-like body and walked towards the ice-cream truck, the same ice-cream truck where Keith broke Lance’s heart. Lance sucked in a deep breath and pretended he wasn’t bothered by it. Pidge bought all three of them a rocket-ship ice-lolly. Lance couldn’t help but glance at his phone, trying not to be hurt by the lack of communication from both his mom and Keith. He ate his ice lolly without really noticing Pidge and Hunk chattering around him.

They walked a little ways up and Lance noticed the spot that he’d knocked Keith’s ice-lolly out of his hand. Lance didn’t know what he expected, for there to be a lolly stick laid on the ground? A bright red stain where the ice had melted? But even if there had been, it had all been washed away, like it had never happened. Lance collapsed onto the bench where he’d told Keith to stop being a coward. Hunk and Pidge were glancing at each other, confused. Lance felt like he wanted to cry, but he couldn’t, no tears came, just a strange kind of numbness on his cheeks.

“Hey, let’s got to the coffee shop and get some caffeine in you.” Hunk quietly suggested, Lance’s head shot up, he hated to admit it to himself, but he hadn’t seen Shiro and Allura since Alfor’s funeral. Allura had done nothing but reassure him, but Lance wasn’t sure if he believed her. He knew he, deep inside, would have a kind of a resentment for Allura if it were the other way around, she was only human after all. He was a little bit terrified to see her, especially after all this time.

“I-I don’t know if I can face Allura.” Lance finally admitted. Every single time they had come inviting him to the coffee shop, he made excuses why he couldn’t come, he’d ran out of excuses, or he was a little too numb to think of one right now.

“Lance, you know she doesn’t hate you!” Hunk tried to sound reassuring, but Lance could hear the impatience in his voice.

“She misses you so much, she’s always asking where you are.” Pidge, reached out and held Lance’s shoulder, as if the touch would reassure him. “She’s scared that she’s lost you.”

Lance didn’t want Allura to feel like that. He sat and thought for a few minutes, he didn’t know how he was going to face her, but he was at least going to try, just so she knew that she’d never lose him.

They arrived at the coffee shop, and it was like they were anticipating his arrival, the shop was mostly empty save for a couple of customers, but the table by the window had been decorated a little bit. As they pushed the door open, Allura and Shiro raced round the counter and gathered Lance up in a big bear hug.

“Happy birthday!” They both said in unison, everyone was strangely in sync today. They moved over to the weakly decorated table in the window and sat Lance down, Allura presented a perfectly wrapped gift and Shiro presented a deep purple cake, with tiny little icing stars all over it. Lance smiled fully for the first time that day.

He opened Allura’s gift, anxiety nibbling away at him as he anticipated the contents. Inside the wrapping was a box, and inside the box, was a framed photo. The photo Allura had chosen, was the photo of Keith and Alfor, both pointing to their scars and looking carefree and happy. Lance had forgotten about that photo, and the fact that Allura still had every single photo in her possession. The memory hit him like a tonne of bricks. Back when everything felt so safe and sure. Lance was hit by a train of emotion and he pulled Allura into a rib-crushing hug, grateful that he felt something other than numb, even if it was crushing sadness.

“I love it, thank you.” Lance breathed, he still couldn’t feel any tears coming, but Allura looked thrilled with his reaction nonetheless.

Lance hadn’t noticed all afternoon that Pidge was constantly checking her phone, he was too busy catching up with Allura and eating delicious home-made constellation cake. He was laughing carelessly when Pidge suddenly leapt up and gathered up his cake and gifts.

“C’mon, let’s get you to bed!” She said suddenly. No one except Lance protested.

“B-but I’m having fun,” He whined unhappily. Pidge shook her head and gestured to his face.

“You look exhausted, you’ve done enough for today, let’s go!” Hunk interjected, backing her up, Lance decided he _was_ too exhausted to argue, so let them drag him away, it was late afternoon and the sun was still bright.

When they entered the apartment Pidge took his cake, gave him his gift and sent him to bed like a bad child. Lance was staring down at the photo in his hands as he entered the room and it was a solid two minutes before he noticed someone else was in the room already. He looked up and swore he was seeing things, because there was no way Keith was actually stood there, holding peonies and a present in his hand.

Lance decided he had gone completely insane, dropped the photo and fell against the bedroom door and slid to the floor, waiting for the mirage of Keith to disappear.

“Lance?” Keith was suddenly next to him, touching his forehead, checking him over. Keith looked the same, his hair was growing out, he was wearing a black shirt and jeans with casual trainers. He looked beautiful, it wasn’t until he spotted the scars along his chin and neck that he realised this was actually Keith.

“Keith?” Lance spoke finally, Keith smiled and nodded. Lance pulled him into a tight hug. Keith was there, he was real, he was solid and he was safe and warm.

“Happy birthday,” Keith whispered against Lance’s neck.

“How are you here?” Lance whimpered. “Why are you here?”

“What do you mean, it’s your birthday!” Keith pulled back and looked at Lance. “After I made a full recovery, they granted me some leave, and it happened to be the perfect timing for your birthday!”

“That explains why Hunk and Pidge dragged me out of bed.” Lance breathed. Keith nodded and helped Lance up.

“So, here I am.” Keith smiled. “All in one piece. You’re not a widower yet.”

Lance surprised himself with his laughter. Keith grinned, he’d missed that laugh.

“How long are you here for?”

“I’m here for a couple of weeks,” Keith still smiling. “So, I decided to take you home for a bit, see your mom, see the kids, I’ll get to meet Alyssa, you can teach me how to surf?”

Lance finally felt like he could cry, because it all sounded so perfect. Lance was still not entirely convinced this wasn’t all in his head. Lance nodded, if it were his imagination he’d just accept it.

“I did think we could leave tonight,” Keith looked around the room. “But you look too exhausted, so… let’s pack up all your stuff, sleep here for tonight and then leave early tomorrow, okay?”

Lance nodded. He was so amazed, he felt like it really should be the other way around. Keith was there after all, he was the one who witnessed everything, the one who was in a medically induced coma, and yet here he was, taking care of Lance. Lance wanted to feel pathetic but he couldn’t, he was just so happy that Keith was here, in one piece and willing to look after Lance.

“I love you.” Lance said. They’d said it a million times before, over text, but never really face to face. They’d never looked each other in the eyes and said it before, it felt weighty, and heavily meaningful. Keith looked like he’d been hit by the weight of it, he reached out to cup Lance’s face, smiling happily.

“I love you too.”

 

They’d finally finished packing, all of Lance’s clothes folded neatly. Lance couldn’t even pretend that he’d helped, it was all Keith. Lance finally remembered that he’d dropped Allura’s birthday present for him.

“Hey, Keith.” Lance groaned from the bed where he’d been laying all the while Keith packed. “That photo frame, Allura gave it to me, but I think it’d be better if you had it.”

Keith glanced around and finally noticed it, he picked it up tentatively and flipped it round, stopping still at the photo on the other side.

“Wow, I… I can’t believe you kept this photo.” Keith breathed, his eyes starting to water at the photo of him and Alfor. “I had to delete every single one… and you kept this one…”

“Keith, I kept every single photo you sent me.” Lance laughed, incredulously. “I used to have a constellation of Keith’s on this very wall.” Lance stroked the wall behind him and it was Keith’s turn to be overcome with emotion. “I had to take them all down and give them to Allura when I was having my security clearance. I adored every single one. Taking them down was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”

Lance could hear Keith sniffling, so he took the photo frame and laid it on his bag.

“Sing with me?” Lance asked, gesturing to Hanzo, who was sat in the window his leaves bright and green. Keith glanced over, his cheeks tinging pink, trying not to be embarrassed.

“Sing what?” Keith stammered.

“Our wedding song of course.” Lance’s heart soared just saying it.

“Okay, but… first…” Keith smiled. “Open your birthday present.” He handed Lance a wrapped box. He ripped open the paper and the box and was presented with a glowing blue rock.

“It’s a moon rock,” Keith laughed at Lance’s expression of sheer disbelief. “It’s cosmic dust, the stuff that you and me and everything in the universe is made up of. But it’s from space, so it’s pretty cool.”

“I love it!” Lance squealed, handling it with desperate care, which Keith couldn’t have been more grateful for. Lance cradled it in his hands and put it on the windowsill next to Hanzo, Keith was watching him. Lance reached out his hand to Keith to come and join him.

Lance started singing, Keith had heard him sing before, and didn’t think it was anything special, but hearing him sing that song, he sounded beautiful, Lance opened his eyes, encouraging Keith to sing along, he did. Keith had never thought much of his voice, but they sounded pretty amazing together. They finished the song and climbed into bed, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

 

The next morning they climbed into Keith’s car and started the drive to Lance’s moms. They were quietly content the entire way, the sun was beating down brightly, Lance slept for most of the way, till they pulled into a service station. Keith leant down and kissed him lightly to wake him up.

“I’m gonna get some gas, can you grab some drinks?” Keith asked, Lance nodded and climbed out of the car, the gas station was bizarrely familiar. He pushed open the doors and finally realised why he recognized it when he spotted a familiar blonde guy behind the cash register, who glanced up as Lance entered and beamed. Had Keith done this on purpose? Lance chuckled a little nervously, grabbed some water and chips and awkwardly approached the counter.

“Hey, long time no see,” The guy stared, Lance could just about remember his name, it was something weird, Lance thought of Lotion when he looked at him.

“Hah, yeah… I’m not really from round here. I’m amazed you remembered me” Lance smiled, or was it something like Lotus?

“Ah, that explains why I never heard from you,” He laughed. Or was it something like lactose? Low torso?

“Yeah, sorry… I’m dating someone now.” Lance laughed awkwardly, kind of liking how that sounded.

“Oh yeah, was it the guy with the mullet you were here with last time?” The guy asked, cashing up Lance’s items. He still couldn’t put his finger on this guy’s name, something like locus or lettuce?

“That’s me,” Keith suddenly appeared from behind, he gestured to the number above their car and paid for the gas and drinks. As they left Keith scoffed. “What kind of a name is Lotor anyway?”

 

They were a couple more hours into the drive, Lance took a sip of his water and turned in the seat, leaning against the door, letting it rattle against his back. He just gazed at Keith, this handsome, confident, black-haired beauty was all his. Keith glanced round, noticing Lance’s eyes on him.

“W-what?” Keith laughed, a little nervous under Lance’s scrutiny.

“Is it really worth it?” Lance hadn’t meant to ask that. But now that it was out, he decided just to run with it.

“Is what really worth it?” Keith just looked confused, the window was open and whipping through his hair, he looked like a model.

“Being up there, in the garrison, is it really worth it?” Lance sighed, taking another sip of water. “I mean, after… all thats happened, you’re still willing to go back?”

Keith took a deep breath, planning out what he was going to say meticulously. Even to him it was strange, so to have to explain it to someone who didn’t understand yet, was difficult.

“I know that, what happened was awful,” Keith started. “And… I will relive that moment in my dreams for the rest of my life, I will remember that pain, that… agony, forever. But… after all of the things that I’ve done… all of the things that I’ve seen. It’s so worth it. It’s… so difficult to explain, you’ll understand when you’re there. I know it sounds insensitive, or heartless even, but it’s like death is just a nasty side-effect of this crazy addiction. I just know that… with everything I’ve been through already, if I died in battle, I would die happy.”

 

Lance’s mother’s was just as Keith remembered it. The kids piled on him as they arrived, so happy to see him, the younger kids poked inquisitively at Keith’s scars. Sofia hugged him with a force so strong, Keith was certain he’d popped a stitch, but was too happy and polite to say anything, till blood started staining his shirt.

After Keith patched himself up, they had a long, emotional catch up, chatting and drinking coffee and laughing. Keith was so happy, he forgot how happy being here made him. He helped Sofia make dinner, all the while she told him stories about how she met Lance’s father, and it all seemed like a crazy parallel to his and Lance’s relationship, except Lance was coming to join him in space.

Keith fell asleep with his head on Lance’s bare chest, it felt so different to how they’d spent nights here together not two years ago Keith was solid in his belief that Lance smelt just like home.

Keith had taken his shirt off for the first time in front of Lance and wasn’t sure how Lance would react, who just kind of stared, and then approached. He asked permission before he ran his fingers over the stitches, the only way that Lance could describe them were that they were ‘crazy space stiches’ Keith laughed and said that was in fact the technical term. Lance was just astounded that Keith could fit them himself after his mom ripped one out with her expression of love.

They woke up easily the next day, gazing at each other and Keith couldn’t help himself, crashing his lips against Lance’s, realizing that they hadn’t actually kissed each other yet. Lance reciprocated with the same ferocity, but pulled away and started scrabbling for something on his bedside. Keith almost left the room as Lance pulled on his puka shell necklace and waggled his eyebrows, but Lance quickly distracted him by peppering kisses all down his neck, Lance stuck out his tongue and rang it all the way up the side of Keith’s neck.

“Remember what I said about devouring?” Lance’s breath was hot against his neck.

“Fuck.” Was all that Keith could muster.

 

Keith drove them to the beach, Lance’s mom had loaded two freshly waxed surf boards into the back, and Keith had spent the entire morning trying to cover up the gigantic hickey that Lance had left on Keith’s neck. Which also meant that Keith was going to spent the entire day learning to surf with his shirt still on as well, Lance had been true to his word, but it meant that Keith now had marks all over the top of his chest, Lance was a little gentler when it came to the healing wounds on Keith’s abdomen.

Watching Keith trying to cover up the marks in front of Sofia had made Lance chuckle literally all morning, like Sofia cared at all, which she didn’t. She was just happy to see Lance and Keith finally sort it out.

They pulled up at the beach, grabbing the boards out of the back of the car, they stood at the edge of the beach, it was the middle of the week so it was quiet, which Keith was grateful for, because this was sure to be embarrassing.

“Surf’s up!” Lance yelled, running towards the beach.

“NO MORE CHEESY SURFER LINES!” Keith screamed, running after him.

“No! Surf’s up, that means the sea is just right for surfing!” Lance laughed, he threw down his towel and bag. He turned to look at Keith, he couldn’t wait to see the sun bring out his freckles, this time he could kiss every single one like he’d wanted to.

“Think I’ll be okay taking my shirt off?” Keith asked. Lance nodded, Keith pulled his shirt off and Lance stared at the healing wounds.

“Hey… do you think those will be okay in the sea?” Lance awkwardly pointed to the stitches.

“Oh yeah, of course!” Keith laughed. “Like you said, these are ‘crazy space stitches’ if they’re done correctly, nothings getting in or out… unless someone with unexpected strength gives you the most aggressive hug of your entire life… apparently.”

“As long as you’re sure!” Lance smiled, he grabbed his surf board and tucked it under his arm, gesturing for Keith do the same. They laid the surfboards on the ground and Lance gestured for Keith to copy his movements. Lance laid on his surfboard on his stomach.

“Okay, so… you’re gonna start by paddling, to reach the waves, so you wanna be lined up perfectly straight down the middle of the board.” Lance started, Keith did the same, lying on his stomach. “Ok, practise paddling.” Keith flailed his arms in the sand, Lance scoffed a little but continued.

“Okay, now we’re gonna practise getting up to actually ride the wave.” Lance laughed. “So bring your hands to lift up underneath your chest, you need to be quick about this, palms flat, fingers curled round the edge of the board, now quickly in one motion, push your body up and bring your feet up under you, place one foot where your hand was and the other a shoulders width behind you.” Lance demonstrated and Keith did the same. Why was Lance surprised, of course Keith caught on quickly.

“So, knee’s bent, eyes forward, feet planted and leaning towards your centre of gravity.” Lance grinned at Keith, who noticed his right foot was first. “Look at you with your goofy feet.”

“Huh?” Keith looked down, trying not to lose his balance.

“Nothing, nothing!” Lance chuckled. It felt so nice to just be here with Keith, it was like they were back in high school on summer break, no responsibilities to go back to.

“Now, we’re ready to get in the water! Practise paddling!” Lance jumped off his board, grabbed it and took off running.

 

Again, Lance didn’t know why he was surprised. OF COURSE Keith was a pro surfer the first time he did it, why did he expect anything less. He stood on the beach watching Keith ride the wave, his posture perfect, face determined, Lance was trying so hard to feign grumpiness, but Keith looked so hot. He understood why Keith had a thing for surfer dudes. The sun was beginning to set and Lance was getting hungry, he waved him in and Keith raced over breathless.

“HANG TEN MY DUDE!” Lance cried as he approached, Keith’s face fell and he walked away.

 

They drove back with sand in their hair, the sky was purple and they were laughing. Keith couldn’t believe how much he’d missed this. He found he’d gotten so wrapped up in his world up there, he forgot how amazing earth was down here. They got in and Lance and Keith made dinner together, sort of like a lesson exchange, it was so wholesome and sweet, and Sofia watched the whole time, cooing happily.

The next day, Keith finally met Alyssa, and they hit it off. Alyssa reminded Keith so much of Hunk, blunt, honest and caring. They spent the evening drinking and swapping stories.

The day after that Lance took Keith on a tour of his home town, to the local café, to the park and to his high school. Lance was constantly getting stopped by people on the street, people that knew him when he was growing up, to people from his high school, exchanging pleasantries, Keith had never said the words ‘nice to meet you’ and ‘yeah I really love it, thank you’ more in his entire life. They were both exhausted when they got home, they’d had lunch at the café and brought home a takeaway after playing like kids in the park for the afternoon.

The next week or so passed quicker than Lance would have liked, it felt like it was just getting closer and closer to the day that Keith had to go back, he daren’t let them sleep in a minute past 6 am, lest he miss a single moment with Keith before he left.

Every night before they fell asleep Lance would hold him tightly, breathing him in, knowing that it was getting closer and closer to a time that he’d have to fall asleep all alone.

This night just as Lance was falling asleep, Keith suddenly leapt out of bed.

“Lance, how do we get to the roof?!” Keith suddenly whisper-yelled.

“W-what? On the roof?” Lance whined, his eyes sleepy. Keith was so excited that Lance dragged himself out of bed and opened his bedroom window.

“Why the roof?” Lance asked, pulling himself slowly out of the window and gesturing him to follow.

“Because… I uh…” Keith was pink in the face, trying to get his words out. “Wanted to… uh make love???? To you under the stars?”

“Gross, don’t ever say that again.” Lance was suddenly very awake.

“YEAH I wanted to die as soon as I said it.” Keith laughed. They climbed up the roof tiles, at the very top of the house on top of Lance’s room there was one section of the roof that was flat, conveniently. Lance had forgotten all about it, it was somewhere liked to come with his telescope as a kid.

It was still warm out, and they laid down next to each other, Keith reached out and grabbed his hand, they gazed up at the stars, they twinkled brighter than ever, Lance was so glad to have grown up in the middle of nowhere, there was little to no light pollution out here, they could see almost every twinkling star. Lance loved it, but he still didn’t find it as beautiful as the ones he’d seen out there.

 

It was the night before they were due to leave, and three days before Keith was due to go back, they’d had dinner and drinks and fallen asleep in front of the TV. Keith was sat lazily against the corner of the sofa, Lance between his legs with his back against his chest, fast asleep, Sofia asleep in the chair beside him, all the kids who had been allowed to stay up late scattered around asleep on sofa cushions, Alyssa and Robert asleep holding hands on the floor with their backs against the sofa, and Keith was wide awake, surveying the scene. He glanced around and his eyes fell on something that made his heart soar.

In and amongst the various family photos, was a framed photo of him, throwing up a peace sign in his home made Christmas jumper. Keith was so close to tears, but didn’t want to wake everyone up with his bawling. He had a family. He always had a family, no matter where he was in life… he always had a family. But now, he had a family that cared about him like they did their blood relatives, he couldn’t believe his luck. When he imagined falling in love, he just imagined that, falling in love with a person, if he was lucky enough to fall in love at all. He didn’t realise that when that happened, you fell in love with their family, or maybe Keith was just lucky to have a family like Lance’s love him like they did.

He thought about it for a long time, and decided that this, was where he knew he could die happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i hurt you guys, hope you enjoyed the fluff!  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	21. Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They entered the Voltron exhibit and Lance felt something. He felt the familiar rush of shooting enemies rush into his fingertips, the chattering that he’d heard on board the space station filled his mind, his heart was racing. He felt relieved at knowing that all that chattering had been in his head, but he suddenly felt uneasy, wondering why it was there. It was like the voices were talking to him, telling him to go, telling him something. It was all so scrambled that he couldn’t make sense of any of it.
> 
> “Lance?” Hunk shook his shoulder, breaking him out of his trance-like stupor. The voices stopped when he looked at Hunk, he realised with sigh of relief.
> 
> “Hey, sorry… just got lost in my thoughts.” Lance laughed.

“Keith? Are you okay?”

“Keith! Wake up, what’s wrong?”

Keith felt his body shaking violently, his stomach churning, head spinning. It was dark and he knew that he was asleep, there were lights flashing all around him. Where was he? The lights were a glowing, vibrant, pale purple.

He gasped himself awake, he was laid in bed next to Lance, on the last day at Lance’s mothers. It was a dream, he knew it was a dream, but why did it feel so real? He felt the thickness of the air, the fear and dread in those halls, he certainly had never been there before, but it felt familiar.

“Oh… hey.” Keith tried to sound casual. He rubbed his eyes, the sun was streaming in the windows and as per usual, Lance had awoken him at 6am. He was hoping that now he was taking a break from the Garrison that he might get a lie in one of these days. Not if Lance had anything to do with it.

“Just… hey?” Lance looked a little terrified. “Are you okay?”

Keith just nodded, not really knowing what Lance was getting at.

“You were laughing, in your sleep,” Lance finally said, Keith sat up fully. Laughing? Why would he be laughing?

“Oh, I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Keith didn’t actually have an excuse. “I don’t really know why I was laughing…”

“What were you dreaming about?”

“Just… a room?”

Lance raised his eyebrows, Keith shrugged in response. Lance shrugged back and reached in for a kiss before he leapt, excitedly, out of bed.

“Anyway! Ignoring your creepy maniacal laughter that I’ll probably be hearing in my nightmares!” Lance stretched. “We should get up, we’ve got to be going back soon,”

Keith felt a headache coming on, but nodded anyway, he subconsciously reached down to his stitches, only to feel that they’d all been taken out. Terrified, he pulled off the covers and discovered that he’d somehow managed to yank them all out in his sleep, blood was soaking the sheets. He was kind of wishing that Lance wouldn’t notice, but of course, he did.

“Keith, what the fuck?!” Lance cried, racing over and checking Keith’s wounds. The skin hadn’t come away, but there was a lot of blood. “Where’s the rest of your crazy space stitches?!”

Keith felt faint all of a sudden, but pointed to his bag, desperately hoping Coran had packed him enough. Lance came over with a plastic box full of little metal staples. Keith set about re-stitching himself, whilst Lance watched. Half curious and half disgusted. Once he was all stitched back up, he took in a deep breath, trying to assess just how much blood he’d lost.

It didn’t look like much, but blood on sheets always looked nasty. Some of it was dark, which made him think that he’d pulled them early on in the night. But why? He decided he didn’t want to think too much about that. Lance pulled him out of bed, stripped the sheets, pretended it was okay that Keith bled through to the mattress and put him in the shower, gently wiping the dried blood off his abdomen. He left Keith to stand in the warmth of the water as he tried to get the blood stain off the mattress before his mom saw and freaked out.

Keith stepped out of the shower and gazed at the stitches in the mirror. He was so lucky that he was healed enough that the wounds didn’t open back up, Lance could have woken up to a dead body next to him in bed. Keith decided to stop thinking. Lance came and found him staring at himself in the mirror, he turned him round and told him to get dressed.

Keith glanced at the bed, Lance had been quite successful at getting the blood out of the mattress, you could only tell if you looked very closely.

“Keith, are you sure you’re okay?” Lance asked, trying to get Keith to look at him.

“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry…” Keith laughed. “Just trying to figure out why on earth I’d rip my own stitches out…”

“Yeah, that along with the weird laughter…” Lance tried a chuckle. “I’m a little worried about you… Are you sure you’re okay… y’know after everything?”

Keith wagered that he hadn’t really processed everything. As soon as he recovered he was on earth, as soon as he was on earth he was with Lance. When he was with Lance he didn’t really think about things, like a band-aid on a cut. Maybe the trauma was manifesting itself in different ways, in his dreams and subconscious actions.

“Well…” Keith breathed, “I guess I haven’t really thought about it… I feel okay, but I don’t feel okay about that.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lance asked, reaching for his hand, Keith tried not to flinch, Lance luckily didn’t notice.

“No, I’m okay,” Keith bit his lip. “We should go make your mom some breakfast.”

Lance gathered up the sheets, still holding Keith’s hand and followed him into the kitchen. He quickly bundled the sheets into the laundry and poured as much detergent as he could in.

They set about making some breakfast, Lance poured Keith a cup of coffee, and placed it gently next to him. Keith was mixing some pancake batter, turned a little and managed to knock the cup to the ground, sending coffee and shards of porcelain across the kitchen.

“Woah, Keith, sorry I didn’t mean to put it so close to you!” Lance rushed over and started mopping up the coffee.

“N-No, it’s not your fault, it’s mine.” Keith dropped the bowl of pancake batter on the side and grabbed the brush to sweep up the porcelain. “Apparently I’m a mess this morning.”

Lance tried a laugh but it didn’t sound right in his throat. Keith was really hoping that Lance wasn’t freaking out, he’d done a lot of weird things. A lot of very strange and out of character things, Keith wasn’t usually clumsy.

They finished breakfast, Lance was behaving normally, which Keith could not have been more grateful for. They finished packing their bags after breakfast and loaded the car, they had a tearful emotional goodbye with the family (Sofia only gently kissed Keith on the cheek this time which he was grateful for).

They climbed in the car, Lance turned on the radio and sang a long, trying to act casually. Keith was trying to concentrate on looking forward to seeing Shiro, Hunk and everyone else. He’d been too busy making sure that Lance was okay that he’d totally forgotten about his friends.

 

Lance was freaking out. What had happened over night? Keith was behaving so strangely. Lance had woken up to the sound of some sort of insane laughter. It had sent chills down his spine. He’d opened his eyes hoping it was just in his dreams, but he turned and saw Keith’s canine’s glittering in the sunlight, his eyes clenched tightly.

He didn’t know how he didn’t notice the blood, he was so glad that he didn’t see any more than Keith’s blood, the metal stitches were scattered all over the sheets, he couldn’t honestly believe that Keith had pulled out all of those stitches by himself. His mother had to have squeezed tightly just to pop one out, Keith must have been trying hard to yank them out.

Lance decided to stop thinking about it, knowing that Keith was probably having a fight with himself internally, he thought he might try and brighten the mood a little, Keith’s mouth was drawn into a thin, straight line.

“What did you want to do when we got back home?” Lance asked, trying to distract him a little. Keith took a while to respond.

All he did was shrug, his eyebrows creasing in the middle.

“Okay, we’ll just play it by ear, okay?” Lance asked, Keith remained silent. And did so for the remainder of the rest of their trip. Lance was watching the countryside pass them by, randomly saying things to try and pass the time, Lance struggled with silence, and he could see that Keith was struggling, he looked like he was in pain.

“Keith, are you okay? Does it hurt?” Lance finally asked, Keith glanced at him quickly, shaking his head, he was forcing himself not to feel it.

“I have pain killers if you change your mind,” Lance just put it out there, he didn’t say anything else, he didn’t want to force anything on Keith, he was clearly having a bad time of it today. Suddenly Keith was pulling over, he put the car in park and fell towards Lance, his arms grappling around Lance’s waist.

“K-Keith?” Lance tried to put his arms around Keith reassuringly, running his hands up and down Keith’s back. “Do you want the pain killers?” Keith nodded against his chest.

Lance tried to reach for his bag without disturbing Keith and managed to grab one of the handles, he pulled it closer and scrabbled around for the pills and some of the water they had left over from the journey there. It was warm but it would do. He gently tried to lift Keith’s head to let him know that he’d got them, Keith sat up and took them. He replaced his hands on the steering wheel and gazed into the distance.

Lance didn’t really know what to do. What could he say to make it better? He figured they just had to get him home, to Shiro, Shiro had lost an arm for god’s sake, surely he knew what to do.

“Keith, I still have my learner’s permit, do you want me to drive?” Lance suggested, Keith nodded and changed seats with Lance, how started up the engine and pulled off. He was lucky that it was an automatic and that the road was pretty much straight the whole way. He kept stealing glances at Keith who was staring out the window, breathing steadily.

They finally pulled up outside the coffee shop, luckily it was a drive-in spot so Lance didn’t have to do any complicated manoeuvres. He put the car into park and nudged Keith gently.

“Hey, we’re here,” Lance said, Keith smiled a little and climbed out of the car, gazing up at the coffee shop. He looked relieved that it looked the same. Lance climbed out and stood next to him. After a couple of minutes Lance decided to drag Keith inside, figuring that if he let him, they’d stand there for hours.

“Keith!” Allura squealed from behind the counter when she spotted them, she raced over and wrapped her arms around his neck, seemingly well aware of his place of injury. He faltered, but then wrapped his arms around her too, shutting his eyes. “I’m so glad to see you!”

Allura pulled back with tears in her eyes, she spotted Lance and the look on his face and raised an eyebrow, to which he shook his head quickly. Allura told them to sit in a chair and that she’d bring coffee and let Shiro know they were here.

“Do you feel a bit better now, Keith?” Lance asked, reaching out to hold his hand, he saw Keith twitch but allowed Lance to interlace their fingers. Keith nodded, he still hadn’t spoken a word since they left his moms, since he smashed the coffee mug.

Allura brought over their coffees and put them on the table in front of them. Keith very gently picked up his cup and sipped, as if terrified he might smash another cup.

“Keith!” Shiro exclaimed as he entered the shop, Keith stood up and still without a word walked straight into Shiro’s chest limply. Shiro hugged him and Keith stood there silently against him, as if he couldn’t muster the strength to hug him back. Shiro shot Lance a look, who again, shook his head lightly. “You look really well… how’s your wounds?”

“Fine,” Keith finally said, glancing back at Lance, pleading with him not to say anything. Lance was thoroughly confused, was Keith ashamed or something? Lance decided that silence on the matter was obviously what Keith needed right now, he could freak out to Shiro another time.

“Did you have fun with Lance’s family?” Allura asked, she desperately trying not to sound like an adult asking a child questions.

“Yeah, we had fun,” Keith said, apparently not trying so hard to not sound like a child returning the question politely.

“I took him surfing!” Lance grinned, trying to pretend the vibe wasn’t hideously sombre. He pulled out his phone and showed them pictures.

“Wow, Keith, you look like you really know what you’re doing!” Shiro spoke, Lance could see him zooming in on the photo, presumably checking out the scars on his stomach.

“I don’t know why I was surprised,” Lance laughed. “Keith’s so good at everything, of course he’d pick up surfing.”

Keith laughed for the first time all day. Lance smiled, he was glad to hear that noise.

Lance showed them more pictures and slowly Keith started warming up a little, making small interjections here and there. It started to get a little late and Lance could tell Keith was flagging, he made excuses and took Keith home. When they entered the apartment, Lance only just remembered that Hunk and Pidge were there, he wasn’t sure if Keith could cope with much more. He quickly tucked him into bed in his room and disappeared into the kitchen where Hunk and Pidge were waiting with bated breath.

“Where is he?” Pidge asked, Lance placed a finger to his lips, trying to make them talk quietly.

“I put him to bed,” Lance spoke quietly, he wasn’t far off a whisper, he really didn’t want Keith to hear.

“Why?” Hunk asked, looking at his watch, Lance was well aware of how early in the evening it was, he held his finger to his lips once more, begging them to stay quiet.

“He’s not okay.” Lance’s quiet voice wavered a little. “He woke me up this morning cackling like a crazy person and then we discovered he’d pulled all of his stitches out in the night for no good reason.”

Hunk and Pidge’s faces both paled at that, neither of them really knew what to say.

“There is no way in hell,” Lance breathed, trying not to let tears fall from his eyes. “That I’m letting him go back.”

 

Keith was gazing at Hanzo, grateful to have awoken without laughing like a super villain and his stitches still where they should be. Lance was sleeping soundly beside him, Keith looked down at him, feeling desperately sorry for making him worry so much. Lance didn’t have to say anything, his face gave him away. Keith didn’t really know himself what was wrong with him, he just felt strange all day, he was wracking his brains trying to figure out why he would do such a stupid thing. And why he just lost all of his spatial awareness and knocked over one of Sofia’s coffee mugs.

He figured maybe it was him coping with what had happened, his body was recovering and his mind hadn’t really caught up. Seeing Allura regard him with such a warm smile made him feel a little bit better. He’d been quietly afraid that she might hate him for the simple fact that he was still around, he couldn’t blame her if she did. Keith had spent many sleepless nights in recovery thinking about how if maybe he’d done something differently…

But Rolo had almost slapped that thought of out him, angrily telling him that no matter what, there was nothing that him or anyone else could have done to change things. He said “Shit happens.” But, at the time that hadn’t really satisfied Keith. Not until Coran had come back on board after the funeral and told Keith about Lance’s doubts. It gave Keith a chance to reflect on what had brought him here and why. And how, it truly was worth it in the end, slowly, but surely, they were making great strides across the universe, working against a force greater than they should probably be able to manage, but it was still worth it.

Keith knew that he had to get that across to Lance, and his strange dreams and stitch pulling certainly wasn’t helping his case. But he also figured that was his first bad day, and there would probably be many more. He hoped that soon he’d develop a better coping method, he’d have to ask Coran about that when he went back. His heart twinged at that when he looked back at Lance’s face, sleeping innocently and soundly. He had two days to convince him.

He reached out and softly brushed Lance’s grown out bangs off of his forehead, watching the paleness of his own fingers against the beautiful tan skin of Lance’s, he couldn’t help but smile, they were so the opposite of each other.

That seemed to wake Lance up, whose eyes fluttered open and sleepily adjusted, Keith could tell that once Lance was fully awake he was desperately trying not to glance down to check the bed for blood.

“They’re all still there,” Keith laughed, he felt much better today. “Sorry for freaking you out. I think it was just… a weird thing I did to cope with the fact I’m still here and Alfor isn’t.”

Lance blinked at that, surprised about the bluntness, for some reason he wasn't expecting honesty from Keith this morning, but he was kinda glad, everything had been about him that he'd kind of forgotten that Keith had been through a trauma too, worse than his own.

“Yeah… that seems like a pretty decent excuse for it,” Lance was calculating this in his head. “You seem a lot better today… maybe it was just one of those things.”

“I do feel good. I feel happy.” Keith glanced up at Hanzo. He climbed out of bed and grabbed the glass of water that Lance had gotten for him the night before. He poured some water into Hanzo and clipped a couple of his leaves.

“Did you want to go and do something today?” Lance was suddenly behind him, Keith twitched a little in surprise, Lance obviously wanted to wrap his arms around his waist but was hesitating, so he was just kind of… stood there, behind him… very close. Keith turned and wrapped his arms around Lance’s waist instead, Lance was the perfect height that Keith could bury his head in the crook of his neck. He inhaled the scent of home and felt happy at the feeling. He nodded into him.

They went to make breakfast after showering, discovering Pidge was already in the kitchen on her laptop. She glanced up and spotted Keith and leapt out of her chair like she’d gotten an electric shock, racing over to him, her headphones whipped off her head since they were still attached to her laptop. She, like Allura had, wrapped her arms around his neck instead of round his waist. Keith smiled and returned the hug, happy to have his adopted little sibling back.

It had felt quite lonely at first when he got on board, he had underestimated how hard it would be to adjust to being alone. He had Rolo, who he was thrilled to know someone already, but Rolo was an acquaintance when they started. There was also the awkwardness of Rolo’s supposed crush from years ago being an obstacle, but they got over that quickly.

One day he was walking through the corridors and he saw a light flash, he paid it no notice until it flashed again. And again, like it was trying to spell something out. He suddenly recognised it as Morse Code. He was extremely worried and confused, it wasn’t something that they taught anymore in the military, but it was something that Keith had forced himself to learn as a teenager, he was glad for that now as he very quickly caught on to the situation. He glanced around a little terrified when the message stopped, he finally fell upon a security camera, he quickly waved and dashed off, terrified that he’d get caught. His heart swelled as he rushed off to the rec room, happy that he had a connection of some sort to who he assumed was Pidge back home.

K E I T H  D O N T  F R E A K  O U T

When no one, not a single senior officer mentioned it to him, he gathered that Pidge had designed some kind of technical intervention that happened organically enough for them to just pass it off as cosmic interference.

The messages were brief but it was a way of keeping Keith grounded, space could send you crazy sometimes if you thought too hard about how most of it was empty, never-ending nothingness.

“Keith! I’m so happy to see you!” Pidge pulled away, grinning from ear to ear. Hunk had obviously heard all the commotion and rushed into the room, delicately picking Keith up and spinning him around. Keith was laughing, it felt good to laugh.

“Oh man! I’m so glad it’s the summer break! We can actually hang out on a Wednesday!” Hunk gushed happily.

 

They decided after breakfast to bundle Shiro and Allura into the car and head to the science museum, Lance hadn’t been there since he and Keith went on their strange, tense, vaguely romantic space-date. Keith regarded the building with very different eyes now. Lance grabbed his hand and they all headed inside.

“Man, it feels so weird to be here after everything,” Keith laughed, Shiro threw an arm around his shoulder in understanding.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Pidge laughed, they were glancing around, staring at the rocket-ship shaped archway ahead of them, all of them knowing how in their encounters with space, there was not a single rocket-ship.

They walked through the archway into the engineering display, Pidge and Hunk were in their element, looking around it all, commenting on how basic it looked.

“Hey, Pidge, whatever happened to Rover?” Lance suddenly asked, Pidge glanced back at him, a little grin on her face.

“Oh, I’m working on it,” She smiled, pushing her glasses further up her nose. Lance laughed, remembering that little robot, all sharp angles and green lights. Their professor had commented on how sophisticated the design was, intelligent and practical.

“You reckon you could build something better than this?” Allura gestured to the gigantic jet engine in front of them, both Hunk and Pidge scoffed as if it were a stupid question.

They wandered from the engine exhibit into the famous astronauts. It felt like such a strange conspiracy now, to look at all these wax-work figurines who had been commended to such a high standard for traveling to the moon and back, for orbiting earth and even Lance had been further than any of these men could have hoped to have gone. It made Lance realise how incredibly important all the secrets and security was, that they’d go to such great lengths to make people think that this is all humans could do.

It seemed everyone felt the same as they left the room without a word, they walked into the next exhibit and Lance was reminded of how uncomfortable they’d felt in that room. Keith wandered over to the Galra creature and stared at it, his eyes creasing together in concentration, like he was trying to gain something from the stuffed figure. Eventually they had to drag him away from the staring contest he was having with the motionless monster, it’s yellow eyes creepy, unblinking and unmoving.

They entered the Voltron exhibit and Lance felt something. He felt the familiar rush of shooting enemies rush into his fingertips, the chattering that he’d heard on board the space station filled his mind, his heart was racing. He felt relieved at knowing that all that chattering had been in his head, but he suddenly felt uneasy, wondering why it was there. It was like the voices were talking to him, telling him to go, telling him something. It was all so scrambled that he couldn’t make sense of any of it.

“Lance?” Hunk shook his shoulder, breaking him out of his trance-like stupor. The voices stopped when he looked at Hunk, he realised with sigh of relief.

“Hey, sorry… just got lost in my thoughts.” Lance laughed, he gazed up at the huge metal creature, he felt very differently about it now. After seeing all those stars and learning those stories, he couldn’t help but feel like it was becoming more and more realistic that Voltron was a real thing. It seemed like such a silly, childish story, but he wasn’t so sure anymore.

They wandered into the constellation room and let everyone else compete to see who could find them all the quickest, Keith laced his fingers with Lance’s and stared up at the ceiling, the twinkling lights softly lighting his face, he’d gained a couple of freckles from the summer sun back at Lance’s mom’s. He looked beautiful and Lance knew that even the look on Keith’s face gazing at the lights wasn’t enough to convince him that Keith should go back.

After a while they dragged the others into the light show to watch the story of Voltron. Lance gripped Keith’s hand, as they watched the show, it just seemed more and more realistic to him. A quick glance in Keith’s direction told Lance that he was thinking the same thing. They exchanged a look, a kind of… excited determination. It had to be true.

When it ended and everyone was excitedly talking about it, they decided to go back to the apartment for pizza and movies. They bundled up on the sofas together, chomping on pizza and chatting with a movie on in the background.

“Hey, Pidge, I totally forgot to ask you!” Shiro suddenly exclaimed. “How’s Matt? I know last time he was here he had a lot of seriously classified stuff going on.”

Lance paled, he’d totally forgotten about Matt and the little debacle they had. He glanced at Keith who was too busy picking off the pineapple on his pizza slice to notice Lance’s sudden change in demeanour. If it didn’t happen, was it even worth saying? Lance still wasn’t sure if Keith hadn’t messaged when he did if he would have gone through with it. When he thought about it, if something similar had happened with Keith and Rolo he wasn’t sure if he’d want to know about it. But he also didn’t want to live his entire life having that knowledge in the back of his mind. He didn’t know if Matt might one day slip up and say something, or that Matt might have told Pidge already.

“Oh yeah, he’s fine,” Pidge smiled. “I mean, I say that having only heard bits and pieces. As far as I know, he’s definitely still alive.”

He knew Pidge, if Pidge knew something, she’d have said something, she’d have hinted something at Lance, she’d have teased him. Or failing that yelled at him and Matt for even considering it. But that still didn’t stop Matt, upon meeting Keith for the first time, potentially saying something. Keith was oblivious, but not THAT oblivious. He decided it was probably for the best that the told him, even if it made him feel sick to his stomach and filled him with so much dread of Keith’s reaction.

The evening wound down, and Lance wound himself up. He had to tell Keith before it was their last day together, he wanted to get it out and clear the air, not least just to stop the messy feeling in his head. If Keith walked out so be it, at least he got the guilty feelings out of his head. As Allura and Shiro left, and Hunk and Pidge disappeared off to bed, Lance was leant against Keith, wondering how he should go about it, Keith was nodding off behind him.

“Hey Keith,” Lance’s stomach doing backflips. Keith shook his head to wake himself up.

“Yeah?” He spoke sleepily, sitting up a little further. Lance turned on the sofa, tucking his legs under him like a child preparing to be scolded.

“I have something to tell you,” Lance tried not to make it sound so serious, Keith’s eyes opened to that.

“Ok…” Keith spoke with a lilt, Lance was making this sound way worse than it was.

“So… Pidge’s birthday last year.” Lance started, Keith raised an eyebrow at him. “Matt came and surprised her for a birthday treat.”

“Right,” Keith’s obliviousness never ceased to amaze Lance.

“And Shiro and Allura came over and we all got really drunk, thanks to Pidge,” Lance sighed, why was he creating such a build up, it wasn’t a big deal. Was it?

“Where… are you going with this Lance?” Keith finally seemed to have caught on.

“Well, Matt had been super flirty all night, like… really forward.” Lance gulped, looking over to the corner of the room as he felt Keith shift away from him slightly, anticipating the worst.

“And what? You kissed? What are you trying to tell me?” Keith suddenly said, his voice wounded and sad.

“N-no, we didn’t kiss… but he made a move on me,” Lance stammered, it was so hard to tell someone something like this. “But I didn’t go through with it obviously. It was really strange actually… just as he was about to kiss me I got a message from you.”

“Well,” Keith’s mouth was straight, like he was trying very hard to not be angry. “thank god for that.”

Lance pretended not to be stung by the sarcasm, he shouldn’t have worried about his feelings being hurt, Keith was reacting pretty well for hearing news like that.

“I’m sorry, Keith. I know I wouldn’t have gone through with it, even if you didn’t text me.” Lance tried to reach out for him but faltered when Keith flinched again.

Keith was silent for a second, probably going over in his mind exactly how he was gonna tell Lance to go fuck himself and leave, Lance prayed that wouldn’t be the case. The silence continued, Keith’s face was unreadable.

“Last year?” Keith asked.

“Yeah.”

“Before you came to the space station?”

“Yes.”

“When you were unsure whether or not we were dating.”

“I mean technically you never asked-“

“Lance, I assumed it went without saying!”

Keith was speaking surprisingly calmly, Lance wasn’t sure if this was just his way of being livid. Keith had blown up at him in the past for much less.

“I know… but I was a little terrified that you and Rolo were fucking behind my back!”

“Why would you think that?!”

“I saw your recruits picture, the way he was cuddled up to you, you were laughing like I’d never seen or been able to make you laugh like before!”

Keith looked like he was wracking his brains, trying to remember when the photo was taken. Lance sighed and went into his old conversations on his phone with Allura and brought up the picture she’d sent him two Christmases ago. Keith looked at it and raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know if I’d call that cuddled up.” Keith laughed a little, pointing at Rolo’s arm around him.

“You know what I mean,” Lance sighed, “You just looked so cosy and happy and it broke my heart a little that someone else could make you look like that.”

Keith sighed and shook his head, he rubbed his eyes and sat up, taking Lance’s hands in his.

“It was just a laugh, Lance,” Keith sighed. “He may have made me look like that, but you make me feel things I’ve never felt before. You make me happier than I ever thought I was capable of being. You make it worth all the pain, the restless nights sleep, the loneliness. I am so lucky knowing that hopefully in a years time, I’ll get to share it all with you.”

Lance almost told Keith to stop being so gross and cheesy, but he couldn’t deny how much it made his heart swell. The crushing feeling of Keith’s anticipated departure dissipated for a second, because Keith was right here, right now.

Lance had almost completely forgotten what they had even started talking about.

“And anyway, I know you would have been way too scared to go through with it anyways. I’ve seen pictures and Matt is way out of your league!” Keith laughed, pulling Lance to his chest and nuzzling his neck affectionately. Lance scoffed, but then stopped himself from arguing back when Keith gently grazed his neck with his teeth. “You’ll just have to make it up to me.”

 

The morning came far too quickly for Lance’s liking, Keith was fast asleep against his chest, Lance surreptitiously lifted the covers to check Keith’s stitches were still in place and went back to fretting in his head. He knew that Keith wouldn’t, or even couldn’t stay. But that didn’t mean Lance was happy about it. He was slowly realising as he watched the sun rise that his dream, the thing he’d clung onto his entire life, had turned into his worst nightmare. Everything he had been so sure about was different now, it felt like the more he thought about his upcoming exam he just dreaded it more and more. He wasn’t sure that this is what he wanted for himself, for his family. He didn’t want them to have deal with mysterious and vague excuses about why their son had lost a leg, or why he’d never be able to talk again or…

“Morning.” Keith smiled sleepily, looking up at Lance’s clearly worried face. “Get out of your head.”

It was freaky, that was exactly what Coran had said to him at Alfor’s wake, a firm hand on Lance’s shoulder and a fierce look in his eye.

But he couldn’t, and once Keith was gone, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to ever get out of his own head. It was all just so messy and he was sick of the feeling.

Lance just stayed silent, a grim expression on his face Keith sat up and placed a kiss on the end of his chin.

“I promise, once you’re there you’ll understand.” Keith smiled as if that were enough. Lance was sick of people telling him that. Just saying that over and over again wasn’t enough and he was so done with peoples shitty excuses for it.

“Will I, Keith?” Lance exclaimed, his voice much harder than he expected it to be. Keith looked taken aback. “Why? Why will I suddenly understand?!”

Keith didn’t really have a response, maybe it was too hard to explain, which was fine because Lance was fed up of crappy explanations.

“As far as I’m concerned, the minute you leave here, you’re as good as dead.” Lance sat up fully, resting his back against the wall and staring out the window.

“What do you want me to say, Lance?” Keith’s voice matched his, the electricity in the air sparked, the anger was contagious. “I can’t promise and have never ever promised to you that everything will be okay. That there isn’t a chance that I could get hurt, or even die. That was the whole reason I never wanted to pursue anything with you because I knew something like this would happen.”

Lance knew he was mad, but that stung. He knew he didn’t mean it the way it sounded but it still hurt just as much.

“Fuck this then.” Lance bit his tongue. “Just fucking break up with me if it makes it easier for you. Just end it.”

Lance wasn’t looking at Keith’s face as he said this, he was too busy staring out at the rising sun. But he felt movement, he felt Keith putting his clothes on, and he felt the door slam as Keith walked out.

 

Keith wasn’t sure where he was going, but it was hot and he was angry. Why would Lance say something so stupid like that, the last thing Keith wanted was to break up, even after finding out that Lance was so close to actually cheating on him. Keith hadn’t had this feeling in his chest for a long time, it just reminded him so severely of the mess their relationship was before Keith left for the garrison. He hated this feeling, he’d hoped since they sorted everything that he’d never feel this way again. He didn’t want to leave on a misunderstanding again.

Either they broke up or they sorted it out, either way Keith knew that storming off and stewing wasn’t the right thing to do. And he knew that if they did break up, he had to take his moon rock back, but he wasn’t sure what he’d do with it when he did get it back. Maybe throw it into a Xanthoriam cluster and watch it scatter across space. Splintering in thousands of tiny pieces, just like his heart. Oh god, Keith had to stop being so emo. He’d only made it as far as the stoop outside their apartment before he turned around, ran up the stairs and began slamming his fist on the door.

After a couple of minutes and muffled yelling behind the door, Pidge finally opened the door, an unamused look on her face. Keith didn’t have time for questions, he pushed the door fully open and dashed to Lance’s door.

“Lance. I’m sorry I left. I don’t want to break up with you!” He cried through the door, trying to hold it together, his future was on the other side of that door. Hunk and Pidge were suddenly there, watching the whole thing unfold.

He was met with stone-cold, solid silence. He knew Lance was in there because he heard movement.

“Lance please. I know you didn’t mean it.” Keith whimpered against the door. He couldn’t leave things like this. He couldn’t walk away again with more things left unsaid. He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, he wanted to ignore it. His stomach filled with dread at what the phone call could be.

“Lance, c’mon! I’m sorry!” His voice wavering. His phone went to voicemail and then immediately started ringing again. He glanced down and saw that it was Shiro.

“Lance, please.” He was begging now, his phone kept ringing, it was definitely important.

He finally answered it.

“Keith, the cars here to pick you up, where are you?” Keith’s stomach dropped so severely he almost vomited right there on the spot.

“Six hours too early?!” Keith cried down the phone, Hunk and Pidge looked at each other, suddenly realising that it was no longer amusing to watch.

“No, they changed the time, they did send you a message didn’t they?” Shiro sounded confused at the devastation in his tone.

Had they? Keith couldn’t remember seeing a message from anybody. He’d have noticed something that important.

“O-ok, I’m on my way…” Keith’s voice was defeated. He didn’t even have time to make things right.

“Lance, please.” Keith pleaded against the door. “I have to go. The cars here to pick me up. I can’t leave things like this.”

Finally the door opened, Lance was stood with Keith’s bag, ready packed.

“I’m sorry, Keith.” His eyes were low. “I can’t leave things like this either.”

Keith tried to prepare himself for the heartbreak he was about to endure, he saw the moon rock on the windowsill next to Hanzo behind Lance.

“But, I made Alfor a promise.” Lance’s voice was emotional. “And I’m not about to break that promise because I’m scared of something that’s out of my control.”

“What are you saying?” Keith’s heart couldn’t take it. Lance looked up with red-rimmed eyes.

“I love you, you fucking idiot.” Lance breathed. “And if I can’t protect you down here, I’m gonna work my ass off to make sure I can protect you up there.”

So the moon rock stayed, glittering a beautiful blue in the sunshine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr - foxsmo-lder
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos! Sorry that this took so long!  
> expect tooth-rotting fluff from now on, as a kind of apology.


	22. Graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance_ Also, how will I know that the hens are actually French?
> 
> Lance_ Don’t worry, I just googled it.
> 
> Lance attached a picture of three hens dressed in stripy red shirts and berets.
> 
> Keith_ I mean, sure, they look French, but how do you know they aren’t just artists? Or hipsters?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really fluffy as a way to apologise.  
> i really hope american's know the 12 days of christmas song  
> google it if you haven't.

Aug 15. 1:05pm

Keith_  Lance, are you there?

Keith_  It’s okay if you’re not, I understand.

Keith_  It felt really strange to come back… I’m happy to be back, but it feels strange knowing that General Alfor isn’t here.

Keith_  I really miss you, I hope you know that. I hate that things always end up so messy between us.

Keith_  I hope you don’t think that makes me want to give up on you, because I don’t.

Keith_  Anyway, Coran has taken over for Alfor, so I’m sure you know how that is.

Keith_  Rolo says hi by the way.

Keith_  If I don’t get to speak to you before you go back to college, I hope it goes well, I know that you took your exam the other day, I hope it went well.

Keith_  Anyway, I’m gonna go… this seems desperately pathetic to keep messaging you, when you’re clearly not there or ignoring me.

Keith_  I still love you. I hope you feel the same.

 

Lance stared down at his phone, he wanted to respond, so desperately but he was under strict orders not to. He didn’t want Keith to think that he didn’t feel the same, because he did. Coran had been very specific that Lance needed to give Keith some space. When Lance finally got around to speaking to Shiro about the sleep laughter and stitch pulling, he immediately contacted Coran, who took it extremely seriously.

He said to Lance in no uncertain terms that he was to leave Keith alone for a little while. Lance didn’t fully agree with him, but he wasn’t going to disagree with his future General, someone who had clearly been doing this for a lot longer than the both of them, and was the most qualified to give orders and advice.

It still felt so wrong, to ignore Keith when he so clearly needed someone to talk to, someone to ground him. Pidge hadn’t dared to mess with the garrison lights or cameras since their visit to the space station, it was all too risky. Which meant that Keith was well and truly alone.

Lance wanted to tell him how well the exam went, despite everything that had happened that summer, wanted to tell him how much he missed him and that he did feel the same, but he respected Coran enough to heed his warning.

Pidge was watching him, staring at his phone, the last time she’d seen him do this it was a determined frown, this time it was a sad wistfulness.

They were preparing to start their fourth and final year, it was a year of solid training, with a practical exam at the end, even though Shiro knew he wouldn’t be leaving for the garrison, he stayed as their fighter pilot so that they had a full team to pass at the end.

Lance still had his doubts about the whole thing, but he’d made a promise, he’d made a lot of promises, and no matter what, he was going to fulfil at least one.

 

Aug 29. 1:04pm

Keith_  I’m just guessing you’re not going to respond this time too. Coran told me that he told you to give me space, excuse the pun.

Keith_  That makes me feel a little bit better I guess.

Keith_  My wounds are all healed, the stitches have been taken out… by a medical professional this time not a half-asleep psycho.

Keith_  Coran reckons it was definitely a subconscious attempt to make up for survivor’s guilt. It’s hard but I’m coming to terms with it.

Keith_  This is the kinda stuff they don’t teach you in your basic training.

Keith_  So make sure you’re prepared for that kind of stuff. By the next time I speak to you, you’ll be back at college. So good luck.

 

Sept 12. 1:45pm

Keith_  I miss you.

 

Sept 26. 1:01pm

Keith_  Fuck, I miss you so much. Fuck what Coran says, please speak to me.

 

Lance stared at the message, he wanted to respond, but he was too exhausted. He’d been passed out in bed since their training session on Friday, he’d severely underestimated how difficult this year was going to be. He could only hope that eventually he’d get used to it. His arms, his abs, his legs, all of it ached, Shiro was the only one on their team not completely suffering, he’d been through it all before.

 

Oct 10. 1:15pm

Keith_  I had another weird dream last night. It was on this huge metal space-ship, it was all black and purple and I felt scared, but I felt… comfortable at the same time.

Keith_  It was weird, suddenly everything started to shake and a huge blue light appeared and blew the ship apart. I was being rescued by this huge thing.

Keith_  It felt like you.

Keith_  I hope you’re okay.

 

Oct 24. 1:12pm

Keith_  We explored more stars, I have so much I want to tell you! It was amazing.

Keith_  I bet you’re working really hard this year. If it’s anything like my 6 months of training, you’re going to be exhausted all the time.

Keith_  I’m so proud of you, I hope you’re not finding it too mentally taxing, you get used to it.

 

Nov 7. 1:05pm

Keith_  Laaaaaaance

Keith_  C’mooonnnn

Lance smirked at his phone.

Lance_  Yes?

Keith_  Oh, oh wow that worked?!

Keith_  Not my being proud of you, or pouring my heart out to you.

Lance_  It’s not that… it’s just I’ve been given the okay to message you back finally. Coran said you’re doing really well.

Keith_  Yeah, I guess. I feel a lot better. I just miss you.

Lance_  I know, I miss you too.

Lance_  Anymore crazy dreams?

Keith_  I just keep seeing that blue light. It’s like an all-consuming powerful feeling that you’re right there with me.

Lance_  That’s profound.

Lance_  And I am there, always.

Keith_  Gross.

Lance_  Haha, shut up.

Keith_  What have I been missing then?

Lance_  Not much, ‘cept I’m ripped now.

Keith_  Is that right?

Lance_  Yup, my ego is through the roof, also Rob and Aly have sorted almost everything for the wedding, I’ve never seen my brother so excited.

Keith_  Of course, not long left till the wedding.

Lance_  You’re gonna be there aren’t you?

Keith_  I really, really want to be. But I can’t make any promises.

Lance_  What about my graduation?

Keith_  Ditto my last response.

Lance_  When will you know?

Keith_  I don’t really know.

Lance_  Right…

Keith_  I’m sorry, it’s just… everything’s so up in the air, there’s so much that’s gone on since I came back.

Lance_  I get it, don’t worry.

Keith_  You sound mad.

Lance_  Not mad…

Keith_  Don’t say it.

Lance_  Just, disappointed.

Keith_  You just broke my heart, and now I have to go, I promise I’ll make it up to you.

Lance_  You better.

 

Nov 21. 1:10pm

Keith_  So, I forgot to ask, what kind of promises did you make, and to who?

Lance_  Hm, I don’t know if I should tell you.

Keith_  Please! It obviously meant enough to you for you to completely change your mind about everything.

Lance_  Okay, remember when I came and visited the station?

Keith_  Of course.

Lance_  Y’know when I got carted off by Coran?

Keith_  Yeah? I thought you said it was classified?

Lance_  Well, yeah, the conversation was. But Alfor made me promise three things.

Keith_  General Alfor? Made you promise something?

Lance_  Yep, three promises.

Keith_  Okay, what were those three things?

Lance_  I’m only gonna tell you one of them, because the other two are secret.

Keith_  Um… okay, I guess.

Lance_  I promised him I’d work really hard, keep my head down, stay out of trouble.

Keith_  Oh… so you promised him you’d finish college and come to the Garrison huh?

Lance_  Essentially.

Keith_  Aw, man I really wanna know what the other two were.

Lance_  Super secret, sorry.

Lance_  I mean, technically I can’t fulfil one of them…

Lance_  Aw, I made myself sad. I’m gonna go cuddle the fuck out of Allura now. Speak soon.

 

Dec 5 1:45pm

Lance_  20 days till Christmas!

Lance_  20 days till I spend another miserable Christmas without you.

Keith_  That’s depressing.

Lance_  What do you do for Christmas on board?

Keith_  We get to eat turkey.

Lance_  That’s it? Man, that’s even more depressing than me being on my own. At least I get presents.

Keith_  And you’re also not actually on your own, you have people around you.

Lance_  And you have Rolo.

Keith_  Joy.

Lance_  Savage, I thought you liked him.

Keith_  Yeah, I’m kidding, he’s cool. He usually draws me a picture of something.

Keith attached some sketchy looking pictures, one of what Lance assumed Rolo thought Voltron might look like and another picture of Lance (?) stood with some sharp sunglasses on his face and a long flowing cape.

Lance_  I can get behind the second one.

Keith_  I think it’s his way of sympathising with me missing you.

Lance_  Does Rolo have any family?

Keith_  He doesn’t really have family per se, none that he’s mentioned before.

Keith_  He has a friend he used to live with, they’ve been friends since they were both children.

Keith attached some more sketchy pictures, one was of a stunningly pretty girl, beautiful long hair and sparkling eyes.

Keith_  And a cat.

Another drawing, but of a fat, grey shaded cat.

Keith_  Nyma and Beezer.

Lance_  Who’s who?

Keith_  Are you really asking that question?

Lance_  I don’t know his life!

Lance_  He’s a decent enough artist though.

Keith_  Yeah, he does a lot of sketches of the planets and the stars we see. We’re only allowed to take holo-templates of planets where the inhabitants are evolved enough to give consent.

Keith_  So, Rolo sketches the rest and they get translated into very basic versions of those planets.

Keith_  Coran is always very enthusiastic about this.

Lance_  I never got to go on the holodeck.

Keith_  Plenty of time for that this time next year!

Lance_  I guess…

Keith_  I thought about it for a long time, and knowing you how I do, once you’re here, you’ll be the happiest you’ve ever been.

Lance_  But what if I’m not.

Keith_  You will be, I know it. Remember how you felt when you were here yourself? I’ve never seen you with such a sparkle in your eye.

Lance_  I guess, I hope it’s still just as good as I remember, I think all the anticipation is putting me off.

Keith_  Don’t think too much, it won’t do you any good.

Lance sighed, his face buried in his pillow. Thinking was all he could do nowadays. Pidge, Hunk and him hadn’t hung out in the longest time, they’d been working so hard that they hardly had anytime off that they weren’t asleep. Pidge was very rarely in the kitchen working away, Hunk was constantly asleep, Lance just couldn’t wait for the year to be over, he missed socialising, he missed his little family.

He didn’t even have time to spend Christmas back home, even during the winter break they were constantly training, honing their skills. They had to learn hand-to-hand combat, which Lance was suffering for. He was better at long-range sniping, but he was getting there. Pidge was quick and agile, whereas Hunk was immensely strong. Shiro was the perfect all-rounder, and his battle prosthetic was an exceptional weapon.

Lance_  I know, I can’t help it. Apart from training, thinking is all I can do.

Keith_  Sleep, rest up, you’re gonna need the sleep and make sure you’re eating properly.

 

Dec 19. 1:30pm

Lance_  6 days till Christmas.

Lance_  You owe me some geese, buddy.

Keith_  I’m sorry? I owe you geese? Why don’t you owe me geese?

Lance_  Fine, we owe each other geese.

Keith_  We owe each other MUCH more than just geese. Golden rings? Calling birds? French hens? Turtle doves?

Lance_  I don’t know how I’m gonna get a pear tree to space, sorry.

Lance_  Also, how will I know that the hens are actually French?

Lance_  Don’t worry, I just googled it.

Lance attached a picture of three hens dressed in stripy red shirts and berets.

Keith_  I mean, sure, they look French, but how do you know they aren’t just artists? Or hipsters?

Lance_  You ask too much, that picture is marvellous, don’t poke holes in this.

Keith_  I’m sorry. They are definitely French. I can hear the accordion.

Lance_  Have you got me a present this year?

Keith_  Are 6 different varieties of bird and a bunch of dancing people not enough?

Lance_  You know what I mean

Keith_  I guess not then, sorry, I haven’t had a chance to stop at a space mall yet.

Keith_  Emphasis on the word yet.

Lance_  Save that for when I’m up there, I wanna buy you something sparkly.

Keith_  Magpie? You want another variety of bird? Why don’t we just take a trip to the zoo.

Lance_  Space zoo?

Keith_  Sure

Lance_  Promise?

Keith_  Promise.

 

Jan 2. 1:20pm

Keith_  How was Christmas?

Lance_  Can’t talk, feathers fucking everywhere. That was a terrible gift.

Keith_  And I think earth creatures aren’t allowed through space customs.

Lance_  There’s bird shit everywhere.

Lance_  Pidge is just sad that there’s no owls.

Keith_  Technically a calling bird isn’t a real bird, so we can pretend those are owls?

Lance_  That works, Pidge is satisfied.

Keith_  Any new years resolutions?

Lance_  Uh, apart from the obvious. Get to space, nothing. You?

Keith_  I have one, but I can’t tell you.

Lance_  Why not?

Keith_  Because it might not come true.

Lance_  It’s a resolution not a wish.

Keith_  Still not telling you.

Lance_  Know anymore about Raly’s wedding?

Keith_  No, no, just because Klance works doesn’t mean that everyone else’s is the same, that is a terrible couple name.

Lance_  Rolyssa?

Lance_  Omg omg, Albert!

Keith_  No, stop.

Lance_  I give up, Raly is good enough for me, but seriously.

Keith_  I still don’t know yet, but… just put me down as a yes until further notice.

Lance_  Okay, so you’re definitely coming.

Keith_  I can’t make promises, but I want to at least be fed if I do make it.

Lance_  I’ll see you then! Make sure you look dapper as heck.

Keith_  Sure, why not.

 

Jan 16. 1:05pm

Keith_  How was Hunk’s birthday?

Lance_  We were too busy training to celebrate. But we made him a cake.

Keith_  That’s cute, pic?

Lance attached picture of a bright yellow birthday cake with a crudely made curled up icing cat on top.

Keith_  Amarillo.

Lance_  I’m surprised you managed to see that it was a cat.

Keith_  Sure… that wasn’t just a complete guess knowing that Amarillo is yellow in Spanish.

Keith_  Are you sure that’s a cat?

Keith_  It looks like… a growth.

Lance_  It took me four hours. Hunk cried. Screw you.

Keith_  I hope it tasted better than it looked.

Lance attached a picture of himself flipping Keith the bird.

Keith_  You’re cute when you’re mad.

Lance_  You’re an asshole when you make fun of my icing skills.

Lance_  For that, I’m decorating our wedding cake. I’m gonna put cats ALL OVER IT. Lots of little white tumour growth cats.

Keith_  If you keep practising maybe they’ll start to look like cats.

Lance_  Nope, they’re gonna be shitty tumour cats, so screw you.

Keith_  Maybe throw a dog in here and there?

Keith_  Coupl’a French hens? Berets and all?

Lance_  It’s a wedding cake not noah’s ark.

Keith_  I’m expecting this thing to be taller than me.

Lance_  That won’t be hard then.

Keith_  I want to be able to fall into it

Lance_  And ruin all my hard work? My poor cats.

Keith_  I’m gonna go and dream about cake clouds.

 

Jan 30 1:40pm

Keith_  What’s in the news today?

Lance_  Some asshole is president, some dictator is threatening us with nuclear weapons, children are starving. Y’know, the usual earth shit.

Keith_  Oh, so like before I left then.

Lance_  Fuck going to space, I’m gonna bring about world peace.

Keith_  Lance the humanitarian. Has a nice ring to it.

Lance_  Like a peaceful hippie super hero.

Keith attached the drawing of Lance that Rolo did, but with a crude little LTH on his chest and a drawing of the world on his cape.

Lance_  All my dreams have come true.

Keith_  With great power, comes great responsibility.

 

Feb 13 1:25pm

Keith_  Happy valentine’s day for tomorrow.

Lance_  Oooh yeah, valentines. I’m not prepared for it, my bad.

Keith_  Shame.

Lance_  Don’t worry.

Lance quickly snapped a picture, he was laid up in bed recovering from a busy week, he hadn’t had a chance to show off to Keith, so this seemed like the perfect time. Shirtless of course.

Keith_  Woah, okay, I have to go.

Lance_  What, why?

Keith_  I can’t say? its classified? I don’t know? I have to go.

Lance_  YOU’RE WEAK.

 

Feb 27. 1:50pm

Keith_  Sorry! I’m so late!

Lance_  I see how it is, now that you have that photo you’d rather spend time with it than me.

Keith_  Sorry, I can’t help it. The picture doesn’t sass me back like you do.

Lance_  But, sass makes up about 65% of my body’s D.N.A

Keith_  I know.

Lance_  You’re the worst.

Keith_  Tell Shiro happy birthday.

Lance_  He’s a tiny seven year old. He won’t have another birthday for two years.

Keith_  You’re not wrong, he makes that face sometimes.

Lance_  I know EXACTLY what you mean! The face!

Keith_  I gotta go! Speak soon!

 

Their final exam was coming up, Lance was terrified. He was excited, but terrified. All that their final exam involved was flying a ship out of the atmosphere, around the moon and back again. Simple, they’d done much more than that, and the likelihood that they were going to be ambushed by enemies was very low. Lance was terrified because it meant they were nearly done, graduation was going to happen and before he would know it, he’d be in space. He still wasn’t 100% sure that that was what he wanted. But he knew he wanted to be with Keith.

 

Mar 13. 1:15pm

Keith_  The craziest thing happened today.

Lance_  Oh?

Keith_  I can’t actually tell you, but it was INSANE.

Lance_  Why would you bother to mention it if you can’t tell me what happened?

Keith_  I dunno…

Keith_  Oh hey, I forgot to tell you something the other day.

Lance_  Something else you can’t actually tell me?

Keith_  Well, I probably shouldn’t but…

Keith_  I had another weird dream. But you weren’t there with your big blue light this time and I felt kinda scared, I dunno it was really weird. I saw this blinding purple light and woke up with scratch marks all over me.

Lance_  Woah, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?

Keith_  Yeah, they didn’t hurt, I assumed it was me that did it, but when I went and saw Coran, he told me that the scratch marks were too sharp to be me.

Lance_  Rolo?

Keith_  No… no Rolo isn’t waking up in the middle of the night, filing his nails and scratching me all over.

Lance_  No, that would be ridiculous. He files ‘em before he goes to sleep, he can’t waste precious midnight scratching time.

Keith_  I’m gonna have nightmares just picturing that.

Lance_  Me too, I don’t know why I said that.

Lance_  What’s the verdict then? One of the Christmas fowl that managed to slip past space customs and scratched you up ‘cause you’re neglectful?

Keith_  Well, that’s the part I can’t really get into. I’m fine, but it’s just… something we’re not entirely sure of. And I’d be a great bird father, thank you.

Lance_  Thanks for telling me I guess.

Keith_  Thought I’d keep you updated.

Lance_  Speaking of updates, our final exam is coming up next month, so I won’t be able to keep in contact for a bit. Non-stop training and essays to do.

Keith_  No problem, I’ll just message to let you know I’m still alive.

Lance_  Thanks… that’s… reassuring.

Lance_  Gotta go, Hunk and Pidge are dragging me to the simulator.

Keith_  Give ‘em hell.

 

Mar 27. 1:01pm

Keith_  I’ve started singing our wedding song to myself as I fall asleep. It keeps my dreams blue and protected.

Keith_  Rolo’s caught on and now we harmonize, he’s got a really good voice, I might ask him to perform at our wedding.

Keith_  y’know, because as always… I’m getting way ahead of myself?

 

Apr 10 1:15pm

Keith_  I know that Rolo and Hunk would never work as a couple.

Keith_  Only because their couple name is gross. It’s either Holo or Runk, and neither of those are good choices.

Keith_  Maybe Holo isn’t so bad…

Keith_  Allura + Shiro = Shallura

Keith_  Pidge + Computer = Pomputer or Cidge.

Keith_  Definitely Cidge.

Keith_  Shiro + Matt = Shatt

Keith_  Shatt wins everything.

Keith_  I haven’t even met Matt and I think Shiro should leave Allura for him, just because of that name.

Keith_  Rolo’s telling me to shut up laughing.

Keith_  I told him about Holo and he swore at me. His voice isn’t so nice when he’s yelling expletives.

 

Apr 24 1:23pm

Keith_  This time last year, I was… in recovery.

Keith_  I can’t believe it’s been a year since that happened. I hope Allura’s okay. I hope you’re okay.

Keith_  I love you all so much.

 

May 8 1:40pm

Lance_  We did our final exam today!

Keith_  How was the moon?

Lance_  Pretty… dull.

Keith_ Did you see the American flag?

Lance_  Um, I don’t think so…

Keith_  THAT’S BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER THERE TO BEGIN WITH!

Lance_  Oh god…

Lance_  Pidge is yelling the same thing.

Lance_  I was right, you are an X-File.

Keith_  Is that what the x-files is about? Conspiracies?

Lance_  Yeah, you need to watch it.

Keith_  Sounds like the perfect show.

Keith_  When will you get your results back?

Lance_  Couple of weeks, and then we graduate in June.

Keith_  Oh yeah, about your graduation…

Lance_  Don’t tell me…

Keith_  I’m sorry

Lance_  Just… try to be there for Raly’s wedding.

Keith_  Don’t tell me that stuck.

Lance sent a picture of the wedding invitation, with the word Raly in huge, italic script.

Keith_  Albert would have been a better alternative.

Lance_  Too bad!

Lance_  I’m mad at you! My graduation! The biggest day of my life and you can’t be there.

Keith_  I’m sorry, Lance! You know I’d be there if I could!

Lance_  I know, I’m sorry…

Lance_  I have to go.

 

Jun 19. 9:58am

Keith_  Thought I’d get my message in early, good luck today. I can’t believe how far you’ve come. I’m so immensely proud of you, I’m sorry I can’t be there today, but I’ll hopefully see you next month for Albert’s wedding.

Keith_  Still can’t get behind Raly, sorry.

 

Lance stared out the window, his phone clutched in his hand. The day had finally come, they were completely finished with college. Lance looked down at his moon rock, he held it gently in his hands, the blue glow glittering beautifully as the sun hit it. He gently put it back down when someone knocked at the door.

“Yeah?” He called out, adjusting his tie in the mirror. The door opened and Hunk and Pidge stepped inside, holding caps and gowns.

“You ready?” They both grinned. He rushed towards them and pulled them into a hug. He was happy, he was elated, but there was still so much doubt in the back of his mind.

He didn’t have time today to dwell on it. He just had to get through his graduation ceremony. His mother had rang to let him know that she was almost there. Lance could only have one family member attend so Robert and Alyssa agreed to look after the children for a couple of days, he owed so much to his mother, so much more than he cared to think about right now for want of trying not to cry.

He was devastated that Keith wouldn’t be there, it broke his heart to even think of it. It was strange to think that if things had been different, they’d probably be graduating together now, or even that they would have never met. He’d still be across state with Hunk graduating from a different college.

When he first met Keith it was like an unfortunate accident, something that should have never been. But it happened, and as much as it didn’t seem they’d ever be friends, Lance was glad that everything happened the way it did. It was messy, and painful sometimes but it was theirs. And now here he was, because of Keith.

If Keith hadn’t have started tutoring him, he might not have passed his re-sit. He wouldn’t have had the motivation to carry on when he doubted himself.

“Lance?” Hunk asked as he felt Lance’s shoulders shake. “You okay, buddy?”

“Y-yeah, I’m just…” Lance breathed as he pulled away from the both of them. They had sympathetic looks in their eyes.

“I’m sad he’s not here too, Lance,” Hunk said sympathetically. “I was just thinking that if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be here with you guys, my best friends, my family.”

“Me too,” Lance smiled, wiping under his eyes.

“’Eh, I’d probably still be here,” Pidge shrugged, Hunk and Lance both shot her evils. “But I wouldn’t have you guys, so I guess I can thank Keith for that one.”

They all turned when they heard a knock at the front door, Pidge moved to answer it as Hunk and Lance pulled on their gowns.

“This is the least flattering thing in the world.” Lance complained loudly. “You work for a year, get some sweet buns and rippling abs and don’t even get to show them off!”

“I don’t know if I’d say sweet or rippling, Lance.” Hunk laughed, Lance flipped him the bird in response, earning a laugh from Shiro and Allura, who entered the room.

“Look at you both!” Allura cooed. “You look adorable!”

“I’m sure adorable wasn’t what they were going for,” Shiro laughed.

“Yeah, I was going for devilishly handsome?” Lance suggested, folding his arms.

“I can work with adorable!” Hunk shrugged. Pidge joined them in her gown, it dragged on the floor thanks to her lack of height.

“Make sure you don’t trip on that when you get called on stage.” Lance pointed.

“Make sure your ginormous head doesn’t stop you from leaving the apartment at all.” Pidge gritted her teeth in response.

“Good one, Pidge,” Hunk praised. Finally after they were all ready, Allura and Shiro forced them out on the balcony for a photo opportunity. Lance finger-gunned the camera with a dazzling smile.

“Lance stop, just be normal.” Allura scoffed, Lance groaned, dropped his arms and smiled half-heartedly.

“I can’t believe it’s been four years!” Allura cooed, looking at the photo on her phone. “You all look so grown up now. You’re proper adults now!”

“No emotions, please.” Lance waved his hands. “I refuse to accept my diploma with blood-shot eyes.”

Shiro looked down at his watch. “We should really get going. The ceremony’s gonna be starting soon,”

The started the walk to the college campus, the sun was beating down, Lance cursed the fact that they were wearing black polyester.

As they got closer and closer to the campus, Lance’s hands shook more and more. His heart was racing, he desperately wished that he had Keith there, holding his shaking hands, calming him down, making him feel like he could do anything. He wasn’t even sure why it was that he was afraid, all he had to do was walk across a stage without tripping, collect his symbolic diploma, and leave. It just all seemed so daunting. There was nothing between him and the whole wide universe now.

“Lance, you’re going to be okay,” Shiro was suddenly beside him, a strong comforting arm around him. “I promise you, all you gotta do is walk, nothing else.”

Lance nodded. They finally arrived at the stage, a huge huddle of people already making up the crowd, Lance couldn’t see anyone he recognized. Shiro and Allura gave them all a hug and a kiss and disappeared. Lance was craning his neck to see if he could spot his mother.

“Graduates!” Iverson suddenly appeared, his loud voice booming, “Over here!”

Lance, Pidge and Hunk followed him and queued up. There were several rows of chairs at the front of the stage that they were supposed to sit in, Lance’s heart was racing as they filed out, he tried to look around to look for his mom but didn’t see her, his heart started beating even faster. Pidge grabbed his hand as he faltered, trying to get him to walk steadily. They sat down, removing their caps. Lance tried once more to look around until Hunk nudged him.

The dean of the university began to talk, Lance tuned it out, concentrating on the rhythm of his breathing, Iverson was stood beside the dean, his hands clasped behind his back, working eye wide open, gazing across the students. Finally the dean stopped talking, Pidge grabbed Lance’s hand once more, forced him to put his cap on and moved to the edge of the stage, ready to collect his diploma.

He stared at his hands, willing them not to shake. They were put into alphabetic order, Hunk stood in front of him and Pidge stood three people back, he was so tempted to grab onto the back of Hunk’s gown to keep him steady, but instead clenched his fists and stared at the floor. Everything felt so goofy, the hat, the gown, everything. Hunk moved as he was called onto the stage and Lance was stood at the front of the queue, bereft. He daren’t look at the crowd, he didn’t want to see anyone’s reactions to his nerves.

Finally he heard his name, he slowly stepped onto the stage, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. He stared straight ahead, at the dean who was holding out her hand to shake and a diploma in the other. Even his heart was seemingly beating in slow motion. Eventually he reached the dean, shook her hand and took his diploma.

It was only at this point he glanced at the crowd, and was filled with relief when he saw his Mom stood with Shiro and Allura. He let out the breath he was holding, smiled at the dean’s kind words and started to walk off the other end, when he thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He glanced back to where his mother was stood, she was beaming, Shiro and Allura cuddling next to her but his mom was clinging onto someone else.

“Keith?” He spoke out loud, he’d stopped stock still on the stage, staring out. Was his mind playing tricks on him? It couldn’t be. Sofia’s eyes were filled with tears and Keith was there. He was dressed in his dress uniform, one arm around Lance’s mom, looking like he himself was trying not to cry.

“Lance! C’mon” Hunk was grabbing his gown and dragging him down the stairs.

“Hunk! Keith is here!” Lance cried, letting Hunk lead him away from the stage. He still wasn’t sure if what he’d seen was even real. “Hunk! He’s here!”

“I know! C’mon!” Hunk sounded urgent. Lance had completely forgotten where they were, his cap crooked on his head, he glanced back over to see Keith and Sofia chatting happily, Sofia was dabbing her cheeks with a tissue. He was here, it wasn’t some kind of desperate mirage.

“What do you mean you know?” Lance screeched as Hunk dragged him back to his chair.

“It’s a surprise for you, you nitwit! Sit down!” Hunk whisper-yelled, Lance stood in front of his chair defiantly.

“I’m gonna go to him!” Lance gushed, Hunk grabbed his cloak before he could run.

“Lance, this isn’t a romantic comedy, you can’t just run off!” Hunk was trying not to laugh at Lance’s dramatics. “Sit down, you’ll see him after the ceremony.”

Lance groaned loudly, which earned a stare from some of the crowd near-by, Keith had a huge grin on his face, Lance smiled back, his stomach full of butterflies and sat back down. Pidge joined them after collecting her diploma, she waved quickly at Keith and looked at Lance.

“How long have you had this planned for?” Lance whispered to them both through gritted teeth.

“Since we went to the space station, now shut up!” Pidge gritted back. Lance almost burst out laughing. They’d had it planned for that long? Surely not, how did they know that things would have even work out between them?

After all the students accepted their diploma’s, the dean retook the podium and continued talking for what seemed like hours, Lance groaned the entire way through, wishing for it to be over.

“And please don’t throw your caps.” The dean finally said, a serious look in her eye. “This isn’t a movie, this is real life and I swear you will end up like Iverson, and have your diploma taken away if you do.”

Lance laughed, but was kind of gutted he wouldn’t get to have his movie moment. Finally they were allowed to leave, Lance stood up immediately and noticed that Keith and his mom had disappeared, as had Shiro and Allura.

“Where’d they…”

“C’mon, Lance, lets go!” Hunk hurried him along, they pushed past the other students and wandered off, Lance had no idea where it was they were going until they came to an open part of the field, Keith was stood with Sofia, Shiro and Allura, who were all chatting away.

Lance allowed himself a moment to soak it in, Keith, with freshly cropped hair, in his dress uniform, he looked unbelievably handsome.

“Lance, what are you doing? Aren’t you going to go say hi?” Pidge nudged him, Lance took in a deep breath, working up the courage.

“I’m just, enjoying the view.” Lance smiled, trying not to be cheesy, which of course didn’t work.

“Gross…” Hunk whined.

Finally Keith heard the commotion and saw Lance and turned to him. Lance was always surprised at the feeling in his stomach when he was seeing Keith. It always felt like the first time, it was strange to keep falling in love with the same person over and over again, but that was the only way he could describe it. Lance finally threw his diploma to the ground and raced over, and leapt into Keith’s arms. Keith stumbled for a second but managed to catch him anyhow.

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Lance cried wrapping his arms tightly round Keith’s neck, he didn’t care if it was cheesy. He was so happy. “It’s like a romantic movie! I can’t believe it!”

“If I’m an x-file, you’re a romcom.” Keith laughed. Had his voice gotten deeper? The sound of it vibrated against Lance’s chest and sent shivers down his spine. Maybe that was why it felt like falling in love every time, because Keith was always so different.

Lance pulled away and looked into his eyes, he noticed a new scar in his eyebrow, he looked so grown up and handsome, but he still had that innocent look of wonderment in his eyes.

“Does that mean I can throw my cap?” Lance whispered, Keith laughed loudly at that.

“Maybe when the dean of the university isn’t within earshot,” Keith whispered back. Lance groaned and let Keith lower him to the ground. He looked at Keith once they were stood next to each other, had he grown too? They were now perfectly eye-to-eye.

“Are you okay?” Keith asked, confused at Lance’s staring. “You look… really intense?”

“How are you MORE beautiful every time I see you?!” Lance cried, Keith was surprised at the apparent anger in his voice.

“I’m sorry?” Keith tried to sound apologetic.

“You should be, it throws me off every time, you got some nerve making me feel like this.” Lance hissed. Keith just laughed. Sofia finally butted in and threw her arms around Lance.

“I’m so proud of you!” She bawled pulling him in tightly. Lance laughed and hugged her back, happy that she was there.

“I’m here because of you, mama.” Lance smiled softly against her shoulder. She pulled away and cupped his face, tears in her eyes again.

After a lot of gushing and chatting, they decided to head back to the apartment, Allura and Shiro had managed to sort a kind of after party, they managed to get pizzas and food delivered whilst they were at the ceremony, Lance couldn’t help but feel a little violated, imagining some pizza guy wandering round their apartment.

They drank and ate and chatted, it all seemed so perfect, Lance couldn’t have imagined a better group of people to celebrate with.

Suddenly Keith grabbed Lance’s hand, a very serious look in his eyes.

“Hey, Lance…” Keith spoke quietly, so no one else could hear them. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about…”

Lance’s stomach flipped, he felt like vomiting. Keith sounded very serious, he wouldn’t break up with Lance on the day that he graduated, surely no one was that heartless.

“I didn’t want to ask you in front of everyone,” Keith’s cheeks were slightly dusted pink, Lance’s heart started racing. Was he going to? Surely not?

“Balcony?” Lance suggested, his voice wavering slightly with nerves. Keith looked even more nervous than Lance felt. Lance’s mind was racing, was he going to propose? Now? Keith nodded, stood and reached out for Lance’s hand to help him off the sofa. No one else seemed to notice them step out onto the balcony.

The sun was beginning to set, the sky was a beautiful deep orange, the horizon starting to blend into a deep red and Lance’s heart was beating so fast. Keith was stood in front of him, his eyes sincere, a smile daring to play on his lips. Lance was watching Keith’s hands very closely, was he about to reach for something in his pocket?

“I wanted to ask you on your own,” Keith smiled, his voice husky with apparent anxieties. “Just in case you said no, I wanted you to be sure before we told everyone else.”

Oh fuck, he was going to propose, on Lance’s balcony of all places. It WAS like a romantic comedy, everything felt like slow motion again. Lance watched as one of Keith’s hands slowly, meticulously… flew up to his head in a salute. Lance was very much taken aback, was this how military proposals happened?

“Lance McClain,” Keith grinned, arm strong in a salute. “I, Captain Keith Kogane, am here today on behalf of the Galaxy Garrison-“

This was very formal, but Lance’s heart was still racing. His cheeks warm with the shock of it all.

“To offer you a place amongst our ranks as a first class Aerial Gunner.” Keith finally finished. Lance’s heart stopped. Okay, so this wasn’t a proposal. Well, technically it was, but not the kind of proposal that Lance was expecting. He let go of the breath he was holding.

“Holy shit… um…” Lance’s brain wasn’t working, his hands were shaking and he couldn’t deny that he was a little disappointed. “Yes, I mean, yes, I would be honoured.”

Keith grinned and twitched the hand that was still in a salute. Lance took that as a sign that he should salute back, in order to seal the deal, so he did, shakily and nervously.

Keith finally dropped his probably aching hand and wrapped his arms around Lance’s stomach and lifted him up.

“I thought you were proposing!” Lance laughed with the slightest hint of melancholy. Keith laughed loudly at that. “Alright, don’t laugh like it’s something that would never happen!”

“No, I’m laughing because,” Keith smiled, as he dropped Lance to the ground. “Of all the places in the entire universe, you really think I’d propose to you not only on earth, but on your freaking balcony?!”

“Why?! What’s wrong with that?!” Lance cried. “You make it sound like you’ve already got it planned out!”

“N-no, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Keith stammered, “ANYWAY, I better go and ask Hunk and Pidge the same question.”

He rushed off and Lance followed, his cheeks very warm all of a sudden.

“Wait, you’re a Captain?!” Lance cried.

“Extenuating circumstances!” Keith yelled in response.

“NEPOTISM, HO!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr - foxsmo-lder  
> Thanks for your constant support, i know it's been awful, but i'm glad you're all still enjoying it.  
> 100,000 words... wow.  
> http://tinyurl.com/yam3ensr  
> ^^^ heres the image of the three french hens if u were curious


	23. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If he was going to do one more thing tonight, he had to choose, and he decided he wanted to dance with Lance, properly, at least once. He could speak to Robert Sr. another time, they had all the time in the world.
> 
> But right now, their song was playing and Lance was nearly asleep, Keith didn’t want to miss his chance, it just all seemed so perfect. He stood up and turned to the love of his life, who was close to drooling, his tie around his head instead of his neck, shirt untucked, drunk and sloppy.
> 
> “Lance?” Keith asked, Lance’s eyes slowly opened and took him in fully under the pale purple lights behind him. “Dance with me?”

“Stop freaking out, it’ll be fine,” Pidge rolled her eyes, watching Lance pace the living room, wringing his hands nervously.

“I’ve not heard from him, for twenty four hours Pidge!”

“So?”

“What if something happened on the descent?! What if the ship exploded?!”

“Lance, stop freaking out, I’m sure everything’s okay!”

“But what if it’s not?!”

“Lance!” Pidge shouted, reaching out and grabbing his arms, staring him straight in the eyes. “Stop. He’s probably in the car on the way over right now!”

“Then why hasn’t he called?!” Lance cried, dropping onto the sofa, knocking his overnight bag with his leg. “Why didn’t he let me know he was on his way?!”

“You know what Keith is like, he loves to surprise you!” Pidge laughed, shaking her head. Lance was being an over-bearing soccer parent. Lance huffed at that, Pidge technically wasn’t wrong. Keith was a huge fan of surprises.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, Lance leapt up and raced to the door and flung it open, Keith was stood there, looking exhausted and worn out, bags under his eyes, his slowly growing-out hair all over the place, he grinned at Lance’s bewildered face, and fell into him.

“Woah, Keith are you okay?” Lance asked, Keith nodded against him, inhaling a deep breath, he stood back up and gazed at Lance.

“I haven’t slept in three days,” Keith whispered, a slight cackle on his lips. “I was afraid of nightmares, so I just stayed awake.”

“You can’t just stay awake for three days, Keith!” Lance cried, trying to be excited to see him. “We were supposed to be leaving in a bit! The wedding is tomorrow morning!”

“I had some tests.” Keith suddenly blurted, his eyelids heavy. “They took some of my D.N.A for testing.”

“W-what?” Lance gulped, tests? What kind of tests.

“S’classified, I shouldn’t have said anything,” Keith yawned stretching his arms out and around Lance’s body. “You should probably drive.”

“Keith you can’t just say shit like that and then play it off like it’s nothing!” Lance squealed against Keith’s limp form. He adjusted his arms underneath Keith and lifted him. “Come on! Wake up!”

“You SHOULD probably drive,” Pidge sighed, appearing from the kitchen carrying Lance’s overnight bag. Lance sighed, and carried Keith to his car, Pidge loaded the bag into the trunk of the car and waved them off. Hunk raced out with a card for Robert and Alyssa and joined Pidge in the almost ceremonial waving off, as Lance shakily reversed out of the parking space.

He reached for the radio and switched it on, singing along to whatever song happened to be playing, he turned to Keith’s sleeping form.

“Keiiiith!” Lance called, trying to wake him, he hazarded a nudge, letting go of the wheel for a second.  “Keiiiith, I need you to call my mom, let her know we’re leaving!”

No response, but Keith’s eyebrows were knit together, as if concerned.

“Keith, wake up!” Lance nudged him a little harder, Keith yelped loudly and nearly fell off the seat in fear. Lance couldn’t help but laugh at his shock.

“Jesus fuck, Lance!” Keith breathed, clutching his chest, trying to calm his heartbeat down. “What? What did you want?”

“Can you call my mom, let her know we’ve just left?” Lance asked, smiling innocently. Keith sighed and grabbed his mobile, calling Sofia. Lance concentrated on the road as he heard Keith and his mom exchanging pleasantries. It still made Lance so happy that they got on so well.

“Can’t wait to see you either,” Keith smiled, his eyes still heavy. “Yeah, I’m fine, I’m just really tired, don’t worry about me.”

Keith smiled, biting his lip nervously. “L-love you too…?”

Lance’s heart swelled at that. Keith hung up a little bashfully.

“DID YOU JUST TELL MY MOM YOU LOVED HER?!” Lance was trying not to scream.

“She said it first!” Keith cried. Lance audibly screamed, Keith put his fingers in his ears. “Stop! It’s not a big deal!”

“I’m sorry! I’m just so happy!” Lance’s voice had gone an entire octave higher and Keith thought he might actually go deaf.

“You’re so goofy!” Keith cried, his voice still sleepy. “Let me sleep!”

“I’ve only got a learner’s permit!” Lance cried, “I am your student, you can’t be sleeping!”

“I believe in you, babe,” Keith sighed, leaning into the window, feeling it rattle against his head. Lance started screaming again. “WHY WITH THE SCREAMING?!”

“YOU CALLED ME BABE!” Lance cried, his grip on the wheel so tight his knuckles were white, he was almost bouncing off the seat.

“And I will NEVER make that mistake EVER AGAIN!” Keith cried, shielding his ears, Lance groaned loudly, but didn’t make any more noises.

Keith fell slowly to sleep to the sound of Lance singing terrible love ballads.

 

The next time Keith awoke, was to the feeling of Lance pressing a cold can of soda to the back of his neck, he yelped again and fully fell off the seat. Lance’s laughter making his head ache.

“Lance! You’re the worst!” Keith cried from the footwell, he struggled, but he was well and truly stuck. Lance pulled him out and handed him the soda he’d just assaulted him with.

“Prince lotion was working again today, he wondered where you were,” Lance laughed, gesturing to the gas station shop. “He asked if we’d broken up.”

“Prince lotion?” Keith asked, feeling severely out of sorts.

“Yeah, y’know, prince lotion,” Lance smirked, enjoying Keith’s complete and total confusion.

“Of course, prince lotion.” Keith sighed, settling back down as Lance laughed and pulled away.

As he was shaken awake once more, all he could see was purple, and suddenly Lance’s excited face. Keith took that as a sign that they’d arrived, and quickly planted a kiss on Lance’s lips. Lance clambered out of the car, grabbed their bags and raced into the house, the door was wide open. From what Keith could see, there were people milling around in droves, organizing and sorting.

Keith rubbed his eyes, suddenly extremely nervous. He knew that Lance’s family was absolutely huge, he’d only met the closest family members and Alyssa, he’d not met any of his aunts, his grandparents, no one. His tired hands shook as he opened the car door, it was baking hot outside, and he was wearing a lot of black, a mistake he only began to regret after stepping out into 90 degree heat. Lance came back outside and waved him in.

Keith just stared at him, trying not to let the anxiety overtake him, Lance eventually had to drag him indoors.

“Don’t be scared, Keith, I promise it’s not like a soap opera!” Lance laughed, dragging him into the kitchen. He could hear Sofia yelling something at the children, obviously the stress of getting everything ready for tomorrow was getting to her, when she spun and spotted Keith, her face fell into a huge smile.

“Mi pobrecito!” She cried, holding her arms out for Keith, who glanced at Lance.

“She’s saying you look rough, dude,” Lance laughed. Keith just shrugged and fell into Sofia’s arms, he felt rough.

“Are you okay, mama, you seem stressed.” Lance asked, grabbing some food from the table, only to be given a death stare by Sofia.

“Stressed, doesn’t even begin to describe it.” She was stroking Keith’s hair like it was the one thing calming her down, Keith didn’t mind, almost falling asleep against her shoulder. He was exhausted.

“Ah! Mama, this is Keith!” Sofia suddenly exclaimed, she nudged her shoulder to make Keith stand up straight, Keith turned and locked eyes with a terrifying looking woman, her eyebrow was raised.

“Keith, huh?” The woman’s voice was softer than he expected. “So it is you who is turning my grandson to a life of sin?”

“You know it,” Lance laughed. The woman stared a Lance for a couple of seconds, then her seemingly angry façade crumbled as she pulled Lance into a hug. She let go of Lance and came up to cup Keith’s cheeks, he had a feeling this was going to be happening a lot.

“He has nice eyes.” She said, definitively. “But he’s a little pasty. We need to get you in the sunshine.”

“This is my mama, you can call her Ava,” Sofia smiled, gesturing to the woman, Keith could see the relation. They were both kind women who looked like they could break a man in two.

“My daughter says great things about you,” Ava held her hand out softly for Keith to shake, Keith wished he could return the sentiment, and felt a little awful for not asking about the family sooner.

Suddenly a huddle of people appeared in the doorway, all talking loudly, Alyssa was at the front of the crowd, trying to control her breathing, she locked eyes with Keith.

“KEITH!” It was more a statement more than anything else, a way to get everyone else to stop talking.

“Alyssa?” Keith tried. She smirked and beckoned him over to the waiting crowd.

“I’m gonna give you the quick run around, because otherwise you’ll be here forever.” Alyssa smirked, Lance was watching amused, Ava had an eyebrow raised. Alyssa put her arm around Keith and spun him, he was suddenly being stared at by a thirteen strong crowd of people.

“Lauren and Daniel-“ Alyssa pointed at two people, both with blonde hair similar to hers’ “-my siblings. Lisa-“ She pointed at a tall brunette woman “My mother. Lucia and Mia-“ two fierce looking glamourous women “the clans’ aunties. Issy, Manny and Armin-“ Three similar looking children “The clans’ cousins and Lucia’s children. Charlie and Katrina-“ Another two, seemingly a couple. “My aunt and uncle. Adriana-“ A younger, quieter looking girl “My cousin, Charlie and Katrina’s daughter. Andrew-“ A man with a thick moustache. “One of Lance’s uncles and Mia’s husband. And finally, Robert Sr.” Keith recognized him, Lance’s dad. “and this isn’t even all of them.” Alyssa huffed out a breath, Keith was grateful for the introductions.

“Everyone, this is Keith, Lance’s boyfriend.” Alyssa finally said, by way of introducing him, she gestured to him dramatically. Keith stood awkwardly and waved. He glanced at Robert Sr. who was regarding him with a strong look, almost surprised that he came, Keith’s stomach filled with butterflies, he remembered Lance mentioning something about his dad being a little wary of partners.

Suddenly, as if none of that had ever happened, they grabbed Alyssa and dragged her away.

“Help me,” She cried, grabbing for Keith’s hands as she got dragged away, Robert Sr. hung back and glanced between Lance and Keith. Keith looked at Lance who raised his hands as if to say ‘don’t look at me’.

“Nice to meet you, Admiral McClain.” Keith’s military persona took over, it was like his defence when encountering someone of a higher station. He saluted out of pure habit, Lance, Ava and Sofia stared, waiting for Robert’s reaction.

“Likewise, Captain Kogane.” Robert’s voice was low, his eyes serious as he saluted Keith back, much to Keith and everyone else’s relief, and walked away, Keith turned to the three of them and they each held up awkward thumbs ups. Keith turned back around to watch Robert Sr.’s retreating form, the feeling of determination filling his stomach, trying to swallow his nerves.

He was going to have a serious chat with that man.

 

Alyssa had been taken away to the wedding venue and Robert was sat on the porch, a bottle of beer in his hand, his leg bouncing up and down, Keith was sat opposite him, leant against the column supporting the upper floor

“You nervous?” Keith asked, sensing the tension in the air. Robert looked down at him, smirking.

“Not as nervous as you are.” Robert laughed. Keith raised his eyebrows, taking a deep breath and sipping the beer in his hand.

“I’m not nervous…” Keith faltered.

“Then neither am I,” Robert chuckled his leg twitching violently. “And we are both bad liars.”

“What do you think he’ll say?” Keith looked up at Robert with hope in his eyes.

“Who?”

“Both?”

“If I know them like I know that I know them, it’ll be a resounding no.”

“I’ll make sure you get left at the altar.”

“Phew, at least I can relax now.” Robert grinned and Keith shook his head. He still found it amazing how easily he could adjust to this life, his other dream. To be happy, make a home for himself, be surrounded by people that loved him. He looked at Robert and felt a twinge of jealousy.

“Keith, c’mon lets go to bed! I need my beauty sleep for tomorrow!” Lance called through the back door, Keith downed the rest of his beer and stood.

“Hah, whipped already.” Robert snickered at Keith’s retreating form, Keith didn’t even have to glance back at him when he flipped him the bird, Robert’s laughter was confirmation he’d seen.

Keith laid awake for what seemed hours, Lance sleeping soundly in his arms, where he should be. He was desperately terrified of sleeping, he’d manage to sleep soundly on the car ride over because it was pure darkness, exhausted survival sleep. The kind that put you into a sort of coma, where you didn’t remember anything and time slipped by in a second.

Too often, he’d felt safe enough to fall to sleep, and would be met by visions of terror, memories of waking up bathed in his own blood, it still shook him. He envied Lance, knowing that he slept with no problems or worries. Keith took a deep breath and started to sing quietly, trying not to wake Lance, it felt strange to sing without Rolo harmonizing with him, in fact he kind of missed it, singing on his own felt lonely all of a sudden, he looked down at Lance who’s eyes were wide open.

“Don’t let me stop you,” Lance’s voice was sleepy and adorable. “My mom used to sing that to me to get me to sleep.”

Keith smiled and carried on till he felt Lance go heavy in his arms once more, and slowly started to drift off himself.

 

Lance awoke, the sunlight streaming through his curtains, the sound of clattering in the kitchen, it was happening. He turned to Keith who was drooling, but looked okay, no scratches, no blood, nothing. The singing must have worked.

He didn’t want to disturb Keith’s peacefulness, but they had to start getting ready, things were about to kick off, he was gonna hear some choice Spanish words soon.

“Keith, c’mon, we gotta get ready.” He urged, keeping his voice soft. Keith’s eyebrows knit together and he groaned loudly, sleepily, cutely.

“No.” His voice was determined. Lance laughed and nudged him, “No. I’m not going, I’m too comfy here and you’re too warm.” His arms were tight around Lance’s waist.

“Keith, you’re so cute, but we have to go,” Lance turned to the clock on his bedside table. “We have an hour to get ready! Come on!”

Keith groaned and stretched, Lance watched the deep scars on his abdomen move across his muscular stomach. He compulsively reached for them, touching the vaguely discoloured skin, it looked like forks of lightning. Keith twitched and let out a yelp that sounded like a laugh.

“Okay, I’m awake!” Keith bit his lip, batting Lance’s hand away. “Shower?”

Lance nodded enthusiastically.

 

Lance was tying Keith’s tie for him, when he finished, he stood back and took him in, and he wiped a dramatic, fake tear from his eye.

“What?” Keith laughed, stretching his arms out.

“Not as good as your dress uniform, but damn.” Lance breathed, his voice high. Keith shook his head and stood in front of the window, he messed with his hair and pulled on his suit jacket, feeling self conscious.

“But red is MY favourite colour, why do you get to wear it?” Keith messed with his ocean-coloured tie, he was complaining, but his eyes betrayed his affection for the colour.

“Because,” Lance grinned, adjusting the red tie around his neck. “You’re my favourite person, so I wear your favourite colour.”

“That’s gross,” Keith grimaced, looking Lance up and down with fake disgust. Lance shook his head, a grin on his face.

“Need I remind you what you asked me last time you were in this very room?” Lance threatened. “Something about doing a certain something under the stars?”

“Okay, yeah, let’s not bring that one up.” Keith’s cheek flushed a deep red. “Let’s go then!”

“KEEEEITH!” Sofia shrieked up the stairs, Keith and Lance exchanged a look, Keith disappeared down the stairs. Lance stood in front of the mirror, he always liked himself in a suit. He adjusted his tie and raised an eyebrow at himself, he almost finger-gunned and had to stop himself, just in case someone happened past.

“LANCE! I GOTTA GO, SEE YOU AT THE VENUE!” Keith yelled up the stairs and the front door slammed shut. Lance twisted quickly and raced down the stairs.

“Keith?” He called, but it was too late, Keith’s car was gone. Sofia appeared behind him, cooing about how gorgeous he looked. “Mama, what have you done with Keith?!”

“He’s gone to help out at the venue, Mijo.” Sofia replied dismissively. “Alyssa was originally going to walk herself down the aisle, but her mother insisted. So, I told Keith to go.”

Lance was gobsmacked, he knew Keith and Alyssa got on, but for Keith to actually walk her down the aisle? That was incredibly personal and important, he was doing what Alyssa’s father would have done, that was huge.

“Lance, you act like you’re the only one Keith contacts.” Sofia shook her head. Lance was struck dumb once more.

“W-what?! You’ve been speaking to him too?” Lance cried, following her into the kitchen. “How? When? Where?!”

“We don’t have time to talk about that right now!” Sofia snapped, Lance gasped dramatically, Sofia couldn’t help but smirk at that. “Everything has to be perfect, now go get your brother, make sure he’s not run off somewhere.”

Lance sighed and slumped up the stairs, he wandered to Robert’s old room and slammed on the door, no answer, he knocked again, and there was still no answer. He pushed the door open, and his heart stopped when he saw not only the room completely empty, the window wide open, the curtain fluttering in the wind, like a scene from a movie.

“Robert?” Lance’s voice was quiet, like he didn’t want to ask the question for fear of the answer, or even the fear of no answer. He walked in slowly, all of Robert’s childhood things scattered about, his baseball glove, old comic books and drawings, strewn about the floor. “Robert?”

Lance looked out the window, it was too far up for Robert to have successfully jumped without breaking his legs, he moved closer and leaned out.

“Robert?!” he shouted into the distance, hoping that it would work, suddenly he heard a whisper from behind, he craned his neck around.

“Lance, up here.” He heard a voice, Lance sighed and stared down at his suit.

“I’m in my nice suit dude!” Lance cried out of the window, to be met by silence.

“Me too!” The voice called back after a couple of seconds. Lance shook his head and clambered out of the window, maybe if he and the groom looked grubby together it wouldn’t be so bad.

He peaked the roof and found Robert sat on the top, a pack of cigarettes in his lap, one burning between his fingertips, looking guilty.

“Wow, you look the picture of a sensible, not at all nervous man,” Lance laughed, trying not to lose his balance.

“Shut up.” Robert smiled, his leg was twitching even more violently than the night before. “I’m just, having a breather.”

“Nice word for it,” Lance gestured to the cigarette, still burning. Robert shook his head and took a drag. Lance slumped himself next to his brother, and gazed towards the horizon. Seemingly endless farmlands before them, it was like it never ended. Like the universe.

“Why are you nervous?” Lance asked, after a couple of minutes and after Robert lit up yet another cigarette.

“I don’t know…” Robert sighed, taking a drag. “I’m not afraid to marry Alyssa, I think I’m just scared that this is all that it is.”

Lance nodded, he could understand that, he was a star chaser after all. But then, when he was here, with Keith, he would have been pretty content knowing that this was all there is.

“I don’t have advice for you dude,” Lance shrugged. “I think you’ve just gotta be okay knowing that this is probably all there is. Things aren’t going to change, you’re just putting what you have already on paper.”

“Inspiring.” Robert huffed, putting out yet another cigarette.

“But, what’s wrong with all this?” Lance gestured, it felt very lion king-esque. “It could certainly be a lot worse.”

“Could be brushing arms with death almost every day,” Robert suggested.

“At least you have consistency,”

“I could go out one day and get hit by a truck, it’s all relative.”

“I guess…”

Lance and Robert revelled in the silence-less silence, the sound of cicadas buzzing in the distance.

“I’m sure I was supposed to come here and make you feel better,” Lance laughed. “But you’ve been with Alyssa longer than I’ve been with Keith, and I can say with all certainty, that if I married Keith tomorrow, knowing that this-“ Lance gestured once more. “Was all I had to look forward to.”

Robert looked at Lance, not reaching for another cigarette.

“I’d be happy with that.”

 

Keith was stood in the bridal room, bridesmaids and well-dressed women buzzing all around him, chatting away to each other excitedly. He felt mildly uncomfortable, mostly because people were pretty much blanking him completely, he’d been introduced to yet more of Lance’s extended family and was struggling to try and remember them all.

“Keith?” Keith heard his voice being called, he turned and saw Alyssa. Her blonde hair pinned up with soft curls falling around her face, wearing a beautiful, slinky wedding gown, adorned with lace.

“Wow,” Keith breathed. Alyssa scoffed.

“You’re such a cliché!” Alyssa smiled. “Thanks for coming. I thought I’d be okay, walking down the aisle on my own, but…”

“I know,” Keith smiled, reaching out for her hand, as a way of reassuring her. “I couldn’t be happier to be here.”

“It just… it sucks you know?” Alyssa smiled, willing away her tears. “It kind of… tore my family apart. Other people would ask their brothers’ to walk them down the aisle, but… I didn’t feel like that would be right. You’re more a brother to me than him.”

Keith almost pinched himself, had all of this just been one ridiculous, long dream? He never imagined he’d have someone say something like this to him. Shiro was the closest thing he’d ever had to family, and he ran away from that. He didn’t deserve to hear things like this. He just smiled and gripped her hand tightly.

The time kept creeping closer and closer, Keith could hear the noise of people milling about in the room behind him. Alyssa was staring out the window, trying to steady her breath, her mother came and kissed her, squeezed Keith’s arm and followed the bridesmaids out. Keith could hear their cue coming.

“Aly, you ready?” Keith asked, she turned, cheeks pink.

“God, you sound like him.”

"What?"

"My father used to call me Aly."

 

Lance was stood at the front of the congregation, his eyes trained un-moving on the door that Keith and Alyssa were about to walk out of, Robert was stood beside him, his hands gripped together tight. They’d managed to douse him in enough cologne to get rid of the pungent stench of cigarettes, but now he smelt like the after-shave section of a department store.

Suddenly the doors opened and the music swelled, Keith and Alyssa were looking at each other and laughing, her arm resting on his, they stayed like that, laughing at each other as they started down the aisle, after a little while, Alyssa tore her eyes away to gaze at all the family members that were there, smiling happily. Keith locked eyes with Lance and didn’t break the eye contact the entire way.

Lance could feel the redness on his cheeks as he watched Keith advance toward him, it was the cheesiest thing in the entire world, but he couldn’t help but imagine their wedding day. Lance wanted to cover his face because he couldn’t cope with the thought of it. Finally, Keith handed Alyssa’s hand over to Roberts, kissed her on the cheek and scampered off, sitting on the end of the aisle next to the bridesmaids.

Lance sat down, but couldn’t tear his eyes away from Keith, who was gazing at Alyssa and Robert affectionately. Lance could see his father staring at Keith too, trying to read him, trying to see if the love on his face was genuine. They both didn’t tear their eyes away from Keith throughout the entire ceremony.

 

Keith was stood, with a glass of champagne in his hand, staring around him. He had a mission, get Robert Sr. on his own, without anyone else around. But with this much family, it seemed like that would not be possible. Lance was currently chatting away quickly with his aunts and uncles, Keith counted seven in total, he’d been introduced to each, and then to their children, and then sometimes to their children’s children. It was overwhelming and Keith struggled to retain it all.

He took another sip and gazed over at Robert and Alyssa, who had taken themselves off to sit on a wrought iron fence under the shade of a Chinese elm. Keith quickly pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. They looked so excited to be talking to each other, like it was the first time.

“I wanted to thank you,” Lisa, Alyssa’s very stoic-looking mother suddenly appeared beside him, making him almost throw his champagne everywhere. “She looked happy, walking down the aisle with you.”

“It was my pleasure,” Keith sputtered in response, a hint of a smile played on her lips before she nodded and walked away. Lance couldn’t help but laugh at the exchange.

 

Keith was sat at his table, Lance to his left, holding his hand, beaming up at Robert’s best friend giving a speech. Keith couldn’t stop sparing glances at Robert Sr., who was smiling softly at the many memories of his son being shared. It had been hours, and he’d not been able to corner Robert all evening, he was getting antsy in anticipation, he just wanted to get it over and done with.

“What’s up?” Lance nudged him to get his attention. “You’re extremely tense, dude.”

“W-what? Y-yeah, no I’m fine.” Keith tried to smile, but his nerves were getting the better of him, he didn’t want to wimp out on this one.

 

Keith had been dragged into all of the family photos, his cheeks were beginning to ache, this current photo was all the siblings, so Keith wasn’t entirely sure why he was in this particular photo, but they all insisted. He looked over and saw Robert Sr. sat on his own, this would have been the perfect opportunity, especially since he was looking over at Keith with increased interest. He felt his cheeks burning, and everyone yelling ‘cheese’.

 

Keith was sat at his table, Lance was dancing with his youngest sister, he looked over at Robert Sr. who was talking animatedly with his sisters, could he go over there and ask to speak to Robert alone? They locked eyes again, and Keith looked away quickly, his heart in his mouth, he took a sip of champagne and continued to watch Lance, Rebecca and Taylor dancing goofily.

 

Keith was scrabbling around in his wallet whilst Lance did a strange drunken jig next to him.

“Lance! I don’t have any notes!” He started to panic, finding only credit cards and receipts.

“What do you mean!” Lance cried, the champagne had gone to his head. “I told you to get cash out!”

Keith could feel eyes on him, so he desperately searched in his pockets and breathed a huge sigh of relief as he found a twenty in his suit jacket pocket. He showed the twenty to Lance who laughed as he was dragged off by Alyssa.

“PIN MONEY ON ME BITCH!” Alyssa cried, holding his hands tightly and spinning him around. Keith laughed and desperately tried to pin the money to her dress without disturbing the lace. She squealed with glee, danced with him for a little longer before moving on to the next person. Keith stumbled dizzily back to Lance who gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up.

“Hey, you never told me you were in contact with my family!” Lance shouted over the music, Keith folded his arms, watching more and more men pin money to Alyssa’s dress, though they all weren’t as gentle as he was.

“It’s not my fault you never asked!” Keith laughed in response. Lance shrugged, he couldn’t argue with that.

 

The night was slowly coming closer and closer to the end, which meant it was nearing 2am and Lance was almost asleep. Alyssa and Robert were dancing together on the dance floor alone, laughing and smiling at each other, the exhaustion not hitting them just yet. Keith looked at Lance and then at Robert Sr. who was sat at the head table alone. If he was going to do one more thing tonight, he had to choose, and he decided he wanted to dance with Lance, properly, at least once. He could speak to Robert another time, they had all the time in the world.

But right now, their song was playing and Lance was nearly asleep, Keith didn’t want to miss his chance, it just all seemed so perfect. He stood up and turned to the love of his life, who was close to drooling, his tie around his head instead of his neck, shirt untucked, drunk and sloppy.

“Lance?” Keith asked, Lance’s eyes slowly opened and took him in fully under the pale purple lights behind him. “Dance with me?”

 

Keith was carrying Lance to his room when he heard a voice behind him, calling his name.

“Keith.” It was a statement, he turned to see Robert Sr. with a very serious look on his face advancing towards him. He didn’t know what was happening until Robert put Lance’s other arm around him and helped him carry Lance to their room.

“Thanks,” Keith smiled, a little nervous. Not expecting to see Lance’s father at such a late/early hour. They dropped Lance on the bed and Keith took the tie off from round his head, looking at the colour fondly.

“Keith.” Robert said once more, Keith turned to him. “I wanted to speak to you, alone.”

Keith gulped, terrified of what was going to come next. Instead of saying anymore, Robert gestured for him to follow, which Keith did after making sure Lance was in a position that if he vomited whilst asleep, he wouldn’t choke.

They stepped outside the hotel, into the gardens, where everything was lit up with a thousand fairy-lights. Suddenly a cigar was being pressed into his hand, and Keith paled. He’d never smoked a cigarette, let alone a cigar, but he couldn’t refuse. Robert clipped the end and lit it for him, Keith took a deep inhale and held back the choke that threatened to embarrass him in front of the one person he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of.

Keith knew that this was his opportunity, and Robert Sr. was handing it to him on a silver platter, so why was he hesitating.

“I take it you had a question for me,” Robert started, as if reading Keith’s mind. Keith’s stomach was churning with butterflies, his shaking hands fumbling with the cigar. “I’ve caught you looking at me multiple times this evening with that same deer caught in the headlights look.”

“I-I’m sorry, I thought I was being subtle.” Keith laughed. “I would have tried sooner, but the timing was never quite right.”

“Story of my life,” Robert chuckled, his laugh was deep and commanding, Keith felt lucky to be hearing it. “So, go ahead, ask away.”

Keith gulped, Robert looked completely relaxed, taking a deep inhale from his cigar, the wind whipping past them, the stars bright and beautiful. Keith glanced up and saw Ara, and felt it was apt that it be out tonight, as it felt like he were making an offer to a holy altar. How was he supposed to ask such a question, what would be the right wording, without making it sound cheesy?

“I was wondering…” Keith faltered, his heart beating so fast and hard that he was worried that Robert might hear it. “If you would be okay with-“ Keith coughed “I mean give me your blessing…” Keith was feeling very hot, he messed with the tie around his neck.

“Get it out, boy!” Robert laughed at Keith’s floundering.

“Can I ask your son to marry me?!” Keith blurted, squeezing his eyes shut, sincerely hoping that Robert would not be there when he opened them, but he was when he did. Looking at Keith with an amused smirk on his face.

“Hm…” Robert looked thoughtful, playing with the cigar between his fingertips. “Let me think about that one, that’s a loaded question.”

Keith stared at him, not even noticing the heat of the cigar in his hand. His heart was almost deafening in his ears, even if Robert responded he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hear it.

“No.”

Keith’s heart physically stopped, skipped a beat if you will, tears threatened to fall, he wasn’t sure if it was the heartbreak or the booze but he wanted to wail like a baby.

“O-okay…” Keith quietly accepted. Every article he'd read told him to respect the father if he said no, rather than to argue with him, but it didn’t make the pain any less. He felt like his legs might give way underneath him, that was definitely the booze.

Keith finally looked up at the man’s face who bore a very familiar shit-eating grin. Keith groaned and shook his head.

“Come on!” Keith cried, flailing his arms dramatically, throwing cigar ash everywhere. Robert broke into a deep laughter.

“What’s all the commotion?!” Sofia was suddenly at the door, staring them both down, still dressed in her finery but she was sans shoes.

“Keith just asked me a very important question.” Robert smiled and gestured to a flailing Keith. Sofia’s face brightened.

“Oh? Did he? And what might that have been?” Sofia grinned, approaching them, Robert put his arm around her and pulled her in tight.

“He asked if he could propose to Lance,” Robert said matter of factly. Sofia squealed audibly and Keith groaned, his cheeks growing hot and pink.

“What did you say?!” Sofia turned to her husband, a loving look in her eyes, her excitement palpable.

“I said no!” Robert laughed as if it were the funniest thing in the world. Sofia’s face fell and she slapped her husband on the arm semi-playfully.

“Don’t toy with the poor boy!” She said sternly. “Keith don’t listen to him, he’s just trying to joke with you, in ill-taste, may I add.”

“Really?” Keith stood up, a little hopeful. Robert shrugged and Sofia hit him once more.

“Keith,” Sofia reached out to cup his cheeks, as she always did. “Nothing would make us happier, you are already a wonderful part of our family, it seems only fitting that you make it official.”

“Are you sure?” Keith smiled, Sofia nodded and let go of his cheeks, turning to her husband.

“Tell him what you told me earlier tonight when you saw them dancing together.” Sofia was still talking to him sternly. “Let that be the answer to your question, Keith.”

Robert sighed, rubbing the back of his neck in a very Lance-esque way. “I said, that when I saw you and my son dancing together to our wedding song, it reminded me of the way that his mother and I danced together. I saw the love in your eyes, the same love I feel for Sofia whenever I look at her.” Robert’s cheeks were red now too. “So yes, I give you my blessing.”

 

“Lance, have you definitely got everything?” Keith was stood at the apartment’s door. “Have you got your moon rock?”

Pidge and Hunk filed past him, bags in their hands, loading them into the car. They were efficient and ready, unlike Lance who was flapping around his room nervously.

“Yes! I have Blue! But we need to give Hanzo to Allura and Shiro before we go!” Lance cried, Keith sighed, made a face at their driver and walked into Lance’s room, who was loading the moon rock carefully into a bundle of socks, Keith couldn’t have been more grateful for the care.

“Lance,” Keith smiled, Lance’s head shot up as if he hadn’t heard Keith walk in. “Are you okay?”

Lance nodded, but Keith still wasn’t convinced. He stepped forward and took Lance’s hands in his and pulled him in close.

“You are brave, and you are strong, and I believe in you!” Keith repeated as if it were a mantra. Lance nodded along, Keith planted a soft kiss on his lips and pulled away, reaching down to zip up his bag. Lance breathed and moved to pick up Hanzo from the windowsill, he took one more wistful glance around his room and then nodded at Keith who grinned as he picked up Lance’s bag and carried it out of the room.

Lance gazed down at Hanzo.

“I’m gonna miss you, little guy.” He sighed. “I’ll make sure that Allura sings to you every day, she knows the song, and she’s got a pretty good voice, but certainly not as good as daddy’s.”

 

They had been on board for little under a month and Lance still hadn’t fully adjusted. The days and nights felt long and hard, and he was working harder than he thought imaginable. He only really got to see Keith on their downtime, and worried every time he jetted off to discover planets and defeat enemies. Lance had a couple more months of basic training to get down before he’d be able to join him.

Lance struggled with homesickness badly, he missed his family, his mom, his brother, the kids. Sometimes he sat up at night, gazing across the room, wishing that the other person in the room was Keith rather than Hunk, so that he could clamber into bed with him. Keith made him feel like he was home. Although Hunk probably would offer the same kind of comfort and wouldn’t kick him out of bed if he tried, it wasn’t the same.

Lance would spend the time that he wasn’t on patrol staring out on the observation deck, watching the stars twinkle in the distance, he’d gaze at Espada, it’s light solid against the darkness of the sky. It was what kept him going, the knowledge that they were there, and soon he’d be out there too.

Because that was the thing with space, once you’d been, it kind of lost its novelty. Staying in the same place and seeing all that this galaxy had to offer just seemed offensive in fact.

And that was the thing about dreams, often when they came true, it was always a bit of a disappointment. You spend your entire life getting your hopes up only for it to turn out to be as mediocre as you should have expected.

Today was the day of Keith’s test results, they were in the medical bay, waiting for Coran to come back with the news. Keith’s hands were shaking in Lance’s, he was staring very intently at Lance’s knuckles, as if they would be able to tell him the news sooner.

“Keith?” Lance spoke, squeezing his hand. Keith didn’t respond, his staring getting more intense. “It’s going to be okay.”

Keith just nodded, his mouth drawn into a thin line, gazing at the fresh calluses on Lance’s knuckles, they’d been lucky, no attacks in nearly four weeks, but Lance had been trying to practise his hand to hand combat, which was his biggest weakness.

“Keith.” Coran’s voice drifted across the room, he gestured for him to come. “Alone, please.”

Keith looked at Lance in desperation.

“I’ll be right here.” Lance pointed at the ground he was stood on. Keith silently nodded and walked away, glancing back intermittently to make sure Lance was being truthful.

“Take a seat, Keith.” Coran gestured to the seat on one side of the table, Keith obliged and Coran sat opposite him, some very official-looking papers in his hands. “So, your test results came back today, as you well know.”

“Come on Coran, what is it?” Keith’s teeth were gritted, his hands clasped together tightly. He felt like he might vomit any second.

“Obviously, the samples we took were tested against thousands of different types of D.N.A, nearly all of them failed except for two.” Coran spoke, Keith’s heart started to race. Two different types? As in something other than human. “Human D.N.A of course, and then another, an alien type.”

“W-what?!” Keith sputtered, he felt his vision narrowing, focusing only on the paper in Coran’s hands.

“We have our suspicions, but since our sample size of the alien D.N.A type was so little, we cannot be entirely sure.” Coran continued, staring at the papers in his hands, as if unable to look Keith in the eye. “But it’s bears a strong resemblance to… Galra D.N.A.”

“G-Galra?! But that… what?!” Keith’s heart stuttered along with his speech. “Galra as in Emperor Zarkon?! As in the made up stories from my childhood?!”

“As I said, the D.N.A sample we have for the Galra is exceptionally small.” Coran closed his eyes, “So we cannot be 100% sure at this stage, but yes. Galra.”

“The single most evil race in the entire universe?!” Keith cried, trying not to let his voice get too high-pitched in his panic. There was no way that Lance was going to want him once he found this out, that Keith was an alien freak. His hands shook as he reached for the paper that Coran held. Coran almost took the papers away, but relented.

“Well, yes they were, but they’re all but extinct.” Coran tried to lighten the mood. “You’re one of the last Galra alive, and that’s pretty neat, right?”

Keith stared at the papers, there it was in black and white. He’d spent his entire life not truly knowing who he was, and now that he had answers, he was even more unsure. What did this mean, was one of his parents an Alien? Was he some sort of genetic experiment gone wrong? The papers in his hands were shaking violently.

What was Lance going to say, what was Lance’s family going to think?! And Pidge, Hunk, Rolo and even Shiro and Allura. Was this why he was having strange dreams and reacting weirdly to them? And more to the point, what suddenly triggered these things?

“All but, extinct?” Keith picked apart Coran’s words, who’s moustache Keith could have sworn actually drooped. “ONE of the last Galra alive?!”

“Oh… I may have misspoke there, my dear boy…” Coran sputtered. “That information is actually classified-“

“I hardly think that matters!” Keith exclaimed, throwing the papers on the table as he stood. “If I’m one of them then surely I deserve to know this sort of thing!”

“Keith, I can’t really get into this with you,” Coran was panicking, he’d slipped up massively. The cat was well and truly out of the bag. “Please, don’t ask me anymore, I’m sorry Keith, but you have to understand, this is bigger than the both of us!”

“How am I supposed to face Lance!” Keith sucked in a breath, trying not to let the tears that threatened to fall stain his cheeks. “He’s not going to want me now!”

It felt like his entire world was coming crashing down around him.

“Keith. Give Lance some credit, do you really think he’d care about that sort of thing?!” Coran was incredulous. Keith was too busy panicking to notice how stupid he was being.

But Lance knew all the stories, he’d been there with Keith staring up at the stuffed Galra soldier in the space museum back on earth, he knew they weren’t to be trusted, that they were evil. Hell, he was surprised Coran wasn’t handing him a notice of termination.

“So… What now…?” Keith stammered, quietly trying to steady his breath, sitting back down at the table, averting his eyes from the papers now scattered on the desk.

“What do you mean?” Coran asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean, what happens to me now?” Keith spread his palms out on the table, staring at his fingertips, trying to run through the implications in his head. “What happens when the higher up’s find out I’m part evil alien?”

“Well, I mean…” Coran laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “In the future, they decided that you could prove useful…”

“What? Useful?!” Keith spat.

“Well… the theory is…” Coran continued. “According to some highly classified data that I should NOT be sharing with you, but the theory is that the Galra incorporated the use of biometric data into the majority of their mechanisms, as in weaponry, fighter ships, bases, etcetera…”

“So now I’m some commodity for them to use?!” Keith’s palms were hard against the table, willing himself not to do anything with them.

“That’s not what they were going for, Keith, you know that.” Coran was suddenly stern. “You should be glad that you have the potential to use what you see as bad news to our advantage.”

Keith sighed, it was just a lot of information to take in.

“Is this conversation classified?” Keith sighed, he knew the only person he’d be able to reason this out with would be Lance, even if it cost him their entire relationship.

“Well, it’s your D.N.A, your heritage, you share that with who you please,” Coran shrugged. “But maybe, just keep this between us and Lance if you choose to tell him, just for now.”

Keith nodded and stood, he just wanted to leave. Coran stood too, he placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder, trying to reassure him.

“See this as a positive, and not a negative.” Coran tried a smile but it felt all wrong. “At least you’re closer to finding your family.”

“I don’t think I want to know anymore.” Keith’s eyes were low as he left the room.

 

Lance was staring at the grey wall in front of him, admiring the shiny coolness of the steel. He heard footsteps advancing towards him at an alarming rate. He turned to see Keith approaching with a terrified look on his face.

“Lance.” Keith’s voice was wavering. Lance’s heart was racing suddenly, his stomach doing backflips, he was expecting the worst. “I’m part Galra.”

Lance was NOT expecting that.

“Galra?” Lance tried to feel that word in his mouth, it just didn’t sound right. “I thought that was a made up alien race?”

“Nope, they’re a real thing.” Keith mouth was set. “And one of them fucked one of my ancestors. Or maybe I’m some crazy human/Galra hybrid made in some lab somewhere. They don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know anything!”

Lance stood and took Keith’s hands in his.

“Stop freaking!” Lance laughed. Keith gazed up at him, finally making eye contact. “It’s okay, I told you it would be okay.”

“You don’t think I’m a freak?” Keith whined.

“Why would I think you were a freak?” Lance grinned. “That’s crazy cool, in fact, I’m a little jealous. Yet another thing you’ve one-upped me at.”

“Would you like to trade places?” Keith sighed, shaking his head, but feeling a lot better.

“Nah, because then I’d only see your beautiful, alien face, in the mirror and in photos.” Lance was laying it on thick. “Besides, it’s always kinda been a dream of mine, y’know, to bang an alien, or a mermaid?”

 

A few months had passed, Lance had finally gone out into the galaxy, and finally, he knew exactly what everyone was trying to tell him. He truly understood why Coran and Keith said the things that they said. Keith was right, death was just this stupid side effect of this insane addiction. The exhilaration he got when he was saving a planet from enemy combatants was unlike anything he’d ever felt before. He was literally defending the universe, it was everything he ever dreamed of and more.

Keith, Pidge, Hunk and Lance were finally the team that they’d always wanted to be. They worked so hard, and there was pain and difficult times, but they all loved it with a feeling that was hard to define.

Keith and Lance were stood in the observation deck, a comfortable silence between them, Lance could see that Keith was twitching a little antsy beside him. Today was one of their rare days off, Hunk and Pidge were in the kitchens, Hunk giving Pidge a tutorial on how to bake a cake for some reason. Lance stopped asking, they were abusing the whole ‘classified’ routine and he decided he didn’t care that much. Keith had asked Lance to meet him on the observation deck at 09:00 hours, which he did and Keith hadn’t said a word to him since he arrived.

“Keith, is everything okay?” Lance finally broke the silence, Keith only nodded, as if he’d been rendered mute for the day. “Did you want to do something?”

Keith nodded again, biting his lip, trying to find the words.

“Do you have… your um… moon rock?” Keith floundered trying to get his words out. Lance raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, no, but… I can go get it?” Lance was terribly confused at the sudden nervous energy.

“Okay, you go get it, and I’ll meet you on the landing bay, okay good, bye!” Keith stormed out, not looking back. Lance was stood for a couple of seconds, completely flabbergasted, but Keith obviously had something in mind.

He wandered back to his barrack, pried the rock from it’s sock nest under his bed and carried it with him gently. He gazed at it, the glittering blueness sparkling at him, like it was trying to tell him something. Before he knew it he was in the landing bay, he spotted Keith, dressed in his gear, ready for take-off.

“Keith? What are you doing?” Lance was holding Blue gently in his hand, regarding Lance with a quizzical look.

Keith said nothing and held out Lance’s flight gear. Lance shrugged, passed Blue to Lance and pulled on his gear. Keith was staring at Blue with a seriousness in his eyes.

“Ready!” Lance gestured to himself. Keith tried a little smile and simply handed Blue back and climbed aboard.

“Have you got clearance for this?” Lance asked before he stepped on, Keith nodded ardently. Lance again, shrugged and climbed aboard, he cradled Blue in his lap before strapping himself in. “Just the two of us?”

Keith nodded again, this time intensely. He started up the engines and lifted off, Lance heard a voice crackle over the intercom.

“Flightship Lemur Oscar Victor Echo cleared for departure.” The voice said, it sounded strangely like Coran’s.

“Erm, Keith, where are you taking me exactly?” Lance was starting to get a little nervous.

“I wanted to show you something,” Keith’s voice was a little softer, less… edgy and strangely aggressive.

“Have you found something out about your family?” Lance hazarded a guess. “Are you taking me to some secret Galra rebellion’s base?! Have you turned?! Are you gonna have me sacrificed to your Galra overlords?!”

“Lance! No! Stop!” Keith laughed, Lance hoped that he’d broken whatever strange ice had formed itself around this situation.

“So? What are you showing me?” Lance asked. He gazed out of the windows as they flew past multitudes of beautiful glowing stars.

“Well, I wanted to show you a couple of things…” Keith breathed, he stopped the movement of the ship, and Lance gazed out at the seemingly still space. “This is where… General Alfor died.”

Lance’s heart skipped a beat, gazing out into the ether. He knew he’d have to face it one day, but it was just… so strange. It felt like the moment he realized that Keith’s rocket-ship ice lolly had left no trace on the ground were Lance had knocked it out of his hand. The fact that these moments, these times close to traumas, were just washed away by time. By forces greater than anything Lance could hope to fathom. There were no traces of what happened, the stars were still there, immovable forces, Lance was amazed that Keith could remember that this was where it happened.

“This spot, is where I was when I got hit. When I watched Alfor’s ship explode.” Keith breathed, his voice thick with emotion. “When all I could think about was that I couldn’t leave you.”

“Woah…” Lance just breathed, he could imagine Keith staring out of this same window… watching whatever happened happen, “That’s…”

Keith started the engine once again, wanting to move on as quickly as he could. He flew for a couple more minutes, a still silence between them, a tension of things that Lance wanted to ask and Keith didn’t have the power to say.

They flew slowly into the orbit of a beautiful pale blue moon.

“This is where Blue came from,” Keith smiled, Lance looked down at the piece of rock balanced in his lap. “The inhabitants broke me off a piece when we… well, you know…”

“Saved them from a fiery painful death?”

“Yeah, that…” Keith laughed, but his voice was low.

“It’s gorgeous,” Lance smiled looking at it, and it was, it was beautiful. It glowed and sparkled just like blue did in his lap.

Keith started the engine again, and they flew even further.

“Keith, why are you showing me all this now?” Lance finally asked. They must have had an opportunity to do this all before, so why now?

“I guess, I felt I was ready to share that part of myself?” Keith didn’t even sound sure.

Finally, they stopped, all Lance could see, was one star off in the distance. Keith stopped the ship fully and made sure it held its position. He unclipped himself from his chair and stood in the window, the light from the star bathing him in a beautiful blue glow.

“Come here,” Keith gestured. “And bring Blue.”

Lance complied, his hands a little shaky, he stood with Blue gently in his hands and approached. Keith took it and held it out to the starlight. It sparkled and shone more than it ever had before, it was like a disco-ball refracting light onto Keith’s pale skin, making him look like some kind of crazy beautiful alien, which of course, he was.

“Recognize that star?” Keith spoke, nodding with his head to the star in front of them, Lance gazed at it, it felt strikingly familiar, like he’d seen it a thousand times before, but this time he was seeing it differently. Suddenly, something deep inside of him told him exactly where they were.

“Is that… Lanza?” Lance asked, a slight lilt to his voice as he remembered that star was named after him. Keith nodded, a tentative smile on his face, he looked as nervous as ever.

“It’s you.” Keith breathed. Lance felt the weight of that in his chest, maybe this was more than just his namesake, he felt a strange kinship to this huge, beautiful, unapologetically bright star.

“Lance,” Keith spoke… he hesitated, but Lance could tell that there were a thousand things that he wanted to say. “I can’t… really put into words how lucky I feel…”

Lance just stared at him, the light from blue still reflecting onto his beautiful skin.

“I thought that, ever since I was a child… as far back as I can remember, that I was destined to be alone.” Keith still hadn’t dared to look at Lance. As if his resolve would break. “I thought I was okay with that… I thought I was okay with not knowing about the future, about what might happen to me. And even when I met you for the first time, I still felt the same. That it was just fated for me to die alone in the cosmos.”

He moved Blue out of the starlight and stared at it, his hands tensing around it. Lance just watched him, still not daring to even breathe too loudly.

“And then, I had you…” Keith’s eyebrows knit together for a second at the memory. “And then I lost you so quickly after making the biggest mistake of my entire life. And then, something insane happened and your ridiculous ass took me back, even though I was leaving you for complete uncertainty. Completely selfish uncertainty.”

Lance had to laugh, which caused Keith to finally look up at Keith. Lance expected his face to crumble, for him to lose his confidence and just stop. But he didn’t, if anything he looked more determined than ever.

“And even when I got here, and I knew I’d done you so wrong by leaving you.” Keith’s face was near heart-breaking but Lance couldn’t tear his eyes away. “You were always my constant, my rock. My beautiful blue star.”

Then Lance looked with horror, as Keith took Blue and slammed it against the hard edge of his steering console, shards of rock and dust exploding onto the floor. Lance didn’t have the words to protest, to stop him, it felt like that rock was his heart right now. Keith held up the piece of rock that was still mostly intact, Lance daren’t look at it, but Keith was holding it out to him.

“And even now, even though I know that I love you, there is still so much uncertainty.” Keith’s voice was stronger now and Lance caught a glint of a pale purple, he looked at the piece of rock in Keith’s hands finally and his heart stopped. “But I am certain of one thing.”

Of course, it was a ring.

“That it was some kind of crazy, mystical fate that we were meant to be together.” Keith’s eyes were serious, but sparkling in a devastatingly beautiful way. “And I’ve never been one to deny fate. So… marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so... the next chapter is obviously the second to last (I've added an extra chapter btw.)  
> But thank you guys so much for your constant support, i've loved every single one of you and your comments.  
> i hope that these next two chapters make you as happy as they made me to write them.  
> please don't forget to come and SCREAM ABOUT SEASON 3 WITH ME  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	24. Cliché

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lance. You cannot have all of your siblings walk down the aisle, we will be there for hours and it will just highlight the fact that I don’t have any!” Keith sighed. His arms folded in his signature way.
> 
> “THEY’RE YOUR SIBLINGS TOO!” Lance cried, his arms up in a Y shape, Pidge and Hunk had seen a lot of this recently. It was like their weird rivalry was coming out in a different, weirdly adorable way.
> 
> “And you are definitely NOT holding up baby Albert like Simba from The Lion King.”

“Okay, go.”

“Keith…” Lance paused dramatically, running his hands through his hair and lettering his teeth glitter in the fluorescent light. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve been in love with you,”

“Nope!” Pidge held out her hand. “Too cliché, and a complete lie.”

“How is that a lie?!” Lance cried, the frustration biting.

“Because you hated Keith when you first met him.” Pidge shook her head. “Okay, maybe hate is a strong word, but you disliked him.”

“Yeah, but that’s not romantic.” Lance sighed, flopping back onto his bed. “I can’t say ‘yeah ok, I didn’t really like you to begin with and you seemed like a complete asshat, but I love you now.’”

“I dunno, I like that.” Hunk shrugged, unironically. “Everyone will know you’re lying if you say the first one, at least the second one is like… you guys.”

“How do you mean?” Lance eyed him.

“Messy.”

Lance groaned loudly. They had barricaded themselves in Lance’s and Hunk’s room. Lance for some reason had insisted on them writing their own vows. Pidge was right, he was a fucking walking, talking cliché, and really not as romantic with words as he thought.

“I have to do this well.” Lance sighed, staring up at the deep grey ceiling. “If Keith’s vows are anything like his proposal, I’m fucked. I will die right there. In front of everyone.”

“What did he even say?” Hunk asked. Lance pondered on that for a second.

“Something about fate.”

“Can’t have been that memorable then?” Pidge laughed.

“WELL, if I tell you exactly what he said…” Lance sighed. “I don’t think I could do it any justice. I have it committed to memory, the face he was making when he said it… the way the starlight was hitting him just right…” He sat up, rubbing his forehead. “I worry if I say it, relive it, I might begin to forget the details.”

“Man, you’re poetic when you’re not trying.” Hunk rolled his eyes, Lance was looking off into the middle distance wistfully. They’d lost him.

Lance couldn’t really remember what he’d said when Keith asked him to marry him. It all seemed a bit of a blur, he was pretty sure he said yes. But he couldn’t have been sure what octave his voice was at, whether it poured out of his mouth messily, all he knew was Keith definitely cried. Which then set off Lance, that was the one thing he could remember. That they were stood about a foot apart just crying at each other. He neglected to tell Hunk and Pidge that.

Lance was now gazing down at his ring, it was a material that he’d never seen before. It was weird to be wearing something that was technically classified. He guessed it was alien, perhaps from the moon that Keith got the rock from. Lance couldn’t get over the fact that he’d had that moon rock for such a long time, for over a year… how could Keith have been so sure? Even after Keith had come back for his birthday and it all nearly went to shit again.

Blue had been glittering on his windowsill for a long, long time, and all that time Lance just thought it was Keith’s poetic representation of the fact everyone was made from the same stuff, that they were connected through everything.

 

“Of course we’re getting married on earth.” Keith scowled, he was on the phone to Shiro. Who had the distinct sound of disappointment rattling in his voice.

“I’m never gonna be able to take Allura to space.” Shiro sighed down the phone. “Is that why you’re calling?! Am I planning your wedding for you?!”

“Well, yeah…” Keith was watching Rolo sketching something, laid on his stomach on his bed. “I can’t exactly call any wedding venues back home. Can’t pop back to earth to have some champagne and canape’s whilst some woman shows us around a stately home.”

“Ok, ok, I get it.” Shiro sighed again. “I’ll have to go and have a look around. Do you trust my judgement?”

“Yeah… why don’t you take Allura with you?”

“Uh… I dunno.”

“Why not?”

“I feel a little inadequate, you beat me to the punch didn’t you?”

“God, you and I both know she doesn’t care about that sort of thing. I know she’s gonna be Lance’s best woman, so she ought to be involved.”

“How do you know about that?!”

“Did you forget me and Lance aren’t long distance anymore?”

“It’s Lance and I.”

“Quiet you. And I do trust your judgement, above all else.” Keith smiled into the phone.

“Okay, let me see what I can do.”

“PLEASE DON’T MAKE IT TOO EXPENS-“ Keith groaned. “And he’s gone, god this wedding is going to cost me the earth.”

“Yo! I drew yours and Lance’s wedding outfits!” Rolo leapt up proudly, a sketch in hand. Keith looked with amusement, Lance was still sporting some sharp shades and a cape, whilst Keith was in a top hat with a cane.

“You know we aren’t anime characters right?” Keith chuckled, but appreciated it nonetheless. “Besides, you’re already singing, you can’t be wardrobe as well.”

“Aw… man I didn’t think of that.” Rolo sighed, “I’ll just design your wedding cake instead.”

“No need, Lance has already decided on tumour cats.” Keith scoffed, he scrolled through his old conversations on his phone and showed Rolo.

“You guys are weird.” Rolo shook his head after reading the exchange. “I gotta get my hands on a guitar if you want me to perform at your wedding.”

“You can actually play?”

“Yeah, me and Nyma used to perform all the time.” Rolo grinned at the memory. “I’m only assuming I can bring Nyma along?”

“As long as you don’t bring Beezer.” Keith warned. Rolo’s face fell. “I’m sorry, I’m sure Beezer is wonderful, but I can’t imagine any wedding venue allowing a gigantic, fluffy, grey cat.”

 

Lance and Keith were sat opposite each other in the canteen, having a staring contest, neither of them were willing to budge.

“Lance. You cannot have all of your siblings walk down the aisle, we will be there for hours and it will just highlight the fact that I don’t have any!” Keith sighed. His arms folded in his signature way.

“THEY’RE YOUR SIBLINGS TOO!” Lance cried, his arms up in a Y shape, Pidge and Hunk had seen a lot of this recently. It was like their weird rivalry was coming out in a different, weirdly adorable way.

“And you are definitely NOT holding up baby Albert like Simba from The Lion King.” Keith closed his eyes at the ridiculousness of it. “Whilst butchering the Zulu language by singing the circle of life.”

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Lance begun singing his hands aloft as if he were actually holding his baby nephew.

“STOP!” Keith cried, Pidge and Hunk were almost crying with laughter.

“He’s still bitter that they chose your couple name for their baby over his.” Pidge coughed in-between laughter.

“From the day we arrived on the planet…” Lance sung quietly. Keith shook his head, trying to fight the smirk that was threatening to break his resolve.

“I’m calling off the wedding.” Keith’s voice wavered as Lance lowered his head, keeping solid eye contact with Keith.

“And blinking, step into the sun!” Lance whispered, only so the four of them could hear. “And technically, Pidge, I came up with Albert. I just preferred Raly.”

“Baby Raly…” Hunk thought. “Well, when I have a kid and inevitably call it Amarillo, I’ll call it Raly for short.”

“My bro.” Lance pretended to wipe away a tear, whilst clasping Hunk on the shoulder. “THERE’S MORE TO SEE THAN CAN EVER BE SEEN!”

“MORE TO DO THAN CAN EVER BE DOOOONE!” Rolo suddenly appeared from the doorway, fist clenched passionately. Lance stood up and grabbed his shoulders enthusiastically.

“IT’S THE CIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIFE!” Rolo and Lance screamed into each other’s faces. Everyone was staring now, Keith’s head was on the table in embarrassment.

“FIRST LIEUTENANT MCCLAIN, CAPTAIN ROLO!” Colonel Montgomery was storming over, red in the face, Lance and Rolo’s hands flew up to their heads in a salute, he never could remember Rolo’s surname. He approached, an eyebrow twitching in what they thought was anger, they were preparing themselves to be torn to shreds until. “AND IT MOVES US ALL!”

Lance and Rolo looked at each other in shock, his voice was stunning.

“THROUGH DESPAIR AND HOPE!” All three of them cried, Pidge was dying with laughter, Hunk was gazing at them in awe and Keith was trying to hide under the table. “THROUGH FAITH AND LOVE!”

“TILL WE FIND OUR PLAAACE!” Pidge had joined in once she’d recovered her breath. “ON THE PATH UNWINDIIIIIIIIING!”

“IN THE CIIIIIRCLE!” The whole room was singing now, Keith wanted to cry. “THE CIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIFE!”

 

“Okay. So, the venue is booked.” Shiro spoke with finality in his voice. “I’ve sorted the menu, paid the caterers… all that’s left is to book a DJ and… get the flowers and everything else sorted.”

Lance and Keith looked excitedly at each other. They had Shiro on loudspeaker in Keith’s room. Everyone else had cleared off to mess around on the holodeck, it had been the week from hell and Rolo had sketched the landscape of a planet that they hadn’t been able to spend much time on, being that the only life form on the planet was man-eating plants. Obviously he’d drawn it without the carnivorous plant life.

“What’s the venue like, Shiro?” Lance gushed, clasping his hands close to his chest excitedly.

“It’s very nice… it’s near your moms… I don’t really wanna tell you much more than that.” Shiro laughed. “I kinda want it to be a surprise.”

“Oh…” Lance faltered, a little unsure suddenly.

“Lance, trust me.” Shiro chuckled. “I know what I’m doing.”

Keith looked at Lance, who was biting his lip nervously at the prospect have having little to no involvement in his own wedding.

“As… long as I get to pick my own suit?” Lance tried to sound hopeful, Keith laughed a little nervously.

“I might have already sent the sketches off to Shiro…” Keith rubbed his neck. Lance’s face paled.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… I’ve already sorted it…”

“I’m gonna go… um. Good luck Keith.” Shiro awkwardly laughed before he hung up.

“What do you mean you’ve already sorted it.” Lance didn’t notice Shiro hang up, his teeth were clenched, trying to control his fear.

“I’ve already chosen! I’ve picked the perfect outfits for us.” Keith tried to lighten the mood by speaking brightly. “I Uh… I told Rolo what we wanted and he sketched it, I took a picture and sent it to Shiro.”

“You?!” Lance cried. “YOU as in Mr. Mullet-“ Keith touched the back of his freshly cropped hair self-consciously. “UNIRONICALLY WEARS CROPPED JACKETS-“ Keith laughed nervously. “WEARS FINGERLESS BIKE GLOVES LIKE A FASHION STATEMENT.”

“HEY!” Keith cried back. “You fell in love with me wearing that sort of thing so you can’t think it’s all that bad!”

“Keith. I fell in love with you IN SPITE of that stuff.” Lance sighed, flailing dramatically onto Keith’s bed. “God, it’s gonna be covered in studs, isn’t it?”

“Uh…” Keith stammered. Suddenly the alarm for curfew blasted through intercom in the barracks. Keith’s eyes were guilty. Lance’s jaw dropped.

“Keith.”

“Lance you gotta go, you’ll get in trouble.”

“I swear to ALTEA, KEITH!” Lance was stood, backing out of the door, trying to appear threatening.

“Oh no, what a shame we can’t continue this conversation. If you get caught in the captain’s quarters after curfew you’ll get in SO MUCH TROUBLE” Keith smiled, waving at Lance’s retreating form.

“I SWEAR IF THERE IS A SINGLE CHAIN ON THOSE SUITS YOU WILL BE-“

“BYYEEE LAANCE!” Keith cried, interrupting Lance as he had to turn and leave before he got caught.

 

Keith was staring down at his stomach desperately. He and Rolo had such an exhausting day they’d collapsed asleep as soon as they got back to their barracks, Keith’s nightmares had come back in full force, except now… he could see them. The Galra. He’d woken up shaking, with deep claw marks across his abdomen. There was no way that anyone could have broken in and done this, it had to have been him. He gazed at his fingertips, his nails were clipped and neat, but he could see the remnants of dried blood underneath his nails, there was no way he could have done this kind of damage with these nails.

The absolute worst case scenario crossed his mind. Was he transforming? In his sleep? He wouldn’t ever be able to know, the only cameras that were in the captain’s quarters were trained on all the potential entrances and exits. And Rolo was still fast asleep in the bed across from him.

His heart was beating a million miles an hour. What if something like this happened in the night when he and Lance were asleep together, what if… Keith hurt Lance without meaning to…

He had to stop thinking like that, something like this hadn’t happened for a long time. He was more bothered at this point, about his dream. The deep voices rumbling in his ear, he couldn’t completely understand what was being said, it was all too muffled, but it didn’t sound good. Coran had said that he was one of the last Galra alive, maybe… or maybe he was seeing old memories, memories from the parent or grandparent he had that was Galra.

He hadn’t thought about it for a long time, but he again questioned why suddenly all this had been triggered. Up until the ambush, he hadn’t experienced anything like this. Was it something to do with the injury he’d sustained? There was nothing stopping them from believing that those enemies were in fact Galra. There had been no ship left intact, not a shred of evidence to prove what those enemies were. Coran had mentioned that they used a lot of biometric data in their tech, maybe Keith was hit by some shrapnel that reacted with the Galra in his blood.

But right now, he was bleeding and he had to do something about that before anything else. He sat up slowly, the cuts were pretty deep, but he was still whole, as his muscles contracted he felt pain slice through him. He tried not to cry out, he didn’t want to wake Rolo and make this a bigger deal than it had to be. He wrapped his stomach in some bandages from their first aid kit and put a blanket around himself, he gasped quietly as he left the room, his feet bare, he just had to get to the medibay.

He cursed silently, trying desperately hard not to make a noise as he walked towards the medical centre, he could see bright fluorescent lights flickering behind the frosted glass door. As he approached, he weakly put his hand against the handprint scanner and the door whipped open loudly. There was no one there, he knew there had to be a medical officer on call. He slowly walked in, trying not to let any muscles in his abdomen contract.

“H-hello?” His voice was weak. He was met with silence, he could feel darkness coming in around him, he clutched his hand to his stomach and felt wet, he’d bled through his night shirt. He cursed loudly. “Hello?! I’m bleeding out here.”

He was going to have to explain this to a medical officer, and he hated that, but at this point he didn’t give a shit, because if someone didn’t come out soon, he might pass out and die on the floor right there. Which was becoming more and more a likely possibility as there seemed to be no one coming. He supported himself on a nearby table, breathing heavily. He’d been able to do stitches before, he could do them again surely. He knew he should clean and disinfect himself properly, but he bet his bottom dollar that he didn’t have the time to be doing that.

He limped slowly over to one of the doors to his left, where people went for treatment. There was a healing pod inside and a table full of instruments and gear. He fell on the chair in front of the table and scrabbled around with his free hand for a stitch gun, he found one and saw that it already had some of the medical staples he needed in the mechanism. He lifted his shirt, and looked down, there was a lot of blood soaking through the bandages, he pulled them off and cast them aside. He took a deep breath, remembering all the training Coran had given him last time and started to stitch himself together. The bleeding was beginning to lessen, he noticed with a huge sigh of relief. After what felt like an hour, he’d managed to get most of the damage patched up.

He was completely exhausted, he wanted to crawl back to bed, or even into the healing pod nearby, but the adrenaline had left him completely and his legs were completely numb and limp. He let himself pass out on the plastic chair whilst he hummed Lance and his’ wedding song, praying that he’d wake up tomorrow.

 

“WHERE IS HE?!” A commanding voice boomed, Lance’s ears pricked up, his head was laid next to Keith’s hand on the bed. Coran was on the war path apparently.

Lance gazed up at Keith, who was fast asleep on the bed. He had been left for five hours in total, passed out on a plastic chair in the medibay, messily stapled and infected. He was now properly disinfected and patched up, but still hadn’t awoken. Coran had been notified and whoever was on duty at the time Keith had stumbled in to patch himself up had been unceremoniously kicked out and banned from the Galaxy Garrison.

“Lance.” Coran breathed as he made it into the room, Lance smiled weakly. He’d been there all morning, he had to go on duty in an hour or so, so made it his mission to stay as long as he could.

Coran stormed over and grabbed Keith’s charts off the end of his bed, scanning through them, he sighed and shook his head.

“I take it you know.”

“About the fact he’s part Galra?”

Coran nodded solemnly.

“I should have considered that something like this might happen again.” Coran sighed. “I should have been more… I don’t know… Careful?”

“I don’t think you’re expected to know that something like this could have happened.” Lance tried his voice, it sounded as rough as it felt. “He’d been able to control it since the last time.”

“I should have taken him for more tests.” Coran shook his head, aggressively this time. “This is my fault. We’re lucky that nothing happened to Rolo, or that Keith didn’t accidentally kill himself.”

“Don’t.” Lance bit his lip. Willing himself not to think of it. Keith had to be okay. He had to be, Lance wasn’t sure what he’d do if Keith didn’t wake up.

“Lance. Go and have some food before you go on duty.” Coran spoke after a couple of minutes of silence. Lance moved to protest. “Lance. That is an order.”

Lance reluctantly pulled himself up, saluted, gazed down at the Keith’s sleeping form. And left.

 

“Yes, Shiro, I’m fine.” Keith groaned down the phone. “I’m going back on duty today. It’s fine.”

“I can’t believe that there was no one on call when you got there.” Shiro was still incensed. “It’s disgusting Keith, you could have died.”

“I know Shiro.” Keith gulped. “I know.”

He’d had this conversation a million times and was starting to get sick of it. It was the second time he’d brushed shoulders with death. He’d gotten so lucky each time, it was obviously not his time just yet. Fate had other ideas.

 

They were on the ship, in the middle of a routine excursion to a planet that they’d never visited before, Keith was concentrating on where he was going when Lance piped up.

“Hey, has Shiro booked our honeymoon?” Lance asked, almost making Keith jump. Pidge and Hunk giggled amongst themselves.

“H-honeymoon?” Keith bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

“KEITH. I swear.” Lance gritted his teeth. “I’ve made my peace with the fact my collar is most likely going to be popped, please tell me I have at least a mini-moon.”

“What the hell is a mini-moon?” Hunk suddenly asked.

“That.” Pidge pointed to a moonlet that they happened to be passing, orbiting around the planet they were due to land on. Keith had to laugh at the perfect comedic timing. Lance groaned.

“You’re technically not wrong.” Lance whined in response. “But. Babe. We HAVE to be going on a honeymoon!”

“I’m… not saying anything.” Keith smiled. They slowly started their descent to the planet, Hunk was trying to communicate over the comms, to no avail.

They assumed it was because the inhabitants weren’t evolved enough to have radio communication, which was not unusual. As they breached the dark green clouds coating the planet, it became extremely clear why there was no communication. The entire planet had been colonised.

“Where… are we?” Lance’s voice was hesitant.

“I don’t think we should go any further, Keith.” Pidge finally spoke up. Keith hesitated, he mulled it over for a second, was a chance meeting with a Galra soldier worth risking the lives of not only the person he loved, but the teammates he loved.

“You don’t know for sure that the people responsible for this are Galra.” Lance said, as if reading his mind. “This could be dangerous.”

“I-I…” Keith sucked in a deep breath. “What about the inhabitants? Can we really just turn our backs on them?”

“We could take co-ordinates, bring more people next time?” Hunk suggested. “We are only on a routine check. We can't really get involved in affairs we know nothing about.”

“Y-you’re right.” Keith sighed. He turned on the engines once more and started to ascend through the clouds, only to collide with something, hard.

“Shit. What was that?!” Lance cried, the grip on his turret controls getting tight, ready to fire if need be.

“Must be some kind of force field.” Pidge breathed heavily. “Unless we figure out what’s creating this, we have no chance of getting back through.”

“Hunk, send a distress call back to base.” Keith flew through the protocol quickly. “Pidge, put our defences up and Lance, be ready to fire.”

“Yes, captain.” The three of them replied in unison. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Pidge’s eyes were roaming the planet’s surface, trying to find the source of the force-field.

“Over there.” She pointed, Keith turned and looked were she was pointing. A deep, black monolithic tower jutted out from the surface of the planet. Glowing a bright, pale purple, he could see a force of some kind ebbing from the end, that was definitely it. It was technology they’d never witnessed before, maybe… maybe it WAS Galra.

Maybe Keith could stop it from doing whatever it was it was doing.

He turned and stared hard into his window, stewing over his thoughts. The Garrison had already been notified, they knew they needed back up, it had taken them half an hour to get here themselves, which meant that the back-up garrison ships would be close behind. Without warning, he plunged the ship into a nose dive, heading for the structure.

“KEITH! What the hell are you doing?!” Pidge cried. Lance’s mouth was clamped shut from the shock and Hunk was screeching. Keith stayed silent, concentrating solely on his objective.

He’d never make a good leader. He knew that for sure now.

As they approached, faster than Keith anticipated, a booming voice came through their intercoms.

“Galra life form spotted onboard.” The voice felt scarily familiar to Keith. “State your ship ID, entry code and landing destination.”

Lance, Pidge and Hunk stayed silent, but their terror was palpable. Keith took a deep breath and shut his eyes.

“Ship ID. 110345 Zulu Oscar.” Keith dropped an octave, his eyes still shut. “Entry code Bravo 3009, landing destination monolith landing bay.”

Lance held his breath. What the hell, where had this come from?

“Clearance granted.”

In unison, Hunk, Pidge and Lance all let go of the breaths they were holding. But stared at Keith, where the hell had he pulled those numbers out of?!

Lance paled.

Had he… turned? Were they about to walk to their deaths? Had everything leading up to this point, the engagement, the injuries, everything… just been a ruse?

Keith stayed completely silent, and continued his descent, a bay had opened in the side of the tower and he approached, his shoulders raised with tension. Even he didn’t know where all that had come from. As they approached the landing area, two heavily armed soldiers were stood waiting for them.

“K-Keith?” Pidge’s voice was loaded with pure terror.

Keith didn’t actually know what to say. He allowed the ship to stop on the smooth, black, almost marble ground and shut off the engines. He could feel the dread in the room, but for some reason… he’d never felt more relaxed in his entire life. He unbuckled himself from the chair and stood. His body was working on instinct, on auto-pilot.

“Stay here.” His voice was much lower than usual, much more commanding. He pressed his hands against the door and walked out. The door closed behind him and the soldiers regarded him as if they were expecting him. They didn’t seem surprised by his human body.

“Sir.” They both spoke in unison. Keith paled. He was in too deep. So fucking deep, it was like all of his senses came back to him. He could only imagine what was going through his team’s heads. Who did these soldiers think he was?!

Keith raised his nose, as if disgusted by them and walked in-between them, they turned and followed him. His fear was completely overshadowed by his instincts. His feet were telling him where to go, as if he’d been there a million times before. They slipped through some shiny black doors, and Keith realised he was alone with these two soldiers.

With a speed he didn’t know he had, he turned, pulled his sword out of its holster and sliced them both in two. They were… robotic sentries? What the fuck was happening? Suddenly he was running, racing, down hallways and through doors till he came to some kind of control room. He raced over and slammed his hand down on it. All the lights in the room went down.

“Fuck.” He finally breathed. “What the fuck am I doing?”

He looked around once more, desperately hoping that was enough to shut down the force-field around the planet. The garrison was probably about to arrive. He had to get back to his ship before someone realised what was happening. He turned and ran to the door, he put his hand against the sensor, and found it wouldn’t open.

“Aw man, come on.” He slammed his hand harder against the panel, to no avail. In desperation he plunged the end of his sword into the glass, it set off sparks and the doors sputtered open. He’d turned off all the power within the monumental structure.

He raced a different route through the corridors and finally got to the landing bay. The lights were down, but the bay door was still open, much to his relief. He raced towards the ship, opened the door and clambered on, he was met by the horrified faces of his teammates, which he pretended not to notice as he climbed into his seat and turned on all the engines. Quickly the propellers burst into life and threw them up and out of the landing bay. They climbed and climbed and climbed, Keith glanced behind and saw that the lights were all out on the tower, and gave a huge sigh of relief as they broke through the clouds and back into the atmosphere. He could see Garrison ships on the horizon.

“Keith. What the fuck kind of shit did you just pull?!” Hunk sounded pissed. Hunk was never pissed with Keith.

“I-I…” Keith didn’t even have an excuse. Some sort of hot-headed sense of heroism had taken over.

He’d disabled the forcefield and rendered the Galra (?) without power, vulnerable to attack from the garrison, whose ships barrelled past and through the atmosphere, Keith could hear blasters and explosions from below. As far as he was concerned, he’d almost single-handedly saved an entire planet from a life of slavery and inevitable extinction. He was filled with so much adrenaline he didn’t care how obnoxious he sounded.

He knew he’d never make a good leader, because he hadn’t once thought about the team he’d left behind.

 

Lance wanted to scream, to break something, anything. He was just so fucking angry. It had been four days since Keith went crazy and he was being lauded as some kind of hero.

When the garrison arrived, they went in hard, they all but destroyed everything the Galra had built and ended up liberating an entire race of people from slavery.

Lance was obviously thrilled because they did such an amazing thing, but he was pissed, pissed as all hell. Pissed to the point that he’d not spoken a word to Keith since that day.

This was his fiancé, the man he was supposed to marry in a matter of months, and yet… he couldn’t talk to him, he couldn’t even look at him. How could he? How dare he?! Why did he think that he could just… pull all that information out of his ass, shut down an entire Galra base, all with absolutely no help. Especially after a week of recovering from a horrific self-inflicted wound.

He heard those soldiers call him sir.

It was the last thing they heard before those doors shut. A thick, heavy silence had hung between the remaining three of them. The fear that Keith might not come back, the fear that Keith would come back, but take them as prisoners or worse… kill them there and then.

Keith hadn’t even tried to explain. It was like even he didn’t know. There was something happening in his dreams, something more than Coran or anyone would be able to explain. They just knew too little about it to be sure.

Lance was sat in the observation deck, staring out at the stars. The silence around him burdening him with his thoughts. He couldn’t avoid Keith forever, sooner or later… something had to happen.

“Lance.”

Lance pretended he didn’t hear. Pretended he wasn’t there. He just stared, stared hard at Lanza, he felt so thoroughly betrayed.

“Lance. Please.” The voice was drawing nearer. Now was the time.

“What.” Lance didn’t want it to be a question, but he knew he’d get an answer anyhow.

“I’m scared.”

Lance’s fists clenched in his lap, he felt the weight of the ring on his finger. He wanted to cave, so badly, but this wall of resentment he’d built around himself in a matter of days was rock solid.

“Me too.”

“Lance.” Keith’s voice was weak. “Please, look at me.”

“Why?” Lance’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“Why what?”

“Why did you do it.” Lance whimpered. Refusing to tear his eyes away from the stars. He felt Keith settle down, cross-legged beside him. Again, he didn’t want it to be a question. More a statement that sat with him, made an impact. “How… could you.”

“Lance, I-“

“How could you leave me behind.” Lance gulped. He didn’t want Keith to think it was a question. These weren’t questions, this was bitterness in sentences. “Why did you think you could leave all of us behind.”

“I-“

“No. Keith.” Lance pushed himself off the floor. “You don’t get to talk. You get to listen.”

He still didn’t look at Keith, he closed his fist and felt his thumb go for his ring finger instinctually. Were they even really a team? He spread his hand out flat and stared at it, the light reflecting off it beautifully.

“What kind of teammate…” Lance breathed, his eyes boring a hole in his hand. “What kind of man… what kind of future husband.”

Keith remained silent, still on the floor, Lance could feel his eyes on him.

“What… kind of life am I in for?” Lance whispered. “Where I don’t know if I can trust you… if I can… trust that you won’t turn, that you won’t hurt me.”

Keith was the last person Lance wanted to hurt.

“How… do I know that all this time, you…” Lance bit his lip. “How do I know that you aren’t going to betray me… Don’t you think… it was all a little suspicious?”

It hurt Lance more than words could say. He didn’t want to hurt Keith. Maybe he was making too big a deal out of this.

“It all just seemed too easy.” Lance tore his eyes away from the ring. “You just waltz in, and shut the whole place down. Become the hero you were always destined to be.”

He finally looked at Keith, who was gazing up at him, a look in his eyes that nearly shattered Lance’s walls. How could he not trust that face? He was biting down so hard on his lip he feared he might draw blood. Keith was going through something that Lance would never truly understand. Maybe that was why Lance was so… upset.

“Destined…” Keith let out a breath as he said that.

Lance was fiddling so much with his ring that he nearly pulled it off, and Keith noticed. It was a kind of… anxiety thing he’d developed.

“Can, I?” Keith gestured to himself, asking permission to speak. Lance didn’t really have anything else to say, so just shrugged. Keith stood up finally, he’d spent the past five minutes looking like a sad child, cross-legged on the floor.

“I’m scared about what happened that day…” Keith allowed a weird kind of… wistful yet prideful smile play on his lips. “I’m scared about my dreams. I’m scared of what I’m capable of, I’m scared that I don’t know what could happen. I am scared that I might hurt you, I’m scared that I might betray you one day.”

Keith actually chuckled. “I’m scared that you might wake up in the middle of the night, turn round and find some furry purple guy in bed next to you.”

Lance supressed a smirk at that too.

“But, I don’t think I’m as scared of those things, as I am scared of losing you.” Keith tensed. “How… have I been so close to losing you so many times.”

“Honestly?” Lance sighed. “I think I’m a little jealous.”

“Of what?”

“I’m just…” Lance huffed out a breath. “Did you ever read the Harry Potter books?”

Keith raised an eyebrow like, duh.

“So, you know how both Harry and Neville were children of the same prophecy?” Lance rubbed his forehead. “I feel like… you’re Harry. You’re the special one, the hero.”

“That’s a weird comparison… but I get it.” Keith rubbed the back of his neck. “But… if it makes you feel any better, this fucking sucks.”

“I know. And I feel like a piece of shit for saying it… but. That’s how I feel.”

“You’re not a piece of shit. I get it.”

“How?”

“Watching you wreck all those enemy ships?!” Keith looked at him like he was stupid. “I wish I was that badass. All I do is fly a plane.”

“Did you forget that what you do was my dream for my entire life?!”

“Lance…” Keith’s face was serious again. “Am I going to lose you?”

Lance thought about it for a second, and then suddenly noticed that his engagement ring was now in the palm of his right hand.

“Are you going to betray me? Or leave me behind? Or put yourself in danger again?”

“No.”

“Then you’ll never lose me.”

 

“Keith.”

“Lance.”

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“We’re getting married in 4 weeks from today.”

“It’s also your birthday, Lance.”

“What?”

“Today.”

Lance laughed out loud. How had he forgotten his own birthday? He stretched and groaned loudly.

“I feel like… I don’t really care about that.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well… you’ve pretty much bought down what remained of the Galra empire singlehandedly.”

“Have not.”

“I’m gonna be married to the saviour of the universe.”

“Stop, that’s… just not accurate.”

“And no one on earth will even know it.”

Keith couldn’t help but laugh at that. It was bittersweet.

Ever since the Garrison took down the monolith tower on planet Liberte, (As Lance had grown fond of calling it) all information of what remained of the Galra had been taken down with it. They found out so much, co-ordinates, names and places. And within a couple of months, it seemed that they’d won the war.

But… it was still all completely classified. The team would go home, and no one would even know they had been gone. No one would know the incredible things they’d seen and done.

And soon… they wouldn’t be needed anymore. The war was over… the universe didn’t need defending anymore.

“Do you think you’ll miss this?” Keith asked, reaching for Lance’s hand.

“Of course.” Lance sighed heavily, the stars were beautiful and bright tonight. “You?”

“Yeah…” Keith took in a deep breath. “I guess we’ll have to find new dreams, huh?”

The Garrison wasn’t… closing per se. Keith and Lance would always be on call, so to speak. But it was the military, they’d served their time. They could go back to earth and live normal lives.

Lance looked at Keith, and Keith looked at him. Normal didn’t seem so bad.

 

Aug 25. 23:45pm

Lance_  Hey Keith. Guess what I realised a second ago.

Keith_  Um. What?

Lance_  You are an actual, factual X-File.

Keith_  Um…

Lance_  As in, you’re literally an alien conspiracy.

Keith_  Yeah, I guess you’re right actually.

Lance_  I should get some beauty sleep. Big day tomorrow.

Keith_  The biggest.

Lance_  Pidge is trying to force a sleeping mask on me and Allura is painting my toe nails.

Keith_  Hunk’s asleep.

Lance_  Okay. You go join him. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Keith_  Not if I see you first.

Lance_  1pm. Sharp.

Keith_  You know it.

 

Shiro was stood, camera in hand, a tear in his eye. Alyssa was stood next to him, a hand on Shiro’s arm, covering her mouth and nodding in appreciation. Keith wanted to die, his brother and sister were so embarrassing. He didn’t need this today.

“You look, so…” Shiro trailed off.

“Beautiful.” Alyssa finished his sentence, they looked at each other and nodded. They’d literally known each other for less than 24 hours, but behaved like they were actually brother and sister.

Keith was wondering in his head how Lance would be reacting right about now. Keith loved to surprise Lance, more than he loved saving planets he loved to see that adorable look on Lance’s face when he got surprised. That was an addiction with no nasty side-effects.

Shiro knelt down, put the camera to his face and snapped a picture of Keith looking very nervous, but very, very handsome in his wedding suit. Keith’s hair had grown out so much that he was wearing it back in a pony-tail again, since he knew he wasn’t going to be needing the obligatory Garrison cut, he decided to grow it out. It was how he had it when he and Lance met, so it felt right.

Keith almost went with a jet black for his suit, but he instead opted for a deep grey, skinny fit. Skinny purple tie. He’d never actually looked himself in the mirror and thought he looked handsome, he’d taken photos in the past that he thought Lance might enjoy and felt quite confident in those. But he actually felt really good. Really comfortable, which as any bride will tell you, is exactly how you want to feel on your wedding day.

Albert was cooing on the bed. Alyssa had put him in a similar suit to the one that Lance and Robert wore to their parent’s wedding day. Albert had Alyssa’s eyes and Robert’s signature McClain smile. He would be a heart breaker one day. Keith bundled him into his arms and Albert immediately grabbed Keith’s cheeks and smushed them together. Shiro snapped another photo.

“Y’know. Albert.” Keith smiled, his cheeks still bunched together. “For a baby, you’re alright. I’m gonna be proud to call you my nephew.”

“C’mon. You’re already his uncle.” Alyssa muttered. “You’re just putting it in writing.”

Hunk trundled into the room, dressed in a similar suit to Keith’s but a closer grey to black. He wrestled Albert out of Keith’s arms and began throwing him in the air.

“AMARILLOOOO!” Hunk cooed as Albert flew into the air. Albert giggled with joy, Hunk caught him and Albert grasped his cheeks too. “Aw, Bert. Ali my man. You’re so cute. It makes my heart hurt. Who loves his uncle Hunk, who loves his uncle Hunk? You do!”

Shiro bustled over and stole Albert away, Albert immediately zeroed in on the scar across the bridge of Shiro’s nose and poked it with a determined finger. Shiro winced a little but laughed all the same.

“Naw, uncle Shiro is the best. Isn’t he?” Shiro rubbed his nose lightly against Albert’s, who laughed contentedly.

“Man. He’s a lucky boy isn’t he?” Alyssa beamed. “Gross, this is too fluffy. Give me back my child, I’m gonna go pound a beer.”

Alyssa tucked Albert into her hip and started down the stairs.

“And for the love of god, one of you needs to have one of these!” She called behind her. “Because god knows you’re the broodiest bunch of boys I’ve ever met.”

“YOU’RE A BAD MOTHER!” Hunk called in response.

 

Lance was actually blushing at the sight of himself. Call him conceited, damn, he was calling himself conceited. Wherever Shiro had bought these suits from, they might as well have been from heaven itself. Because damn.

Pidge and Matt were sat on the bed, watching Lance admire himself.

“Are you sure you wanna marry Keith?” Matt called out. Pidge nearly punched him.

“But yeah, are you sure?” Pidge asked, waggling her eyebrows in the mirror at him.

Allura suddenly appeared in the doorway, dressed in a beautiful, floor-length white gown. Pidge and Matt exchanged a look.

“ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA STAY WITH SHIRO?” They shouted in unison. Lance pouted at the change in their affections.

“I’m not sure if I wanna marry Keith anymore.” He spun round and took her in. Allura laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You know it’s tacky to wear white to a wedding.”

“Me and Hunk are gonna look like the ones getting married.” She gushed, twirling around Lance dramatically. “We’re going to be the best, best people in the history of weddings!”

“Are you scared?” Pidge asked after Allura flopped onto the bed. Matt started plaiting her hair idly.

“Uh… no. I don’t think I am.” Lance patted himself down. “I think I’m scared of this being over. I love weddings.”

“I think this is the first one I’ve been to.” Pidge pondered for a second.

“I’ve been to one?” Matt thought, staring out the window. Pidge shot him a look. “You weren’t alive dude.”

“I haven’t been to any, I’m excited!” Allura smiled sleepily, almost dropping off whilst Matt braided her hair.

Lance looked back at the mirror, he was in the foreground with Pidge, Matt and Allura behind him, goofing around together. His heart was full, he couldn’t stop the stupid smile that was on his face.

Suddenly Shiro was at the door, snapping pictures of Lance who posed accordingly. He grinned and gave him a thumbs up, before realizing that Allura and Matt were on the bed, draped over each other dramatically.

“Take our picture, Takashi.” Matt’s voice was weirdly sensual.

“Yes, Takashiiiii.” Allura’s voice mirrored his. Pidge broke down in laughter and moved away so that Shiro could actually take a picture. Lance just cringed.

“Make sure at least one of those photos goes in the wedding album.” Matt laughed. “Don’t tell Keith, we’ll have to see if he notices.”

“W-Where’s Keith?” Lance’s nerves were starting to kick in as he noticed the time.

“Him, Alyssa and Hunk have gone to the… venue.” Shiro hesitated a little at the word venue, and Lance pretended not to notice. “Which… is where I’m gonna go now. See you in a little while.”

Shiro disappeared and Pidge turned to Lance.

“OKAY, VOW PRACTISE TIME.” She squealed, and cuddled up with Allura and Matt, looking up at him expectantly.

“Um, that’s the thing…” Lance trailed off, blushing.

“You haven’t written any, have you?” Allura’s face fell.

“I was hoping to improvise…?”

 

“Okay, he’s leaving now.” Alyssa looked down at her phone, having received a message from Robert to let them know that Lance had left the building. Keith was sat in a beach hut. Roasting. Maybe Shiro could have done with warning them about the venue, then maybe Keith could have thought a little more about their suits.

“How you holding up? Soldier?” Alyssa asked, Albert cooing away against her hip, his entire fist shoved into his mouth.

“I’m okay…” Keith smiled. He was okay, he was more than okay, he was excited, this was set to be the best day of his life.

But there was something deep inside of him, calling him. Some kind of crazy energy within him, that felt like it was physically dragging him to the vastness of the desert.

“Keith?” Alyssa’s hand was suddenly on his shoulder, concern in her eyes, baby Albert was trying to bat him with his saliva-soaked fist.

“Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts.” Keith’s voice was low and deep. He inhaled deeply and glanced at his watch, suddenly overcome with nerves, it was creeping closer and closer to 1pm. Lance was on his way, he was suddenly terrified.

He’d thought to himself so many times, were they too young to be getting married? 24 was a pretty young age, but… when you were in the military things were different. Their lives were always going to hang in the balance, even if they were off-duty – for now -, it made you realise that life really was quite short, anything could happen.

 

“Oh my god.” Lance covered his mouth when he saw it. This is what Shiro meant by the venue… he always hesitated, gave the others’ a knowing look whenever it came up in conversation.

A long white piece of fabric had been laid on the sand, leading up to a pale wooded archway with leaves of eucalyptus and small, white bursts of gypsophila, weaved through the lattices. The sun was shining and the ocean’s waves were lapping gently against the soft white sand of the beach. The wind was blowing gently, but enough to keep the temperature from reaching stifling heights.

Lance knew this was all so cliché, but he realised now that he LOVED cliché’s. He was, as he previously thought, a walking, talking cliché, and he was fine with it. Shiro had done such a good job, Lance was already near tears just looking at it. The congregation were sat in chairs that matched the wood of the archway, he could see his mom and dad watching his reaction, beaming happily. He approached the white cloth, Pidge following close behind, his stomach was full of butterflies, he felt like he wanted to vomit, but with happiness.

He was surprised to see Rolo stood just to the side of the archway, an acoustic guitar in his hands, Rolo gave him a simple smile and a wave. A tall, incredibly beautiful woman stood next to him, Lance recognized her from Rolo’s sketches as Nyma, he was depressed when he realised that Beezer was nowhere to be seen. Allura threw her arm around Lance’s shoulders, her eyes were red and she looked as though she were close to tears.

“I hope I’m a good best woman.” She smiled, Lance just nodded, he didn’t really have the words and he worried that if he did say anything, they’d just break down, and it was only the start of the day.

Shiro was stood at the end of the aisle, taking pictures of Allura, Lance and Pidge, a bright smile on his face. Lance glanced down at his watch and then spotted Rebecca, struggling to carry Albert down the aisle, he, Allura and Pidge made their way to the archway and waited for Keith. Rebecca smiled goofily at Lance and handed the baby to Allura, Lance could hear the snap of Shiro’s camera in the background.

“Oh shit it’s happening.” Lance whispered, not to anyone in particular, his stomach was doing backflips, waiting for Keith to arrive.

“I bet he’ll turn up on a motorcycle or something.” Allura whispered in response. Pidge, who was stood next to Allura scoffed at that.

“He’ll do an intricate sword display before he starts stalking down the aisle like a ninja,” Pidge interjected. Lance sucked in a deep breath, that was something Keith would definitely do, but not in front of all these people.

“There is no way, anyone will get Hunk on a motorbike!” Shiro laughed as he took a photo of the three of them. Lance, Hunk and Pidge all shrugged and nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, Rolo started plucking the strings of his guitar melodically, Albert was cooing happily in Allura’s arms as she bounced him rhythmically. Lance looked up and saw Hunk, Keith and Alyssa walking towards them, they were all smiling widely. As they approached Lance could see Keith clearly.

Lance sighed, another cliché, he’d fallen in love with Keith all over again, his hair was in the cutest ponytail that Lance had ever seen and he looked amazing in his suit, not a stud nor chain in sight. Alyssa had her arm looped through his, walking Keith down the aisle in return, Hunk was a little ways in front, his cheeks were pink as everyone watched him. He locked eyes with Lance and looked like he was about to squeal, he stood on the opposite side of the archway to the others’ and Shiro snapped a quick shot of him on his own.

Lance couldn’t stop the stupid, all-consuming smile on his face as Keith finally caught his eye, a kind of smirk played on Keith’s lips, like he was trying to hold something back, Lance breathed in deeply as Alyssa grinned between them, gave Keith a big kiss on the cheek and left him there with Lance, they stared at each other, each as nervous as the other.

They were so distracted, so wrapped up in seeing each other for the first time that day, that they didn’t even notice Coran appearing beside them till he started talking and startled them both out of their romantic staring contest.

“Shall we begin?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! The next one is definitely the last!   
> Thanks, as always for your amazing comments and kudos'  
> I'm gonna miss this.  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


	25. The Dagger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What now?” Keith spoke again, as they watched a shooting star pass by. Lance’s eyes were screwed shut, making a wish.
> 
> “What do you mean?”
> 
> “Now we’re home, the universe is safe, we’re safe…”
> 
> “I… dunno…”
> 
> “You never figured out what your new dream was?”
> 
> “Uh, no, not really, you?”
> 
> “I guess me neither… marrying you was my ultimate dream, and I can check that off my list.”
> 
> “Maybe… maybe we don’t have to be too worried about it right now.”
> 
> “Yeah, that sounds good. I can do that.”

Lance bit his lip, Keith’s eyes were shut, and they were holding one another’s hands tightly.

“Lance?” Coran’s voice was strong against the deadly silence. “This is when you say something… be romantic?”

Lance was wracking his brains, usually in this part of the film, the person comes out with something so beautiful and poignant that the other person cries and they make out. All Lance could hear was the waves lapping and all he could feel were people’s eyes on him, staring him down. All willing him to just say something. Keith’s eyes finally opened and locked with Lance’s, an earnest look in his eye.

“Keith…” Lance breathed, “I really thought I was the best at romance. I thought I’d be able to come up with something so poetic and beautiful that I’d make everyone here and you cry. But… I can’t really put into words how I feel about you.”

Keith just beamed and Lance felt his stomach do backflips. Maybe he could do this, maybe he didn’t have to be super romantic, maybe he just had to be honest.

“So all I can say is…” Lance smiled, clutching Keith’s hands even tighter. “That I’m glad that fate took a chance on us.”

Lance could hear his mother sniffling behind him, so it was a success, although his mother almost cried at everything. He still didn’t dare look for fear of staring to cry himself.

“Beautiful,” Coran chuckled happily. “And Keith?”

Keith sucked in a deep breath and shut his eyes once more, the sun was beating down on them so much it would have been stifling if not for the sweet ocean breeze, Keith’s pony-tail lifted slightly in the wind. He looked like he was thinking deeply about what it was he wanted to say. Lance’s belly was flipping in anticipation, did this mean Keith was hoping to improvise as well?

“I...” Keith faltered, for a second Lance felt victorious. Had he rendered Keith speechless with beautiful simplicity of his words? “I know I’ve said this a million times, and I will do so for now and probably until the day I die, but standing here with you today… I can hardly believe how lucky I am.”

Nope, of course not.

“Things, between us, could have gone so completely differently.” Keith’s eyes dipped and a smile played on his lips. “I’ve never been very good with words, with saying how I feel, expressing those sorts of things.”

Lance almost laughed out loud, Keith seemed the most eloquent person he’d ever met.

“But when I fell for you,” Keith was talking so quietly Lance wondered if anyone else could even hear him. “All of those things, all of those feelings and thoughts, just… suddenly fell into place. Everything started to make sense, it was like the storm inside me was calm for the very first time.”

Lance bit his lip, hard. He was emotional for a lot of different reasons, number one, Keith was hitting everything Lance had ever thought or felt about Keith completely on the head. And number two, was well and truly showing him up in front of his entire family.

“Before you, I’d never felt like I wanted or cared to try with anyone.” Keith smirked. “But even though it didn’t seem like it from the start, you were the one person that I not only felt like I wanted to try for, but I needed to, so much. Everything that’s happened to us has been… amazing, and painful, and messy, but… holy fuck-“ Lance could feel his grandmother twitch. “It’s ours. It’s yours and its mine, and I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing.”

 

“Okay, SO!” Hunk stood, crying out for everyone’s attention.

The wedding party, after nearly every single person – including Lance’s father – had finished crying, had been moved to the reception venue, which happened to be what used to be an old, run down barn not twenty minutes from Lance’s parents’ house. Shiro and Allura had spent the last couple of months renovating it with as many volunteers from Lance’s family has they could muster. Today, it was decorated from head to foot with fairy-lights and with more eucalyptus and gypsophila adorning the bare wooden beams and tables.

The late summer sunlight was pouring through the windows in the roof and bathed the room in a beautiful golden hue.

“There are very special circumstances, that mean myself and this lovely lady here,” Hunk gestured to Allura, who curtseyed. “Are the best people at this wedding.”

“We mean, as in the best man and the best woman,” Allura laughed shyly. “We don’t think that we’re actually… the… best people here.”

“No, no, we definitely are.” Hunk smirked. Pidge was just about the only person laughing in the room, and she was only laughing because Hunk and Allura were embarrassing themselves.

“So, we figured, we’d let all of you decide who is actually the BEST, best person at this wedding.” Hunk continued unfazed. “We’ll each say a few words, and then you’ll let us know by either a show of hands, or an uproarious cheer, who said it best.”

Lance and Keith glanced at each other a little nervously, they were sat at a table with Lance’s parents and Alyssa. Shiro was working the room with his camera.

“Is that okay with everyone?” Hunk called out, expecting a cheer in response. There were a couple of twitters amongst the crowd. Matt and Pidge whooped and hollered enthusiastically, at least they could be relied on should Hunk and Allura’s plan to work the crowd fall flat.

“I’ll go first then, I guess!” Hunk shrugged, trying not to lose his confidence. “So, I’ve known Keith for a long time now, we worked together, learned to cook together, went to college together, got kicked out of college together, moved across the country together, started another college together…”

Hunk coughed awkwardly.

“I mean, I could go on… we did a bunch of stuff together basically.” Hunk rubbed the back of his neck, he and Keith certainly didn’t learn to improvise together. “But, he’s always been an amazing friend to me – apart from the time he got me kicked out of college – But even in spite of that, he was still a good friend, he beat himself up over that for MONTHS.”

Lance swore he could hear the buzz of crickets in the distance, Keith could sense the tumbleweed back in Texas rolling by.

“But… anyway…” Hunk laughed. “I know Keith, better than I know anyone else, and the person he was back then, to the person he is now, he is… nearly unrecognizable. Lance, you make him happier than I think even he thought possible, and for that, I will be eternally grateful. But not only has Keith gained a husband, but I gained a life-long friend along the way.”

Hunk quickly spun around and grabbed a glass of champagne, lifting it to the sky in a toast, everyone in the room did the same.

“So, to the happy couple.” Hunk grinned. “You’ve been through a war-“ Shiro coughed loudly. “I mean… um… you’ve been through A LOT, so it can only go up from here! So cheers!”

Hunk downed his drink, Pidge sipped her champagne and turned up her nose at it, Matt downed his and Pidge’s and refilled them both. Keith and Lance clinked their glasses and started to drink, they side-eyed each other and it became a bit of a competition, to see who could be the first to finish. Lance finished first and had to stop himself from yelling out in celebration, forgetting where he was.

“Hi, I’m Allura,” Allura began, everyone tore their eyes from their glasses and watched her. She awkwardly tucked her hair behind her ear. “This is going to sound really weird, but… I wasn’t even supposed to be standing here, today…”

Lance took in a deep breath. Hunk took his seat and let Allura have the floor.

“I’m… not sure if many of you know,” Allura was staring at the ground, Shiro was off in the distance, kneeling and taking a photo. “But, my father worked very closely with Keith,”

She looked back at Keith and Lance and smiled bravely.

“My father, was an incredible man.” Allura’s smile felt bittersweet. “He was powerful and strong, but he was fair and kind. He cared very deeply for Keith, and even though he only met Lance once, he cared just as deeply for him as well. He always spoke so highly of them both, it warmed my heart to hear of it, I felt so lucky to have friends that my father not only approved of, but loved as much as I did.”

“And it so happened, that on the day that Lance met my father,” Allura chuckled softly. “Lance made three promises to him. His first promise was that he’d keep his head down, work hard and finish college. The second, was that he would marry Keith-“ Keith glanced from Allura to Lance in shock, Lance smiled shyly. “And the third was that when he did finally marry Keith, he’d make my father his best man.”

Keith was near to choking, those were the promises that Lance swore he couldn’t tell Keith. That long? And after everything? Keith thought he was sure when he gave Lance his moon rock.

“But, sadly…” Allura continued, she looked at Coran who smiled reassuringly. “My father gave his life for a monumental cause, and because of that, Lance was unable to fulfil one of his promises. So… when my father passed away, I felt it only right that I should step up and take his place.  I care for Lance like a brother, and when my mother died and with my father away for so long, I had always felt so alone. Lance became my family, Shiro became my family, and along with that I gained so much, so many amazing people.”

Pidge drew in a shaky breath, gazing at Allura bathed in beautiful sunlight.

“I am so lucky, so incredibly blessed,” Allura smiled, Shiro was stood, camera in hand watching her talk with such incredible articulacy and emotion. “To be here, sharing this day with the two of you. I’ve never known two people more meant to be than you. You are like the moon and the sun, opposites, but one cannot exist without the other. I’m glad you broke through those clouds, made the sun shine and the stars blinding.”

“So,” Allura breathed, grabbing her champagne flute once more. “Let’s raise a toast to Keith and Lance, the most beautiful couple in the universe. And also to my father, who could not be here today, but I know would have wanted to be more than anything.”

After Allura spoke, a blissful silence fell across the room, everyone silently raised their glass and drank, Hunk didn’t even bother to ask whose speech was the best, Allura deserved it.

 

“I feel like we both won today.” Lance was leant back in his chair, watching his siblings run around the dancefloor. Rolo and Nyma were playing acoustic versions of songs and the kids were singing along obnoxiously.

“What do you mean?” Keith asked, taking a sip of his champagne.

“Well, you made the best speech at the ceremony.” Lance pointed to Keith, who nodded in agreement. “But my best woman did the best speech at the reception.”

“Hey wait…” Keith went to protest, but actually couldn’t deny that Allura’s speech was beautiful, Hunk’s was… messy, but his heart was in the right place.

“So, it’s a draw!” Lance smiled. “I mean, it’s a draw until I get out on that dance floor and absolutely wreck you with these hips!”

Keith laughed, again, he couldn’t deny that.

“Guys, it’s time for your first dance!” Pidge swept over excitedly. Keith and Lance both felt their stomachs fill with butterflies. They knew it was their wedding, but it was still nerve-wracking to know that they’d be the total centre of attention.

Lance stood up and reached for Keith’s hand, they made their way over to the dance floor. Sofia dragged the children away as a crowd formed around Keith and Lance. Most people had their phones out ready to record.

“You ready?” Lance cocked and eyebrow, Keith whimpered a little, but nodded all the same. They heard the first few chords and clumsily tried to dance together. They last time they’d danced, Lance was so drunk that they didn’t have to fight over who would lead. But right now, they were mostly sober and hadn’t even thought to discuss who would lead whom.

They knocked into each other and Keith had to stop himself from laughing.

“You walked down the aisle, therefore I lead.” Lance whispered, his voice like a challenge.

“Surely that means that I get to lead.” Keith whispered too, their hands not quite finding their place on one another’s bodies.

“No, we have to remain consistent. That’s not how normal weddings work.” Lance wanted to sound stern, but there was laughter staining his voice.

“I’d hardly call this a normal wedding.” Keith was smirking, Lance finally relented and let Keith lead. Once they’d co-ordinated themselves, they finally found their rhythm. Rolo and Nyma were harmonizing beautifully and they did the song such justice. Lance hazarded a look at his parents, who were clinging to each other, as if they were reliving their wedding all over again, but as observers.

Lance had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying. He opted to rest his head against Keith’s and close his eyes. After a while, Shiro grabbed Allura’s hand and pulled her onto the dancefloor, eventually everyone else joined in too. Pidge, Hunk and Matt were dancing together and laughing at how ridiculous they looked.

Lance pulled back and looked at Keith, who was freckly and pink and just so beautiful. He had this crazy, contented smile on his face, he grabbed Lance’s collar and pulled him in for a kiss. It was the second time they’d kissed that day alone but it still felt like the first. Lance’s arms slipped around Keith’s waist and pulled him close as the music swelled. Lance’s heart swelled with the music, feeling Keith’s warmth against his chest. He couldn’t believe they were actually there.

 

The sun had set and the stars were out, Lance and Keith were sat outside on the dry grass. The air was still warm, a gentle breeze passing them by.

“This… is gonna sound like a really strange question.” Keith suddenly spoke, they’d been sat for at least ten minutes in complete, contented silence. “But earlier today… did you… feel something?”

“Um, what kind of something?” Lance asked, taking a sip of the beer in his hand. “Like feel in love? Because if you’re only feeling that now then we could have some potential issues.”

“No, no, not that.” Keith chuckled, peeling the label off his bottle of beer.

“You mean you’re not in love with me at all?!” Lance gasped, dramatically.

“Noooo!” Keith laughed, trying to get his words out. “I mean, just before we got married, I had this really strange feeling, like… something was telling me to go somewhere.”

“Like… cold feet?” Lance asked again, watching Keith absent-mindedly ripping up the label he’d just finished pulling off his bottle.

“No, no definitely not.” Keith smirked. “Don’t worry about it, was probably nothing. I just felt the urge to go to the desert, for some reason.”

“Riiight,” Lance shook his head. “You’re getting more and more x-filesy every single day.”

“Now that we’re home and we’ve got some free time, we’ll have to binge watch that.” Keith grinned.

“My mom has every single series on blu-ray! We could totally do that!” Lance squealed excitedly.

“Blu-ray?!” Keith scoffed and Lance rolled his eyes.

The silence fell once more, they gazed up at the sky together, Keith dropped onto his back and dragged Lance down with him. They were gazing up at the constellations, at Sagittarius, Scuntun and Telescopium, dazzlingly bright against the darkness of the sky.

“What now?” Keith spoke again, as they watched a shooting star pass by. Lance’s eyes were screwed shut, making a wish.

“What do you mean?”

“Now we’re home, the universe is safe, we’re safe…”

“I… dunno…”

“You never figured out what your new dream was?”

“Uh, no, not really, you?”

“I guess me neither… marrying you was my ultimate dream, and I can check that off my list.”

“Maybe… maybe we don’t have to be too worried about it right now.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. I can do that.” 

 

Keith was sat cross-legged on the balcony, his back leant up against the glass of the French doors, the sun was rising, it was sure to be a beautiful day. He had a coffee in one hand and an astronomy book in the other, it was so quiet and peaceful, till Lance came barrelling through the doors, his phone clutched in his hand, looking crazy and desperate.

“KEITH!” Lance’s voice sliced through the peaceful ambience of the morning. “Shiro’s on the phone! He said it’s REALLY important!”

Keith raised an eyebrow, what could be so important? He took the phone from Lance and held it to his ear.

“Shiro?” Keith asked as he took a sip of his coffee.

“YOU’RE AN ALIEN?!” Shiro screamed, Keith proceeded to spit the entire contents of coffee from his mouth in shock.

“What?!” Keith wiped his mouth, slamming his coffee mug down on the floor. “How do you know about that?!”

As far as Keith was concerned, that information was completely classified, only Coran, Lance and Keith knew about it, as well as a couple of the higher-ups. Keith immediately looked up at Lance, trying to ask him with his eyes if he was responsible for Shiro’s sudden knowledge.

“I got a really strange letter, it was addressed to my mom!” Shiro cried down the phone. “I opened it because it was addressed to her, but it was meant for you.”

“W-what?” Keith’s stomach flipped at that. A Letter?

“Once I read the first line, I stopped reading it…” Shiro muttered. “You should really get over here and read it for yourself.”

“O-ok.” Keith shakily hung up the phone, Lance was gazing at him expectantly.

“Well?!” Lance cried.

“We… need to go to the Coffee shop.” Keith’s voice was surprisingly steady and even, Lance just nodded wordlessly and they left. Lance had finally got his full driving licence so he offered to drive, which Keith appreciated because something, was about to happen, he could feel it and he couldn’t concentrate on anything right now.

 

They pulled up outside the coffee shop and climbed out of the car, it was nearly completely empty. They could see Shiro was stood with his arms folded, staring seriously at the wall, Allura was stood next to him, trying to say something.

Lance reached out and grabbed Keith’s hand in an attempt to reassure him. Keith weakly smiled and they both entered, Shiro turned, he had the letter in question clutched in his prosthetic hand. Without a word he handed it over to Keith.

“It came with a package, after I read the first part of the letter, I didn’t bother to open the package.”

Keith shuddered and opened the envelope and pulled out the letter inside. The writing was messy, like it had been written in a rush.

 

                _My Son,_

 

Keith’s heart was racing, what was happening?!

 

                _I hope that this letter finds you in good health. I want you to know that if things were different, you wouldn’t be reading this letter right now._

_But. Unfortunately, we have been dealt an unfortunate fate. You’re probably grown now and it breaks my heart to know that we won’t be there to watch you grow._

_There is something much bigger than all of us happening out there, and you will only be safe here._

_This gift is something to keep you safe. Keep it with you wherever you go, one day it will all make sense._

Lance was reading over his shoulder. He couldn’t help it, it was all so dramatic.

 

_Know that you were and are destined for greatness._

_Good luck and live a life of joy._

 

There was no signature, no sign off, no indication of who it was actually from. But it didn’t explain why Shiro suddenly knew about Keith’s heritage. Allura was looking a little guilty, her eyes low, not wanting to make eye contact. Keith had experience with how easily Coran would let go of information.

Keith turned his head and spotted the package on the counter. He approached it, it was in cardboard, he lifted it and he could feel a familiar weight within. He ripped into the box and found inside another box, but it was a pristine black, almost weightless, it had an ornate clasp on the side. Keith could feel his heart in his throat he lifted the clasp carefully and opened the box.

Within it was a small dagger, but the blade itself immediately drew his attention, it was nearly the same material as Lance’s engagement ring. Coran never told Keith what the material itself was called, but he was gazing at it, it’s stunning reflection drawing him in. The next thing that drew his attention was a small etching on the hilt of the sword, it was like a sketchy S.

He reached out for the handle of the dagger and picked it up, it was so light and so familiar, like he’d held this dagger a million times before.

“Holy shit, what is that?!” Lance cried, breaking Keith out of his enamoured trance.

“I don’t know…” Keith breathed, admiring it closer, it looked sharp, deadly even. Why had he been given this? And why now, after all these years. “Does it tell you where it came from?”

Shiro just shook his head, gazing at the dagger in Keith’s hand. Keith hated this, he hated that all these things were coming to light, with little to no explanation. This didn’t clear anything up, if anything it just made things more annoying and confusing. Maybe he was just better off not knowing, living in ignorance.

And now he was just pissed.

“I don’t want it. Just throw it in the trash or something.” Keith sighed bitterly, dropping the dagger back in the box unceremoniously.

“Keith, you can’t just throw it away!” Allura protested. “At least send it to Coran so he can take a look at it, anything!”

“I don’t want it. I don’t care! I don’t want to know.” Keith hissed, slamming the lid shut and turning to storm out, but Lance got in his way.

“Keith.” Lance pressed his palm flat against Keith’s chest. It was a simple gesture but it calmed Keith to no end, he could feel the weight of Lance’s rings against his chest. “Send it to Coran.”

“No. Lance.” Keith’s voice was less aggressive but he daren’t look in Lance’s eyes. “I don’t want to know. I’ve got all the family I need right here. They let me down for this long, why now? Why should I care now?”

“Fine, but at least… just let Coran see it.” Lance sighed, knowing that Keith was resolute in his decision. “If it can give them any information about… The Galra, it’ll be extremely useful to them.”

Keith finally looked up at Lance, who had the same determined look on his face as he did on missions in the Garrison, neither of them were going to budge. But Lance wasn’t wrong, if he sent it away, it meant he didn’t have to think about it.

“Fine.” He sighed, he spoke to Allura without turning to face her. “Can you send that to Coran please. I don’t want to see it again.”

Lance dropped his hand from Keith’s chest and Keith immediately made for the door, he didn’t want to see their faces, he knew he was being stubborn, but he was so angry.

As soon as he stepped out the door, he felt that feeling in his chest once more. The feeling that he had to go, the feeling that he had to get into his car and just keep driving, something was drawing him away. But the feeling, the energy, was suddenly much stronger. He didn’t even realise that Lance was there until he started talking.

“Keith? Are you okay?” Lance placed his hand on Keith’s shoulders, Keith twitched away out of shock and Lance looked hurt. “Woah, sorry.”

“No, no, Lance are you sure you can’t feel that?!” Keith turned and grabbed Lance’s arms, as if he were about to shake him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Lance whined. “I can’t feel anything!”

“What is wrong with me then?!” Keith cried. “I have this feeling that we just need to go, we need to drive into the desert and… I don’t know. Just keep going until I feel it.”

Lance thought about that for a second.

“Why don’t we?” Lance asked, Keith raised an eyebrow like it was the most ridiculous suggestion he’d ever heard.

“What?” Keith shook his head slowly.

“Let’s just go. We’ve both got the weekend off, why the hell not?!” Lance grinned. “It’s obviously bothering you, and it might take your mind off the whole… Galra blade? Thing? So, let’s just go, see where this feeling takes us?”

Keith was at a loss for words, but the feeling in his chest swelled at Lance’s suggestion.

“C’mon! We don’t have any time to lose!” Lance threw his fist into the air dramatically. “Let’s go! Team Kogane!”

Keith couldn’t help the laughter that escaped his lips.

“Don’t we need to go pack stuff?” Keith asked, watching Lance storm enthusiastically over to the car.

“NO! THIS IS AN IMPULSIVE THING!” Lance cried as he opened the car door. “IT’S SUPER ROMANTIC AND EXCITING, PACKING IS FOR THE WEAK!”

 

And so they drove, for hours, the sun had set and the moon was bright in the sky, the stars were beautiful and they were four hours away from any kind of civilisation. Keith could feel the feeling growing stronger and stronger, so much so that he was getting fidgety and antsy.

“Hey, Keith,” Lance broke the tense silence. “Did you know that Mercury and Venus are the only planets in this solar system without moons?!”

“Uh…” Keith smirked

“Did you know that a day on Pluto,” Lance glanced out of the window at the stars. “Lasts 6 days and 9 hours!”

“Okay…”

“BUT! Did you know!” Lance exclaimed. “That we know more about space, than we do about the deep ocean. Which means, that one day… I might actually be able to bang a mermaid.”

“Wow, Lance.” Keith laughed.

“Décolletage?” Lance asked.

“What?”

“Je ne sais quoi?”

“I don’t understand?”

“Petit bourgeois?”

“What are you trying to say?”

“What’s French for a threesome?!”

“Ménage à trois?”

“YES! You, me, some beautiful mer…person?”

Keith laughed, the pressure in his chest was easing.

“How are you feeling now?” Lance asked.

“I’m feeling like should buy one of those fake mermaid tails,” Keith smirked, leaning against the car window. “So you don’t lose interest in me,”

“Not realistic enough!” Lance laughed. “I’ve thought about going back to college and doing marine biology.”

“What about saving the universe and making sure it stays safe?” Keith smiled, watching Lance concentrate on the road.

“I think the universe and all other universes are pretty safe with you around.” Lance giggled, the road seemed to go on forever. Lance glanced at the fuel gauge, they were running low.

“Hey, could you check your phone and see where the nearest gas station is?” Lance asked. Keith grunted and reached for his phone, he’d not checked it and suddenly noticed a message from Allura.

Allura_  I’m sorry, Keith.

Keith sighed, it wasn’t really her fault. It was Coran’s for having such a big mouth. But rather than reply to her, he went into his browser and tried to find the nearest gas station.

“Shit.” Keith cursed.

“Don’t tell me.”

“Another four hours.”

Lance groaned, maybe romantic impulsivity only worked in movies. After a couple more miles, the car inevitably began to slow and splutter to a stop.

Lance pulled over onto the side of the highway and put it into park. Keith fired off a ‘rescue us’ text off to Allura and turned to face Lance, sighing.

“So…” Keith whistled.

“Do you wanna talk about something that’s been bothering me for a while?” Lance suggested, Keith raised his eyebrows.

“Depends… what’s the subject matter?” Keith shrugged. “Are you gonna divorce me on the edge of the highway in the middle of the night? Because that can surely wait till we’ve been rescued, or at least until the morning?”

“No, no,” Lance smiled, turning in his seat, leaning his back against the car door and bringing his legs up onto the seat. Keith did the same, they tangled their legs together. “But it is kind of serious.”

“I mean, I can’t run away from you can I?” Keith gestured to the desert landscape around them.

“I feel like… we haven’t really talked properly about everything that happened.” Lance sighed, Keith’s stomach knotted. “I mean, on Liberte. I think… maybe this whole blade thing could potentially tell us how that all went down, why it all happened the way it did.”

Keith really didn’t want to talk about this. Lance had said that this would be an opportunity to take his mind OFF the package/letter bombshell.

“Maybe, whoever wrote that letter is right?” Lance rubbed his hand on Keith’s shin, as if trying to calm a rage that might suddenly flare. “What if you, if that blade, if the things that have happened to you, is the key to this whole thing. Those… soldiers, those Galra soldiers, they knew who you were.”

“Lance-“ Keith almost pulled his legs away, but Lance tightened his grip, Keith relented. “I don’t know, I don’t think I want to know either.”

“But, aren’t you even just a little bit curious?” Lance whined. “Like, aren’t you upset that you won’t get answers this way?”

“Lance.” Keith’s voice was stern suddenly. “I can’t expect you to understand, because this insane shit isn’t happening to you. I’ve wanted to know my entire life why I wasn’t good enough for my parents, not even good enough for my family.”

Lance reeled back a little, he didn’t want to start an argument. He should have guessed this would happen, he was naïve to think that Keith would want to talk rationally about this.

“I spent my entire teen life trying to run away.” Keith grit his teeth. “To try and find some kind of… hint, some kind of reason why I was abandoned. But then, when I found out about my genetics? I went numb, I didn’t care, I didn’t want to know anymore. I still don’t. It’s too late now.”

“B-but, the person that wrote that letter, they obviously care-“

“Do they?! Or even did they, ever?” Keith stared out of the window, pulling his legs away and clutching them close to himself. “It’s been twenty four years, they had plenty of time to find me, it’s not fair.”

“I know Keith but…” Lance sighed, knowing he probably should give up. “I just thought I’d try. I really care about you… and I want you to feel, I don’t know, validated? I know that sounds weird but that’s the only way I can describe it.”

“I’m done having this conversation.” Keith whispered.

He suddenly felt Lance sidle up to him.

“Do you speak French?” Lance whispered in his ear. Keith twitched away.

“What? Why are you asking me that?” Keith nudged Lance away gently.

“Because you knew what a threesome was in French,” Lance raised his eyebrows like Keith was stupid for asking that question. “And French is the language of love, and anyone who speaks it is like, ten times sexier for it."

“Bonjour?” Keith raised his eyebrow, Lance groaned loudly and way over the top, Keith smirked at that. “Tu as de beaux yeux…”

“Woah, what does that mean?” Lance asked, leaning in a little closer, Keith could feel his breath on his neck. Clouding his judgement and making him feel… things.

“You have beautiful eyes…” Keith breathed quietly.

“What else?” Lance smiled slightly.

“Tu es l’amour de ma vie.” Keith whispered.

Lance cocked his head, needing a translation, but his eyes were lidded and cheeks pink.

“You are the love of my life.”

 

“Keith… Coran came back to us with some news, if you wanted to hear it?” Allura wandered over a little awkwardly. Keith hadn’t been able to look her in the eye since she and Shiro had turned up to rescue them whilst Lance and Keith were in the middle of some very multi-lingual car sex.

“Not really.” Keith pouted and turned away.

“Is it not… c’est bon?” Allura pouted, Keith groaned LOUDLY.

“That is NOT how you say that.” Keith groaned, he wasn’t going to live this down, he still wasn’t looking at her, but she was cracking up.

“Por favor?” Allura whined wantonly, fluttering her eyelashes. Keith swore and tried not to laugh, there was no way she was gonna break him.

“Nope.”

“Minette?”

Keith broke, he wanted to be embarrassed, but Allura’s terrible contextual use broke him completely.

“Allura! Please!” He laughed.

“I’m SO curious! How do you know French?!” Allura plopped herself casually down on the chair opposite him.

“I studied it like everyone else in high school,” Keith shrugged. “I just… really liked the sound of it, so I stole a text book and did some research, what of it?!”

“I dunno, I just did not expect that from you!” Allura smiled. “And… I don’t know how many times me and Shiro can say it, but we are sorry for the bad timing.”

“No, no, it’s not your fault.” Keith sighed. “You came all the way to rescue us and were met with a traumatic view that you’ll probably never be able to un-see, I don’t think Shiro will ever look at me the same again.”

“I’ve been teasing him all day by calling him ‘mon amour’,” Allura smirked, Keith hid his face in his hand and groaned loudly again.

“But seriously, aren’t you just the least bit curious?” Allura asked, she obviously had a letter clutched in her hand, ready to present it to Keith like a diploma.

Lance had been away for a couple of days, he was working a couple of hours away, on shift at the Garrison hangar, it was like a space-version of air traffic control.

Whilst Keith had been on his own, he’d thought non-stop about what he wanted to do. He’d tried to force himself on Hunk and Pidge in an effort to take his mind off it, but Pidge was working away too and Hunk was insistent that Lance find out what Coran would have to say. He’d dragged himself to the coffee shop in the hopes that the awkward memory of Shiro and Allura discovering them on the side of the road in a compromising position would distract him further, but then Allura turned up and ruined it for him.

“Just. Give me the envelope.” Keith sighed, Allura gave a little victorious smile and handed it over, Keith begrudgingly took it and stared long and hard at the seal, he should just open it and get it over with. It might not even be anything, it could be completely useless and inconclusive. It was just a dagger, hell it could be so insignificant he could have used it to open this letter.

Allura was on the edge of her seat, staring, willing him to rip it open and read it. She was getting impatient, Keith fingered the edge of the envelope, teasing the edge lightly. His heart was in his throat, if he thought about it, long and hard, he did want to know. He wanted to know more than anything. So he tore the envelope open and pulled the paper out.

It was short and it was sweet, and it made Keith angrier than he cared to mention as Allura slapped the pristine black box down onto the table in front of him, as if from nowhere.

 

                Keith.

                Keep it with you, it will all make sense soon.

 

 

Lance had nicknamed Keith’s dagger Purple. And Purple sat on the windowsill next to Hanzo, a terrifying reminder that Keith’s fate was still undecided.

Whatever poetic or fantastical happening that was supposed to happen STILL hadn’t happened and Keith was sick of this… pre-determined… happening.

It had been a year, a year of coming to and from Space, of helping Lance take evening classes in marine biology and of staring at that dagger, since Lance and Keith’s adventures in the desert, he hadn’t experienced that… energy.

But for some reason, he woke up with this unbelievable feeling in his bones. Like it was now or never.

He didn’t even notice that Lance wasn’t in bed with him, until he raced into the living room fully clothed and nearly had a heart attack when he saw Lance in the kitchen, staring down a cup of coffee.

“Lance?” Keith spluttered. His heart beating double time.

“KEITH.” Lance whisper-yelled. “I think I know what you mean now.”

“You do?!” Keith whisper-yelled in response.

“YES WE HAVE TO GO!” Lance approached Keith with a crazy look in his eyes, his hands suddenly gripping Keith’s arms. Keith nodded aggressively, Lance fixed him with a stern look, downed his coffee and pulled on his shoes.

They filled the car and a couple of canisters with gas, and grabbed some snacks. They then piled Pidge, Hunk, Allura and Shiro into the car – who were all tired and confused – and drove.

There was a weird kind of understanding, a silence that didn’t need explaining as they chased the sunrise. They drove and drove, stopping to refuel on the side of the highway and scarf some food, the feeling of determination was infectious. They kept going and kept going, the feeling in Keith’s chest was near to bursting, when suddenly-

“STOP THE CAR!” Keith cried, louder than he meant to, everyone in the car cringed at the loudness of his voice and nearly screamed as Lance slammed on the brakes.

Keith frantically unbuckled himself from the car, ran out onto the desert floor and felt it. He started running, running till his legs almost gave out, running till his lungs physically struggled to pull in air, until he stopped and stared around him. There was a huge out-cropping in front of him, he heard the distant footsteps of his friends behind him, Pidge was there first.

“Woah…” She spoke breathlessly. “I… I feel it.”

Keith laughed victoriously, or tried to with the little oxygen he had left.

When the others’ caught up, they all stared in awe, the orange rock was calling out to them.

“C’mon.” Shiro gestured, and they headed… somewhere, but it was like they all knew where to go.

Suddenly Lance heard something familiar, the mess of voices and noises in his head from when he was on the space station filled his ears once more, excitement flooded through him, the one wish he had that he wouldn’t dare tell anyone felt like it was becoming a reality.

The came to an opening, the beginning of a cave, the carvings on the wall they all recognized from their adventures at the space museum.

“Shut up, this is real?!” Hunk gushed, brushing his hand against the carvings once they entered.

“Woah,” Allura whispered.

“What are these?” Shiro whispered.

Lance extended his hand and tentatively rubbed some dust off the wall. Suddenly, blue light lit up the entire cavern, Lance and Keith looked at each other as they heard a distant rumbling.

“Voltron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's goofy and it's short, but there it is.  
> I'm gonna miss this so much, and i'm gonna miss all your lovely comments.  
> I was thinking if enough people want it, potentially doing little one shots of their adventures with voltron in space, if that's lame then let me know.  
> But i was also thinking that i might do an alternative version of this story, much darker and angsty, branching off from chapter 19, but i'm not sure if that'd be totally evil.  
> (EDIT) yo if you wanted the angst here it iiiiisss! http://archiveofourown.org/works/11728023/chapters/26423424  
> (EDIT 2) I FINALLY STARTED FLUFFY ONE-SHOTS! GET ON IT!  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/11823750/chapters/26681376
> 
> Love you all <3  
> This and you guys have made me so happy, so thankyou!  
> tumblr - foxsmo-lder


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